if i could love you
Chapter 23 I Can't Be With You 1
What should come will always come!Tuesday came as scheduled, and of course the lecture came as scheduled.
Waking up in the morning, Wen Jiaoer was in a state of being out of his mind.
"Jiaoer! I'm talking to you!" Li Li shook his hand in front of Wen Jiaoer's eyes.
"Ah? What did you say?" Wen Jiaoer, who just came back to his senses, agreed.
Li Li looked at her, sighed, and then asked, "What's wrong with you today? Could it be because you're nervous about the lecture later?"
When Jiaoer heard the word "lecture", her temples throbbed. She immediately buried her head in the porridge and said in a low voice, "I'm not nervous! I'm really not nervous."
Li Li looked at her, frowned, and stopped talking.
On the way to the academic lecture hall, Jiaoer felt as if she had fallen into the nightmare that had troubled her for a long time again, but this time she was awake.Approaching the door of the lecture hall, she suddenly turned pale, she held onto Li Li's arm with all her strength, and then said in a trembling voice, "Li Li, can I not go in?"
Seeing this, Li Li picked up Jiao Er, hugged her in his arms, lowered his head and asked anxiously, "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
At this moment, Jiao Er was unable to speak, but shook his head desperately.
Since the lecture was about to start, many students came here.Seeing Jiaoer like this, he also thought she was sick.So everyone gathered around and asked Jiaoer with concern.
Seeing the crowd gathered, Jiaoer gradually came to his senses.She knew she couldn't get cold feet, she had to cheer up and face it.If I had escaped this time, and the media had written about it again, maybe something else would be picked up...
"I'm just a little bit hypoglycemic, and I'll be fine soon." Jiao Er's eyes barely brightened, and she got up from Li Li's arms as she spoke.
"Is it really all right?" Li Li had a worried look on his face, and put his hand on Jiaoer's arm.
"Yeah." Jiao Er nodded, trying to squeeze out a smile.
"Then let's go! If you feel uncomfortable, you must tell me." Li Li walked forward with his arms without letting go of his hands while talking.
Seeing this, the students dispersed in twos and threes.
lecture started
"Today we invited Mr. Yang Jianyi, an outstanding sixth-generation director, to give us a lecture. Before that, we invite Wen Jiaoer, the freshman representative, to give an opening speech." The teacher hosting the lecture enthusiastically introduced it.
The applause sounded like the sound of mournful war drums, but Wen Jiaoer was like a soldier going to die. She gritted her teeth, her legs trembled, and she didn't know how she got to the podium.All I saw was that man's wretched face, and he was still smiling hypocritically, as if nothing had happened at the beginning.
The speech in Wen Jiaoer's hand was wrinkled out of shape, which was the result of excessive kneading because of her nervous tension just now.She tried her best to flatten the speech with her trembling hands, closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down her emotions as much as possible.
"Hi everyone, Yang..."
Wen Jiaoer seemed to be choked up, and suddenly couldn't say the words "Teacher Jianyi" that followed.She swallowed, and squeezed out the words "Teacher Jianyi" from between her teeth.
The students below seem to have noticed that something is wrong with her, and there is already a lot of discussion.She tried her best to calm down and continued, "Okay, I'm Wen Jiaoer, a freshman in the Department of Acting..."
Wen Jiaoer didn't know how she read that speech. She didn't seem to raise her head the whole time, and read every word in the manuscript quickly with a thin and weak voice. She didn't even know what she was reading. What, it seems that it is just a mechanical reading.When she finally finished reading the last word on the manuscript, she suddenly had a feeling that the sky had finally dawned, and the long dark night was finally over!
Just as Wen Jiaoer was about to step down as if he had been relieved, he was stopped by the teacher who hosted the lecture.
"I know that Jiao Er has cooperated with teacher Yang Jianyi before, and today is the opportunity to reunite. I wonder if you two have anything to say?" The teacher who presided over the lecture smiled triumphantly, feeling that he was witty. Extremely.
Jiaoer froze on the podium, unable to say a word.
"Jiaoer is a child with great potential. I hope she can perform many excellent works in the future, and I also hope to have the opportunity to cooperate again." The man had a vague smile on his lips, and his eyes looked at Wen Jiaoer from time to time.
At this time, Wen Jiaoer was like a weak lamb under the claws of a wolf. Her whole body was stiff, her limbs were trembling, and her eyes were full of fear.
"Jiaoer, is there anything you want to say?" the teacher presiding over the meeting asked again.
"Thank you. I have nothing to say!" Wen Jiaoer almost gritted his teeth and said this sentence.
The teacher who presided over the lecture seemed to have sensed that something was wrong with Jiaoer, and smoothed things over, "Is Jiaoer a little nervous today?"
Before Jiaoer could answer anything, he said again, "Why don't you shake hands with Teacher Yang!"
After hearing this, Jiaoer didn't move, but saw the man walking towards him, with a hypocritical smile still on his face.He stretched out his hand to Jiao Er, and said, "I hope you will become a better actor."
Jiaoer stared at his outstretched hand for a couple of seconds, knowing that there were so many eyes staring at him, and she couldn't let others catch her.She raised the corner of her mouth vigorously, and stretched out her hand, "Thank you, Director Yang!" Her calm tone sounded the same as usual, but she couldn't help trembling when she held the man's hand.
After returning to his seat, Jiaoer tried his best to make his expression look extraordinarily calm.
Li Li shook Jiaoer's arm lightly with her hand, and then she said softly, "Are you okay?"
"I..." Jiao Er felt sick when she said this.All the food I ate in the morning poured into my throat.She covered her mouth and ran out of the lecture hall.
There was nothing to vomit in her stomach, but Wen Jiao'er was still scratching her throat. Whenever she thought of the man's hand touching her own, she couldn't help but feel nauseous.A surge of stomach acid surged up, making her shiver.
"Jiao'er, how are you?" Li Li, who chased him out, asked anxiously outside the bathroom door.
After a long time, Jiaoer opened the toilet door, her face was pale, her eyes were red, "I'm fine!" She said the simple words in pieces.
Seeing her coming out, Li Li immediately reached out to support her, "Do you want to go to the hospital?"
Jiao Er pushed Li Li away, "Don't touch me!", her weak voice kept trembling.She turned her head away from Li Li's face, then slumped on the floor and buried her head in her arms and said weakly, "Li Li, I can't be with you!"
What responded to her was a long silence, so long that she thought Li Li had left.However, unexpectedly, a pair of hands were lightly placed on her shoulders, "Let's not talk about this for now, let's go to the hospital first, okay?" Li Li's voice sounded the same as usual.
Jiao Er raised her head and saw Li Li drooping his eyes, the lake in his eyes was covered with mist, as if he wanted to isolate himself from the world.
Jiao Er had no strength left, she still wanted to remove Li Li's hand on her shoulder, and then said, "I'm so dirty! Li Li, you will despise me!"
"Jiaoer, what are you talking about?" Li Li's pupils dilated, and the hand on Jiaoer's shoulder couldn't help but exert strength.
"When I was 16 years old, I was almost..." When Jiaer said this, her whole body was shaking like a sieve, and she couldn't say the last two words no matter what.
Li Li immediately understood Jiaoer's meaning, without any hesitation, she immediately hugged Jiaoer into her arms, her voice was as gentle as the spring breeze in April, "It's okay, if we can't say it, let's not say it."
Jiao Er leaned against Li Li's arms, still unable to stop the trembling of her whole body, her voice was like a whisper, "But you said that if you like someone, there should be no secret between each other!"
Li Li circled Jiao'er's arm with more strength, and Jiao'er's upper body was almost pressed against Li Li's. The smell of burning pine branches calmed her down a little.Li Li whispered in her ear, "If that sentence makes you feel pain and embarrassment now, then I will take it back. Nothing is more important than you!"
Then Li Li opened Jiaoer lightly, held Jiaoer's shoulders with both hands, and looked at her with eyes full of affection, "Wen Jiaoer, listen! I like you, I like you very much! No matter what you did before I don't care what happened or what didn't happen! I just like you!"
Jiao Er managed to calm down from a fluctuating mood, and was instantly disrupted by Li Li's direct confession.She couldn't find anything to say for a while, she stared blankly at Li Li with her red eyes.
"I'll take you back to the dormitory first, okay? It would be bad if someone sees you later." Li Li coaxed Wen Jiaoer carefully.
Wen Jiaoer didn't speak, but just nodded.
Fortunately, the academic lecture hall was not too far from the dormitory, Li Li helped and hugged Jiaoer back to the dormitory.
After such a toss, Wen Jiaoer didn't sleep well during this period of time, but now she felt extremely tired, and fell asleep not long after lying on the bed.I didn't sleep well this time, and the memory that I didn't want to look back always drifted into my dreams.The face of the man in the dream kept appearing in front of her, she couldn't help but exclaimed, and her body was also moving restlessly.Unexpectedly, she bumped into a soft embrace, a pair of arms tightly encircled her body, and there seemed to be whispers in her ears, "Jiaoer, don't be afraid. I'm here."
A scent of burning pine branches also followed the voice into the dream, it was Li Li!As if walking in the dark sea and finally saw the lighthouse, Jiaoer felt relieved.She fell asleep comfortably in Li Li's arms like this, and there were no more nightmares to disturb her.
After an unknown amount of time, Wen Jiaoer woke up and found that she was still lying in Li Li's arms.The light in the room was dimming, Jiaoer gently removed Li Li's arm that was encircling her, and wanted to check the time with her mobile phone.But he didn't want such a slight movement to wake up Li Li.
Li Li's arm that was taken away hugged Jiao Er's shoulder tightly again, and moved his head down, letting his chin rest on the top of Jiao Er's head, "Are you awake?" Li Li, who was not fully awake The voice is a little hoarse.
"Yeah. Did it wake you up?" Jiao Erwo didn't dare to move in Li Li's arms.
"Are you hungry?" Li Li still didn't relax his arms around her, "Do you want to order a takeaway?"
"I'm not hungry, I want to know what time is it?" Jiao Er heard that Li Li's voice was much clearer than before, guessing that she should be fully awake.So he got up from her arms to get the mobile phone next to the pillow, but accidentally pressed it on Li Li's arm, causing Li Li to say "Ouch".
"What's wrong? Are you under pressure?" Jiao Er immediately turned back to look at Li Li nervously.
"It's okay, but my arms are a little sore." When Li Li was speaking, he was still lying on the bed, looking up at Jiao Er.
In this pitifully small single bed in the dormitory, it is really difficult for two people to sleep together.What's more, Li Li has been holding her all the time, so she must not move at all.How can the arm not be sore?Thinking of this, Jiaoer couldn't help sitting up, put Li Li's arm on her lap, and kneaded it carefully for her.
"Is it still uncomfortable?" Wen Jiaoer asked.
Li Li shook his head with a smile, his gaze was always on Jiaoer, so gentle that he could pinch water.
Wen Jiaoer could feel Li Li's gaze even if she lowered her head.She felt her cheeks were hot, so she freed a hand to cover Li Li's eyes. Li Li's eyelashes kept flapping, making her palms itchy.
"Don't look at it any more." Wen Jiaoer bit her lower lip and said embarrassedly.
"En." Li Li was talking, and was about to take away Jiao Er's hand covering her eyes.
"I'm going to cover your eyes because I'm going to talk."
"En." Li Li put down his hand after hearing this.
"Li Li, thank you today!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, I like you too!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, I liked you earlier than you liked me!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, let's be together!"
"okay."
Wen Jiaoer felt the warmth of the hands covering Li Li's eyes.
The author has something to say:
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my article, and I appreciate it for you.
Waking up in the morning, Wen Jiaoer was in a state of being out of his mind.
"Jiaoer! I'm talking to you!" Li Li shook his hand in front of Wen Jiaoer's eyes.
"Ah? What did you say?" Wen Jiaoer, who just came back to his senses, agreed.
Li Li looked at her, sighed, and then asked, "What's wrong with you today? Could it be because you're nervous about the lecture later?"
When Jiaoer heard the word "lecture", her temples throbbed. She immediately buried her head in the porridge and said in a low voice, "I'm not nervous! I'm really not nervous."
Li Li looked at her, frowned, and stopped talking.
On the way to the academic lecture hall, Jiaoer felt as if she had fallen into the nightmare that had troubled her for a long time again, but this time she was awake.Approaching the door of the lecture hall, she suddenly turned pale, she held onto Li Li's arm with all her strength, and then said in a trembling voice, "Li Li, can I not go in?"
Seeing this, Li Li picked up Jiao Er, hugged her in his arms, lowered his head and asked anxiously, "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
At this moment, Jiao Er was unable to speak, but shook his head desperately.
Since the lecture was about to start, many students came here.Seeing Jiaoer like this, he also thought she was sick.So everyone gathered around and asked Jiaoer with concern.
Seeing the crowd gathered, Jiaoer gradually came to his senses.She knew she couldn't get cold feet, she had to cheer up and face it.If I had escaped this time, and the media had written about it again, maybe something else would be picked up...
"I'm just a little bit hypoglycemic, and I'll be fine soon." Jiao Er's eyes barely brightened, and she got up from Li Li's arms as she spoke.
"Is it really all right?" Li Li had a worried look on his face, and put his hand on Jiaoer's arm.
"Yeah." Jiao Er nodded, trying to squeeze out a smile.
"Then let's go! If you feel uncomfortable, you must tell me." Li Li walked forward with his arms without letting go of his hands while talking.
Seeing this, the students dispersed in twos and threes.
lecture started
"Today we invited Mr. Yang Jianyi, an outstanding sixth-generation director, to give us a lecture. Before that, we invite Wen Jiaoer, the freshman representative, to give an opening speech." The teacher hosting the lecture enthusiastically introduced it.
The applause sounded like the sound of mournful war drums, but Wen Jiaoer was like a soldier going to die. She gritted her teeth, her legs trembled, and she didn't know how she got to the podium.All I saw was that man's wretched face, and he was still smiling hypocritically, as if nothing had happened at the beginning.
The speech in Wen Jiaoer's hand was wrinkled out of shape, which was the result of excessive kneading because of her nervous tension just now.She tried her best to flatten the speech with her trembling hands, closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down her emotions as much as possible.
"Hi everyone, Yang..."
Wen Jiaoer seemed to be choked up, and suddenly couldn't say the words "Teacher Jianyi" that followed.She swallowed, and squeezed out the words "Teacher Jianyi" from between her teeth.
The students below seem to have noticed that something is wrong with her, and there is already a lot of discussion.She tried her best to calm down and continued, "Okay, I'm Wen Jiaoer, a freshman in the Department of Acting..."
Wen Jiaoer didn't know how she read that speech. She didn't seem to raise her head the whole time, and read every word in the manuscript quickly with a thin and weak voice. She didn't even know what she was reading. What, it seems that it is just a mechanical reading.When she finally finished reading the last word on the manuscript, she suddenly had a feeling that the sky had finally dawned, and the long dark night was finally over!
Just as Wen Jiaoer was about to step down as if he had been relieved, he was stopped by the teacher who hosted the lecture.
"I know that Jiao Er has cooperated with teacher Yang Jianyi before, and today is the opportunity to reunite. I wonder if you two have anything to say?" The teacher who presided over the lecture smiled triumphantly, feeling that he was witty. Extremely.
Jiaoer froze on the podium, unable to say a word.
"Jiaoer is a child with great potential. I hope she can perform many excellent works in the future, and I also hope to have the opportunity to cooperate again." The man had a vague smile on his lips, and his eyes looked at Wen Jiaoer from time to time.
At this time, Wen Jiaoer was like a weak lamb under the claws of a wolf. Her whole body was stiff, her limbs were trembling, and her eyes were full of fear.
"Jiaoer, is there anything you want to say?" the teacher presiding over the meeting asked again.
"Thank you. I have nothing to say!" Wen Jiaoer almost gritted his teeth and said this sentence.
The teacher who presided over the lecture seemed to have sensed that something was wrong with Jiaoer, and smoothed things over, "Is Jiaoer a little nervous today?"
Before Jiaoer could answer anything, he said again, "Why don't you shake hands with Teacher Yang!"
After hearing this, Jiaoer didn't move, but saw the man walking towards him, with a hypocritical smile still on his face.He stretched out his hand to Jiao Er, and said, "I hope you will become a better actor."
Jiaoer stared at his outstretched hand for a couple of seconds, knowing that there were so many eyes staring at him, and she couldn't let others catch her.She raised the corner of her mouth vigorously, and stretched out her hand, "Thank you, Director Yang!" Her calm tone sounded the same as usual, but she couldn't help trembling when she held the man's hand.
After returning to his seat, Jiaoer tried his best to make his expression look extraordinarily calm.
Li Li shook Jiaoer's arm lightly with her hand, and then she said softly, "Are you okay?"
"I..." Jiao Er felt sick when she said this.All the food I ate in the morning poured into my throat.She covered her mouth and ran out of the lecture hall.
There was nothing to vomit in her stomach, but Wen Jiao'er was still scratching her throat. Whenever she thought of the man's hand touching her own, she couldn't help but feel nauseous.A surge of stomach acid surged up, making her shiver.
"Jiao'er, how are you?" Li Li, who chased him out, asked anxiously outside the bathroom door.
After a long time, Jiaoer opened the toilet door, her face was pale, her eyes were red, "I'm fine!" She said the simple words in pieces.
Seeing her coming out, Li Li immediately reached out to support her, "Do you want to go to the hospital?"
Jiao Er pushed Li Li away, "Don't touch me!", her weak voice kept trembling.She turned her head away from Li Li's face, then slumped on the floor and buried her head in her arms and said weakly, "Li Li, I can't be with you!"
What responded to her was a long silence, so long that she thought Li Li had left.However, unexpectedly, a pair of hands were lightly placed on her shoulders, "Let's not talk about this for now, let's go to the hospital first, okay?" Li Li's voice sounded the same as usual.
Jiao Er raised her head and saw Li Li drooping his eyes, the lake in his eyes was covered with mist, as if he wanted to isolate himself from the world.
Jiao Er had no strength left, she still wanted to remove Li Li's hand on her shoulder, and then said, "I'm so dirty! Li Li, you will despise me!"
"Jiaoer, what are you talking about?" Li Li's pupils dilated, and the hand on Jiaoer's shoulder couldn't help but exert strength.
"When I was 16 years old, I was almost..." When Jiaer said this, her whole body was shaking like a sieve, and she couldn't say the last two words no matter what.
Li Li immediately understood Jiaoer's meaning, without any hesitation, she immediately hugged Jiaoer into her arms, her voice was as gentle as the spring breeze in April, "It's okay, if we can't say it, let's not say it."
Jiao Er leaned against Li Li's arms, still unable to stop the trembling of her whole body, her voice was like a whisper, "But you said that if you like someone, there should be no secret between each other!"
Li Li circled Jiao'er's arm with more strength, and Jiao'er's upper body was almost pressed against Li Li's. The smell of burning pine branches calmed her down a little.Li Li whispered in her ear, "If that sentence makes you feel pain and embarrassment now, then I will take it back. Nothing is more important than you!"
Then Li Li opened Jiaoer lightly, held Jiaoer's shoulders with both hands, and looked at her with eyes full of affection, "Wen Jiaoer, listen! I like you, I like you very much! No matter what you did before I don't care what happened or what didn't happen! I just like you!"
Jiao Er managed to calm down from a fluctuating mood, and was instantly disrupted by Li Li's direct confession.She couldn't find anything to say for a while, she stared blankly at Li Li with her red eyes.
"I'll take you back to the dormitory first, okay? It would be bad if someone sees you later." Li Li coaxed Wen Jiaoer carefully.
Wen Jiaoer didn't speak, but just nodded.
Fortunately, the academic lecture hall was not too far from the dormitory, Li Li helped and hugged Jiaoer back to the dormitory.
After such a toss, Wen Jiaoer didn't sleep well during this period of time, but now she felt extremely tired, and fell asleep not long after lying on the bed.I didn't sleep well this time, and the memory that I didn't want to look back always drifted into my dreams.The face of the man in the dream kept appearing in front of her, she couldn't help but exclaimed, and her body was also moving restlessly.Unexpectedly, she bumped into a soft embrace, a pair of arms tightly encircled her body, and there seemed to be whispers in her ears, "Jiaoer, don't be afraid. I'm here."
A scent of burning pine branches also followed the voice into the dream, it was Li Li!As if walking in the dark sea and finally saw the lighthouse, Jiaoer felt relieved.She fell asleep comfortably in Li Li's arms like this, and there were no more nightmares to disturb her.
After an unknown amount of time, Wen Jiaoer woke up and found that she was still lying in Li Li's arms.The light in the room was dimming, Jiaoer gently removed Li Li's arm that was encircling her, and wanted to check the time with her mobile phone.But he didn't want such a slight movement to wake up Li Li.
Li Li's arm that was taken away hugged Jiao Er's shoulder tightly again, and moved his head down, letting his chin rest on the top of Jiao Er's head, "Are you awake?" Li Li, who was not fully awake The voice is a little hoarse.
"Yeah. Did it wake you up?" Jiao Erwo didn't dare to move in Li Li's arms.
"Are you hungry?" Li Li still didn't relax his arms around her, "Do you want to order a takeaway?"
"I'm not hungry, I want to know what time is it?" Jiao Er heard that Li Li's voice was much clearer than before, guessing that she should be fully awake.So he got up from her arms to get the mobile phone next to the pillow, but accidentally pressed it on Li Li's arm, causing Li Li to say "Ouch".
"What's wrong? Are you under pressure?" Jiao Er immediately turned back to look at Li Li nervously.
"It's okay, but my arms are a little sore." When Li Li was speaking, he was still lying on the bed, looking up at Jiao Er.
In this pitifully small single bed in the dormitory, it is really difficult for two people to sleep together.What's more, Li Li has been holding her all the time, so she must not move at all.How can the arm not be sore?Thinking of this, Jiaoer couldn't help sitting up, put Li Li's arm on her lap, and kneaded it carefully for her.
"Is it still uncomfortable?" Wen Jiaoer asked.
Li Li shook his head with a smile, his gaze was always on Jiaoer, so gentle that he could pinch water.
Wen Jiaoer could feel Li Li's gaze even if she lowered her head.She felt her cheeks were hot, so she freed a hand to cover Li Li's eyes. Li Li's eyelashes kept flapping, making her palms itchy.
"Don't look at it any more." Wen Jiaoer bit her lower lip and said embarrassedly.
"En." Li Li was talking, and was about to take away Jiao Er's hand covering her eyes.
"I'm going to cover your eyes because I'm going to talk."
"En." Li Li put down his hand after hearing this.
"Li Li, thank you today!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, I like you too!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, I liked you earlier than you liked me!"
"Ah."
"Li Li, let's be together!"
"okay."
Wen Jiaoer felt the warmth of the hands covering Li Li's eyes.
The author has something to say:
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my article, and I appreciate it for you.
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