long thoughts

When the senior high school entrance examination came, I found that I was not as nervous as I thought.There are no mistakes and no extraordinary performance. If the final score is the same as the usual mock test, then I should be able to get in with the key points.

Because the exam room was different, I didn't meet Cai Yujing very often.Everyone came and left after the exam, and I couldn't inquire about his situation from others, but to be honest, I didn't think there was anything to worry about.Until the last subject was finished and all the burdens were relieved, I stopped thinking about how the test was going, and couldn't wait to go back to the classroom to see Cai Yujing.

Cheers and laughter were everywhere in the corridor going back, and the relaxed atmosphere infected everyone.I walked into the classroom with a smile on my face that I didn't know when, and I saw Cai Yujing as soon as I looked up.Sitting in his old position, he looked out of place with the carnivaling classmates around him.The contrast was too strong, I stopped and planned to go around from behind to scare him.

However, as soon as I touched behind him, Cai Yujing looked back in response, and the plan died prematurely.I sat back in my seat resentfully, "You have eyes behind your back? You turned your head before I approached you."

Cai Yujing hooked the corners of his lips, and smiled with a bit of sarcasm. "That's right, your every move is watched behind my back, and I warn you, don't mess around." I shrugged my shoulders to show my innocence, and changed the subject: "How did you do in the exam, are you okay?"

Cai Yujing was packing the stationery, his hands kept moving, and he nodded absently, "It's okay, the topics are all the same."

However, after waiting for a long time before Cai Yujing could say another word, I felt something was wrong with Cai Yujing.Instead, after the usual exams, Cai Yujing could talk non-stop about the questions in the test paper, questioning the level of the teacher who gave the questions, and complaining about the questions he couldn't solve.Only when he failed the exam or when he had something on his mind would he not be in the mood to speak, and he would simply say two or three perfunctory sentences, and his thoughts were written on his face, making it easy to guess.

If it's the former, Cai Yujing's tone wouldn't be like this, it can only be the latter, he must have something to hide from me that I don't want to say.Anyway, the most important exams at this stage are over, and I thought there was nothing to worry about, so I asked directly: "What happened?"

Hearing my question, Cai Yujing's movements suddenly slowed down a beat, and the pen in his hand slipped from his fingers, making a crisp crashing sound.He quickly bent down to pick up the pen and put it in the pencil case.Maybe he took advantage of this short period of time to think about it, Cai Yujing said in a calm tone: "It's nothing, I just broke up with Xu Qingqing."

"How could it be?! When did it happen?" Surprised, I couldn't control my strength and slapped the table. Fortunately, the classroom is extremely noisy and noisy, and the students around me just glanced at it and then withdrew their attention.

Cai Yujing kept his head down from just now, as if he didn't want anyone to see the expression on his face. "Just a while ago. Don't gossip about Xu Changnian. If you have this skill, why not think about where to go after the exam."

This way of changing the topic is too blunt, I don’t want to be fooled by it, and then asked: “Some time ago you said that you had a fight with Xu Qingqing, and you were very normal after that, it couldn’t have been broken up at that time. I’m not a fool, Cai Yujing, tell the truth, when did you break up?" I didn't want to gossip, let alone watch his jokes, I just wanted peace of mind.

I can see Cai Yujing's every move. He hasn't acted abnormally these days. Either he pretended too well, or he just got divided in the past few days of the exam.I don't believe that Cai Yujing can hide his emotions so well, but I can't even believe that they will break up during the high school entrance examination. How much impact will this have on the examination?Are they all kidding about their future?

Cai Yujing packed up the stationery, threw it in the drawer, looked up at me in frustration, and told the truth, "June NO.19."

June NO.19, the day before the senior high school entrance examination, is also the time I least want to hear.

"Are you crazy? Who brought this up first?" I knew I was being aggressive, but I couldn't help myself, trying to figure out what it was that cost them so much to separate.

The surrounding area is very noisy, so noisy that I can't think, I can't calm down.I was angry with them for being childish enough to use the senior high school entrance examination as a prop for anger, angry at myself for not discovering the gaps and gaps between them earlier, and even more angry at why fate always played tricks on Cai Yujing, pushing him down from the mountain peak to the bottom of the valley time and time again.In addition, there are more secret and unspoken thoughts hidden under the anger, and I don't want to think about it.

Cai Yujing shook his head and motioned me to look at the door with his eyes, "The teacher is here, we'll talk about it later." I didn't say anything, and sat quietly on the seat, listening to the teacher talk about the safety of the last holiday, and sent blessings and farewell resignation.

The sadness of graduation slightly dilutes everyone's joy after the exam, the voice in the classroom gradually quiets down, and the loss of parting sweeps everyone's heart.I can finally free up my mind to think about the future. Cai Yujing has the strength. If he can adjust his mentality, even if he is not in the best state, it shouldn't be too difficult to focus.The worst outcome would be Cai Yujing's abnormal performance and going to ordinary middle school.This matter has nothing to do with me during the exam, I have not been affected in any way, and if there is no accident, I can get the key points.

If I had changed before, I would have chosen to be with Cai Yujing without hesitation, regardless of the final result.But now I am shaken, and I realize how narrow my vision is, I can only see the present, not the future: I thought that Cai Yujing and Zheng Kexin would be together forever, and then they separated; I once thought that Cai Yujing would be with Xu Qingqing Together forever, they also parted.I only knew that I would relax after the exam, but I didn't think about what would happen in the future.But now I want to be with Cai Yujing forever, can I achieve my wish in the distant future?

I began to seriously consider the possibility of breaking up with Cai Yujing, so that I would not be worried about my strange feelings being discovered by others all the time, and I would not feel sad because Cai Yujing was with others, because Cai Yujing Jing broke up and was secretly happy.Even though I don't want to admit it, when I heard Cai Yujing say they broke up, I was shamefully elated for a moment.I am fed up with this kind of hopeless and endless expectation. I know in my heart that this feeling cannot be answered.

If I voluntarily give up, is it all over? "Forever" does not exist, we will be separated one day, short-term pain is worse than long-term pain.

I looked back at Cai Yujing, and I just wanted to draw his appearance deeply in my mind.Cai Yujing noticed my gaze, and subconsciously smiled at me. In an instant, I was afraid that all the hesitation would disappear in this smile.Hearing the sound of my heart blooming, I quickly turned my head to hide my blushing, and reached out to touch my cheek, feeling the real heat.

I gave up, and the villain in my heart laughed at me presumptuously: Admit the reality, Xu Changnian, you are reluctant.

The author has something to say:

Middle school is over, high school is over.I feel that this is more than just a short story, after all there are university and work orz

In fact, most of the people, things or places in the article have been borrowed from my own experience. Only at that time will I have the purest love and the most innocent future plan. Thinking about it now, I feel naive and unbelievable.But it's only once, foolishly believing and persisting.