to deep

After seeing Shen Qiao coming in, Zheng Yaoguo's eyes lit up instantly.Shen Qiao didn't dare to look at that gaze, she just called out in a low voice: "Director Zheng."

Zheng Yaoguo smiled and pointed to the chair beside him: "Sit."

Shen Qiao sat down according to his words, not daring to look away, Zheng Yaoguo carefully looked at his eyebrows and eyes, and let out a long sigh from the bottom of his heart.

He hasn't seen Shen Qiao for nearly 20 years.When we first met, he said that he was born with a movie face, and even though time had made him raise his cheekbones and sunken his cheeks, this face was still so appropriate, it was too good-looking.

Pushing back another 20 years, he will still criticize him from his own standpoint, but these years, after gradually understanding what he has experienced, the words he once said suddenly have the meaning of not eating meat: No one can doubt that Shen Qiao once really wanted to be the best actor, and even now it is his dream, but the situation back then, and the current situation, no one can stand in front of the camera in his situation .

"I've always wanted to say sorry to you, Shen Qiao. If I don't say it, I might run out of time." Zheng Yaoguo said in a low voice, "I shouldn't have said that about you back then. I know you have difficulties, but I don't care at all."

"No." Shen Qiao shook her head, "Director Zheng, I am the one who broke the contract."

It was me who failed your expectations and cultivation, and I can't even forgive myself.

"It's not like this!" Zheng Yaoguo suddenly said loudly.As soon as he got emotional, the electrocardiogram fluctuated violently. Zhao Wenyan, who was originally guarding the door, immediately opened the door when he heard the siren: "Teacher------"

"Get out!" Panting, Zheng Yaoguo said, "I'm talking to Shen Qiao, you and the doctor don't come in."

It took Shen Qiao a long time to come out of the ward. He looked very strange, and he was in a daze.

Zhao Wenyan was waiting for him outside the door.Seeing him coming out, Zhao Wenyan was about to ask something, but Shen Qiao took the first step to signal him not to speak.

They are one meter apart.Shen Qiao raised her head slowly, and said in a low voice, "Is it true that you drank a bottle of wine before going to France?"

Zhao Wenyan instantly realized what Zheng Yaoguo had said to him. He opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say.

"You committed suicide for me! You knew you were going to die!" Shen Qiao's voice rose for a moment, but then fell quickly, "You committed suicide for me...you almost died... ...I do not know anything......"

At this time, as long as he stepped forward and hugged him, everything he had dreamed of over the years could come true—but at this time he suddenly hesitated.

He looked at Shen Qiao, his gaze was so sad and self-reproaching that it almost pierced into his eyes---but it was obviously not like this.

The person who should blame himself and feel guilty should never be him.

An unprecedented courage filled his heart. He held Shen Qiao's shoulders and said word by word, "I'm not for you, Shen Qiao."

Shen Qiao was stunned. He subconsciously looked into Zhao Wenyan's eyes. There was struggle and pain in them, but there was more reason and firmness that was almost indifferent.

"I'm doing it for myself." Zhao Wenyan said, the thought of shrinking back was born in his heart, and even stronger, the courage to tell him the truth still firmly controlled his tongue, "You don't know what I am like people. I may love you, but I love myself more."

People can always understand a lot in the blink of an eye.He couldn't deny that his love for Shen Qiao was mixed with selfishness, but likewise, selfishness couldn't change his love.

He clearly understands his jealousy towards Shen Qiao, he is jealous that he has relatives who love him, he is jealous that he has a superior family background, he is always jealous that he can always meet appreciation and affirmation, and even more jealous that he only treats all honors and favors. Delighted rather than flattered—he knew he deserved the accolades, but he dared not think so.

He is the child of corrupt officials and political prisoners, and he has understood this since he was very young. Those children may not understand the meaning of those words, but they know that they can never go wrong when they say this about him and his parents.

Dressed beast.Garbage scum.There are no more than these two categories.

Huo Qiyu also said that his father was a scum who not only ruined the country's wealth, but also implicated him.He agrees with his point of view, but not quite why.After all, the people and the country are too far away from him, and discrimination and violence are too close to him.

So when Zheng Yaoguo told him that as a director, he can serve the country as well as politics and business, what he thought was, what does this have to do with him?

He only knows that being a director is the best path for him to take. He is talented and has the contacts and capital that Zheng Yaoguo gave him. He can be respected by this profession, but other paths may not work.

If he was allowed to choose by himself, he might also take the path of director, but from the beginning, he lost the qualification to choose.

He was engaged in this profession, but he did not love it.

He spurned his weakness in his heart, but walked more resolutely than anyone else.He greedily learns everything related to being a director on the set and at school, and watches movies like a madman. Going to a foreign country to study may make others feel reluctant to part with his hometown, but he doesn't care at all.

But he met Shen Qiao.

He is as talented as he is, and he is unfair because of original sin, even their choice-to prove themselves harder than others-is the same.

Although what Shen Qiao was upset about was the arrogance of the white people and the contempt for the Asians, what he was upset about was that he was pushed out of the shelves and there was no way out of his life.

In that night, he found his own kind, a person who was like himself but not quite himself—he thought his life was completely gloomy, but in Shen Qiao's world, the injustice of reality did not stop him from chasing after him. In the footsteps of dreams, he is cold-hearted to those who discriminate against him, but he is also willing to dedicate himself to being good to others-such as him.

He secretly kissed Shen Qiao on Christmas Eve.At that time, he didn't know whether he rejected homosexuality, whether he liked himself or not, but what he thought at that time was that as long as he was by his side, as long as he always regarded him as a friend, he could keep that light , Accompany Shen Qiao to fulfill his dream.

If he is not for himself, is it okay for Shen Qiao?

He wants to see him go to the top, so he'll be happy too.At first, he actually thought so.

But later, when he knew that Shen Qiao also liked him, and when Shen Qiao was willing to come to China for him, everything changed.

He is getting greedy.Until the end, he couldn't see that Shen Qiao was good, but he was so bad.

He thought he belonged to him forever.But he eventually left him.

When he was a child, among the children, some people called him a disaster star. In the hearts of the children, that was the most correct truth.

His parents were shot, and his foster relatives didn't stay long. Huo Qiyu brought him home, but he also went to the United States not long after, and there was no news for six or seven years.

Whoever he gets close to, likes, or even just stays with, that person will abandon him and leave.

He thought Shen Qiao was an exception, but it was not.

All thoughts were lost, and the next thing he thought of was revenge: he took out the bottle of wine that Shen Qiao had drunk, and drank it down.He knew that he might die, but he didn't care at all. What kind of punishment would such an ending be for Shen Qiao.

How painful and sad he will be, he thought about it, but didn't care.

He resented Shen Qiao for abandoning him, but he never thought about what his life would be like if it wasn't for Shen Qiao, if he hadn't met Shen Qiao?

He'll be bound by that heart until he dies, and maybe go mad before he dies.He was too bright, too dazzling, dragged him into his life in the most outrageous way, and then asked him if he would go with him.

How could he not want to?Originally, even if Shen Qiao didn't love him and was unwilling to use his light to warm him, he sincerely hoped that Shen Qiao would get better and better.

God loves the world, and I love us.

I love you and I want us to be together.

But Shen Qiao, the love you should have is not the perfection you think, but the true love that is perfect.

There is a semi-circular terrace outside the hospital. Shen Qiao leaned against the railing and suddenly sneered, "So you always thought that I loved you back then, but you didn't love me that much, so you have to pay it back?"

"Yes." Zhao Wenyan didn't deny it, "I can't bear to live without you, I just hope you are mine alone. That's not love."

That's not love.It is the desire to possess, the instinctive yearning for beauty, distorted by time into morbid paranoia, disregarding others, and only remembering oneself.

Selfish people don't have love at all.

Shen Qiao didn't know what to say for a moment, he held on to the railing, still feeling that the world was spinning.

This feeling is very similar to when he received that call 18 years ago.All his cognitions have been subverted, and the happiness he thought was false, and now, Zhao Wenyan is also telling him that he doesn't love him.

"Why did you tell me?" Shen Qiao looked at him, the tears in the corners of her eyes trembled and were about to fall, "Wen Yan, I always thought that you were the only one who loved me in those 20 years."

His sister and brother-in-law are still alive, Xiaolin has not experienced parting and hurt, his adoptive father and brother are sincerely good to him, he loves someone, he is so kind, loves him that way, it is only because of fate that they are not together .

Now, these are all fake.

"I'm sorry." Zhao Wenyan said. He wanted to hold Shen Qiao's hand, but Shen Qiao subconsciously avoided it. He could only whisper from a distance of one meter away, "I owe you, give me a chance, I can Love you like you love me."

"No." Shen Qiao shook her head, "There are too many people who owe me, I used to care about it, but later I thought, it's not worth it for me to sort out all of them. And..."

Shen Qiao looked at him, his eyes were ashamed after being completely disappointed, he had never looked at him like this before.

"You don't owe me anything." He said slowly, "but what I owe you, I don't want to pay back."