long thoughts

Xu Qingqing's class is a little far away from ours, if she didn't look for her on purpose, she wouldn't have many chances to meet each other.Our class tends to be a key class, and the head teacher forces us to go to self-study in the morning and evening.And Xu Qingqing is a student in the ordinary class of the headquarters, the management is very loose, and the self-study is free.In order to be able to spend more time together, Cai Yujing often skipped self-study to accompany Xu Qingqing. The new class teacher wanted to take care of her, but Cai Yujing's grades did not decline, and she let it go after a long time.

I also don't want to go to self-study, but I don't have Cai Yujing's physique and fearless spirit, so I can only watch him come and go with envy.At that time, I always wondered what kind of thoughts I had towards Cai Yujing.I have an undoubted affection for him, but I dare not show it, and even smile and wish him and his girlfriend happiness.

I know that Cai Yujing is excellent, and that he is liked by many people, but what makes me different from them is that I also know a Cai Yujing who only I have ever seen.He will also be vulnerable and cry, and will need hugs and comfort from others, which makes me feel a sense of superiority that is unique in his heart.

I was deeply trapped in my own delusion and couldn't extricate myself. The affection called liking gathered together day and night, and it was magnificent day by day.I have written many ridiculous and poor love poems to store the muai that I have nowhere to put.Those specious words, the unspeakable thoughts that I want to confide, are forever sealed in the immature handwriting.

I also thought about whether I should be more vicious and manipulate Cai Yujing's trust in me, hoping that the unsatisfactory love will bring our friendship closer.I envied Zhou Yirou, at least she can declare her possessiveness towards Cai Yujing to everyone, and she can defend the feelings she wants as a matter of course.

But I can't.

So I can only carefully maintain my status as a close friend, do the most appropriate thing in my position, and enjoy it.Isn't that what secret love is like, I like you, but it has nothing to do with you.

I unconsciously wrote and drew on the draft paper, and when I came back to my senses, I realized that I had written Cai Yujing on a whole sheet of paper.Calmly crumpled the paper and stuffed it into the desk. I just took out a book of exercises and planned to do my homework seriously, when I suddenly saw Cai Yujing arrive in the classroom during evening self-study for the first time and sat down on the seat.

I looked back at him, thinking he was coming back to get something, so I casually asked why you came here.Cai Yujing didn't answer, and took out his homework, paper and pen with great movements, his whole body revealing that I'm in a bad mood and don't bother me.

I feel a little baffled, thinking that nothing special has happened recently, so there is only one possibility.I probably guessed the reason, I didn't bother Cai Yujing, and turned around silently, when Cai Yujing calmed down and wanted to talk, he would naturally come to me.

After the first session of self-study, Cai Yujing poked me with a pen, I was a little happy in my heart, I quickly turned around, pretending to be helpless, "Have you quarreled with Xu Qingqing?"

Cai Yujing nodded frantically, "You are smart, old Xu, you can guess all of this!" He was still in the mood to make a joke, so it seems that the situation is not very serious.Then I felt relieved and asked, "What's the noise?"

Cai Yujing thought for a while, then hesitated and said, "I don't know too well. Just now I was explaining a math problem to her. It wasn't very difficult, but there was one point that was difficult to think of. I told her several times and she didn't listen. I understand, just tell her to be serious, what if maths drags you down and you can't go to high school with me."

After a pause, Cai Yujing scratched his head, "I can't remember the original words, but it probably meant this. I think my words are very gentle, neither angry nor impatient, but I don't know which sentence offended her , I didn’t lie down and talk when I put the pen down. I admitted my mistake and apologized but didn’t respond, and I pulled her over to find that she was crying.”

"Girls are really made of water. When they cry, I panic and don't know what to do."

To be honest, I don't really know why, so I can only speculate conservatively, "Could it be that the study pressure is too great recently, Xu Qingqing's study is not as good as you, maybe she is too worried that she won't be able to be with you in high school... "Speaking of the latter, my voice lowered involuntarily.Xu Qingqing is like this, so why not me.

Cai Yujing sighed, "I think so too. I don't want to force her, but I'm in a hurry. If she's worried, I'm not worried." After speaking, he beckoned me to listen to him, and after I did so, he whispered Said, "Actually, I have also thought about it. If Xu Qingqing fails to pass the key points in the high school entrance examination, I will go to ordinary high school with her."

It's hard for me to describe how I felt at that time, the overwhelming jealousy gnawed at my heart like ants.Such a long chase has become a joke at this moment. I am like a passerby who has fallen from a high altitude in a dream, struggling in panic, and constantly begging to wake up from this terrible imagination.

Cai Yujing saw that my expression was wrong, and waved his hand in front of my eyes to signal me to regain consciousness, "What's the matter, old Xu? Is it so surprising? In fact, I don't care which school I go to, although key high schools are better. But I was at the middle level when I got in, and I was in the top few in ordinary high schools. And the management of key high schools is also strict, so it may not be that good. I have thought about everything, so you don’t have to worry.”

what about me?I asked in my heart.Is there no place for you in your future plans?

Seeing Cai Yujing's surprised expression, I realized that he had spoken his heart inadvertently.It is impossible to take back what I said. I felt that I had lost my composure, so I packed up my mood and prepared to turn around to avoid embarrassment.Cai Yujing grabbed me, with guilt and embarrassment on his face, "I'm not afraid of your jokes when I say it, and I really want to go to high school with you. Your grades are good enough, but I can't be affected by my affairs. When it comes to you, I can’t ask you to go to Pugao with me. And I asked you before, you don’t seem to like Pugao very much.”

This twist and turn is as exciting as a roller coaster.I tried my best to recall whether Cai Yujing asked me about going to high school before, but I still couldn't remember.However, I have always been firm in my wish to go to the key points together with Cai Yujing, how could I expect this to happen.Therefore, no matter how he asks, he will definitely not be able to ask me about my intention to go to Pugao.

After thinking it through, I felt a lot more relieved, let the grades and the school go to hell!As long as I can see Cai Yujing every day, where can I go?Thinking like this in my heart, the words out of my mouth are completely opposite, "I understand your thoughts, but you can't make fun of life. How many people want to get to the key points but can't get to the top, and you still don't go to it. Xu Qingqing doesn't like mathematics You can help her make up other subjects first, the key score line is not to meet the standard in every subject, there is still hope for the total score!"

Cai Yujing wanted to talk, but was stopped by my homeroom teacher's lectures like possessing a body. I didn't give up until he was repeatedly promised to focus on the key points.

Just kidding, I can't be in vain after studying hard for so long. Regardless of whether Xu Qingqing can get to the point in the end, at least she must experience the vastness of the sea of ​​learning as seriously as I do.With Xueba, how can I not love to study, I thought bitterly.

The author has something to say:

I also want to have a friend who is a good student, who urges me to study every day, until many years later, I wear a doctor's hat and take a scholarship to invite her to dinner.