midsummer restlessness

Chongqing has been cloudy and rainy for several days.

Xia An nestled in the hotel, browsing the webpage boredly.

Since returning to China last week, she has been living in a hotel, relying on ordering food at the front desk and free WIFI.

Compared to the dark days of Melbourne's hectic everyday, this lifestyle seems like a divine dawn from heaven.

She naturally cherishes this hard-won vacation while taking a break from her busy schedule.

Nestled on the sofa, Xia An held a bag of potato chips in one hand, and swipe the mouse with the other to click to view the latest gossip or the introduction of upcoming movies. Various snacks were scattered on the coffee table.

Xia An lived this kind of happy life like a pig with more peace of mind than a pig.

If it wasn't for An Hongdou's phone call, she would have almost forgotten the purpose of her trip back to China.

Chewing cucumber-flavored delights, Xia An searched for the ringtone and dug out the phone from the corner of the sofa. After sliding the icon and squinting to see the caller ID, he hurriedly jumped up from the sofa.

"Hey, Dou Zi? Is there something about the cemetery?"

According to the address described on the phone, Xia An saw An Hongdou holding a blue umbrella under a gray office building.

"Oh, you're here, I'm freezing to death."

An Hongdou stomped her feet and complained, "It's already June, why is it still so cold, lend me your coat to wear."

As he spoke, he skillfully took off Xia An's coat, unfolded it and put it on himself, "Tsk tsk, it's a bit bigger."

Xia An gave her a blank look, "Why don't you say that you still haven't grown up after all these years."

"That's because I don't care about growth, concentration is essence, understand?" An Hongdou rolled her eyes in return.

He quickly put away the umbrella, and dragged Xia An into the office building. An Hongdou said in a nagging voice, "Have you brought your ID card? And uncle's death certificate. Let's go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the formalities first, and then we will go to the Civil Affairs Bureau." Go to the price bureau to pay the fee and get a payment receipt.”

"When will the cemetery come down?"

Xia An followed her footsteps and asked anxiously.

"After dealing with these, you can go to the headquarters to sign the contract, and the stamping will be done in half a month."

An Hongdou patted her on the shoulder, "Don't worry."

It was already very late after all the formalities were processed, and it was already dark when I walked out of the office building.

In the evening, the clouds were fiery red, burning the entire gray-white mountains.

Rows of street lamps on both sides were lit, and the streets were crowded with people and traffic.

The two walked down the tight and long steps in front of them without rushing.

"Is it Auntie's intention that uncle moved the tomb?"

An Hongdou tucked her hands into her sleeves, raised her eyes and asked Xia An beside her.

"No." Xia An tightened the scarf, and put her hand in the pocket of her trousers, unwilling to take it out, "I mean."

"I don't want to bury him in that place at will. Back then, I couldn't take care of it, and no one took care of it. Now that I have the ability, I want to change him to a better place."

Xia An's tone was very flat, but An Hongdou still felt a little uncomfortable listening to it.

"Then your return to China this time is not just to move uncle's tomb."

"Well, there are other things."

Xia An nodded, "I plan to sell that old house."

"Crazy you!"

An Hongdou's expected reaction was fierce, "No! I don't agree!"

"Your father has left you only one house in total, so it's good to have a home if you stay there."

An Hongdou took the lead and quickly walked down a few steps, standing in front of her and staring up at Xia An.

"Are you really planning to stay in Melbourne and not come back?"

Xia An shrank her neck into her collar, and because she was not wearing a coat, her face wrinkled in the cold.

"Douzi, my dad has been gone for so many years, and the house has been empty, so I don't think about it anymore."

"A few days ago, my neighbors contacted me saying that the building was going to be demolished, and asked me if I wanted to sell it, and I could raise the price before rushing to demolish it. The location of my old house was not good, and the subsidy given was lower than the market price. Not to mention paying for the new building, the location of the residence must be bad, and it will be difficult to sell it at that time."

"How did you get back?"

An Hongdou's eyes widened, "You just, you agree?"

"No, I said think about it again."

An Hongdou breathed a sigh of relief.

"Even if I want to sell it, I have to go there first. I have a lot of things still inside."

Xia An spoke casually, and An Hongdou held his breath in his throat.

"Xiaan..."

"It's okay, if you sell it, you won't think about it, and if you don't think about it, you will give up."

She patted An Hongdou and went down the steps.

A few months ago, Xia An and An Hongdou talked about moving the tomb several times during video chat. Although they didn't go into details, they kept thinking about finding an opportunity to move the tomb.

To catch up with the country's promotion of green burial, the price of cemetery was once exorbitantly high.

Knowing that Xia An couldn't afford the money, An Hongdou took over the matter without making a fuss. She didn't know who she found, and bought the location without much effort, and even helped take care of it in China for a few months. After hearing the news of Xia An's return to China, he hastily arranged to go through the formalities.

Xia An didn't say anything on the surface to help this matter, but he was very moved in his heart.

After being separated for so many years, the love has not diminished at all.

It is as natural as if I often lent her a signature pen when I was still in school.

The so-called girlfriends are probably nothing more than that.

Before you speak, take what you need without saying a word, and take it for granted.

For Xia An, An Hongdou is such an existence.

One of the few beings who can sit with her and wait for the dawn in the darkest days.

"I remember that my uncle doesn't seem to believe in any religion, so he bought an ordinary tomb without permission."

An Hongdou stirred the milk tea and chattered.

"It is estimated that the contract will be signed in the middle of this month. I have arranged everything for erecting a monument and engraving. At the end of August at the latest, I will accompany you to see your uncle. Xia An, don't worry too much."

"Yeah." Xia An nodded, looked at the girl on the opposite side with a serious look, "Douzi, I'm sorry to trouble you."

An Hongdou choked on the milk tea and almost spit it out, "Stop!"

While pulling out a few tissues to wipe his mouth, he looked disgusted, "Ma Liu'er, take back your innocent and clear eyes, please don't get me wrong, I'm not helping you with your work for nothing, and you have to be serious when you're done." I will kill you."

Xia An repeatedly agreed, "No problem, no problem, I'll lie on the table and let you slaughter it. How much can you eat with your small amount of food?"

An Hongdou gave her a blank look and ignored her, and continued to poke the pearls in her cup with her head down, "Anyway, let's talk about it first, conservatively estimate that you will have to stay in China for at least a few months, why, do you really plan to stay in the hotel all the time?"

"I do think so."

Xia An looked up at her, obviously thinking about this issue a long time ago.

"The main reason is that the food in the hotel is too bad."

An Hongdou looked at her expressionlessly.

“Poor location, too noisy.”

Still expressionless.

"Okay...too expensive, no money."

Xia An covered her face.

An Hongdou had expected this to happen a long time ago, sighed helplessly, and pushed Xia An with her arms, "Anzi, if you really have nowhere to go, you can stay with me first, it's better than going outside."

"Let's talk about it in a few days..." Xia An lowered his eyes, slanting his bangs to cover a shadow thoughtfully.

"hold on."

"Heh." An Hongdou wanted to laugh a little, and teased, "Who are you waiting for, and how long are you waiting for? Seven years isn't enough, is it?"

Xia An lowered her eyes and didn't answer. An Hongdou glanced at her from the corner of her eye. While pounding the ice cream with a spoon, she said in a firm tone, "Then it's settled. I'll stay at my house."

Xia An lowered his head and concentrated on drinking the milk tea, but still remained silent.

An Hongdou felt a rush of fire, let go of the spoon in her hand, and turned her head to hate iron for steel, "Xia An, I think it is necessary to remind you again."

"Wang Junkai has a girlfriend. The two have been in love for at least two years. They are rushing to talk about marriage. It's different from when I was in high school. It's different from my first love. It's different from when I was with you. Same."

"It was you who insisted on leaving at the beginning, so when you come back and have no place to live, you can only find a way to find your own way. No one will always wait for you at the same place. Everyone still has to go their own way after all. Wang Junkai—— He won't be what he used to be."

It won't be like before, just showing up when you have nowhere to go, holding you tight, and taking you home.

An Hongdou paused, sighed, and slowed down her tone, "Love in this world cannot be eaten as food, and life must be lived. Everyone can live without anyone."

"Besides, these years, without him, you have lived well by yourself."

Xia An pursed her lips and looked away.

An Hongdou's words were as sharp as a knife, piercing the softest part of her heart.

Vigorously peeling off the protective layer she had made with time and despair for so many years, all her self-deceptions were completely exposed without any cover.

Accurately hit the bull's-eye and kill with one blow.

The atmosphere became awkward for a while, and the two remained silent, each having their own concerns.

Just when An Hongdou thought that this topic would end unhappy, Xia An finally spoke.

"Then move before noon tomorrow."

“Check out on time and refund the deposit.”

His tone was as natural as discussing what to have for dinner, and his eyes were so calm that no emotion could be seen.

Waiting for these two words always has a long and lonely taste when read.

There is a hint of hopelessness in the words.

In most cases where there is nothing we can do, we choose to wait without exception, like the last straw grasped by a drowning man.

Knowing that the status quo cannot be changed, it is the last ray of warm comfort in the cold night.

And no matter how bright the light is shot out and travels through the huge space-time, it cannot avoid the fate of hiding in the darkness.

It's like the tourists on the beach who learned that a strong typhoon brought a tsunami were about to flee in panic and desperately, but were told to wait for the rescue plane in place.

This cruel choice between death and hope is really not comfort, but more like torture and despair.

Nevertheless, we wait all the time.

The office workers waited for the bus every morning in the morning light, the athletes waited anxiously for the game, the grandmother beating clothes on the shore was waiting for the grandfather returning from fishing, and Solvis sitting on the shore of Lake Saint Sea was waiting for Paul who returned from stepping on the moon. Cl, Santiago is still waiting for his big marlin and dilapidated fishing boat in the dream, and the unique rose on the planet is waiting for the boy who loves her like his life.

In life, everyone is busy waiting for what belongs to them.Even if it is often not as good as it was when we first met.

Young people are always impulsive, walking in the thorns without a cry of pain, only relying on enthusiasm and enthusiasm. Looking back suddenly, the endless time slowly passing through the fingers is finally indulged in the cycle of expectation and despair. In the huge barrenness that seems to have passed away.

As a result, as we mature, we begin to learn to weigh the pros and cons and calculate the gains and losses, and then we no longer concentrate on waiting and are no longer careful.

And there are always some people who are stubborn, unwilling to believe or give in, and continue to walk on the bank of the upstream river with their necks stuck. Their stubbornness makes people feel distressed, so God is merciful, and reality gave her a resounding slap.

Just like Xia An, she couldn't escape her desperate fate after all.

Waiting stubbornly for Wang Junkai for 7 years, the years have not changed, but the ending is that time has passed and circumstances have changed.

The Spring and Autumn Periods come and go together, and when they leave, they return together in peace.

But yes, things are different.

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