waiting for the flowers to bloom

Song Fanfan didn't have much to do these days, and the matter of going to England was almost the same as his family said. Although Weng Ling was a little worried, she finally chose to support him.Only Tong Puhao has been very unhappy about this. Although he and Song Fanfan are not biological brothers, they grew up together, and Song Fanfan has always protected him everywhere. He really likes Song Fanfan as an elder brother.

"Brother, why do you have to go to England?" It was almost morning, and Tong Puhao was still lying on Song Fanfan's bed and refused to get off.

Song Fanfan was already too sleepy, he patted Tong Puhao's arm, motioned him to sleep in it, and then he lay down beside the bed, "It's not that I have to go, but I just have a chance, I want to go out and have a try .”

"Why? I heard that there are many people who take the postgraduate entrance examination now, saying that they may not be able to find a good job when they come back from abroad?"

"The postgraduate entrance examination... It's not that I haven't thought about it, I just don't want to take the exam. In the future, work is one aspect, and... I want to go outside and see for myself, let's make a breakthrough. In fact, my parents really want you to go abroad to study , Dad told me about you the other day, and said that if your grades can improve, he might help you apply for foreign universities."

"Really!" Tong Puhao rolled over like a carp, grabbed Song Fanfan's shoulder, and stared wide-eyed!

"But Dad asked me to talk to you. Are you not doing well recently? Or?"

When mentioning grades, Tong Puhao froze instantly. "I'm just stupid, and I can't improve my grades no matter what. You are freed from the cage, and you can enjoy the wonderful university life in Heng'an. The sky is high and the emperor is far away, and no one can control you. Mom is nervous now. I don’t watch TV when I’m with her, and I cook in different ways every day, for fear that I won’t be able to eat well at school, which puts me under a lot of pressure.”

"No wonder I feel that you have grown taller every time I come back, and I have given you all the delicious food!" Song Fanfan teased him.

But this is also true. In three years, Tong Puhao has unknowingly been much taller than Song Fanfan, and he is only 17 years old this year, and he still has long hair.

"What's the use of being tall? The most important thing now is not the grades. Hey, brother, how did you learn at that time? I don't see you staying up late every day. Although you don't play games, I remember that you don't either." Holding on to a book all day long? Do you remember that when you finished the exam, your mother was not willing to throw away your book, and gave it all to me last semester!"

"Well... I can't remember clearly. But my grades are average, and it's not very good."

"I know people like you are very humble. A perfect score of 98 is considered low! There is a fat guy in our class who wears black-rimmed glasses. No one cares about him. Every time he takes the exam, he is the top 10 in our grade. Last month The math test is very difficult. After we handed in the paper, we saw him crying on the table alone. We asked him what was wrong. He cried and said that he failed the test. We are very concerned. Comfort him, saying that it’s okay if you don’t do well in one exam or something... Did you know the result? The perfect score in math is 150, and that fat man got 133 in the exam!!! I didn’t even get 100!!”

"Hahaha~ Xueba has very high demands on himself, you can't understand."

"Hey, if I can get that high in the exam, I can burn incense and worship Buddha every day! I have hardly slept before 12 o'clock this year. Every time I am too sleepy, I open the bed curtain and look at the building opposite. The third floor opposite I know who I live in, and I sleep very late every day. Every time I look at the light in the opposite room, reminding myself that I will not rest until the light on the opposite side is turned off. But the grades are still not improving, and I really don’t know what to do Done, this semester will be over soon, and the 3-day countdown will begin at the beginning of the next semester..."

"This is really not like you! I know you are anxious, but don't push yourself too hard. If you keep studying in this high-load way, you will soon be too tired to keep going. In fact, my grades in the third year of high school were really not very good, but they were still stable..."

As Song Fanfan said, he thought of himself at that time, and it was actually the same, but he would not say it no matter how psychologically stressed he was.He competed with himself, testing his limit every day, like a bet with no stakes, let him, a person struggling in an anxious world, still have some hope.

He knows how to write the word "world" and how to explain it, but he has never been able to understand the meaning of these two words. The story of "The Frog at the Bottom of the Well" is put in textbooks as a fable, explained and analyzed.People are laughing at the frog in the well, but they are never willing to admit that they are just another frog in the well.

But Song Fanfan is clear, he has always been a very self-aware person, he is too aware that he is just one of the thousands of frogs in the world, but he thinks... he is actually very happy to stay at the bottom of the well.

Not all frogs in a well want to jump out of that well... However, with the progress of the times, he has to realize bit by bit, the so-called world beyond the well.

He was not sure whether he should say the following words, he wanted to tell Haohao that as long as he felt that he had done his best, he should not worry too much about the result, because in his eyes, university was not as beautiful as he imagined when he was a student.

"Brother, how do you feel about being in college? It was fine when you first entered college, but I always feel that you have become special in the past two years...how should I put it? Melancholy? No, um...special...deep? Er... My Chinese is not good, but I feel that you are always unhappy. Every time I see you, I feel that you are worried about something. Did you quarrel with Dad one night last year or when? You don’t tell me, but I know it all , you didn't come back that night. Dad drank all night, and I was terrified in the house. You never talked back to Dad, what happened?"

Song Fanfan recalled that night in November last year when Tong Wei hit them at the Yijiang Bridge with a tree branch. He regretted not following Tong Wei home that day. If he hadn't insisted on following Sui Dong that day... No, maybe before that , when he met Zhao Chengfang for the first time, the scene in the hospital, he should have been more decisive... Song Fanfan fell into deep thought, he was even imagining that if they really separated then, he would be more decisive now. What will it be like?

"elder brother?"

"Ah, what's wrong?"

"I'm asking you something! Is university not good? Why do you feel so uncomfortable?"

"It depends on the individual...how do I...how?" Song Fanfan was a little puzzled, "University is a wonderful place, a bit like Pandora's box, I think maybe my way of opening it is wrong, university is too many elements A place to mingle and mingle.”

"Uh...can you speak more simply?"

"In my opinion, going to college is like walking a maze. Everyone enters from one entrance, but until the end, no one knows which exit will come out. The roads in the maze are intricate, some will make you go back the same way, and some will lead you back. It will even let you out directly, and there are shortcuts to the exit. When looking for the exit, they will get some clues to help them find the direction, but not all people can effectively use these clues, only by experience , and even luck to determine the next direction. Therefore, everyone's exit is different, and few people can get out of the exit they want. But I think I belong to the kind of people who are trapped in the maze. I don’t know which exit I want. So what I do now is to climb up to the top of the wall, find the nearest exit, and jump out of the maze first.”

"The picture is so strong..."

"It's just my opinion. Most people still want to go to college."

"Brother, you don't have a problem because you are under too much pressure in college... Seriously, is it because you haven't had a girlfriend... that you are bored?" Tong Puhao looked at him with a wicked smile on his face.

Song Fanfan hadn't expressed his thoughts sincerely to someone like this for a long time, and was about to have an in-depth conversation with him, but was knocked back by all his questions.Co-authoring, he thought of a way to have some ideological and spiritual exchanges with Tong Puhao, this kid didn't take it seriously at all...

"So what? Do you have a girlfriend now?"

"I'm so handsome, of course I have a girlfriend, and I'm in the same class as the sophomore in high school. Brother, please don't tell your parents."

"You still have a girlfriend... Don't worry, I won't tell my parents, but you should now..."

"You should focus on your studies, stop talking, I'm tired of hearing this! Brother, you are just too serious, no, no, it's because you look too indifferent, that's what people call a "poker face" now." , always have that expression, it's not easy to get close to it."

"Really?" Song Fanfan inevitably thought of Sui Dong again, so why he... oh, he said that he is a bit like Zhao Chengfang.

"Don't you have anyone you like? Don't you say that the university is full of beauties?"

"Who do you listen to? You'll know when you go to college."

"Oh..." Tong Puhao sighed, "I don't know if I can pass the exam yet!"

"Don't think like this. You still have time. As long as you try your best, no matter what the final result is, your parents will definitely be happy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself."

"Brother, why are you so nice..." Tong Puhao was a little moved, and rushed over for a bear hug.

Song Fanfan, a person with such a delicate mind, naturally understands Tong Puhao's mood. This period is like a "long march". No one can predict the final outcome, so they can only rush forward with all their strength.Tong Puhao was just worried, a little tired, he hoped that he could let him persist for a while, and he would not regret it at the last moment.

That night the two brothers fell asleep just like that. Song Fanfan didn't sleep deeply, and woke up several times in the middle of the night to cover Tong Puhao with a quilt.

Because the school was not on holiday yet, Song Fanfan went back without staying at home.

The school is still so peaceful, people are doing what they should do, just like every day before, and it will probably be the same tomorrow, the future seems to have become known.

In the next period of time, Song Fanfan seized the time to complete all the materials needed to go abroad, and then there was a long wait.To be honest, he himself is not sure whether any school will admit him. He knows that he is not a top-notch person, nor does he feel that he has any outstanding features. He is just an ordinary college student, trying to catch the last chance. straw.

He didn't think about what would happen if he failed in the end. He didn't want to take the postgraduate entrance examination and didn't go to the campus to recruit. In the future, he might be like thousands of job seekers, rushing to the talent market in various places every day, watching all kinds of faces, Try every means to hope that your resume can be read more by others.

In fact, at this time, people's hearts are most likely to be shaken. When everyone he knows around him is rushing between schools and companies for the future, he can only wait with his little hope and endless worries.

Sometimes, at the extreme of boredom, Song Fanfan would think of Sui Dong, think of Sui Dong coming to school, that night they sat on the small slope in the back playground, cuddling quietly; think of that year, that summer vacation, that morning, that night. On the phone, Sui Dong said that he had to go all out; thinking of the night when they went to watch the sunrise, there was a traffic jam on the long expressway, it was raining outside, and "Blue and White Porcelain" was playing in the car, Sui Dong was taking a nap ...

Song Fanfan never thought that his first love would be a man, nor did he think that this love would be so short.He is not a competitive person, or in other words, he never dared to be a competitive person, so no matter how unwilling and lost he is in the end, his choice will always be to accept it all.Although every time he thought of Sui Dong, he still felt uncomfortable, but he knew in his heart that it was in the past tense, and he never hoped that things would turn around.

However, God seemed to have made a big joke with him. In the end, he let Sui Dong imprint a deep mark on his heart, making it impossible for them to disconnect cleanly. .