On one hundred ways of acting like a baby

"How can a person walk in the rivers and lakes without wine."

Kou Dan staggered on the stone table in the garden, holding his wine glass high in one hand, and smiled at Qi Qige, "Come, drink!"

It was the end of February.

Qiqi doesn't drink alcohol, she just reads: "There are beauties here, I will never forget them when I see them, I won't see them for a day, and my thoughts are like crazy——"

"I can't listen to all this literary stuff."

Kou Dan's smile withered like a flower, the corners of his mouth gradually flattened, and then slowly drooped listlessly.

"Do you still want to read?" Qi Qige asked, holding a stack of thick old envelopes.

"Read it." Kou Dan raised his head and took a sip of wine, "Read it—"

"Ask the world, what is love." Qi Qige read softly: "Teach people directly, promise life and death—"

"Half a month ago." Kou Dan opened his mouth suddenly, his eyes blurred as if reminiscing, and murmured: "Half a month ago, he came home late, and I played tricks on him, do you remember?"

Qi Qige almost wanted to reach out and touch his chest, and suddenly his sore heart penetrated.

"I remember." She replied.

That day the champion did not return, but Kou Dan had something new to tell him, and he waited until dusk to see the champion return.Kou Dan ignored him in anger, ignored his persuasion, ordered him to go to Baihua Lane to buy Baihua Cake in person, and made a fuss about asking for the cured duck from Yanyulou.

At the side, she saw the thin man coming in and out, sweating profusely, and felt pain in her heart; then she saw Kou Dan enjoying the cured duck and soup happily, enjoying all kinds of things, not seeing his hard work in the slightest, and she was even more angry.

And on that day, she boldly leaned up to him and wiped his sweat with Sipa, a little bit of sweetness lingered in her heart for a long time.

I will never forget it.

"At that time, I still felt that he treated me well. Even if I fiddled with poetry and music on weekdays, I didn't understand. Anyway, he didn't dislike me, and I didn't think he was dull, but now—"

Kou Dan frowned, his eyes were dazed, his face was full of sorrow, and he asked in great perplexity: "Why do I seem to wake up overnight and not love him? Isn't love a promise between life and death? Why can't I survive a night?"

Qi Qige was horrified when he heard the words.

After all, Kou Dan has relapsed from his old illness.

Her love is over.

What will happen to her?

So what about champions?

A myriad of thoughts crawled into my mind for a while, and Qi Qige was aphasia for a while.

"It seems that I saw him as cute yesterday, but recently he is no longer like a rabbit. He is now a masculine man, and he is less shy, but still cute." Kou Dan frowned, stretched out his hand and grabbed it at a loss. Qi Qige's clothes, "Why did it change today? Did I change? Or did he change? Why?"

how so?

Qi Qige thought coldly: Koudan, oh Koudan, you forgot, your nature is like this?

You used to spend a lot of money for the downcast children, and you were so sad for the noble prince that you cut your wrists and committed suicide. Every time you love is as vigorous as a river crossing the border, but after the flood, only a mess remains.

"If I sleep again, will I wake up and love him again?"

"Now I'm upset with him, I'm annoyed with his boredom, I'm annoyed with his words, I can always find a reason to annoy him—"

"How can this be? I love him, why should I bother him?"

Qi Qige looked at Kou Dan holding his head and muttering to himself continuously, as if he was suffering from a splitting headache, or as if he was terminally ill.

She was lost in a night, knowing that the previous station was bright daylight, but she didn't know why she fell into the endless and endless dark night in an instant, and she didn't know how to go back the same way, and she didn't know how long the next day would be. outside.

How about its style?

She was so sad and angry that she went mad with grief and anger, and even wanted to strangle this charming woman to death.

Kodan, how can you do this? !

You have the face I long for;

You hold the love of my life;

Someone loves you and loves you;

Someone pampers you;

If you want the wind and the rain, you will get the rain, and the brilliance is as bright as thousands of women's dreams gathered together.

But now-

You want to get out just by saying that you don't love me anymore?

Qiqige hated, envied, envied, resented, and suppressed his emotions for a long time.

But she said nothing.

She watched in silence as she drank alcohol into her throat, watched her cry two lines, watched her read the love letter over and over again, and became addicted to alcohol again and again.

"How could I be like this!"

"Why don't I love him! Why!?"

"Are I, Kou Dan, destined to be a ruthless person in this life? Why? Why can't I just love someone wholeheartedly?"

"I want to love him! I only want to love him!"

"Teach me, who can teach me how to find that love?"

She just watched her yelling and screaming, watching her screaming and crying helplessly, feeling both refreshed and painful in her heart.

In March, the number one scholar did not know that Kou Dan had read the love letter hundreds of times, every word and every sentence was reflected in his heart, and even the writing with a pen looked good; he did not know that she went to the restaurant to hang out with vulgar ordinary people, laughing and talking to herself every day There are all kinds of benefits from being the number one scholar; not to mention that she went back to the Huanyan Building many times, sitting on the edge of the bed, opening and closing eyes, it was scene after scene of meeting and falling in love, but it was like watching someone else's play, with no ripples in her heart.

Kodan was like a beast in a cage. She once struggled hard, waving her sharp claws and baring her fangs to bite, until she struggled all over her body till she was covered with scars.

"You divorce me."

On that day, Kou Dan uttered ruthless words, and Qi Qige saw her sitting in a daze for a long time, motionless.

Tears fell endlessly, entangled with her long hair and sticking to her face, she was so embarrassed, she didn't know that her life-and-death craving for spirits could numb people's hearts for a while.

One cup, one cup, another cup.

"Am I really a ruthless spirit who turned into a monster?" The wine was half over, and she lay weakly on the table, her eyes that were looking forward to being bright were misty, covered with a layer of desolation that shouldn't be there.

"People... how can there be someone like me?"

Kou Dan smiled foolishly: "Perhaps I shouldn't have been born in this world. What gold, silver and jewelry, what love, hate, and infatuation, they have passed my heart, but no one is willing to stay, and no one stays with me." me together."

"Qiqige." She called softly: "Why don't you cut me open and see for me whether I have a heart. Am I— am I a human?"

On the second day, the sun was shining brightly, and Yu Lingguang pushed the door open, only to see Kou Dan's hands covered in blood, holding a fragment of a vase in his hand, trying to dig out his heart.

"What are you doing!?"

Yu Lingguang was shocked, and rushed forward to snatch the fragments. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the bloodstains on Kodan's arms destroying the intact skin.

"I do not love you anymore."

Kou Dan's face was as white as snow, without a trace of snow, her brows were dull, and she repeated: "Scholar, my love is over."

"You divorce me."

"You don't want to love me alone anymore."

"My love is gone—"

She spoke such words, refused to eat and drink, and quickly became depressed in the course of time, lifeless.

Yu Lingguang failed to perceive her struggles, but felt pain, resentment and despair rushing up and swallowing him whole.

"Are you really - are you tired of me so much?" He couldn't believe it, he held her shoulder tightly and shook it desperately, and asked in a hoarse voice, "Why are you so heartless? We have only been married for half a year, why are you so heartless?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"What am I doing wrong?"

"Tell me, no matter what, I'll change it, okay?"

A sentence is more hopeless than a sentence, like falling into an abyss.

Kou Dan raised her chapped lips, "You are right, hello, you are so kind, but I won't love you anymore, do you understand?"

"I don't understand!" His eye circles were red, forgetting that the man was crying, he roared: "I don't understand! I don't understand anything! Why did you suddenly change your mind? Why are you like this? What are you thinking and afraid of! ? I don’t understand anything! I don’t understand at all! Why does it have to be like this?”

"That's the only way to go." Kou Dan sneered, "I, Kou Dan, don't know love. I love everything from emperors and generals to poor scholars, but I never love anyone for the second time. I love others for more than three months. When you have been sentient for a long time, you should be satisfied!"

"I don't believe it!" Yu Lingguang grabbed her face with both hands, almost crushing that beautiful face.

He gritted his teeth and said: "Could it be that the love in the past was just a dream? How can there be someone in this world who loves all the time and doesn't love overnight? Why are you like this?"

"You have the right to think that I, Kou Dan, have no heart, so divorce me." Kou Dan closed his eyes, tears falling.

"Delusion! You are delusion!" Yu Lingguang was also caught off guard and shed tears. He was so angry that his face was ferocious and no longer refined. He was a beast locked outside the cage. Rescued, but unsuccessful.

Qi Qige sees everything in his eyes.

She watched them revolt, and watched them tearfully look at each other, torturing themselves and each other.

Her heart ached, and she was crying silently.

I don't know whether she is crying for Kou Dan, for her Heyue, or for her Qiqige. The most ridiculous thing is that she doesn't even have the right to cry.

She can only watch all the time.

Quietly watching Heyue threatening each other with death, watching Kou Dan open his mouth to eat and recover gradually, and then——

Wandering among men of all colors.

Kou Dan seems to be that Kou Dan who is playing around in the world again, with a clever smile, a bohemian, and shameless.She didn't care about the face of the number one scholar at all, and played happily day and night, getting drunk, her eyes filled with broken ice, full of grief.

The number one scholar brought back Kou Dan, who was very drunk, with a cold face again and again. In the night, Kou Dan laughed and screamed and cursed. The shadows of the two were projected on the window, like ghosts with twisted limbs fighting together.

Qi Qige sat under the steps, watching and listening without saying a word.

No one was spared from this affectionate relationship, and they were all riddled with holes.

Fortunately, or unfortunately.

Most of the champions drink alone, and then add another one with his own style on the side.At the beginning, the two of them were silent, sitting quietly and drinking separately, and then they gradually started talking.

"The moonlight is perfect tonight."

"The bright soul rises in the sky and the mirror rises." Qi Qige said lightly.

The number one scholar also continued: "All the immortals in the clouds are silent."

The two looked at each other, and forced out a smile with bitterness and tears in the smile, the pain lingering.

From views on landscapes to poems and songs, the two of them are pretty much the same, so they gradually got acquainted and made an appointment to have a heart-to-heart talk.

But Qiqige is not Koudan after all.

The champion's eyes were dimming day by day, his body was thin, and he was no longer that elegant and elegant literati.

In April, Qi Qige ran into Kou Dan and other men in bed in Huanyan Building.

angry!furious.

happiness!Overjoyed.

Kou Dan has finally come to this step, and it is hard to get over it.

Qi Qige thought: from now on, the number one scholar should take back his love, and maybe he can give alms to the humble her.

However, when he returned home to see the number one scholar, he was very happy, and claimed that it was his birthday once a year, and the delicacies were prepared, and he was just waiting to bring Kou Dan back.

Qi Qige looked deeply at his cloudy eyes that should have been warm, his mind seemed to be torn apart piece by piece by life, and he threw it on the ground again, stepping on it viciously.He insisted on trampling her infatuation into thin slices.trampled to death.

Why?

Why do you still love her so much?

She willingly degenerates and hangs out among all kinds of men.

She has gone to Wushan with other men shamelessly.

Why are you still unwilling to let go of this love?

why do you-

Refuse to take a look at me?

No matter how small and humble I am, at least I love you with all my heart!

In Kodan, you are nothing but a pebble.

But here I am-

But in my place, the sun and the moon are you, the flowers and trees are you, the mountains and rivers are you, and the spring is also you.Everything in this world is you, and there is nothing but you.

Why don't you look at me?

At this moment, Qi Qige also decided to take that step that she couldn't take back.

She tried her best, and for the first time in her life, she took the initiative to grab Zhuangyuan Lang, handed him the drink that had been laced with medicine, and said with a smile, "Since it's your birthday, I'll take a glass of it."

The number one scholar also laughed, drank it all in one gulp, and moved his throat slightly.

Afterwards, there was a strong night of spring, lingering until death, like a bowl of wine before death.

He murmured Koudan's name, but she wept and mourned in the depths of his feelings; her tearful eyes dimly wrapped his lips, and the tears never stopped from beginning to end.

When I woke up the next day, half of my clothes were gone.

The champion is gone.

Qi Qige thought: He still left.

In any case, no matter how far she is qualified, he just wants to go, maybe even cut off his legs, he crawls—

I also want to climb towards Koudan.

She raised her eyes and saw Kodan who was drunk.

"I have a spring night with He Yuejun." Qi Qige grinned: "It's on this bed, the bed where you and him were lingering last year."

Kou Dan seemed to be drunk, she stared blankly, her eyes carefully took the messy bedding, Qi Qige who was naked all over her body, and Qi Qige's poignant smile into her eyes, and looked into her heart.

"Oh." She responded shortly.

Qi Qige casually threw the jade pillow towards her, "Why aren't you annoyed?! Why aren't you angry?!"

Kou Dan didn't hide, a small hole was punched out on her forehead, and blood trickled out, passing by her eye sockets, staining her eyes red.

She giggled.

The number one scholar appeared at the right time, without looking at his character, he just yelled for a doctor and took Kou Dan away.

Yu Qiqige sat alone on the bed and laughed.

The red quilt has not been changed, and the mandarin ducks on it cuddle up to each other, which is lifelike. She draws it carefully with her fingertips and giggles.

First giggling, then laughing.

She grabbed the quilt and pulled it vigorously, tearing it desperately, her eyes were vicious like ghosts.

This is the mandarin duck she embroidered——

This is the mandarin duck she embroidered stitch by stitch——

Tears rolled down.

She finally understood.

She finally understood that Yu Lingguang and Kou Dan were playing together, and she was making the play alone.Let her dig out her heart and lungs, cut her wrists and hang herself, after all, she will not be able to go to another scene, at most she will be watching from the outside, out of reach.

"Hahahahahaha!" Qi Qige let out a sharp laugh: "Hahahaha! None of us is better than anyone—"

"No one will be better—"

"Everyone wants it, life is better than death—"

In May of this year, Qiqige moved into the deserted courtyard and stopped interacting with others.

There were rumors in Zhuangyuan's mansion that the dilapidated small courtyard sometimes cried bitterly at night, as if there was nothing in his mind and heart, and he just thought about crying, crying with all his strength and life, and went straight to Cry in the direction of death.

The author has something to say:

emmmmm...

I really can't tell the difference between abuse and abuse

Kou Danqiqige and Yuejun are hard to describe in one word

Someone asked me whether Koudan hates the champion or hates himself

Someone also asked if Qi Qige hadn't been disfigured and was not in a brothel, would he be able to fall in love with the number one scholar?

I thought about it: I don't know

I only tell the story in my heart, you will naturally have your right and wrong black and white

As for the possibilities, that is theirs

Anyway—

Qiqige: I don't have my part anymore, right?

Me: In the end, you’re still here, it’s time for the champion

Qiqige: Okay, I'll take a break, I'm tired of watching and crying, you shouldn't write like this, shit

Me: You should cry like this, just like that!Shut up you!

PS: The writing of Gu Dan and abuse is a bit tiring

Clothes and clothes QIan animal disease delicate attack x cry chirp chirp counseling bag accept the road of recombination derived from self greatness drop a dream can be seen casually relax relax

PPS: I am so talented and diligent, are you sure you don't bookmark the column!Won't your conscience cry.jpg