You who walk against the light

If the body of the person in your arms is cold, unable to move, speak, emotion or think, no matter how delicate and perfect the skin is, it will be meaningless, everything is just a puppet.

Life should not be afraid of shortcomings, people and things with regrets are often more cherished.

It is not easy to come by, but it is naturally regarded as a treasure.

Zhong Kaifan stretched out his hand, gently caressed Lin Yuan's cheek, and pressed it against his forehead. When he closed his eyes, tears fell down uncontrollably.He wanted Lin Yuan to live, to be able to laugh, to be angry, to complain, not to be like a puppet.

Lin Yuan couldn't help reaching out and hugging him tightly, "Kaifan, what's wrong with you? Why are you sad?"

Zhong Kaifan has never been so vulnerable in front of Lin Yuan. After that anonymous email appeared, he couldn't sleep well every day.He was afraid, he was terribly afraid, what would Lin Yuan do if these things were exposed again?

Some hurts cannot be healed by love.

Zhong Kaifan has already learned this truth very thoroughly.

Wound recovery requires opportunity, time and kindness, and a friendly environment from the outside world. Personal will is not omnipotent.

Tears and snot mixed together, Zhong Kaifan cried in a panic, not at all like the high-spirited him.His wrists trembled uncontrollably, and he gently stroked the back of Lin Yuan's neck, but he couldn't tell him these things.

Zhong Kaifan endured the colic in his heart and let the tears fall.

Lin Yuan took out a tissue from his pocket and gently wiped his tears, his eyes were wet unconsciously, "Kaifan, do you miss me too much?"

Zhong Kaifan closed his eyes, snorted closer, and kissed Lin Yuan with tears in his eyes, his movements were extremely gentle, as pious and careful as a teenager's first kiss.He kissed Lin Yuan's forehead, brow bone, nose bridge, and cheek, his breathing was a little unsteady, and he breathed against Lin Yuan for a long time, and said the sentence that he hadn't said in ten years: "A Yuan, I love you."

Zhong Kaifan closed his eyes, tears continued to flow down, "Sorry, the birthday present was brought forward."

He held Lin Yuan's cheeks, and was even afraid that he would never have the chance to say these words again. The three words "I love you" are not hypocritical. If they are sincere and tested by time, they are pious and beautiful three words.

Zhong Kaifan choked up and said, "From now on, we will celebrate our birthday every day."

Lin Yuan's tears flowed down uncontrollably, "What's wrong with you today? It's strange." He leaned on Zhong Kaifan's shoulder, patted his back lightly, and asked in a calm tone, "Are you under too much pressure from work? "

Zhong Kaifan responded: "Well, a little bit."

Lin Yuan comforted: "The equity competition has come to an end, and the two of us will get better and better in the future. Really, Kaifan, you have to believe that there are still many beautiful things in this world."

"You used to say that I believed in weird things." Lin Yuan's eyes were clear, and he said slowly: "I don't believe in weird things, but in everything that is wished. For example, coins, bamboo sticks, Kongming lanterns, or even The cap of the yogurt bottle." He smiled, "Even if there is no 'one more bottle' written on the cap, isn't there still the word 'thank you for your patronage'? Just listening to 'thank you' makes the world feel so warm. "

Zhong Kaifan suppressed his emotions, "You always like to move yourself."

Lin Yuan frowned: "That's the bad thing about you, you especially like to spoil the scenery."

Zhong Kaifan cleared his throat, "I don't like the word 'thank you'. I like you. I love what you like. It would be a blessing if I could see the other side of the world through your life. .”

The two embraced tightly, and Zhong Kaifan saw a group photo of the glass cabinet from Lin Yuan's ear, which was taken when he and Lin Yuan were 19 years old.The two teenagers wore loose white T-shirts and sat on the parallel bars on the playground. They kept a certain distance, but Lin Yuan turned his head a little towards Zhong Kaifan.The two people in the photo are young and energetic, with bright smiles, and they are as clean as a piece of white paper.

The person who helped them take this photo was Zhong Can.

Lin Yuan went to school a year earlier than Zhong Kaifan. When he was 19 years old, he was a sophomore. Although Zhong Kaifan was one year older than him, he was still at the same level.They were already together at that time, and Zhong Can was in his third year of high school, so he took his Sunday afternoon break to visit his brother at Peking University Health Science Center.

Zhong Kaifan remembered that this photo was printed out by Zhong Can and put in a frame, in duplicate.Lin Yuan's copy is at home, and Zhong Kaifan's is in the family building of the hospital, which is the painting that Lin Yuan first saw.After the two broke up, this photo was the only thing left between them. Zhong Kaifan didn't throw away the photo frame, but just covered the photo with white paper, and put Lin Yuan's previous watercolor painting.

For a long time, Zhong Kaifan felt that as long as he did not see the people in the photo, he would not think of Lin Yuan and Zhong Can.

After many years, Zhong Kaifan saw this photo frame at Lin Yuan's house, and Zhong Kaifan still thought of Zhong Can. He was sad and speechless. After a while, he said, "Ah Yuan, can I have a look at this photo frame?"

Lin Yuan followed his line of sight to look back, and also found the group photo, his eyes were hot, "Yes." As he spoke, he pushed open the glass door with ease, so that Zhong Kaifan could see it more clearly.

Zhong Kaifan reached out and took the photo frame in his hand, and found that the edge of the wooden photo frame was a little cracked.

Lin Yuan said: "It must have been too long. This photo has been kept at home and no one has touched it."

Zhong Kaifan didn't speak, his fingers accidentally touched the turnbuckle on the back of the photo frame, and something tiny fell off.Zhong Kaifan turned the photo frame over and saw that the plastic knobs on the back of the photo frame were also aging, and two of them fell off just now.Soon, the supporting compression plate fell on the floor, and the photo fell with a 'crash'. Fortunately, Zhong Kaifan pinched the glass, otherwise the photo frame would have broken.

He knelt down, gently picked up the photo, and subconsciously flipped it over.

There was silence in the air, and realizing that Zhong Kaifan hadn't stood up, Lin Yuan squatted in front of him and asked, "What's wrong?"

Zhong Kaifan raised his red eyes: "A Yuan, do you know that there are words behind the photo?"

Lin Yuan shook his head, looked at his palm, and saw Zhong Can's familiar handwriting——

"A Yuan:

I have entrusted my brother to you, you must take good care of him for me, and you must not make him sad.He has a bad temper, please bear with him.But my brother is actually a very kind-hearted person.

When I was young, because of my appearance, I deprived my elder brother of what belonged to me. I never had the courage to say 'I'm sorry' to him face to face. From my point of view, I couldn't hate my parents, because they really love me.If possible, please allow me to solemnly say to my brother on behalf of my parents: sorry.

Now that brother has you, I can feel a little relieved.

please.

Zhong Can"

Zhong Kaifan buried his face in his arms, his back trembled uncontrollably, and his voice choked up: "It's not Zhong Can's fault, why did he say sorry..."

Lin Yuan stretched out his hand and hugged him, tears streaming down silently, the last words that Zhong Can said when the car accident happened rang in his ears: "Fortunately, you are fine, otherwise brother would be so sad..."

But Zhong Can never thought that his departure would also be a fatal blow to Zhong Kaifan?

Maybe Zhong Can didn't have time to think so much at the moment when he was racing against the god of death.His love for Zhong Kaifan is more like an instinct, a habit.

Zhong Can is a child who grew up surrounded by love, and Zhong Dingheng indirectly placed his debt to his eldest son on Zhong Can.In order to avoid mistakes, Chen Li treats Zhong Can better than Zhong Ziming.Amei is also a passionate person. Although Zhong Ziming was not talkative when he was young, Zhong Can was kind to others. Zhong Can was Zhong Ziming's best friend.

Before the results of the 18-year-old college entrance examination came out, Zhong Can's world was full of love and friendliness. No one harbored ill intentions towards him, even Zhong Kaifan loved him.But Zhong Can is also a very sensitive person, he can sense the guilt hidden under his father's stern face, the uneasiness in his mother Chen Li's heart, even Amei's cautiousness, Zhong Ziming's pain under the fence, and more!There is also the loneliness under the indifferent appearance of the elder brother Zhong Kaifan.

In the first 18 years of life, what life Zhong Can lived and what life Zhong Ziming lived can be said to be worlds apart.How should Zhong Can face this extremely complicated family relationship.At that time, Zhong Kaifan had already gone to college, and basically didn't come back very often, and knew little about family affairs.Zhong Dingheng and Chen Li's husband and wife almost tore their faces when they faced the truth, but neither of them had the courage to face their mistakes

.

After the college entrance examination, Zhong Can talked about it with Zhong Ziming, and he felt that he had suffered too much wrong love.At first, I thought I was only in debt to Zhong Kaifan, but now it seems that things are far worse than imagined.

But Zhong Ziming said: "I don't want to recognize that family, you just treat it as my gift to you." Finally, he said: "I have a mother."

Zhong Can's eyes were wet: "Is it wrong to make mistakes?"

Zhong Ziming asked him: "Is there a better choice than this now?" His eyes were gloomy: "Speaking of which, who cares about such parents!"

Zhong Can felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. He wanted to defend his parents because he didn't feel like that, but he opened his mouth and seemed unable to speak.It turns out that adults are also afraid of facing mistakes, and use the method of redemption to alleviate the debt of conscience.

This kind of love is more selfish.

At the end, Zhong Ziming asked softly: "Can you promise me a request?"

Let alone one, one thousand, ten thousand, Zhong Can also agreed.

Zhong Ziming turned his face to look at Zhong Can, his face was fair, his eyes were red, and he said word by word: "You are Zhong Kaifan's younger brother well, and I am very happy to see him treat you well."

Only this kindness made Zhong Ziming feel that it originally belonged to him.

Although Zhong Kaifan never looked at Zhong Ziming directly since he was a teenager, he was cold and distant, but after knowing the truth, Zhong Ziming was a little relieved.If it weren't for the complicated fate, Zhong Kaifan would definitely treat himself like Zhong Can.

Pulling the timeline back to the frame of the car accident many years ago, due to the continuous blood loss, Zhong Can's body temperature began to drop, and even the beating of his heart began to slow down.There was a bloody smell in the darkness, but it made him feel extremely relieved.

A voice quietly sounded from the bottom of Zhong Can's heart: finally freed.

With hot love and sorrow, I can finally leave with peace of mind and no longer have to struggle.

That year, Zhong Can was 20 years old.

After a long time, when Zhong Kaifan's mood eased a bit, Lin Yuan said, "If you hadn't shown it today, I wouldn't even know that there are words on the back of this photo."

The two found chairs and sat down. Zhong Kaifan restored the photo frame, found glue to replace the broken knob, and carefully fixed the compression baffle, "Because there is no word behind my photo."