You who walk against the light

The next day was still a working day, Lin Yuan didn't want to trouble Dr. Cheng to come over on the weekend, and was about to go to the hospital, so he called Li Meng: "Are you using the car today?"

Li Meng was sleeping late at home, and Chen Nan was in the bedroom next door. She rubbed her eyes, "Where are you going, I'll take you there." Apart from the nanny's car for the announcement, Lin Yuan bought a private car, but he usually drove it himself. Not much, he left the car with Li Meng.

Lin Yuan smiled and asked, "Haven't you woke up yet?"

Li Meng quickly yawned, "I got up."

Lin Yuan said: "Don't worry, I'll be waiting for you, I won't travel far, I want to go around alone."

Li Meng got up quickly, "Okay, I'll be downstairs at your house later, and I'll send you a WeChat message."

After hanging up the phone, Li Meng quickly washed up. As an assistant, he was more tired than an artist.Not to mention that Lin Yuan had to rest, Li Meng couldn't stand the long-term rotation.Before going out, she left a post-it note on the refrigerator, telling Chen Nan that she had gone out and that there were ingredients in the refrigerator.

Lin Yuan said on the phone that he wanted to go around alone, but Li Meng was worried, and the car stopped downstairs in the community where Lin Yuan lived.Not long after, Lin Yuan tightly opened the door of the driver's cab.

Li Meng sat still, but raised her chin, "You sit in the back."

Seeing that she obviously didn't intend to get out of the car, Lin Yuan frowned and said, "I'll come out to take a breath, there's no need to be so nervous, right?"

Li Meng insisted: "It's been hard to calm down recently, and I don't want any accidents to happen again." She said, closing the door of the driver's cab involuntarily.

Lin Yuan had no choice but to sit back in the back row and heard Li Meng ask, "Where are you going?"

Lin Yuan's heart tightened, he checked the navigation on his mobile phone, and said the name of a place not far from the hospital.

Li Meng turned around suspiciously, "Why do you go to the park in broad daylight?" She couldn't let him appear in a crowded place by himself, the last time he was splashed with paint was dangerous enough.

Lin Yuan sat in the back seat and took off his mask, "Can't you go get some air?"

Li Meng's tone was calm: "Brother Yuan, you'd better tell me the truth, so that I can be confident."

The eyes crossed, and Lin Yuan saw a trace of tenacity in her eyes. He thought for a while before saying, "Don't tell Sister An Ran what happened today."

Li Meng seemed to be mentally prepared, "Go ahead."

Lin Yuan told the address of the hospital where Dr. Cheng was. Li Meng didn't ask any more questions, but just nodded and drove straight to the destination.

Before getting out of the car, Li Meng said, "I'll wait for you in the car until you come."

Li Meng knew that artists had a lot of work pressure and needed space. She would not interfere with Lin Yuan's private time too much within the allowable range, but she had to make sure that no accidents happened, otherwise she would not be able to explain it publicly or privately.

Near noon, Li Meng finished eating fast food at the convenience store and sat in the car to have fun. An Ran called, "I went to see Lin Yuan yesterday, and I am worried that his depression has relapsed. Pay attention to him in the next few days." situation."

Li Meng took a sip of water, subconsciously glanced in the direction of the hospital building, and said calmly, "Well, good."

An Ran explained other precautions, nothing more than to make her more careful.

After hanging up the phone, Li Meng sent Lin Yuan a WeChat message, asking him where he was and what time he would come out.

Lin Yuan replied quickly: I am receiving treatment from Dr. Cheng, and I will be out at about four o'clock.

Li Meng was a little relieved. In fact, as long as Lin Yuan told the truth, she would not report to An Ran in detail. This was the subtle tacit understanding between her and Lin Yuan.Even if An Ran blames her, at worst she will suffer bad luck, just get used to it.

Li Meng knew little about Lin Yuan's debut in the early years. After all, she hadn't become his assistant at that time, but she only vaguely heard that Lin Yuan had received psychological treatment.She just wondered if depression would recur like a cold.

However, there is a lot of noise on the Internet recently, so it's no wonder that Lin Yuan is not depressed.

On the way, Li Meng went for a stroll around the neighborhood and bought a cup of latte. When she left the coffee shop, she saw Lin Yuan's endorsement advertisement playing on the huge screen in the building opposite. And handsome, there is no trace of depression at all.

Because the package was tightly packed before departure, Lin Yuan came out

It was not recognized.

"Four o'clock, you're still on time?" Li Meng turned to look at him, and saw that Lin Yuan had a white bag with the full name of the hospital printed on it, and her face was much more relaxed. She guessed that psychotherapy would still work.

The car door closed dully, and Lin Yuan said, "How can you turn your back on your revolutionary comrades?"

The two smiled tacitly, and the atmosphere in the car was relaxed.

Along the way, Li Meng didn't ask any more questions, Lin Yuan would naturally say what he wanted to say, and not long after, the car drove downstairs to Lin Yuan's house.

"Does the car need to be with you?" Li Meng let go of the seat belt.

"No, I probably won't be using the car for a while, so I'll keep it for your usual use." Lin Yuan was about to get out of the car.

Li Meng called him to stop: "I'd better park the car here, in case you really want to go around alone one day? However, I still suggest you go for a drive, don't get out of the car easily."

Lin Yuan was a little surprised: "Huh? You're not suspicious anymore?" He has been feeling that An Ran and Li Meng are a little too vigilant recently.

Li Meng said calmly, "If you kept saying what you said and doing what you said every time, I definitely wouldn't bother so much." She handed him the car keys, "I'll leave first, call me if you need anything."

After getting out of the car, Lin Yuan didn't dare to stay outside the community, and hurried upstairs.

Lin Yuan poured out the medicine prescribed by Dr. Cheng today, combined with the medical records and drug instructions, and checked the dosage.

I haven't seen him for several years, but Dr. Cheng still looks the same as before.

During the psychological test during the day, Lin Yuan did not answer well.

Lin Yuan talked about his experience in the past two years, and even mentioned Zhong Kaifan, thinking that even though there are many scoldings on the Internet, it is much better than when his career was at a low point, not to mention that his mother's surgery was also very successful.

Dr. Cheng listened quietly, taking notes from time to time, "Xiao Lin, sometimes you have to learn to obey your truest feelings. You were depressed before, and you know some ways to save yourself. It can be seen that you really want to go out, and you can Try to persuade yourself with common sense." She put down the pen in her hand, her face calm and soothing, "But sometimes, it is difficult for human consciousness to be completely convinced by reason."

Lin Yuan was silent.

Dr. Cheng asked: "Close your eyes now and tell me, what do you most want to do?"

Lin Yuan leaned back in the chair, took a deep breath, and said after a while, "I want to find a place to hide, and no one can find me."

"Can't mom too?" Dr. Cheng asked.

Lin Yuan shook his head, "It's best not to ask anyone, even Kai Fan, it's best not to find me."

"What is it about that place that makes you want to be there?"

"very quiet."

"Is there light?"

Lin Yuan said, "No, darkness makes people feel very comfortable."

Dr. Cheng did not jump to conclusions, and chatted with him about other things, focusing on his feelings.

No matter what, after leaving Doctor Cheng, Lin Yuan will still feel much better.

Taking the medicine according to the doctor's advice, Lin Yuan planned to wash up early, and it should be more comfortable to lie under the quilt.

In fact, when he met Dr. Cheng today, Lin Yuan still concealed something. Now he feels that everything around him is terrible, and it is difficult to feel safe, or because he is not in good condition, he may be disgusted at any time.

Zhong Kaifan accepted the trauma in his heart and never forced him in an intimate relationship. Maybe it was because of this that Lin Yuan felt even more guilty.

In the past few days, apart from taking medicine, Lin Yuan has been insisting on listening to the music recommended by Dr. Cheng. As long as it can relieve anxiety and relieve mental tension, he will cooperate.While brushing his teeth now, he turned on the music player and put his phone on the shelf in front of the mirror.

He had set up a single track loop before, and he was going to change to another one.After brushing his teeth, he wiped his mouth and brought his phone over. At this moment, he found a browser hotspot message appeared on the top of the screen - "Lin Yuan has been sleeping with the boss for many years".

His fingers trembled a little, and after hesitating for nearly half a minute, he still sent a message notification in a strange way.This article described in detail how he flattered Nie Zuan, how he obtained the resources of "Assassin", and now he has a new patron.Even the details, the wounds on his back

They are all described very clearly, as if someone took pictures of everything back then.

My mind exploded with a 'boom', leaving no room for thinking.

At the request of An Ran, the social software has been deleted, but other apps will also push notifications. Looking at the screenshot above, Lin Yuan realized that something happened.

This breaking news article quickly became the number one in the hot search, because his traffic has been full recently, the Weibo server was directly paralyzed.

He backed out tremblingly and put the phone back where it was.I just feel that my back is sweating, a little hot and a little cold.Soon, he began to tremble all over, and he couldn't stand still. He needed to hold on to the wall to support himself.

Lin Yuan couldn't tell what he was feeling, as if even breathing was a sin.

The distress signal that was so painstakingly sent was washed away by the huge waves like driftwood. Even what Dr. Cheng said today was of no use.

Lin Yuan always felt that someone was watching him. Once he took a step, the sharp bayonet would pass across his body, and he didn't even have time to react to the slightest pain.I felt that there was a dark crowd in front of me, everyone was cursing themselves to die, with grim and cold faces.

He wanted to reach out to call for help, but it was very difficult to even breathe. These people stepped on his hands, kicked him with their toes, tore open his wounds, and taunted him.He finally fell, but when he really fell, he found that he was in the endless layer, which was an infinite abyss, as if it had no end.

He remembered the movie "Infernal Affairs" that he had watched with Zhong Kaifan before, and remembered the phrase "You will never die, and longevity is the catastrophe in Infernal Hell". He wondered whether he was the upright Chen Yongren or the villain Liu Jianming.If he was Chen Yongren, why didn't he go to Liming; if he was Liu Jianming, but if he asked himself, Lin Yuan felt that he hadn't done anything outrageous in recent years.

Idol is his profession, he is a dedicated entertainer.

There is no need for a double in the play, unless requested by the show, he never hypes up scandals with female artists; he treats the staff around him kindly and friendly; at fan meetings, he tries his best to answer the wishes of fans, and never has any impatience; Dancing, he has many old injuries, the final is just around the corner, he rehearses with the players day and night, and never complains that he is tired; in life, he does not vent his negative emotions to others.

I don't know what's going on, these sharp and cruel malice are chasing and biting him, not being accepted or even slandered by the world, these voices are like dirt, they want to bury people alive.

No matter what you do, no matter what you say, it is always wrong.

Lin Yuan's gaze finally stayed on the table in front of the mirror.

It was a black manual razor.

The sound of a heartbeat came from the eardrums.

When the edge of the knife slid towards his wrist, he actually felt an inexplicable pleasure. He squinted his eyes and made a 'hiss—' sound, feeling very comfortable.