martyrdom

Coming out of the coffee shop, Yu'er never let go of Yuan Fei's hand.Yuan Fei walked forward with her hands like this, originally wanting to recall Yu Er's words and deeds in the coffee shop, but now her mind was left blank, and Yu Er didn't let go of her until the two of them walked to the car.

Seeing Yu'er stepping forward to open the door of the driver's cab, she hurriedly stopped her: "You didn't rest well last night, so let me open it."

Yu'er held the car door and smiled at her: "Do you know the way?"

"I... can set up a navigation."

Yu'er let go of the car door, and patted her on the shoulder reassuringly: "It's okay, I'm fine, especially... when you're sitting next to me."

Seeing that she was being molested again, Yuan Fei didn't insist anymore, and went around the front of the car and got on the co-pilot.

The bookstore is in a nearby business district, not far away, but there was a traffic jam on the road, and it was already lunch time when we arrived.Seeing that she looked like she hadn't digested her breakfast and coffee, Yu'er took her to find a restaurant to eat casually, and went straight to the bookstore.

The bookstores in the university town are more literary and artistic than the commercialized bookstores in the urban area, and this newly opened one is one of the best.With an area of ​​[-] square meters on two floors, the interior is filled with the fragrance of books, and the sound of light music is melodious, which makes two book lovers feel excited in the tranquility.

Yu'er seemed to have been here before, so he led her to the second floor familiarly.When going up the stairs, he explained: "Except for the new bookshelf on the first floor, there are some popular science and reference books. There are many literary works on the second floor, and there is also a reading area. I will come and sit when I have time on weekends."

Yuan Fei nodded, recalling the rhetoric Yu Er used to fool her, and asked, "Didn't you say it's newly opened?"

"...newly opened a year ago."

The two slowly climbed up the spiral staircase side by side, and they had a panoramic view of the second floor.The display and division of the bookshelves has an irregular beauty. Along the semi-open railing is a circle of wooden tables and chairs. A few people are sitting sparsely. The faint light of the desk lamp illuminates the square inch of each table.

It really is a different bookstore, and Yuan Fei liked it very much before browsing carefully.

"Let's go shopping, I'll look for a book first, and I'll wait for you there later." Yu'er pointed to the empty table in the corner, wrapped her arms around Yuan Fei's slender waist calmly, and walked forward. deliver.Yuan Fei walked towards the books with her strength, without looking back, but Yu'er still carefully noticed her abnormally red earlobes.

Smiling without trace, Yu'er stared at the back of her walking out for a while, and then went to look for the book.

Yuan Fei wandered among the rows of bookshelves, her fingertips slid across the spines of the neatly arranged books, until she reached the end of the bookshelf.After getting out of the bookshelf, I found that there is a small stage on the second floor, which can be used as a signing event or a reader meeting.There is a glass wall behind the stage, and there is an open-air platform outside, with blue sky and tall buildings, and the scenery is good.

A thought came to her, she took out her mobile phone, and sent a WeChat message to the editor: Sis, is the draft finalized?When will the factory print?

After a while, she received a reply from the editor: Next week, according to the circulation arranged by the company, it will be printed for about three days.

Yuan Fei looked up at the stage in front of her, as if she was making a difficult decision, and sent a thoughtful message after a while: I want to hold a signing event.

After waiting for 1 minute and no response, Yuan Fei felt that it was not normal.She is also considered a little famous, so many people wanted to see her true face, and the company had arranged for her before, but she refused them all.This time she took the initiative to mention it, would she not agree?

Confused, the editor called directly.Yuan Fei quickly turned off the bell and walked to the open-air platform, only to pick it up after walking out.The editor's voice on the other end of the phone sounded a little excited: "Are you finally thinking about it? With your appearance, are you afraid of losing fans when you hold a book signing? I was almost scolded to death by my boss for pushing three times and pushing four times before."

Yuan Fei chuckled lightly: "I have a condition. I will decide the location of the signing event. Sister Xu, please help me to ask. Is this okay?"

"What good place did you see?"

Yuan Fei thought for a while, but this bookstore seemed to have no name, so she said, "I'll send you the address later."

Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around and found that Yu'er was walking towards her with a book in hand, and quickly said to the phone: "I still have something to do, let's contact on WeChat later."

"Okay, I have news for you."

After hanging up the phone, Yu'er had already walked up to him: "I'll hide here when you don't see anyone for a long time."

Yuan Fei raised her chin: "What book did you take?"

Yu'er lifted the book up and watched her reaction with a smile.Only then did she realize that what Yu'er took was a novel she published the year before last.

Yuan Fei raised his forehead: "You have found all of this."

"I see... your pseudonym is interesting, I noticed it right away." Yu'er held the book in one hand, and led her back with the other, "Try to see if you can finish reading it in an afternoon."

On the table in the corner, the two sat opposite each other.Yu'er was reading her book, and she took a travel note and flipped through it casually, sneaking a look at Yu'er's expression from time to time, hoping to get a hint of the feedback she wanted from it.As a result, Yu'er was too calm, with no expression on his face from beginning to end, but only focused on reading. According to the speed of turning pages, he should be carefully reading word by word.

The good reading time ended in the WeChat message sent by the editor. Yuan Fei raised the corners of her lips in satisfaction when she saw the affirmative reply above.Yu'er raised her head from the book, stretched her neck, and pouted at her: "Not paying attention."

I don't know if the three light words are accusing her of playing with her mobile phone at the moment, or the seemingly invisible peeping before.

Yuan Fei smiled noncommittally, leaned over and asked her, "Where did you see it?"

This question seemed to have ignited the fuse, causing Yu'er to look at her with passion in her eyes: "You stepmother, you are really ruthless when you write."

"I don't see any reaction from you." Yuan Fei used this to refute Yu'er's accusation, but Yu'er caught the handle all of a sudden, and looked at her leisurely: "Whether I have a reaction, how do you know?"

Yuan Fei turned her head to the railing, pretending to look at the scene on the first floor.Yu'er was dissatisfied and complained to her: "Hey, don't ignore me. Didn't you just stare at me and couldn't move your eyes?"

Yuan Fei became furious and turned her head to stare at her: "If you know it, ask."

Only then did Yu'er laugh: "I want to hear you admit it yourself."

Yuan Fei continued to speak stiffly: "I just want to see the readers' feedback on my work." Seeing Yu'er still looked at her jokes after she finished speaking, she forcibly changed the subject, "...So what do you think?"

Yu'er stared at her for a few more seconds, as if she was making a decision. After a long time, she said slowly: "Although I haven't seen the ending yet, all the plot developments so far, sweet and sad, are all It's preparing for the final destruction. Am I right?"

Yuan Fei hummed as affirmation, opened her mouth to explain something, but said nothing.

"I don't know what you think," Yu'er closed the book, put away her smile and looked at her seriously, "Do you think that destruction is a thought-provoking way of expression? But there are many places in your plot, I can see your hesitation, but every time you never gave a chance, you resolutely chose to destroy. When you recite the butcher knife and recite the Buddha, what makes you insist on choosing the butcher knife? Is it because you have not experienced beauty, or experienced Too much despair, so let your heart become as cold and hard as it is now?"

Yuan Fei looked at the person in front of her, and suddenly felt that her every word was like a sharp sword that was caught off guard, making her powerless to parry.She was obviously asking a question, but the question was so sharp that she couldn't answer it.

Yu'er looked at her fixedly: "Yuan Fei, to be honest, I don't want to read any more. If the next development is as I expected, then this book cannot be considered a good book."

After one sentence was finished, only the rustling of pages remained in the huge bookstore.This time they looked at each other without tenderness due to the conflict of ideas, but Yuan Fei still felt full of charm.

Yuan Fei could no longer see clearly what was in her heart at the moment.She should be angry, at least she should be unhappy, but looking directly at those clear and straightforward eyes at this moment, her heart is actually calm, she just wants to continue looking at each other, just looking at each other until the sea is dry and rocks are rotten.

But Yu'er turned her eyes away.

She stood up and said softly: "Sorry, I said too much. But I hope you can think about what I just said carefully, and you should be able to understand what I mean."

Yuan Fei raised his head and looked at her blankly.

"Let's go, although I won't read it, I will buy this book."

It was late at night, and Yu'er sat at the table and finished flipping through the book she said she would not read, closed her eyes to hold back the tears that were about to burst into her eyes, and turned off the lamp.

There was only one dimly lit wall lamp left in the room.

Yu'er stretched out her hand to caress the cover of the book, her fingertips rested on the words "so it is so", unwilling to leave for a long time.

Thank you for your hobby of writing books, so that I can understand your heart through your works.But Yuan Fei, I really don't have confidence.

From the moment I first saw you, I have exhausted so much courage, from words to actions, and I am also ecstatic for your non-rejection.

If you don't refuse, it means that you have not thought about it, and you have to deal with it instinctively.I am very glad that your instincts are all partial to me, but instincts are also inseparable.So I went abroad to compete on behalf of the debate team, and brought you to the bookstore to give you an afternoon of quiet time.

But I found that you still refuse to think and continue to treat with instinct.I can feel the temperature of your palm holding me, I can also feel your eyes on me, but I can feel your confusion and alienation, even your escape.

Avoid thinking, avoid accepting, avoid responding, avoid taking initiative.

You should think about the reason I ran into your arms, think about the hand I stretched out to you that night, think about those casual temptations, think about the breakfast I made for you, think about the deliberate pause before I said the word girlfriend, Think also of the tin lilies I sent you, and the wish-so-flowers written in the note inside.

But you are lazy in thinking, probably because you are afraid that your hard thinking will be fruitless, and you are worried that your wishes will not be fulfilled.I have no choice but to pierce your indifference and hardness to force you to think, play games with you in the most adventurous way, and spend every day and night after that, longing for your reply.Because only if you respond, we have endless possibilities for the future.

Yuan Fei, I hope you can understand that I have exhausted all my talents and intelligence just to get close to you.

That's it.

The author has something to say:

Emmm...

The plot of this chapter refuses to complain.

Because there is a foreshadowing, you will understand after seeing it.