weightlessness

After Lin Zhujin came back this time, she became much more peaceful. She crossed her legs all day long, let her eat and sleep, and waited for Li Chenyin to come back every night.

Apart from bickering with Li Sichen every now and then, which turned his childish face red, he didn't make any fuss.

Li Sichen found that Lin Zhujin was alone in a daze in the room during the day, and when the sound of the game ending sounded on his mobile phone, he came back to his senses as if suddenly awakened, lying alone on the bed, If you don't mess with him, he may not talk all day, because no one pays attention to him.

Li Chenyin sometimes communicates with him when he comes back every night, but Li Chenyin himself is not very good at expressing words. He listens to the housekeeper's report on Lin Zhujin's daily life every day, and listens to Li Sichen talk about his dissatisfaction. In the end, there was not a word about what Lin Zhujin did or said recently that offended him, it was simply the child's unilateral dissatisfaction and complaint.

Li Chenyin felt that Lin Zhujin was really bored like this, but it was unreasonable that he hadn't seen him making a fuss until now.

On a sunny afternoon, Li Chenyin got a wheelchair, put a thin blanket on Lin Zhujin, and pushed him out.

In the nearby park, the uncle who cleaned the park had just cleaned it not long ago, and there were already new fallen leaves on the side of the road.

Lin Zhujin leaned her head on the back of the wheelchair and said suddenly: "I think I'm almost ready."

Li Chenyin looked calm and did not give in at all: "The doctor said it will take at least three months."

"I'm recovering well, I can feel it, besides, it's only a few days away from three months, I'm almost suffocating." Lin Zhujin continued.

"You're not a child anymore, do you still want me to talk about this kind of thing? When you get better, go out if you want to go out." Li Chenyin insisted.

After a lot of haggling to no avail, when Lin Zhujin came back, he was sluggish, making people think that he didn't just go out to let the wind go, but went to be scolded.

Li Chenyin felt that Lin Zhujin seemed to have restrained the thorns all over his body when he came back this time, and it didn't show on his face, and sometimes his behavior still revealed some uneasiness.

This kind of uneasiness, rather than making Li Chenyin happy, made him feel that Lin Zhujin was not afraid of anything, and that this arrogant and self-willed person would one day be so afraid of pushing him away, it made Li Chenyin feel more confused.

When taking a bath at night, Lin Zhujin always wanted to provoke Li Chenyin, and sometimes Li Chenyin would reprimand him with a dark face before he slowly settled down.

Today, Lin Zhujin was a little excited, covered in water, but insisted on hugging Li Chenyin, he pressed against his ear and exhaled hot air: "It's been so long, don't you want to?"

Li Chenyin's clothes were soaked by the water droplets on his body, he frowned and said: "Stop messing around, I won't wash it for you next time if you do this again!"

Lin Zhujin did not give up, and kissed him lightly on the face all the way, along his lips, chin to chest, muttering in his mouth: "I'm almost healed, it's okay, just be gentle."

After all, Li Chenyin hadn't touched him for a long time, so he was easily aroused by him, and seeing his deliberate seductive appearance, he directly picked him up and opened the bathroom door.

Lin Zhujin had a triumphant smile on his face, like a fox who has successfully stolen.

He was put on the bed, Li Chenyin gently separated his legs, and said in a hoarse voice, "Don't move this leg."

"Don't move, don't move." Lin Zhujin lifted up his still good leg, put it around Li Chenyin's waist, and rubbed it as if urging.

Li Chenyin's breathing became rough all of a sudden.

After all, he didn't do it for a while, he had a little difficulty getting in, seeing Lin Zhujin's expression was also very uncomfortable, and the tip of his nose was sweating.

Later, he felt that it was getting smoother, and Lin Zhujin also reacted, but he could only hear Lin Zhujin's very suppressed muffled groans, and some imperceptible groans that seemed to be pressed against his throat.

But Lin Zhujin, who is so reckless, would be embarrassed to call out.

But Li Chenyin's self-cultivation made it impossible for him to ask even on the bed, "Why don't you call the bed, such words."

Suddenly, he thought of Li Sichen's room not far away, but since when Lin Zhujin was so measured, he would still take Li Sichen into consideration.

His heart moved, and seeing Lin Zhujin's blushing cheeks, but he was just panting with his mouth open, with a suppressed look, he said tactfully, "The sound insulation in the room is very good, so you don't have to worry."

Lin Zhujin looked confused and asked, "What?"

Li Chenyin repeated it again.

Lin Zhujin reacted immediately, and he was a little surprised: "But you obviously think my barking is not good, and you don't like to hear me barking."

Li Chenyin was stunned by this accusation, and his movements became a little heavier: "When did I say that?"

"But...but...you always tell me to shut up when you're on the bed." Lin Zhujin bowed up sensitively at the waist, and kept panting with difficulty.

Li Chenyin fell silent. He thought that he had strangled his neck many times, or covered his mouth, and told him to shut up.

That's because Lin Zhujin's words are too ugly. He always says things he doesn't want to hear in a very tricky way, mocking him and hurting him.

After so many times, he didn't expect Lin Zhujin to understand it this way.

But what is there to explain, but Lin Zhujin took the initiative to consider this for him, which made him a little puzzled.

In the end, he just said stiffly: "No, I don't dislike you."

In the next second, Lin Zhujin let out a moan that made people feel extremely hot.

The voice was high and low, until the end trembled, and then there was a weeping sound, and it gradually stopped in the middle of the night.

Lin Zhujin's restrained temper would sometimes show up, and Li Chenyin would be cold to him for a few days. If he continued to be stubborn, as long as he went to sleep in the study and locked the door, Lin Zhujin would hold back his eyes the next day. Qinghei came to admit his mistake.

Li Chenyin didn't pay attention at the time, but felt that his restraint for a while might indeed be a little guilty for himself, or he might be afraid of being abandoned again.

From this point of view, it was not ineffective to push him out this time, but it was beyond his expectation that he would suffer such a serious injury.

But in the early morning of this day, Lin Zhujin suddenly woke up from the dream, covered in sweat, shaking, his hands and feet were cold, and his chest seemed to be out of breath.

Li Chenyin also woke up very quickly. He grabbed his cold hand and called him: "Ajin! Ajin! What's wrong with you!" He hugged him, stroked his back, and said softly, "You're having a nightmare ?”

"I....I dreamed that my leg was broken. The doctor...the doctor said that I will never... never dance again." Lin Zhujin panicked, stumbling, It's like I just found my voice.

Li Chenyin paused suddenly, a chill ran down his spine, he hesitated for a moment, something flashed through his mind, and he continued to stroke his back comfortingly: "How could it be, it's all fake , it's just a dream."

Lin Zhujin was like a frightened kitten, he tentatively said, "Really...really?" He raised his eyes to ask Li Chenyin, even under the dim light, his eyes were still bright amazing.

"Of course it's true. You just had a dream. Don't be afraid. If you want to dance in the future, you can still dance." Li Chenyin's voice was calm and composed, even though her heart had lost its rhythm.

But he didn't expect that when he heard the word "dancing" from Li Chenyin's mouth, his expression changed suddenly, and his eyes suddenly seemed to be filled with poisonous resentment: "No, no, I swore that I will... .I won't dance anymore."

Li Chenyin was frightened by the stare, he clasped Lin Zhujin's shoulder and shook, and shouted, "Ah Jin!"

Lin Zhujin's eyes changed a few times, gradually changing from a state of restlessness and confusion to a sense of emptiness and confusion.

He looked at Li Chenyin, and after a while, he seemed to wake up, blinked his eyes, looked at Li Chenyin with some doubts, stretched out his arms to hug him, closed his eyes and muttered: "Why don't you sleep, it's so late."

Li Chenyin was sweating profusely before Lin Zhujin hugged him. He finally took a deep breath, patted his head and said, "Go to sleep now, I had a nightmare."

Early the next morning, Li Chenyin was dressing in the house when he heard Lin Zhujin turning over.

He tentatively called out: "A Jin."

"Hmm." Lin Zhujin replied with a strong nasal voice as if he was still not sober after waking up.

"You used to... you said before, you don't dance anymore?"

Lin Zhujin replied without thinking: "How is it possible, I don't dance, what am I doing?"

"It's just that now, the doctor said it's really difficult, let's see how he recovers in the future." Lin Zhujin obviously didn't want to talk about this topic any more. Still closed his eyes.

Then under what circumstances would Lin Zhujin use such eyes to say that he had sworn never to dance again?

Li Chenyin got into the car in the morning and called Wang Lianqing.

It took two phone calls before Wang Lianqing's sleepy voice rang out: "Yo, Mr. Li, it's so early."

Li Chenyin didn't want to beat around the bush with him: "Guan Shan, what have you done?"

Wang Lianqing yawned, as if looking for his own train of thought: "He was already sick when he was with Lin Zhujin."

"What? What do you mean?" Li Chenyin didn't understand for a while.

"Before he accepted Lin Zhujin's confession, he was already sick. He was not pancreatic cancer, but lung cancer."

"He was treated conservatively, he continued to dance, and then accepted Lin Zhujin to be with him, and then told Lin Zhujin when he was about to die, to travel around the world with him, and finally died in his arms as he wished."

"At Guan Shan's funeral, Lin Zhusong brought Guan Shan's medical records. He told Lin Zhujin that if Guan Shan really loved him, he would push him away from the beginning. He said that Lin Zhujin was self-righteous His love is nothing but a wonderful lie carefully woven by Guan Shan, and a well-prepared revenge."

"Then why did Guan Shan take revenge on Lin Zhujin?"

"It's not like you don't know what kind of person Lin Zhujin is. He has liked Guan Shan since he was 14 years old, and everyone knows that he made troubles. He was the second son of the Lin family at that time. He was used to being arrogant and reckless. He didn't care what others said. I can’t see him, but Guan Shan is different. He is a single-parent family, and he lives with his mother. It’s a very ordinary family. It’s not easy for him to get to his position. I heard that his mother died of anger because of some remarks about his son’s homosexuality. , or other people who pursued Lin Zhujin have tripped him up, or who knows? Anyway, it can't obliterate that he accepted him with the purpose of hurting Lin Zhujin at the beginning. "

"But he didn't tell Lin Zhujin the truth in the end." Li Chenyin said.

"Yes, he didn't make it to the end. I don't know if his heart softened or his heart moved, or he felt that he was good as an eternal perfect white moonlight. He didn't take the last step. But Lin Zhusong found out, Lin Zhusong We don't know if Sulfone really wants to wake him up, make him sober, or simply laugh at him."

"For Guan Shan and Lin Zhujin, he called him his teacher for so long. Guan Shan taught him a lot, taught him how to treat people and how to deal with things. He shaped part of Lin Zhujin's values ​​and worldview. He is not just a lover, but also Lin Zhujin's belief, so when the truth was revealed, Lin Zhujin collapsed."

"Actually, if you think about it carefully, how can love ruin a person to such an extent? It has to be mixed with hate."

Wang Lianqing summed it up generally.

"But Lin Zhujin has only shown me how indestructible his love for Guan Shan has been for so many years." Li Chenyin felt that this was somewhat unreasonable.

"Because he forgot." Wang Lianqing replied.

"What do you mean he forgot!?" Li Chenyin's eyebrows twitched: "Are you joking?" From the time Li Chenyin made the call, every sentence he heard seemed to be a fairy tale, subverting his previous cognition.

"What is it called post-traumatic stress disorder? His memory from that day onwards and even a year and a half are messy. In fact, you can detect it with a little testing."

"During that period, he taught Wen Ding, but when he met Wen Ding a while ago, he had no impression of him at all, as if he had never known him before, and he forgot him."

"Lin Zhujin's situation at that time, he came out publicly, and even drew a line with the Lin family. He had never received any real love and care, so Guan Shan accepted him, and he quickly caught him, but that was not the case. The rope to save him is actually the last straw." Wang Lianqing's voice paused.

He added: "Actually, look, if Lin Zhujin's first love wasn't him, he would understand, how could he not quarrel in a relationship? How could Guan Shan be so perfect, tolerate him completely, and indulge him in everything without temper?"

Li Chenyin took a deep breath, and his mind suddenly became extremely chaotic.

"Since you love him, don't frighten him by throwing him out. He has no place to go. Hey, and although he looks a bit androgynous, he doesn't like to wear skirts. That would remind him of the days when he was in the Lin family trying to please An Mingxin. Although I shouldn't say anything more about the love between you and your wife, but..., hey, why didn't you answer the conversation? Did you let him pass through? "Wang Lianqing was still babbling over there.

Li Chenyin's chest was blocked and he couldn't speak a word.