A Tooth For a Tooth

(1)

A long time passed without knowing it, and it was already past the time for children to fall asleep. Seeing Yang Yitong starting to wilt, Yang Ren said, "Hey, go to sleep with grandma."

Yang Yitong stretched out his little hand to hold his father, and said, "I want to sleep with my father."

"Father is waiting for Uncle Xu here, you can go." Yang Ren patted the child on the back lightly, telling him to go back to the next door.

Yang Yitong didn't dare to be disobedient, but he was still reluctant, looking back at Yang Ren step by step. In order to reassure his son, Yang Ren tried his best to squeeze out a smile for him.

Although a child couldn't explain Yang Ren's emotional changes that night, Yang Yitong could feel it. He was worried about his father, but he couldn't knock on Uncle Xu's door for him.

Sitting on the cold floor, Yang Ren had never been so scared, like a child abandoned by his mother.He knew that although Xu Yao didn't say anything, it was painful and difficult to live every day. Yang Ren was trying his best to accompany him, so that he would not have the idea of ​​not being able to live, but at this moment, he was out of his sight. If he If he just gave up his life, will Yang Ren still survive?

The deaf-blind people themselves are in pain, and the people who live beside them and love them deeply are also in pain. This kind of physical suffering can only be resisted by both parties, but now Xu Yao has closed the door and rejected Yang Ren's offer. participate.When they want to live well, they will actively accept the information sent by the surrounding environment, and if they want to give up the connection with the surrounding world, no matter how healthy people do, it is impossible to squeeze into their world.

(2)

Yang Ren was afraid that Xu Yao would not think about doing something stupid, and his heart was always hanging. The old man and Xiao Ai went back to the room to sleep one after another, but he still sat on the ground motionless.Before the old man came up with the idea to pry open the door, Yang Ren did not agree, people have dignity, Xu Yao already lived without much privacy in this situation, and broke the door rudely, what did he think?What's more, he used his deafness and blindness to lie to him, Xu Yao probably felt that his self-esteem had been hurt.

There has never been any sound in the bedroom. Xu Yao's ears have been bad since he was a child, so sometimes he can't perceive or control such inadvertent sounds when he puts a bowl or opens a cabinet door.But this night, the bedroom was surprisingly quiet, and this terrible atmosphere tortured Yang Ren's heart all the time.

I don't know how long it took before Yang Ren fell asleep in despair and worry, but his posture remained the same, with his back leaning against the door frame, and the floor was slightly cold.

I don't know if the old man knew about Yang Ren's difficulties this night, he didn't get up at night to make trouble for him, he slept soundly and quietly in his own bed.At three o'clock in the morning, the door of Xu Yao's bedroom suddenly opened. He didn't step out and kick Yang Ren all at once, but just opened the door and stood motionless at the door.

Hearing, but not hearing movement, looking, not seeing scene.

Not bad, Yang Ren woke up in time, he squinted his eyes and looked up at Xu Yao, Xu Yao didn't intend to come out, as if he opened the door specially, knowing that he was at the door.

Yang Ren stood up, moved his legs and feet, and then hugged Xu Yao. He didn't know if Xu Yao would push him away, but he couldn't let go of his helplessness.

(3)

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept it from you." Yang Ren whispered in his ear, although Xu Yao didn't wear a hearing aid.

Feeling the warm breath in his ears, Xu Yao didn't rush to listen, but asked, "What time is it?"

"Three o'clock." Yang Ren took Xu Yao's hand to his lips, and at the same time felt a pang in his heart. He knew that it was difficult for Xu Yao to tell the exact time a long time ago. Isn't it very difficult to live in such chaos? Difficult? "Why do you get up in the middle of the night to open the door?" Yang Ren asked him.

There was some expression on Xu Yao's face, and he said, "I don't know how long it has been, I'm afraid you will worry."

Thanks.Thank you for his maturity and reason.

Seeing him standing in front of him intact, Yang Ren only had this sentence in his mind, he wanted to say it to Xu Yao a hundred times.

"Let's think of a way. I'll see if there is a watch you can use tomorrow." Yang Ren said, although Xu Yao's eyes can still distinguish day from night, but for a person who has been healthy for more than 20 years, after losing his eyesight, he still can There is a need for precise timing.

Xu Yao shook his head. He didn't know whether to say no, or it didn't matter. Yang Ren looked at him, and suddenly felt that after the heavy life started, Xu Yao seemed to be different from ten years ago. He walked with his hands in the pockets of his white coat. Feng's figure has blurred into a white spot, which makes people sigh.

"Is it tiring to live like this? Is it painful to not be able to tell the time?" Yang Ren finally asked a sensitive question.

Xu Yao didn't intend to lie to him, and nodded heavily.

(4)

In the dark night, the bedroom and living room were not turned on, Yang Ren and Xu Yao were standing at the door, their postures were somewhat entangled, hugging each other, and Xu Yao's hand was on Yang Ren's lips.He is not used to telling his difficulties, and he is always thinking about others.

So Xu Yao asked: "With me, are you tired too?"

Yang Ren shook his head vigorously: "No, no."

Finally, the corners of Xu Yao's mouth turned up again, but this time, it was as if a pair of heavy shackles were hung on the corners of his mouth, which fell stubbornly, and the corner of his mouth seemed to have experienced the accumulation of energy from his whole body.

"I...I don't want to torture the people around me because of me." Xu Yao said slowly and heavily, which almost brought Yang Ren to tears. He had never talked with Xu Yao like this before. After hearing Xu Yao's heartfelt despair, he was still so negative that he couldn't accept it for a while.

"Please...please Xu Yao, don't give up, no matter how bad your body is, as long as you are alive and by my side, that's fine." Yang Ren didn't know if his thoughts were selfish, but he heard the Braille teacher say that he was deaf. Blind people will have mental breakdowns, and I have seen the news of the euthanasia of twin deaf twins who were blind, and I am always worried that Xu Yao will choose to end all these pains.

I want to help you share.Yang Ren thought.

Xu Yao took his hand from Yang Ren's lips, gently held his face, and said seriously: "Don't worry, there are too many people I don't want to part with. I can't let go of my little love, my dad, and even more so." I can't let you down."

The author has something to say:

This chapter came out after I was stuck for a week, so don’t be disgusted