long thoughts

My name is Xu Changnian, an ordinary person, the most extraordinary thing I have done is a vigorous crush.This secret love lasted for more than ten years, from junior high school to the present.

I watched my favorite teenager grow, mature, and finally become someone else's lover.I wanted to cut my heart out countless times to show him, let him hear, let him know how hot my heart beat after meeting him, how loudly my blood flowed, like a barren desert A flower suddenly bloomed in the garden, and for a moment there was only joy and fear, wanting to get close, but afraid of knocking off the delicate flower.

If time can be turned back, I just want to meet my boy earlier, I am not afraid of sinking, not afraid of suffering, as long as I can see him one more time, I will be happy.On the paper and in my heart, I sketched and chewed his name stroke by stroke and countless times, as if at this moment he belonged to me and only to me.

My boy, when will you be able to perceive my heart?I desperately want you to feel it, touch it, respond to it, but I know you can't.So, as long as I stay with you and watch you like this, it will be fine.Long-term thoughts, long-lasting time, long-term thoughts, with you, my boy, Cai Yujing.

……

The first time I met Cai Yujing was during the self-introduction in junior high school.I think God is sometimes very unfair. Some people are born as luminous bodies, and they are dazzling and radiant wherever they go; Obviously Cai Yujing is the former, and I am the latter.

Cai Yujing is very handsome. Although he has not fully grown at this time, his facial features and height are there. As soon as he stepped onto the podium, there was already a small commotion below, and the girls couldn't hide their excitement. whispers.His voice is not the deep voice that is very popular now, but full of youthful vigor and a little embarrassment.

He is very white, so when he blushes, it will be obvious. This makes the girls more excited, and it also makes the boys feel a little bit complicated. I am no exception. I am envious of his hardware conditions, but at the same time I really want to be friends with him.Cai Yujing wrote his name on the blackboard. The crooked blackboard words and appearance formed a real contrast, but I don't know why I think it's so cute.Probably a seemingly perfect person suddenly exposed some innocuous flaws, which will make people feel closer.

I silently wrote down his hobbies, basketball, swimming, running and other sports, and playing games.Speaking of the last one, he looked back at the head teacher who was smiling and listening beside him. Everyone laughed tacitly, and he laughed too. He bowed and came down with his head down.It was also at this time that I realized he was sitting right behind me.

How to describe this feeling, there is an excellent person around me, and I feel as if I have been assigned some other people's attention, the eyes are gathering here, everyone is looking at him, will my small actions be discovered?The nervousness and uneasiness infected me a bit, but there was no time to calm down, because in the order from the front to the back, I was the next one.

I forgot all the drafts I had typed before, and I stiffly wrote my name on the blackboard. I only had time to say, please pay more attention, before slipping back to my seat.Before I could breathe a sigh of relief, Cai Yujing in the back seat suddenly poked me on the back. Countless thoughts flashed through my mind. Am I so nervous that I feel the same way?Said the wrong thing at the podium?The teacher in charge didn't look very well just now?But the body responded honestly, leaning back slightly.

"Your name is Xu Changnian? The name sounds nice, and the characters are beautiful!" Cai Yujing's voice came from behind, soft but clear. I felt my heart beating crazily, and my palms were sweaty. Knowing how to answer, I only heard my own voice answering mechanically, "Well, thank you, your name is also very nice." The heartbeat is too loud, will it be heard by others?

"Hey, that's great. It's not like my handwriting, which is too bad to be seen." Cai Yujing sighed, and then asked, "We will sit together in the future, can you teach me how to write better? "

"Yes, yes." Am I dreaming?Does this mean that I have a lot of opportunities to get along with him?

After getting an affirmative answer, I seemed to hear him heaving a sigh of relief.He didn't talk anymore, I was a little glad, but also a little disappointed.Because I don't know how to appear less rigid and indifferent, but I want to have more contact with him.

Yes, from the beginning to the end, all I want is just this little contact.

The author has something to say:

A short story on a whim, which should be finished soon.