passenger

"Sorry to take the liberty to ask for leave for you today." Shi Chongshan sat on the sofa in the lounge of the oncology department, and motioned for Qiao Hao to sit down too.

"It's nothing, as long as Dongdong is fine." Qiao Hao sat down, feeling a little uneasy for some reason.

"You know, before you came today, Dongdong didn't let anyone approach him, he ignored anyone who spoke, and the record couldn't be done."

"He was terrified. After all, a living person around him left in such a tragic way."

"Yes." Shi Chongshan nodded, "However, I am very grateful to you. I believe that you are different from others to Dongdong. Although I do not agree with the relationship between the same sex, Dongdong is mine. Son, I have no other choice."

"What do you want to say?" Qiao Hao asked Shi Chongshan directly, but the expression and tone of the other party made him uneasy.

"I don't know how deep your feelings for Dongdong are. I just hope you can accept what I'm saying now." Shi Chongshan sighed and looked at Qiao Hao, as if testing his reaction, even though he hadn't given it yet. out any clues.

"Please speak directly." Qiao Hao frowned, and closed his eyes. The room was very quiet, and the air seemed to be stagnant. He didn't know what Shi Chongshan was going to tell him.

"We...have something to hide about Dongdong's condition."

Qiao Hao raised his head eagerly.

"His tumor is not oligodendroglioma." Shi Chongshan paused, and it seemed that what he was about to say was also difficult for him. "It is glioblastoma, grade four, and we have been lying to him that it is." Shaozhi said that the tumor can slowly shrink with chemotherapy... His tumor grows in the brainstem, and almost no domestic hospital dared to accept this operation. I have been contacting doctors who can operate for this period of time."

Shi Chongshan said, raised his head slightly, and took a deep breath.The young man in front of him was looking at him incredulously, his eyes flushed with bewildered face.

"I didn't mean to lie to him, and I don't want to lie to you, but what the patient needs is hope, and I don't want him to give up on himself. You know, Dongdong has always been negative, and the relationship between him and me is not harmonious. It was even against me. I had been persuading him to undergo surgery before, and he resisted in various ways. But at that time, I didn’t actually get in touch with a doctor who was really qualified for the surgery. Last week, I finally found Chicago through a friend. There is a doctor there who is an authority on glioblastoma, he read Dongdong's information and expressed his willingness to operate on him..."

"What about the risks of surgery?" Qiao Hao interrupted Shi Chongshan, and finally asked.

"We need to have a craniotomy before we can determine the follow-up of the operation, but," Shi Chongshan unconsciously clenched the armrest of the sofa, "Dongdong's condition has begun to deteriorate during this period, and chemotherapy has no effect on him. With surgery, he may not even have the chance to have a craniotomy."

"So, you want me to help you persuade him to have an operation?" Qiao Hao asked in a low voice. He felt as if someone had poured a basin of ice water on him, and his thinking became much duller.

"I think, please continue to hide his illness from him, and then persuade him to go to the United States for surgery."

"You still haven't told me how risky the operation is! You have lied to him for so long, how do I know if what you are telling the truth is true! Maybe you just want him to leave here!" Qiao Hao stood up, he suddenly felt a little nervous. Excited, and would rather believe that Shi Chongshan's purpose of saying this now is just to separate him and Shi Dongdong.

Although, they are not together.

"I won't joke about the life and death of my only son." Shi Chongshan sat on the sofa without moving, he just raised his head and looked at Qiao Hao, "You are a doctor, you should understand the danger of malignant tumors of this level, he does have He may die on the operating table, but if he does not undergo surgery, he will have no life at all."

"Shouldn't you ask Dongdong what he thinks? Should others make decisions for him about his future?" Qiao Hao said with a trembling voice, the resistance was overwhelming, and he found that He was not willing to accept anything Shi Chongshan said at all.

"Yes! For ordinary people, the future should be decided by themselves, but Dongdong is a patient! Do you dare to take such a risk? Can you guarantee that he will not become the second Yuan Gang after he knows the truth? You are Doctor, you should know how many family members of cancer patients are hiding the truth from them! Hope can become a belief that supports a person, right? And he relies on you! He will definitely listen to what you say!" Shi Chongshan stood up with an old voice Excited like never before, he held Qiao Hao's arms, then slowly bent his knees and knelt down on one leg with difficulty, "I beg you, I have never been a qualified father. My wife has made irreparable mistakes, I hesitated when I should operate on her...so Dongdong hates me, but I don't want to lose my only son because of this...I don't want to lose him!"

Qiao Hao was stunned by Shi Chongshan's actions, but in his heart, what shocked him even more was Shi Chongshan's last sentence - I don't want to lose him.

Will there really be a day when he will never see Shi Dongdong again?But, I just kissed him... One day, will that temperature become icy cold?

Qiao Hao stood blankly, forgetting to support the people on the ground. His gaze blankly swept to the white hair on top of Shi Chongshan's head, and it took a long time before he gradually felt the despair that came from being a father.

"I don't want to lose him either." Qiao Hao's body went limp, and he fell heavily on the sofa.

"I can see your intentions for him. If you want, you can go to the United States with Dongdong. You can continue to encourage him and give him courage." Shi Chongshan stood up on the sofa, and he held Qiao Hao's hands , the tone was almost begging, "Of course, I know it's selfish to say this, but I will arrange everything for you, and when Dongdong's condition improves, I can find you a job in a better hospital in China..."

"Don't talk about it! I'm not here for this!" Qiao Hao pushed Shi Chongshan away. He was in a state of confusion at the moment. Just accepting the truth of Shi Dongdong's condition made him at a loss. He really didn't want to listen to Shi Chongshan's prescription at this time. the so-called conditions.

He just hoped that Shi Dongdong could live.

"Okay, okay, I know Dongdong didn't misunderstand the person, and I'm very glad that you can treat him so sincerely." Shi Chongshan couldn't help nodding, "Then, please adjust your emotions well. After Dongdong's situation stabilizes, I hope you You can persuade him. Really, I appreciate you."

Qiao Hao lowered his head and slowly supported his forehead with both hands, "I understand, please go out now, I want to be alone for a while."

I don't know how long I stayed alone in the lounge, and Qiao Hao didn't even realize when Shi Chongshan left. His mind was in chaos, and the only words that flashed repeatedly were "glioblastoma", "grade four", " Surgery"... He actually had countless opportunities to learn the truth before, but the resistance in his heart kept him from asking Shi Dongdong's doctor for more.He wishfully believed that Shi Dongdong was only in the early stages of cancer, and that as long as the chemotherapy was over, that person would be able to live like a normal person. He even comforted himself that even 20 or [-] years would be enough for them.And now, all that time is a luxury.

Then, the door of the lounge was pushed open by a nurse, who said to him, "Doctor Qiao, Shi Dongdong is awake."

Qiao Hao rushed to the ward, but this time, when he saw Shi Dongdong, he suddenly had the urge to cry, and he needed to suppress it to control it.

"You said, you will stay here with me." Shi Dongdong lay on the bed, breathing a little unsteadily.

"Don't be unreasonable, I have to go to the bathroom sometime." Qiao Hao pulled the corner of his mouth with difficulty, and forced a smile.

"No, what I mean is...you don't have to stay here with me, don't you...don't go to work today?" Shi Dongdong said, his eyebrows furrowed, his face wrinkled into a ball, and then he let out a soft snort.

Qiao Hao ran over nervously, pressed close to Shi Dongdong's body and asked, "What's wrong! Does it hurt?"

"It's okay, it's just a puff...why are you so nervous?" Shi Dongdong took a few breaths before looking at Qiao Hao who was leaning in front of him.

"I'm afraid you won't feel well. Also, I'm resting today." Qiao Hao said, straightening up immediately, he was afraid that Shi Dongdong could see his red eyes clearly.

"The disaster will last for a thousand years, don't worry, I'm fine." Shi Dongdong's hands slowly came out from the thin blanket, as if his strength was limited, it took him a long time to completely get rid of the blanket, and he barely raised his right hand and pressed it on his forehead. There were blue veins on the hand, and it was very thin.

Qiao Hao turned around and took a desperate breath.Fortunately, the nurse who changed the dressing came in with a cart, replaced Shi Dongdong's almost finished IV, and checked the infusion port on his chest again.

"You look much better. Sure enough, Dr. Qiao is very cooperative with you." Before the nurse left, she bent down and said softly to Shi Dongdong with a smile.

Shi Dongdong closed his eyes and raised the corners of his mouth, but did not answer the nurse's words.

"Have the police left? I don't seem to have made a record yet..." There were only two people left in the room again, Shi Dongdong sighed and said to Qiao Hao who was sitting by the bed with his head bowed.

"No hurry, it's not too late for you to be more stable and take notes, don't be too reluctant."

Shi Dongdong nodded. He moved his eyes to the ceiling and asked Qiao Hao, "Is that person really gone?"

This question made Qiao Hao feel trembling. In fact, the bald head said a lot in front of him yesterday, and he even thought about teaching the bald head a lesson... But that man is indeed no longer in this world today.As long as he thinks of people dying like a lamp going out, Qiao Hao feels scared.He looked at Shi Dongdong with fascination, he was afraid that he would also become nothingness like a extinguished lamp in the blink of an eye.

However, Shi Dongdong didn't see his gaze, he was still looking straight at the ceiling, and said slowly, "At first, I was admitted to this hospital because Chen Zhi happened to send me here when I passed out... Later, I didn't expect to be in this hospital... I met you here. My father asked me to live in a VIP ward, but I chose to live in a general ward. You said that I wasted medical resources and didn't understand other people's sufferings, but in fact, I didn't come here entirely to fight with my father. You I don't know how lonely a sick person is."

"I'm sorry..." Qiao Hao propped his forehead with his hands, trying to cover his eyes.

And Shi Dongdong continued, "The ward was really lively at the beginning. Uncle Liu was in a daze all day long, but his wife was always very funny and would tell us interesting stories about the uncle when he was young. His little granddaughter also Very cute, grandpa is only allowed to die during winter and summer vacations, not during his own class, every weekend they take Uncle Liu home, they will put a doll on the bed and cover it with a quilt, as if the old man is still sleeping there. Yuan Gang is also an interesting person, although his words are always a bit harsh, but he will tell us what painkillers are the most effective, how to control the time to maximize the effect of the medicine without wasting... He always scolds his ex-wife in front of us , in fact, he should love her very much, because every time he is sick and groggy, he will call a woman's name. I think it should be his ex-wife's name. He also told me that his ex-wife left him That's right, because you don't have to suffer along with it."

"Don't think about others." Shi Dongdong kept saying, but Qiao Hao only hoped that he could calm down and have a good rest.

"It's not others. They are all patients like me. They know how much pain I have when I am in pain. I can also empathize with their feelings after taking painkillers. The nostalgia for the past, the helplessness of the present, and the fear of the future... ...Only people with the same disease can understand. I don't want to be locked in a single ward alone, they make me feel that I am not the only one in the world." Shi Dongdong said, and finally turned his head to Qiao Hao, "But now , but I have to accept the reality that people like me leave..."

"You are different from him. Whether it is illness or life, you will live a very good and long life!" Qiao Hao said anxiously, his voice raised a bit.

Shi Dongdong didn't speak, but just looked deeply at Qiao Hao.

Such silent gaze made Qiao Hao flustered inexplicably. Even an hour ago, he could continue to speak with confidence, but at this moment, now that he himself is also in a state of confusion, he really can't do it. Be calm.If possible, he just wanted to put aside all considerations and worries, hug the person on the bed and cry bitterly—why did God choose him, and let him suffer such inhuman pain and unknown fate?

"I'm so tired..." Shi Dongdong said softly.

"Then go to sleep for a while, you haven't slept for a long time." Qiao Hao hurriedly responded, he took a hand beside Shi Dongdong and folded his hands.

Shi Dongdong nodded obediently, but just closed and opened his eyes, "You really don't have to stay with me all the time, you should go back and rest."

"Okay, I'll leave when you fall asleep." Qiao Hao raised his lips, unwilling to go against his will.

Finally, Shi Dongdong didn't say anything anymore, and the expression on his face with his eyes closed slowly relaxed.

Qiao Hao sat by the bed for a long time, until Shi Dongdong's hand, which he had been holding all the time, fell down because of his trance, and he didn't know that Shi Dongdong had fallen asleep.

It's just that the hand that was hanging down caused him an inexplicable throbbing pain in his heart. He couldn't help holding that hand up again carefully. The temperature of the hand was slightly cool, and the fingers were bent meekly. Because of the thinness, the knuckles looked a bit Prominent... He leaned over and felt a cool temperature on his lips.

When he walked out of the ward, the corridor was no longer as noisy as when he came in the morning. The cordon had been removed at some point, and the corridor seemed empty. Qiao Hao felt that he was a little top-heavy. This day was more unreal than any other day before. Holding on to the wall, I even felt some tinnitus.

"Qiao Hao!" Someone called his name behind him.

Qiao Hao had no choice but to turn around, and then saw Molly.

"It's because of Shi Dongdong, right?" Molly stood behind him, but her voice seemed to come from far away.

Qiao Hao couldn't grasp the meaning of her words for a moment.

"You rejected me because of Shi Dongdong, right? You...you are not ordinary classmates at all, are you?" Molly bit her lip, her eyes full of sorrow.

"It's just what you think," Qiao Hao finally understood, he smiled feebly, and stood up straight, "I love him."

"How can it be?!..." Molly didn't expect Qiao Hao's confession, and looked at him in disbelief.

Ignoring the girl's shock, Qiao Hao walked past her. He really didn't want to explain anything to others.

It doesn't matter, there is nothing that can be called big now, and the person he loves doesn't know how long he can live.

So, what else is not allowed?