midsummer restlessness

Wang Junkai arrived at the agreed place long in advance. He chose a quiet and remote corner, and through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, he could see the busy people coming and going on the street in the evening.

This time is catching up with the peak hours of commuting, and the streets are crowded with people. Every time the red street lights change, the crowds at both ends of the road are shuttled and exchanged.

I can't remember the last time I waited for someone quietly like this. Looking back carefully, it seems that I was the one who was waited for in more cases.

That's the case for Xia An.

Every date in memory is that she is waiting for her long overdue self.

She never complains.

She seems to be very good at waiting.

Naturally, Wang Junkai never thought about what it was like to snuggle up with her during those countless times of waiting.

And who knows when all of this became a habit over time, and he even took it for granted to erase the last remaining bit of guilt after being late.

The only thing he remembered was that every time he arrived in a hurry, she always greeted him with her crooked eyes and her heartless smile.

It turned out that during those times when I was left in a corner, I was treated so tenderly and tolerantly by her. She carefully maintained their relationship like reaching out to hold a thin candle in the cold wind. It's just that Wang Junkai didn't understand these things at the time.

He saw Xia An submerged in the crowd after get off work, with a slightly hunched back, her long hair blown by the evening wind, making her look disheveled. It was clearly early autumn, but she was still wearing that old blue and yellow plaid scarf.

She walked closer and closer in her direction, and the tired expression on her face became clearer and clearer. Wang Junkai's throat suddenly became dry, and his chest suddenly felt sore and uncomfortable.

Sitting across from him, Xia An glanced at the menu briefly, ordered a glass of boiled water, then took off the scarf around his neck, looked at him with apologetic eyes, "You must have waited a long time."

"It's okay." Wang Junkai smiled, "Were you anxious when you were waiting for me?"

Xia An was stunned for a moment, and it took him a while to understand what he meant, "It's okay, it's been too long and I can't remember clearly."

She straightened the hair beside her ear, glanced around him looking for something, "You want me to come and get something."

"Oh, you left this behind." Wang Junkai took out a pen from his pocket—a new black signature pen, "It's time to return it to its original owner."

Xia An had mixed feelings in her heart, she forced a smile, took it over and thanked her.

The atmosphere suddenly cooled down, and both of them fell silent. Wang Junkai curled up his fingers, made up his mind and was about to open his mouth. Seeing Xia An's hesitant to speak, he smiled, "You go ahead."

Xia An nodded, brushed her bangs in embarrassment, and said slowly, "I'm going back to Melbourne. Tomorrow's flight."

Xia An lowered her eyes, and Wang Junkai couldn't detect any expression related to her. Her hands were crossed to hold the water glass, and the small lines on her fingers could be seen clearly on the transparent glass.

"The magazine called me back to do a column. At the latest, the end of this month will start to prepare the materials after the field trip, so... I haven't had time to tell you that Han Han's wedding may not be in time."

Wang Junkai was stunned for a while, he didn't know what kind of expression he had at the moment, he gritted his teeth tightly to calm himself down, but the soreness in his jaw all stimulated his nerves, he shrugged, Pretending to be relaxed, he asked, "Are you coming back?"

"Do you want me to come back?" Xia An asked back almost at the same time as he finished speaking.

"I—" Wang Junkai was at a loss for words, and his brain told himself accurately that he wanted her to come back, he even hoped that she would not leave at all, but his mouth was a few beats slower.

He has always been the kind of person whose brains are faster than his mouth.

However, during the few seconds of his habitual hesitation, Xia An smiled softly, and said before him, "It doesn't matter anymore."

"What Killer means is that he wants to send me on a field trip to collect data. In fact, it's a global trip at public expense. It doesn't sound bad, and I have no reason to refuse, so—"

She paused, her voice was calm, "I guess I won't come back again."

She rubbed the black signature pen in her hand, looked up at Wang Junkai, her eyes were covered with a thin layer of mist at some point, "I will take this pen with me, thank you."

Xia An said this with a smile and gentleness, but Wang Junkai's ears felt as if his heart was being stabbed. The psychological pain spread to his physical body. He felt that the air he breathed in his lungs hurt him.

Wang Junkai frowned lightly, those beautiful eyes were covered with fine mist, and a thin layer reflected her shadow.

He opened his mouth, and his voice was as light as gossamer, as if there was nothing there.

"sorry."

He looked at Xia An with a serious expression and sincere words.

It seemed that he was really apologizing to Xia An.

Everything around her became familiar, just like at the graduation reunion that year, he looked at her so seriously, he said, you want to be happy.

But now, what he said was, I'm sorry.

In Xia An's memory, Wang Junkai rarely said these three words to her.

When they were dating, most of the quarrels between the two were because Xia An took the initiative to show weakness to coax him.

Even if Wang Junkai would give in occasionally, he just rubbed her hair and took the initiative to get close to her as a gesture of apology.

Today Wang Junkai finally opened his mouth to say sorry, but she felt an invisible hand pushing him further.

"Don't tell me you're sorry. Feelings are what you love and what I like. You have no obligation or need to be responsible for me."

Xia An tried her best to make herself look more relaxed, but frustratedly found that it was really difficult to do.

She sighed heavily, "I understand you, you already have a stable life, the extra is always me."

"Counting up from graduating in 07 to now, we have known each other for ten years."

Xia An seemed to be counting carefully, then nodded affirmatively, and raised her nose, "It's really a meaningful number." She smiled, tears fell down suddenly, she sniffed, Gritting his teeth, he swallowed back the tears. "After breaking up, I actually regretted it. You asked me if I had a goal that day. I said that I couldn't wait for anything, but I was actually thinking about it. I just thought, I have been waiting for so many years Now, why is it so short of time?"

"But I forgot, I am 25 years old this year, and Han Han, who is my age, is going to get married this year."

She pursed her lips and wiped her tears fiercely with the back of her hand, "I understand now that there are some things, even if you wait for a lifetime, you still won't be able to wait in the end."

Xia An took a deep breath with a tired tone.

"So, Wang Junkai, I just wait for you to be 30 years old. Before your 30th birthday, you should be what you are."

"I mean, I can't wait any longer."

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