lotus carp

12.

I didn't sleep all night, and I went up the mountain with my packed luggage at dawn. Aunt Meng wanted to see me off, but I declined.

I stepped slowly on the path up the mountain, every step was gentle and solemn, as if I was stepping on her heart.

you are here.I thought to myself.

you are here.I can't see you, so every eye I see here is you.

My eyes, red and swollen like walnuts, started to cry again, which hurt a little, so I didn't raise my hand to wipe it.On this deserted mountain road, I finally couldn't help the choking in my throat and burst into tears.

With tears in my eyes, I went all the way to the gate of the nunnery, and explained my purpose of coming to the little nun who guarded the nunnery.The little nun looked at me in surprise and curiosity, and led me to a large hall, where she told me to wait, and then left to find the abbot.

During this waiting time, I tidied up my somewhat messy bun, rubbed my eyes that were still wet, and wanted to put on a look of peace of mind: I heard that monks pay attention to the purity of the six roots, and see through the world of mortals and the like.However, such whitewashing is really better than nothing for me who has almost collapsed emotionally.

The little nun from before led a benevolent middle-aged nun to the hall. I knew that this was the abbot of the Lotus Nunnery. I tried my best to maintain a calm appearance and blessed her.

"Poverty nun Huijing is the abbot of this lotus nunnery. Donors don't need to be polite." Master Huijing smiled at me with a kind face, with the unique compassion of Buddhists.

"The benefactor is so sad, it must be something bad happened. The benefactor doesn't need to be too sad. The so-called success is a cycle of cause and effect. When you are at the bottom, you are often full of vitality."

"The believer is wandering all over the world, has no family, at the foot of the Lotus Mountain, and has lost her care. She only wishes to escape into Buddhism to find a life."

"Benefactor, you have not exhausted your six faculties, and your mortal relationship has not yet been resolved. A poor nun cannot shave you."

The fate of the world is not over... I kept repeating this sentence in my heart, and I only felt sad and ridiculous.Will I have any other fate?In the unknown future, let go of Ah Li, forget about Ah Li, and have an unfinished fate with someone else?If I interpret it this way, I even look down on my future self.

"The believer is willing to abandon the unresolved mortal relationship and be with the ancient Buddha of Qingdeng."

"I will introduce someone for the benefactor, and the benefactor will wait a moment." The teacher still had that detached expression, whispered a few words to the little nun beside her, and the little nun went out.

I gradually calmed down in the sound of the teacher's wooden fish, but my head was empty and I didn't know what I was thinking.Not long after, the little nun came back. She carefully supported a layman with hair and stepped over the steps of the temple gate.

I entered a state where I couldn't think even more, but my chest was throbbing more violently.

"Benefactor, someone is here. After you meet her, if you still insist on becoming a monk, I will ask her to shave your hair for you."

I watched her getting closer and closer, and looked at the face that appeared in my mind every night, and finally couldn't help rushing over and hugging her.

"I found you, Li."