almost lonely

He died suddenly from alcoholism, and died on the main road in the middle of the night. The next morning, Ning Juechen was in Chinese class and was suddenly called to claim the body.There was no funeral, and the kind policeman helped him contact the funeral home and accompany him to finish the funeral.Ning Juechen can still recall the smell of ashes in the cremation ground, and the weight of that small square box in his hand.

After returning from the funeral parlor, Xu Ye drove his parents away. The shed at the door had not been dismantled, and he sat on grandma's favorite recliner, slowly covering his face with his hands, with scalding tears between his fingers.

He said: "Juelan, if I had been at home that day, I might have been fine if I found out earlier. The doctor said it was too late to send to the hospital."

He said: "Actually, my grandma was not in good health after she fell once in the vegetable market last time, but I have never been relieved."

He said: "How can they not come back to see us once for three years, and the first thing they do when they come back is to sign that piece of paper?"

He said, "Juelan, no one will call me kid anymore."

He said: "Juelan, I don't have a grandma anymore, and I will never have a chance to treat her well."

Lu Juelan squatted down and shook his shoulder firmly: "You have done a good job."

Lu Juelan left in the evening, and Ning Juechen also went home.In the past few days, he has been secretly following Xu Ye, and he forgot to eat several times, and his stomach feels a little uncomfortable.After dinner, Ning Juechen took some medicine and went to Xu Ye's house. The light shone faintly through the crack of the half-closed door. Xu Ye sat alone in front of the Eight Immortals table to eat, and the radio was tuned to grandma's favorite channel. There was a Beijing opera that I couldn't understand.

Ning Juechen originally just wanted to watch him at the door, but the little lame tortoiseshell cat that had been feeding suddenly ran out, meowing and rubbing around his ankle vigorously.Ning Juechen couldn't stand still, and knocked open the door creaking.

Xu Ye raised his head, and Ning Juechen looked into his eyes with a guilty conscience, his voice trembling: "...Brother Ye." Xu Ye put down the bowl and walked towards him, Ning Juechen smelled the alcohol on his body, just an The parted stomach began to churn again, and every time this smell appeared before, he knew that his father had returned.

Xu Ye's face was flushed with a drunken blush, there were black and blue circles under his eyes, and his cheekbones were so thin that they protruded.He smiled imperceptibly, and reached out to touch the back of Ning Juechen's head as before: "Go back."

After Xu Ye finished speaking, he turned and went in, and slammed the door shut, Ning Juechen stood there for a long time.He felt that through this door, he would never be able to walk back to Xu Ye's side.

16 ways to keep you

Xu Ye's parents didn't stay for too long. After the ceremony, they booked their plane tickets a few days later.Xu Ye rejected their offer to transfer schools and go abroad, and insisted on staying in Jingcheng, living alone in his grandma's old house.

He hadn't been to school for three whole weeks, and finally Lu Juelan came to the door and arrested him.In Lu Juelan's words, "The door of the house is not closed. Once inside, the ground is full of bottles. That idiot sleeps on the sofa in the living room. I almost thought he drank to death." Ning Juechen lowered his head and poked the bowl with his chopsticks I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't say a word.

Lu Juelan and Xu Ye quarreled fiercely in those few days.Lu Juelan said that it's almost the end of the semester, and he will be promoted to a third grade soon. Don't you take the college entrance examination?Xu Ye said yes, I don't go to school anymore, I just don't want to take the exam.The two were arguing and even moved their hands. The neighbor's aunt came to knock on the door when she heard the movement, and almost called the police.

On Monday, Lu Juelan applied to withdraw from the experimental class and transfer to the regular class. He told Xu Ye, "From now on, I will supervise you to go to school every day. If I withdraw, I may not get recommended. If you don't go, you will be sorry for me." Right?" Xu Ye scolded him: "You have something wrong with your brain?" Lu Juelan was the first one who had only heard of kicking people in the experimental class, and who voluntarily retreated.

They are back to the state of three people in the same class.Ning Juechen felt like he had a long, long dream. The sophomore year of high school didn't seem to exist at all. He didn't go to Xu Yi's house often, he didn't chat with Xu Ye like friends, and they didn't go to Lao Liu's breakfast shop together. I have eaten tofu flower soup.

He silently watched Xu Ye and Lu Juelan go to and from school together, eat and study together. The two of them were so close that they couldn't get a third person in.

Ning Juechen made an article on reading comprehension titled "Who Is the "Small Island" in Your Life".It is about the wonders that a world-renowned navigator saw when he sailed in the Atlantic Ocean: a huge flock of birds hovered on the misty sea for a long time, singing and refusing to leave.Many birds even exhausted their energy and finally threw themselves into the endless sea without hope.It turns out that there used to be a small island here, and the migratory birds used this island as their "safety island" and foothold to rest and reorganize and accumulate strength.But this small island disappeared forever in an earthquake, and the migratory birds still flew here persistently, hovering over the old place that no longer existed, hoping that the "safety island" would appear again, until they exhausted all their strength and fell in despair. Died in the depths of the sea...

Xu Ye is the safety island that suddenly appeared in his life, giving him a place to stay and inhabit.Every time he was by Xu Ye's side, Ning Juechen landed like a passing bird flying from the far north, and the cold air in his body slowly faded away, and even the tip of his heart felt warm.

But now that the island has disappeared, Ning Juechen is still reluctant to go forward. He thinks that he may really become the kind of poor migratory bird in the story that always wanders in the same place until he exhausts all he has.

Ning Juechen has had a terrible time for more than a year, maybe that poem is right - "I could have endured the darkness / If I had never seen the sun", no one can easily let go of the longing for the warm sun and walk calmly back into the dark.

The study pressure in the third year of high school was also great, and various comprehensive examinations exposed his shortcomings in science: he was among the best in Chinese, and his composition was passed around as a model essay throughout the year; he was at the bottom in mathematics, physics and chemistry, and his test paper was full of red crosses.Feng Feng talked to him several times and asked him to work harder, otherwise he would have to choose a better three books. The most he said was "You really shouldn't choose science. You can enter the experiment at your liberal arts level. class".

Ning Juechen wrung his fingers and nodded. He knew that Xu Ye could get into the first line every time he took the big test, which was too difficult, and he couldn't catch up no matter how hard he tried.

During that time, Ning Juechen often had nightmares. He dreamed that he was doing his homework in Xu Yi's room. Every big question was so difficult that he couldn't figure it out.He went to look for Xu Ye with the paper, but there was no one in the living room, but there was a table of dishes on the Eight Immortals table, and the crucian carp soup in the middle was still bubbling.

Ning Juechen rubbed his eyes and saw Xu Ye sitting on the bench by the door, flipping his long and thin fingers up and down, skillfully stacking ingots.Ning Juechen grabbed the test paper tightly, and called him nervously, "Brother Ye?" Xu Ye turned around when he heard the sound, and the half-stacked things in his hand fell into the pile of golden ingots at his feet, and then they all burst into flames. In this way, Yi disappeared in the firelight.

Ning Juechen woke up from the fright, a layer of wet and sticky cold sweat broke out on his body, his heartbeat was fast and chaotic, and he was almost out of breath.He took out his phone to check the time, it was three o'clock in the morning, then he clicked on the text message input box and made up a message: [Brother Ye, I dreamed about you again, this time it was another bad nightmare. ]

He didn't send such a text message, but saved it in the draft box - he saved all the text messages he wanted to send to Xu Ye in the draft box, and it was almost full.

Their real text message conversation still stopped at the end of March. He sent a message that he wrote, deleted, and wrote, and finally left only the four words "Happy Birthday", and Xu Ye replied him with a polite and short "Thank you".

On the day when the college entrance examination ended, someone in the class took the lead to play at KTV.Ning Juechen didn't want to participate at first, but Lu Juelan had already reported to his family that he would not go back at night, so he had to go with him.There are no other entertainment venues around here, and the foyer is full of high school seniors who have just been liberated from nearby schools.

A group of people in the class were singing and drinking, Ning Juechen huddled in a corner alone playing with his mobile phone, and couldn't help but secretly look for Xu Ye's figure.At first Xu Ye and Lu Juelan were called to play board games, but Xu Ye was killed by a werewolf early in the morning and took the microphone to sing.When that round was over, Lu Juelan also asked for a microphone, and the two sang "The King of Love Songs" together: "foreverloveforeverlove/I just want to spend my whole life loving you/from now on/you will be all/happy reason".

When Xu Ye sang this line, he kept staring at Lu Juelan, the corners of his mouth were filled with a smile that couldn't be hidden, and his eyes were so tender that they dripped water.Ning Juechen bit his lip and lowered his head, the phone was out of battery and turned off automatically.

Ning Juechen had never been to a place like KTV, the box was very noisy and dark, and he didn't like the smell of cigarettes, he just felt dizzy after staying for a long time.He put his phone away and went outside to breathe, went around to the bathroom to wash his face with some cold water.

Ning Juechen didn't remember the box number just now, he got dizzy in the winding corridor and found the wrong room, and when he opened the door, he found that no one knew him, he apologized and exited, but was pulled away by the people inside Hold your wrist: "Don't go, let's catch up on the old days." Ning Juechen turned his head and met Wu Tian's face, his heart skipped a beat.

Ning Juechen didn't know anything about the forum, but he only knew that the anonymous user who uploaded the recording was picked up later, and it was Wu Tian.Xu Ye would definitely not let him go, he knocked out one of his front teeth, and if Lu Juelan hadn't stopped him, he would have died.After this happened, Xu Ye was demerited, Wu Tian also transferred schools in the last semester of his third year of high school, and Ning Juechen already had