A psychopath has a crush on me

"Apei..." Luo Changzhou raised his hand and placed it lightly on Yu Pei's shoulder. He wanted to comfort Yu Pei, but he didn't know how to comfort him.

Even if it is really like what Yu Pei said, he can say a lot of beautiful love words, but in front of Yu Pei, he is always clumsy.

When Yu Pei smiled, he would follow Yu Pei and raise the corners of his lips slightly. Yu Pei frowned sadly, and he would also be upset. Yu Pei's every move could easily affect all his emotions, but he didn't care about it. Helpless, it seems that every slight tremor in Yu Pei's world is like a landslide to him, which cannot be ignored.

But Yu Pei stopped crying after taking two deep breaths. He went ashore with Luo Changzhou and sat on the long wooden chair by the swimming pool.

A gust of cool wind blew by, and the rustling of leaves sounded, and a few orange-red leaves fell from the sugar maple tree behind the wooden chair. They circled twice in the air and landed at Yu Pei's feet. Yu Pei hung his head , touched the leaf with his toes, and after a few seconds of silence, he said to Luo Changzhou: "I was ill once."

Hearing this, Luo Changzhou raised his eyes and glanced at Yu Pei. He didn't say anything, but reached out and took Yu Pei's hand, holding all his fingers in his palm, and squeezed them tightly.

The temperature on Luo Changzhou's body came from the hands they held. Perhaps this strength gave Yu Pei some sense of security. He raised his head, looked at a maple tree in the distance and said, "That disease is called Cotard. Syndrome, it can be regarded as a type of schizophrenia, and the reason why I have this disease is because of my mother."

But Yu Pei didn't tell Luo Changzhou what Yu's mother had done to him in detail, because the source of all these tragedies was because of Tranquility Lan's illness.

But who can blame this?

Some mental illnesses are hereditary. Tranquility Lan and he are just the ones who were unfortunately inherited. If they can choose a healthy life, who would choose to be sick?

He just used an understatement to describe his mother-child relationship with Tranquility Lan: "She is also sick, much more serious than me, so she doesn't know me and doesn't think I'm her child."

In just a few sentences, there are only dozens of words, but only those who have experienced it can understand how many difficult and sad and hard-to-recall painful pasts are contained in it.

Although Luo Changzhou had never participated in Yu Pei's life in the first 17 years and knew nothing about his past, he did know that Yu Pei had suspended his studies for half a year and was treated in the hospital before returning to school to continue his classes.

Some things don't need to be fully stated, only a little clue can be roughly guessed.

And Yu's mother's influence on Yu Pei is so great that he can be so depressed for a whole day just seeing her, which shows how deeply Yu's mother has caused him.

But the scars left by these injuries often don't scab on the flesh, but they lurk in the blood of people like acne, invisible and difficult to heal.

"I actually don't have any feelings for her anymore." Yu Pei blinked, and his tone was a little light when he said this, he didn't know if he had really let go or was just trying to persuade himself, "I was just thinking... Will I become like her in the future..."

Both hateful and pathetic.

Some doctors believe that mental illness cannot be completely cured because damaged nerves cannot be repaired.Once a person has a mental problem, it proves that his nerves have been damaged, and those damages can never be repaired, so mental diseases are so difficult to cure, even if they are cured for a while, there will be a high recurrence rate in the future risk.

After Yu's mother fell ill, didn't she treat her?She must have been treated and struggled, but it couldn't be cured.

Yu Pei is living a very happy life now, with his brother who loves him, the company of his best friend, and every day and night with Luo Changzhou, he is a person who does not have much sense of security, even if the doctor announces He has recovered and can be discharged from the hospital, Yu Pei is still worried about whether he will relapse one day, and the appearance of Yu's mother has completely brought out the worries in his heart.

Because he has obtained it, he is even more afraid of losing the happiness he has now.

Tranquil Lan brought him the greatest fear, because of illness, even the children who should be loved can become strangers - this can be the case for relatives who are connected by blood, but what about other people who are not bound by blood?

"Mental illness is hereditary... I have already been ill once, what if I get sick again in the future?" Yu Pei said in a daze, as if talking to himself.

He hadn't talked about these things with Luo Changzhou before, but sooner or later he would tell them. There were many cases of schizophrenic patients who refused to recognize their relatives and killed their relatives and friends when they became ill.

Before a girl gets married, her parents will tell her to know the family medical history of the man. If she has a genetic disease or a mental illness, she must never marry, and the same is true for the man.

Even if he and Luo Changzhou don't need to worry about the problems of their offspring, his illness is still like a time bomb, which will explode violently at some point.

Back then, Father Yu married Tranquility Lan even though he knew that the Ning family had a history of hereditary mental illness for the sake of the family marriage?And he himself had asthma, but he didn't get any better. He and Tranquility Lan gave birth to Yu Pei, who seemed to have gathered all the dross, a child with asthma and mental illness.

Sometimes Yu Pei couldn't help secretly thinking that if he hadn't met Luo Changzhou, then his life was destined to be a tragedy from birth.But after meeting Luo Changzhou, what if he gets sick again in the future and becomes a person like Tranquil Lan?

Luo Changzhou quietly listened to Yu Pei talking about what he had been holding back in his heart until he was silent and lowered his eyelashes again, then he said softly: "I have lived happily ever since I was a child. Eldest sister, loving parents, even if I am poor in studies, I can live a life without worrying about food and clothing. But I am not very happy."

After speaking, Luo Changzhou smiled to himself, as if he felt that his words were a bit ostentatious.

But the fact is true. Sometimes a life that is too good often makes people lose their fighting spirit, lose their goals, and live a mediocre life. The most important thing is that they don't know what they want.

Just like Yu Pei was not happy before, so he knows what he wants, he wants the love of his family, and someone who loves him.

However, everything needs to be set off to know its preciousness. If a person has not experienced hardships, he will not know how precious things he owns. Without the setting off of pain, how can he know happiness?

And Luo Changzhou lived too happily, so if he wanted something else, he would easily be misunderstood as dissatisfaction by others. He had too many auras, so naturally he couldn't tell whether the people who approached him were because of those auras. Or because of himself.

So he is lonely because no one can understand him.

Otherwise, how can there be so many winners in life who seem to have everything, but shout all day long that they are not living happily, because they can't find what they want most, so the more dispensable things, the more they complement each other? How sad.

"Many times, I feel like I am a lonely star. In the vast universe, there are countless stars casting bright light on me, attracting me to chase them, but the distance between us is so Far away, I will never be able to get close to another star in my life." Luo Changzhou said, raising his hand to gently stroke Yu Pei's hair, and gently pressed his head against his shoulder. "Until I met Ah Pei."

These things that Yu Pei is worried about are actually not only about Yu Pei alone, but also things that Luo Changzhou should worry about, because he likes Yu Pei, so he is destined to worry and be happy together with him.

But it's also because I like it, so people feel that these worries are necessary, and there is nothing worth resenting.

"I used to have such a good life, but because I haven't met you, I always feel that my life is missing a part and is incomplete." Luo Changzhou embraced Yu Pei, "Only when I am with you, I feel that my life is incomplete." The void in the soul is filled, even if it comes with a lot to worry about."

"Because I have always felt that everything that happens in this world must have its meaning. If it is good, it is excellent; if it is bad, it is on the road to excellence. So even if this meaning cannot be found in the short term, but it It must exist."

Luo Changzhou pressed Yu Pei's shoulders, looked into his eyes, and said slowly in a low voice: "You have encountered too many bad things because your road to excellence is a bit long, but you are destined to become an excellent person." people."

"There will be another excellent target."

Luo Changzhou hooked the corners of his lips, and lightly rubbed his thumbs under Yu Pei's eyes. The place where there were tears was now clean and nothing.He leaned down and gently kissed the corner of Yu Pei's lips.

One touch and no depth.

But at the moment of getting along, their hearts and souls are extremely close.

Yu Pei kept looking at Luo Changzhou, looking into his eyes, he saw the blue in Luo Changzhou's eyes magnified in front of his eyes, and then gradually moved away. In an instant, he seemed to be on the verge of death again, and he couldn't breathe , Cardiac arrest, all thinking stopped a second ago.

But in the next second, his heart felt a strong beating and dull pain like being shocked by a pacemaker, and his mind was like a bright explosion in the early days of the universe, projecting a dazzling light that almost drowned him.

Yu Pei blinked, smiled, and said in a shy voice, "Changzhou, I think I don't like you anymore."

"Have you started to fall in love with me?" Luo Changzhou also smiled, and said softly with his lips on his forehead.

Yu Pei didn't speak, but just nodded.

Some people have never been able to understand what love is, and that's because they haven't met love, and you never know until it comes.

And when it comes, you will understand that love is the force that spurs and drives a person to be willing to bear a heavy burden and strive to become excellent.