if i could love you

The filming of "" is drawing to a close.

"Jiaoer, is this afternoon your last play?" Simon said and handed Jiaoer a bottle of water.

"En." Jiao Er answered briefly with a cold face.

Ever since Simon told her that he was leaving his job, Jiaoer has become like this, always ignoring Simon.

There was a burst of bitterness in Simon's heart, but his distress for Jiao'er was still more than the grievance in his heart.She smiled and said, "I won't be with you on the plane this afternoon. There are still some businesses in the company waiting for me to hand over."

Jiaoer still didn't have any expression on his face, and only replied with a word of "yes".It seemed that everything Simon said had nothing to do with him.

The last scene of the afternoon is the end of the movie.On her birthday, after experiencing the betrayal of her friends, the departure of her boyfriend and the misunderstanding of her family, she fled to a corner of the city alone; in the dark night, she sat alone on the roof of the building and drank beer silently to celebrate her coming of age present.

There are almost no lines in this scene, and almost all rely on Jiaoer's body language and facial expressions to convey the emotions of the characters.It can be said that this scene is a test of acting skills.

Before the filming started, Director Chen Wen actually asked her to drink a can of beer first, saying that it would relieve her tension.Jiaoer hardly ever drank alcohol, and she was worried that something unexpected would happen when she was acting.But Director Chen Wen insisted again and again, so she compromised.

Jiaoer closed his eyes and drank a big gulp of beer, the bitter taste immediately permeated the whole mouth.She squinted her eyes uncomfortably, and there was still a bitter taste on her tongue.I don't know why some people are obsessed with alcohol. In Jiaoer's view, it is clearly a kind of medicine, and it is the most bitter kind.

But Director Chen Wen looked at her expectantly.Jiao Er had no choice but to drink up an open can of beer.

"Director Chen, I'm done." Jiao Er shook the beer can while talking.

Director Chen made an OK gesture with satisfaction, and asked, "Are you ready?"

Jiaoer nodded and said, "Yes. Ready."

She really couldn't figure out what kind of medicine was sold in Chen Wen's gourd.However, Chen Wen has always been a genius in the film industry, and his methods of making movies and the way he casts actors are often unexpected.Before joining the group, Simon had specifically told Jiao Er to prepare her mentally for "being tortured".Thinking of this, Jiao Er felt a burst of acid in his heart.If Simon leaves in the future, probably no one will think about himself so carefully again.

With the sound of "action", Jiao Er quickly plunged into the shooting.

Jiao Er sat silently in a corner of the roof.Alcohol gradually took effect, and she could no longer tell whether she was Wen Jiaoer or He Qi.Or at this moment she is He Qi, she is the He Qi who is going to fight alone to resist the world.Youth is destined to be a single-handed war.But she lost this battle. She walked in this world with a solitary courage, but she was defeated by the indifference of this world.

He Qi took out the beer that had been prepared in the dark, and the moment he tore off the tab, the beer made a sound like fireworks rising.She held up the beer to the dark night and said "cheer", respecting herself, respecting the wonderful night that no one knows about.

A sip of beer was poured into the mouth, without the initial bitterness, the mellow and sweetness of the grain lingered on the tip of the tongue.She threw her head back against the wall behind and took another sip of her beer enjoying herself.October nights are poets' nights.The cobalt blue sky is the last blue painted by Van Gogh on the scroll, but unfortunately there are very few stars.It makes the night sky extraordinarily lonely.The lights in front of my eyes reflected the outline of the distant mountain ridges, one touch after another like a splash-ink landscape painting.

She stood up, vaguely remembering the dance she learned as a child.She stood up and jumped from memory.She couldn't remember what kind of dance it was, she just felt that if she didn't dance at this moment, she would be sorry for the wonderful night.The lighter her dance steps, the more empty her heart is.She seemed to be in Eliot's wilderness, and a lonely wind happened to blow into her heart with nothing left.

She didn't know how long she danced, but she stopped when she felt that she had no strength in her whole body.She stood on the empty rooftop, looking at the distant ridge, her thin back looked so lonely.Suddenly a firework rose from a certain corner of the city, blooming a dazzling golden color in the night sky.The radiant prosperity is just that moment, and it will be quiet in an instant.She shed a tear in the dark night and silently reached a reconciliation with the world.

With director Chen Wen's "stop", the filming of the whole movie has ended.

But He Qi's soul is still in Jiao'er's body, unwilling to leave.She still stood there blankly, allowing the people around her to hug her and celebrate the completion of the movie.

She heard people around her saying, "Jiao Er, you are really amazing!"

She whispered, "I'm He Qi, I'm not Jiao Er."

She can't remember what happened next.It wasn't until she was taken to the car by an assistant that Jiaoer's consciousness gradually returned.The power of the two cans of beer was still working in Jiaoer's body. She slumped in the car and felt that she had no strength in her body.

The assistant looked at her worriedly, thinking about Simon's instructions before he left, and didn't know how to talk to Jiao'er.Or just give Jiao Er a surprise, maybe it's a fright.Just as the assistant was thinking, the car had already arrived at the hotel.The assistant was ruthless and decided not to tell Jiaoer anything.Everything is left to Jiaoer to solve by himself.

The assistant sent Jiaoer to the door of the hotel room and said, "Jiaoer, you go in first. I still have some things to deal with, so I'll come back later."

Jiao Er nodded, and had no strength to speak.He took the room card and entered the room.

The room was pitch black, and Jiao Er habitually fumbled for the light switch.But before she touched it, she was pulled into an embrace by a huge force.There was a panic in her heart, and she was more than half awake from the wine. She struggled to escape, but was hugged even tighter.

"it's me."

The scent of burning pine branches enveloped Jiaoer again.This smell does have a magical power for Jiaoer, which makes her extremely at ease, just like a crying baby who smells the mother's frankincense can immediately calm down.

"Don't move, let me hold you like this for a while, okay?"

Li Li's hands tightly wrapped around Jiao'er's waist, as if trying to embed her into his bones.She buried her head in the socket of Jiaoer's shoulder, and the breath she exhaled hit Jiaoer's neck, enveloping a small piece of skin.Just like this, Jiaoer quietly leaned against Li Li's arms, and the stagnant block in her heart these days was gradually turning into a trickle, flowing to all limbs and bones.The two embraced tightly in a room with no lights on, and could feel each other's breath even if they couldn't see each other.Both of them were silent, letting the thick night cover up all their emotions.

Jiaoer sighed softly, and stretched out her arms to hug Li Li.Her cold fingers passed through Li Li's bony ribs, and slowly touched her raised butterfly bones.Li Li was thinner than before, and his body without a trace of flesh was so uncomfortable to hug.Just like the love between them, even in such an embarrassing situation, neither of them can let go.Maybe we were together just to be happy at the beginning, but when we are unhappy, we are still reluctant to let go of each other, that is love.

"Why are you so thin now? Didn't you eat well recently?" Jiao Er asked slowly in the dark night.

"Yes, I have a good meal." Li Li's voice trembled, like a butterfly whose wings were wet by the rain.

"Lie." Jiao Er spit out these two words softly, but her tone did not show displeasure at being cheated.On the contrary, it is unbelievably gentle, like the evening wind blowing through the lotus leaves in summer.

Li Li hugged Jiao Er even tighter, as if he wanted to rub Jiao Er into his body.

"I didn't lie. When you were not around, I was really good. I missed you very much, but I didn't dare to call you, let alone send you WeChat and text messages." Li Li argued softly, with that tone Wronged like a child who didn't get candy.

Jiao Er's palm stroked Li Li's back back and forth, as if some kind of comfort.Her palm rubbed against Li Li's thin and protruding spine, and her heart ached uncontrollably.

"Why did you come to me? Didn't we break up?" Jiao'er's voice became softer as she went to the back, until the word "break up" was almost inaudible.

"I can't forget you, what should I do?" Li Li paused, his voice choked with indistinct sobs, "I've tried almost all methods during this time, but I just can't forget you!"

"You..." Jiaoer sighed softly before asking again, "What time did you get here?"

"After eight o'clock in the evening." Li Li replied.

After hearing this, Jiaoer wanted to let go of Li Li, but was hugged even tighter.

"Jiaojiao, don't leave me, okay?" Li Li's tone was so helpless, his arms tightly wrapped around Jiao'er.

"I'm going to buy food for you, you must have not eaten yet, have you?" Jiaoer gently pushed away a distance like coaxing a child, and pressed his already warm palm to Li Li's neck, with his thumb still on Li Li's neck. Li stroked the arteries twice.

"En." Li Li nodded, and then let go of Jiao Er.

Jiao Er turned around and turned on the light in the room, her eyes, which were used to the darkness, suddenly felt uncomfortable.She rubbed her sore eyes with her hands, only then did she see Li Li standing in front of her.Li Li wore a black one-neck knitted sweater, with two collarbones exposed abruptly; his lower body was a pair of loose black slacks, wrapping his overly slender legs.This black suit made her face whiter, like a piece of plain porcelain.

Jiao Er looked away distressedly, turned and went out the door.When she entered again, she already had a cup of porridge and a light side dish in her hand.

Jiaoer carefully opened the box of porridge and side dishes and put them on the tea table, then said to Li Li, "You eat first."

Li Li stood up abruptly, and asked nervously, "What are you doing?"

Jiao Er stopped in her tracks again, and explained helplessly, "I'll go find you a change of clothes. Aren't you going to take a shower later?"

After listening to Jiao Er's words, Li Li's eyes sparkled.Like a satisfied kitten, she nodded and said, "Okay. Then I'll wait for you here."

When she found a loose white T-shirt, she was about to take it out and ask Li Li if it was okay to wear it.Unexpectedly, as soon as she turned around, she bumped into Li Li who was standing behind her at some point.Li Li hugged her tightly, but she pushed her lightly twice but failed.

"Let me hug you for a while, okay?" Li Li said, rubbing her head on Jiaoer's shoulder twice, like a coquettish kitten.

"Are you done eating?" Jiao Er asked.

"Yeah." Li Li replied with a nod.

"So fast?" Jiaoer asked in disbelief.

"Well. I waited for you outside for a while, but I haven't seen you coming out yet." Li Li replied aggrieved.

"Aren't I going out now?" Jiaoer explained helplessly.As she spoke, she freed a hand to support Li Li's shoulder.

"Jiaojiao." Li Li called Jiaoer by his nickname.

After such a long time, when Jiaoer heard this title again, his heart warmed.She opened her mouth to agree to Li Li, her tone was soft and sticky.

"Let's make up, okay?" When Li Li was talking, he hugged Jiaoer's arm with more strength.As afraid of being pushed away.

"Yeah." Jiao Er agreed in a faint voice.

Li Li opened a little distance after hearing this.She lowered her head and asked in disbelief, "Really?"

Jiaoer nodded again and said, "Really. Let's make up, Li Li."

Li Li's eyes suddenly brightened, like the surface of a lake shining golden in the sun.She excitedly kissed Jiao Er's forehead, and said, "I promise I will never let go of your hand again this time."

It was past eleven o'clock in the evening when both of them took a shower and lay on the bed.Li Li and Jiao Er looked at each other with their eyes facing each other, neither of them would close their eyes, for fear that this was a dream.

"Jiaojiao, can I kiss you?" Li Li asked in the dark night, his eyes were shining brightly, as if hiding stars in them.

Jiao Er didn't speak, and directly pressed her lips to Li Li.Lips and teeth touched tightly, and the familiar breath of the other party spread from the lips to the tip of the tongue, then the entire mouth, and then slowly flowed to the limbs.

The tip of Li Li's tongue gently brushed Jiao Er's teeth, and then gently pried open her teeth to explore the breath inside her.The two shared each other's sweet body fluid, their tongues were entangled with selflessness, and their hands under the quilt were tightly intertwined.

When the kiss reached the passionate moment, Li Li turned Jiaoer over and pressed her under him.A feast that no one knows is going on quietly in the dark night.

The author has something to say:

A new chapter, wish you a happy reading