almost lonely

Know what Xu Ye is talking about.In fact, the exchange time has passed long ago, and Ning Juechen was still struggling, feeling overwhelmed by exhaustion, he pulled the scarf up to cover his mouth and nose, and the light gray fabric was slowly stained with spots of red.

27 Don't Like Others

That morning Xu Ye overslept, woke up and saw that it was already 08:30 on the phone.He sat up for a moment and found that Aunt Xu had already arrived.Xu Ye secretly breathed a sigh of relief: "Why didn't you call me?"

Aunt Xu was preparing hot milk: "Seeing that you were so sound asleep, I didn't call you on purpose. Don't worry, I turned over as soon as I came, and I didn't miss the time!" Xu Ye put on his coat and sat up: "That's good, I'll sleep Too dead to hear the alarm clock go off at all."

"Xiao Xu, have you started working recently? I don't think you've been here during the day." Aunt Xu paused, "You don't have to come every night when you're busy and tired. You can call me and let me know." Stay here and watch. But, remember to come and have a look when you have time." Xu Ye was stunned for a moment: "Auntie, what are you talking about?"

Aunt Xu sighed: "It's hard for family members to persevere when encountering this kind of thing, let alone friends? You are not young anymore, you have your own affairs to be busy, and you will get married and have children in the future. I know this It's not my turn to talk, but... well, don't ignore him, don't forget Xiao Ning, even if you find time to come and accompany him. To put it bluntly, Xiao Ning's family members are more cruel than each other , He really only has you." Xu Ye was sore and astringent when she said a few words: "I happen to have something to do recently, how can I ignore him? It will be fine after a while. Don't think about it."

Maybe after a while, Chenchen will "come back".This kind of thinking is really a bit blindly optimistic, but Xu Ye had to force himself to think so.It hurts to breathe, and it hurts to drink water. He must give himself some thoughts, otherwise the current day will not be able to survive a day.

In fact, Aunt Xu made a mistake, not "Ning Juechen only has him", but "he only has Ning Juechen".

Xu Ye was buying glutinous rice balls at the breakfast shop next to the hospital, and the Lantern Festival passed by without a proper celebration.The boss took a large colander and asked him if he wanted minced meat, sesame or red bean paste. Xu Yi couldn't answer, so he had to buy one of each of the three flavors.For so many years, he has never paid attention to Ning Juechen's taste, nor has he cared about what Ning Juechen likes to eat, and Ning Juechen helps him adjust the taste of hot pot every time he himself eats it.

I came back late today, usually at this time Ning Juechen was already awake and reading a book, Xu Yi put down the things in his hands, and saw no one.He thought that Ning Juechen was still sleeping, and the door of the bedroom was ajar. He opened the door and went in, but there was still no one.The bed was made very clean, the sheets were neatly arranged, and the quilt was also folded.

The window was half open, and the wind came in, and the three photos on the bedside table were blown to the ground.Xu Ye's heart skipped a beat suddenly, he found his mobile phone to call Ning Juechen, his fingers were trembling.The phone was connected, and the ringtone rang in the living room.

Xu Ye's first reaction was that Lu Juelan had left, but when he thought about the agreement between them, Lu Juelan should not have dared to leave because he had a handle. That is... Ning Juechen left by himself. In the morning, impatiently, fled.

Xu Ye picked up the photos scattered on the ground and pinched them in his hands. His mind was full of the indifferent expression on Ning Juechen's face these days. He wondered if Ning Juechen wanted to leave long ago?Just finally waiting for an opportunity.

Xu Ye didn't know how he made it all the way to the gate of the community. He asked the security guard if he had seen such a tall and thin man go out in the morning, and the security guard glanced at him impatiently: "I don't know! There are so many people coming in and out every day, how can I remember everyone!"

Although it was the expected answer, Xu Ye's heart suddenly sank again.This feeling is not the first time. From the day of the car accident, the moment he walked into the ICU and stood by the hospital bed, and the days and nights he was with in the ward, he seemed to have fallen into a place where he could not reach his arms for more than half a year. A bottomless pit with five fingers, falling down and down, without knowing where the end is.

Suddenly one day, I found Chenchen was by my side, so it seemed as if I was suddenly caught by a branch, hanging upside down in mid-air.And just at that second, the branch broke with a click, Xu Ye only felt that he began to fall straight into the darkness at high speed again, and no one would hold him this time.He thought maybe the bottomless pit was not really bottomless, he would never be able to land, but one day he would fall to his death at the end of this nightmare.

And that end point is clearly getting closer.

"Let's go if you have nothing to do, don't get stuck here!" The security guard yelled and urged.Xu Ye moved a little to the side with difficulty, the whole portrait was firmly nailed in place, every step weighed a thousand catties.He leaned against the fence with no strength, and after an unknown amount of time, the remaining cigarettes in the cigarette case were exhausted, and when he looked up again, he suddenly saw a familiar figure across the road.

Xu Ye was startled, his body had reacted one step earlier than his brain, and he rushed over.As soon as the light turned green at the intersection, Xu Ye strode into the traffic and crossed the road without hesitation. The leading car brushed against his leg and stopped abruptly, almost colliding with it, causing exaggerated sudden braking from behind. and scolding.

Xu Ye almost jumped in front of Ning Juechen, he thought that he must be embarrassed and ridiculous now, how could he not be able to speak clearly: "Where did you go! Where did you... go?!"

Ning Juechen was shocked, and he could probably guess what Xu Ye was talking about. He woodenly held up the things he was carrying in his hands to show him, the fish tail was frantically stirring in the black plastic bag, and the bag was rustling. non-stop.Xu Ye obviously choked up: "I thought..." Ning Juechen said with difficulty: "I want to make crucian carp soup."

When I went back, the glutinous rice balls on the table had been completely cooled, sticking together and forming a large piece.Xu Ye wanted to throw it away, but Ning Juechen casually took a portion and ate it. In fact, he has never eaten glutinous rice balls because of his poor stomach, but Xu Ye probably won't know about this kind of thing.

Ning Juechen learned how to cook crucian carp soup from Grandma Xu Ye. At that time, he often ran to Xu Ye's house with a cheeky face, and he followed Xu Ye's favorite food in the kitchen very seriously.The crucian carp soup is also the same. He tried several times before he dared to make it for Xu Ye, but he was rejected the first time. I don't know what's interesting.

Over the years, no matter how many times Tang has been cold, his heart has also been cold. At the end, he no longer had any expectations.

Ning Juechen couldn't remember how long it had been since the two of them sat down and had a meal like this.

Xu Ye immersed himself in drinking the soup. This morning, he was still in hell and heaven, and he hasn't recovered yet. "Brother Yi." Ning Juechen called him.Xu Ye buzzed in his head, this was the first time Ning Juechen called him Brother Ye when he was sober.There was a sudden shock in his heart, as if being pricked by a needle, he was about to bleed, and then he heard the second part of the sentence: "I want to see, my friend."

Xu Ye paused for a moment and didn't speak. Ning Juechen thought he didn't hear, and repeated with a higher volume: "Brother Ye, I think, see, my friend." "Friend? That Qiu Hui?" Xu Ye slowly Slowly raised his head, and crushed the porcelain spoon in his hand, "So you cooked this bowl of soup today just to say this to me?"

Ning Juechen couldn't refute, he was indeed trying to curry favor with Xu Ye clumsily, obviously the effect was quite good at first, he didn't know why Xu Ye was angry. "You want to see him that much?!" Xu Ye clenched his fists more and more tightly, and the back of his hand was full of veins, "Do you like him? Do you like him?!"

Ning Juechen stared at Xu Ye's slashed tiger's mouth, tiny drops of blood leaked out: "Bleeding..." Xu Ye was trembling: "Answer me! Do you like him?"

An indescribable panic surged in his heart, he minded the existence of Qiu Hui, he minded that they were friends for many years, and even more minded that Ning Juechen was willing to tell Qiu Hui everything but refused to tell him a single word.When Xu Ye heard her own voice, she looked extremely pitiful in Ning Juechen's silence: "Ning Juechen! You can't like others!"

Ning Juechen uttered a few words inaudibly: "Why, you can't?" "You are mine!" Xu Ye repeated stubbornly like a vexatious child: "You belong to me alone! You can't like others! "

Ning Juechen frowned and thought for a long time before softly saying: "But you, not mine." Xu Ye's breathing stopped suddenly.

Ning Juechen stammered a lot of words on and off, some of which couldn't be connected into sentences.

"Brother Yi, some people say that a person will die three times in a lifetime. The first time is at the end of life, the moment he dies; the second time is at the funeral, when everyone comes to remember him and say goodbye to him; the third time Yes, the last person who remembered him also forgot him, then he is really dead, and has nothing to do with this world anymore."

"At that time, I thought I was going to die. My whole body hurt, it hurt so much, it hurt more than when my dad beat me up when he was drunk, and it hurt even more than the first gastroscopy. Waiting for you, you have been calling my brother, calling him over and over again. In fact, it was very fast, maybe only a few minutes, but because of the pain, the time passed so slowly. I thought, in your heart, there was, really, no me."

"Then suddenly, I couldn't hold on for a second."

"People like me, there probably won't be, funerals. No one will come to see me off. If anyone thinks of me, I think that person