Cai Wei

[Four]

I just knew that Changsha would not be the end of our commoner scholars, but I didn't know that it would be so fast to start again.

Perhaps I used to feel at ease with the determination of the Nationalist Party to defend against the enemy, but the retreating wars and the rising voices for peace are really chilling.

It seems that after the fall of Nanjing, people's hearts disappeared.Those people who had sharpened their knives and firmly believed that the war would definitely be won all said in panic and timidly that it would be better to seek peace at once, or to accept Japan's "gracious invitation" to "co-build the East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere".

Since 1840, when have we really cut off war with sums? !One war used tens of millions of taels of silver and countless treaties that humiliated the country to seek a moment of peace. What about two wars?three times?Until the country is eroded to the vast land, the skinny, hungry and cold people and the nobles who cook with flowers and flowers are struggling on the once fertile and rich soil; until they nourish and grow those insatiable blood-sucking insects , and then no longer able to resist the first artillery of the invaders.

not to mention!What's more, in the ten days after the fall of Nanjing, the Japanese army was so cold-blooded!

massacre!They are killing innocent civilians!Think of the blood of those defenseless people, think of the future they will no longer have, look into their dull eyes, what kind of person can say the words of peace? !

But there is nothing I can do.

There is no difference between me and those helpless ordinary people who are like fish on a chopping board, except that there is more ink in my stomach.

In this troubled world, I can't carry a gun, I can't command an army, I don't have money to donate to the country, and I don't have the right to influence the policy of the authorities.

I'm just a scholar, under the seven-foot green clothes, there are thin arms with few muscles, only the strength to hold a pen, and even a delicate throat, coughing uncontrollably.

I don't want to get farther and farther away from my hometown, but there is nothing I can do.

【Fives】

Today's sunshine is quite good, adding a touch of warmth to Changsha, which is gradually entering winter.

I separated from Lin Ximing in front of the temporary teaching building, listening helplessly to his words like "drink water often", "don't take off your coat for a while", "don't stand in the wind", half impatient and half He warmly waved away this noisy and annoying spirit, and watched the man's back in a navy blue Chinese tunic go away, but he still couldn't help the curve of his mouth.

I am no longer a noble young master, but he still treats me like the second young master of the Chang family who is dressed in gold and silver and spoiled.

In a daze, I saw him turn his head, and I could vaguely see him smiling.

I was suddenly reminded of the picture of memories. Ten years ago, I also looked at his back when he went to a foreign country, watched him walk halfway, and smiled at me back.

My past events are not as fancy as those on the street that rely on unimaginable plots to attract people.

I was born in a big family. According to the genealogy, one of my ancestors should be a collateral line. They broke away from the main family to make a living in Shanghai, but they got a lot of fame, but in the end they were richer and more prominent than the main family.

It’s just that when my ancestors were born, there were already signs of decline. The soft figure of Liyuan Xiaosheng attracted the jealousy of my uncles and squandered money. My father barely maintained the family property, but business talent is very important. In my generation, the population has declined.

The father has only two children, and the eldest brother has no intention of inheriting the business of a merchant and a merchant, but only wants to inherit the family property in order to make the beauty smile.I am not interested in doing business, but I want to read sage books.And the only one with a bit of business talent is Lin Ximing, who was adopted by his father.

It is impossible for the family to be handed over to someone with a different surname. My father was slightly partial to me among me and my elder brother, and let Lin Ximing, who was five years older than me, be my companion.

I never knew how Lin Ximing felt about his father's arrangement, but I only knew that my elder brother disliked me in every possible way.

When I was 12 years old, I slipped and fell into the water, and my throat got sick from then on.In winter, the water in the pool is bitterly cold, and I am not used to water. During the struggle, I only felt a warm body close to me. I was like a desperate person who fell into a deep well and saw a spider's thread, and hugged him madly. Hold the man until he leaves the cold water.

I don't want to say why I fell into the water, and my parents blamed me for being young and naughty.My mother always said that my temperament changed drastically after that incident, and the originally lively and intelligent child became indifferent and reticent.I never refuted, only Lin Ximing often made me quarrel like before without giving up, but I seldom paid attention to it.

Later, when I was 13 years old, I asked my father to let me go to study in Peking. My father agreed, but let me take Lin Ximing with me.

My father intended to train me and didn't give me too much property. I didn't care about it. At that age, I only needed books to read without sleeping.It’s just that Lin Ximing was very worried. During the day, when I was studying and studying a collection of Confucian classics and history with my husband, he would help people do the accounts and buy pork or half a chicken every now and then with some money to supplement my health.

Sometimes I would see him fascinated by reading my calculation book, pretending to mention it to him unintentionally, the young man who is about to win the crown with red ears fumbled and said that he was just watching for fun, I said that if he felt If you are interested, I can ask Mr. for a few more copies for him.Unexpectedly, his face became more and more red, and his expression was more embarrassing than when I accidentally ran into his nocturnal emission. He said that he couldn't read Chinese characters as if he was stuttering, and it would be an insult to the book if he bothered me to find a book for him.

I didn't say anything, but just responded lightly. People like Lin Ximing always seem to be in awe of ancient books like the Four Books and Five Classics from the bottom of their hearts.

Since then, I started to teach him calligraphy, just like my father told me to write when I was a child. I hugged Lin Ximing's shoulders from behind, put my hand on his fingers, and taught him how to move and write the pen.Lin Ximing has broad shoulders and a thin waist. He has a tight figure that works often. He is only practicing calligraphy, but he always seems to be very tense, and his back muscles are often tense and do not relax.

Later, the school opened a foreign language class, and I also taught him foreign language at the same time.He is a fast learner, and he especially likes the arithmetic knowledge from the West. I intentionally or unintentionally brought back some books on this subject as a reward. Meticulous attention to detail.

The peaceful days passed like this for several years, until the news of the fire in the ancestral house in Shanghai spread to Peiping.

The jewels and money disappeared, the corpses of the parents were charred and horrific, and the bones of the eldest brother were gone.

This memory is so dim that it is a little fuzzy, I only remember Lin Ximing who has been sitting with me for several nights, and the cup of hot tea that has never lost its temperature.

After straightening out the family affairs, Lin Ximing was exhausted. I watched his lips chapped from burns, his face pale and restless in sleep, but he still held my hand tightly, the temperature in his palm was hot but ironing.I sat by the bed and accompanied me until I gradually fell asleep leaning on the pillow, just like how Lin Ximing accompanied me every time I was sick in the past.The sense of dissociation that lost my roots disappeared in this good night's dream. When I woke up, I found that I had changed into pajamas, the mattress was tightly covered, and the person who should have a good rest was preparing breakfast for me.

I feel like I lost something and gained something back.

When Lin Ximing was 23 years old, I half-forced to spend most of my parents’ inheritance and entrusted the teacher’s kindness to send him to study in France.As I grew older, I gradually understood that his relationship with me was not the brotherly and brotherly relationship I expected, but... the relationship between a man and a woman.

I didn't intend to hurt him, so I had to stay away from him.It just so happens that science, which Lin Ximing loves and is quite talented, is more advanced in the West, and he uses this as a reason.

The day when he was sent to the boat was breezy, and he turned to look at me on the way, with a smile that I couldn't understand.

but……

Time passes.

I turned back my thoughts and walked towards the students who had been waiting for me. The sound of my early reading of "Manjianghong" was like a pipa.

In this troubled world, for me, fortunately, I have him by my side.

The author has something to say:

Wooooooow! [Sounds wanting to comment]