waiting for the flowers to bloom

The two bought a bunch of wine and snacks from the supermarket.

"Competition?" Shan Xingqi opened two bottles of beer, meaning to dry it all in one go.

Song Fanfan looked at him, took a bottle and said, "Come here."

The two picked up the wine bottle and touched it lightly, then raised their heads and started pouring it into their mouths, not forgetting to glance at each other's progress while drinking.Competing with each other, no one wants to lose the first round.

Song Fanfan is still inexperienced, not as good as Shan Huangqi, an old fritter who has been around in society.

"Your half of the bottle has dripped onto your clothes. You don't drink as much as I do."

"But I finished it first." Shan Yuqi argued with a smile.

"Little man." Song Fanfan put down the wine bottle.

"Go to the living room and watch TV."

"Mrs. Maisel won't let me."

"She still won't let you drink at home!"

Well, let's be presumptuous for a second time.I'm sorry, Mrs Maisel, but we will clean up the house for you.

"Let's find a movie." Shan Yuqi flipped through the remote control. "What do you want to see?"

"Whatever, let's have some warm movies."

"Masters, why do you love me?" He complained, but he still found a movie that looked full of warmth.

"Would you like to drink this?"

"wine?"

"Wine, I really like drinking this. It turns out that my mother made wine herself, and the taste is quite similar to this."

"Open it and try it."

The two watched the movie, each drank but did not speak, and did not know what the other was thinking.

"Where did you find the scenes for making movies and TV shows? They are so beautiful."

"I don't know, it should have been dealt with."

……

Song Fanfan got up to get the wine bottle, "Empty? Drink it so fast. Let me open another bottle. What are you drinking?"

"Is that still there?"

"Have."

Song Fanfan reopened a bottle and filled it up.

The empty wine bottles on the table slowly piled up, feeling a little drowsy, a little headache, and gradually unable to receive the information conveyed by the movie.Song Fanfan thought, he must have drunk too much.

"Are you dizzy?"

"It's okay, you can't hold it anymore?"

"I'm just a little dizzy."

"You don't drink too much, do you?" Shan Xingqi stretched out his hand and shook it, "Can you see clearly?"

"I'm not drunk, I'm just a little bit high, sober." Song Fanfan leaned on the sofa, "The last time I was drunk was when I was a freshman, and I just met Sui Dong at that time. It's not really acquaintance..."

"So you two... after drinking?"

"No." Song Fanfan felt that he couldn't turn his head, and he drank the rest of the wine in the glass in one gulp, "The first time we were on his birthday, I was a senior at that time, or was it a junior? Hmm ... Big... Four, I haven't done it a few times in total, anyway, he is looking for someone outside, it doesn't matter if I am there or not."

"Playing Plato?"

"Didn't dare at the time. I was very conservative." Song Fanfan said, not knowing what he thought of, and smiled.

"Why do you like Fan Long? He should be more like your brother?" Song Fanfan asked suddenly.

"When I was ignorant, I took him as my brother. Later... Then it changed."

"You always say that I am hypocritical and not like a man. You have been with Fan Long for so many years. Wouldn't it be better to let him go earlier?"

"Don't say a few words, I can't persuade you, and you can't persuade me." Shan Xingqi picked up the cup and touched Song Fanfan, then drank it in one breath.

"Did Fan Long treat you well before?"

"It's pretty good, I think, anyway, I didn't treat you badly."

"Sui Dong was fine before."

Song Fanfan looked at the TV screen, because his reaction became slow, and he couldn't connect to the plot of the movie.I can only feel the slightly sweet wine smell concentrated in the bitterness filling the whole living room, and even the air I breathe in is mixed with a faint grape aroma, which makes people want to get lost in it. "He used to be fine."

"Fan Long was fine before." Shan Huangqi stared blankly at the ceiling, "Do you know why I always want to match you two?"

Song Fanfan turned to look at him, "Didn't you say you were envious?"

"Not exactly. Leaving aside the two of you in the past, in fact, I always feel that... There were a few times when I understood Sui Dong. You hesitated, let him have hope but was disappointed again and again. Fan Long also It's always like this... If he had rejected me resolutely from the very beginning and made me lose my heart, I probably wouldn't be by his side for so long, the longer the time, the more inseparable I will be."

"I..." Song Fanfan's words were stuck in his throat, Shan Xingqi was right, this was his own problem.

"Have you ever heard a sentence? Plato said: If you love, please love deeply, if you abandon, please be thorough, don't be ambiguous, hurt others and yourself."

"Did he really say that?"

"You can take it as what I said." Shan Yuqi narrowed his eyes and smiled.

Song Fanfan understands it, he naturally understands this truth... Didn't the previous self also have the same expectations for him?

But what should I do now?He has said the words of refusal, many times... But he really can't make himself do nothing.

Did you drink too much?

Suddenly want to see him.

Song Fanfan covered his eyes with one arm and leaned on the sofa. His mind fluctuated for a while, and he didn't know whether he was asleep or in a daze. He only heard the voice on the TV getting farther and farther away from him. All of a sudden, it cracked open, and the whole person seemed to sink in, falling into the passage of time...

"Song Fanfan, I'm here. Behind you, look back."

who is talking?

later?no one.

"I'm here, see me waving?"

There is no one...

In front of Song Fanfan's eyes was a sparkling sea, on the surface of which was the sun that had just popped out, someone was talking to him, but there was no one in sight except himself.

I really want to ask, but I can't speak.Suddenly a strong wind came from the sea and passed by, and for a moment he seemed to see the wind.

"Song Fanfan?"

So who is calling me again?

Did the sound come from the sea?Unable to hear it, Song Fanfan suddenly felt a little flustered, the morning sun shining on his body didn't make him feel good, he just wanted to escape from this peaceful and terrifying beach.

He started to run suddenly, but he felt like he was carrying a mountain on his back, and he couldn't breathe with difficulty every time he took a step.

"Fanfan, wait for me!"

In the voice, I am getting closer and closer... I have to go quickly.Song Fanfan didn't dare to look back, he just wished he could run faster.

"Don't go there!"

Song Fanfan didn't listen to this sentence, he believed in his own judgment and left here quickly.

But why is it getting more and more difficult?I can't lift my legs anymore, how could this be?

"Fanfan!"

Someone posted it, one arm wrapped around him from behind, the other hand covered his eyes, his back was so warm, but his chest was so cold, it was water! !How could it be in the water?He struggled hastily...

"Snapped--"

Song Fanfan seemed to have captured something, and he woke up with a jerk.

Shan Xingqi was sleeping soundly on his stomach, the wine bottle in his hand was already empty, and half of the bottle was poured on him, no wonder he dreamed that he was in the sea, really...

The TV was still on, but the movie was over.

Song Fanfan picked up his phone and checked the time. It was 4 o'clock in the morning. It seemed that he could not drink too much wine. He was still dizzy and not sober.He carefully put the Shan Xingqi on the sofa and lay down flat, and he went to the bathroom to wash his face. The dream just now was very inexplicable, it can't be regarded as a nightmare... But he always felt that his heart was creepy, and he even dreamed of Sui Dong .

Song Fanfan looked at his swollen face in the mirror, and thought a little depressed, what did Sui Dong like about him?He himself didn't think there was anything about him that Sui Dong could miss so much.

Do you still like him?

Maybe.

The flame that was once ignited and extinguished for him, at this moment, or at some point in the past, sparks were quietly ignited again. As long as he is willing to let the air enter, he can see the dancing flame.

Do you want to try again?

He is not sure, once he decides to gamble again, he will put all his future on the gambling table.

You lost so ugly a few years ago, don't you give up?

Didn't you say you disgusted him?Didn't you mean to let him taste the pain of being in a desperate situation?Have you forgotten?

Yes, of course he didn't forget it, but he just cared about it in his heart, what could he do?

Sui Dong, an extremely cunning person, on the surface gave him the dealer and insisted on a united front with him, but in fact he was manipulating the whole situation.

He is a stupid person, he can never win this game.

Song Fanfan took two blankets and went back to the living room, and covered Shan Xingqi, who was unconscious, with one blanket, and then wrapped the other blanket and leaned on the sofa in a daze.

It's time for him to think about it, he is 26 years old, and he is not too young, whether it is for himself, Sui Dong, or his family, he has to make a decision.

His indecision problem seemed to be better when he was with Sui Dong, but after going too far, he seemed to be even more hesitant than before, and he couldn't make decisive decisions on more and more things.He is very aware of his shortcomings, but he has not been able to correct them for more than 20 years.

Sui Dong was just the opposite of himself, he always took action immediately when he thought of something, no matter what the result would be.

I don't know if it was because he drank too much wine at night or what happened, but Song Fanfan always felt that there was a cold wind blowing on him, even though the windows and doors were closed, it was almost June.

Thinking of that weird dream again, he tightened the blanket around his body, the last reassuring arm, and the warm palm covering his eyes... That voice must be Sui Dong's.

Song Fanfan felt that he could no longer persuade himself to think about other things to divert his attention. From the time he just woke up to now, he became more and more aware of how much he wanted to see Sui Dong.

He didn't know that this was the first time he had reflected on the insignificant 20 years in the past.

If you have to compare a person's life to a train.

Then, he had always thought that his life would follow the most common route.Sui Dong was like a variable, he shouldn't have appeared on his own track, but he didn't know why their tracks overlapped.Since then, the winding track in the wilderness under my feet has become more thrilling and exciting.

Do you know how scared I am of you?Do you know how much I miss you?

At 4:45 in the morning, Song Fanfan looked at the video invitation on WeChat, swallowed a sip of sweet wine, and tapped it lightly.

……

"Fanfan." Tong Wei's smiling face appeared on the screen.

"dad."

"Why is the video now? It's still not dawn on your side?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Fanfan." Weng Ling's voice came over, and then appeared behind Tong Wei.

"Dad, Mom, I have something to tell you."

"What's the matter? Are you in such a hurry?"

"I... I have someone I really like...but..."

"?"

The two people on the opposite side didn't react, so suddenly, this is good news, but it feels...

Weng Ling first realized the problem, she stepped forward and took the phone from Tong Wei, "Fanfan, is it Sui Dong?"

Song Fanfan was a little surprised, but he didn't deny it. Instead, he lowered his head in shame. He was waiting for their opposition and persuasion.

Unexpectedly, Weng Ling seemed to know it a long time ago, and sighed: "Sure enough... I had this vague feeling when you came back last time."

"You...don't object?"

Tong Wei wanted to say something but was stopped by Weng Ling, "You are not a child anymore, I believe you can choose to tell us, it must be a decision that you have thought about for a long time."

"I knew that Sui Dong was difficult to deal with, and I reminded him specifically last time..." Tong Wei muttered something behind, but Weng Ling completely ignored him, "Is he by your side now?"

"No, he's in France, there's a match there in a few days."

"Are you going to the game?"

"I don't know...I haven't told him yet."

Weng Ling seemed a little helpless, but it was not so obvious, "You decide for yourself, but you have to think clearly about what will happen in the future."

"Mom, is it really okay? Sui Dong..."

"Fanfan, are you really thinking about it?" Tong Wei interjected, "I don't like Sui Dong, but we won't object if you really decide. I don't want to mention it, but are you sure you've opened your eyes and seen clearly? Can he really treat you well?"

"I've thought about it for a long time. I don't know where I can go in the future...but I probably won't go to anyone else except him."

"Your child is sincere, and you don't know what ecstasy Sui Dong gave you?"

Weng Ling shook his head helplessly, looked worriedly at the ashamed Song Fanfan on the other side of the video, and continued: "People can't say anything about feelings, and we can't object. No matter who it is, you always have something in your heart." Yes. You need to grow your mind and gain your wisdom, so you can't be as confused as before."

"Ok, I know."

"Oh——" Tong Wei sighed for a long time, "Okay, we know about this, don't be too stressed. Didn't I tell you before, your mother and I have already seen it, you You decide your own affairs. Keep a low profile when you go out and keep a low profile. When you are brave, you can't admit cowardice. When it's time to do something, don't be polite to him. Dad will support you, don't let Sui Dong bully you anymore!"

"What are you talking about?" Weng Ling pretended to be angry and patted Tong Wei on the back, and finally told him: "If you go to France, please tell us that you are safe. It is not peaceful in Europe recently. , pay more attention at ordinary times."

The author has something to say: I'm really sorry for the recent intermittent...