miss a useless name

1.

"Click-"

The key was inserted into the lock cylinder, and the door opened after just one turn.

Yu Yan was a little dazed, the corridors of the high-end apartment were brightly lit, the central air conditioner was running silently, and the cold wind blowing through Yu Yan's sweaty back.The room was dim, with a little white light coming through the crack of the door, and the cool air from inside rolled around, blowing him right through with those behind him.

The TV was on, and the host was broadcasting the evening financial news.Yu Yan subconsciously squeezed the key in his hand, causing the plastic bag in his palm to scream.

He opened the door and went in, put the takeaway in his hand and a bunch of messy things on the shoe cabinet, and was about to change his shoes, when he suddenly heard an unhappy question from the living room——

"Do you know what time it is?"

It was only then that Yu Yan realized that there was a person sitting on the sofa in the living room. He looked at the wall clock on the wall, but couldn't see it clearly. He remembered that the lights in the room were not turned on.

Cheng Shen was sitting with his back to the door, without changing his suit, staring at the TV with his arms folded, not knowing how many words he heard from the boring news.

"I've been waiting for you since three o'clock until now, and I can't get through the phone. If it's later, I'll call the police."

Yu Yan turned on the light, and the room was filled with warm light. He looked at the time again, it was 07:30 in the evening.Fortunately, it is not too late.

"Why are you back?" Yu Yan bent down, took out a pair of fabric striped slippers from the shoe cabinet, took off his socks, and stuffed his muffled Bai Shengsheng's feet into them.With a glance, he saw Cheng Shen's black leather shoes kicked on the ground casually, and he was accustomed to arranging them neatly.

"I can't come back?" Cheng Shen's voice was cold, as if extremely displeased.That's right, he's not a very patient person. How can he not be angry after waiting for more than four hours from day to night?Cheng Shen was so angry that Zhengwang said one sentence after another: "I went on a business trip for fifteen days, and you didn't contact me for fifteen days, and now you still ask me why I came back? My house, why can't I come back?"

The aggressive tone made people feel a little disturbed, Yu Yan realized that the man hadn't even turned his head since he entered the door, probably because he really didn't want to see him.

Yu Yan was tired, and I was afraid that Cheng Shen would say in the next sentence: "If you want to go, you go", I am afraid that he will not be able to handle it in his current state.Touching the plastic bag on the shoe cabinet, the takeaway is still hot, it is Yu Yan's favorite spicy fish.He thought for a while, then changed the subject and asked, "Have you been waiting for a long time, are you hungry?"

Cheng Shen snorted coldly, pleased by Yu Yan's obvious concession.He pinched the bridge of his tall nose, as if to prove that Yu Yan's previous thoughts were wrong, and finally he was willing to turn his head to look at him: "What's the result of the cold war for so many days?" Shen frowned suddenly and fiercely, and his tall body stood up abruptly.

He was tall, and he was on the school basketball team when he was in school. In the era when there were not many people who were 1.8 meters tall, this person earned a lot of attention by virtue of his 1.9 meters height.Cheng Shen walked up to Yu Yan, and a huge shadow invaded oppressively: "What's wrong with your arm?"

Yu Yan's face was dimly lit by the warm light, and his brows and eyes were slightly drooping, looking at his arm——

Yu Yan put a thick layer of plaster on the palm of his right hand to the elbow, and hung it around his neck with a triangular belt, which was heavy, as if he was going to break that fragile neck.

"It's okay," Yu Yan said lightly, "I accidentally fell down the stairs and fell."

Cheng Shen saw three or two bags on the shoe cabinet, which contained red-flavored takeaways, original medical records, X-rays, and several boxes of medicine.

"How could you fall like this!"

Cheng Shen hugged Yu Yan's shoulders, walked to the lamp, and looked at him from top to bottom. Yu Yan's white T-shirt was stained with dust, his black pants were also stained with dust, and his chin was still dirty.

No matter how big the fire is, seeing this appearance is not willing to vent, not to mention Cheng Shen has never seen Yu Yan bumping against each other.He felt distressed, and his eyes were red: "Is there any other place injured besides the hand?"

Yu Yan pursed his pale lips, and silently stared at Cheng Shen for a long time.The warm light was soft, and the panicked expression on the man's face was clearly visible.

A string that had stagnated in his heart for a long time seemed to be gently plucked, Yu Yan hesitantly looked back, and honestly lifted up the T-shirt, there was a big bruise on his waist bone, he was very thin, his skin was white, and his face was full of The narrow waist and protruding bones in his hand seem to be embellished with a depressing painting on rice paper with thick watercolors, which looks extremely pitiful.

Yu Yan paused for a moment, then stretched out his feet from the slippers, with an unobvious coquettish tone in his tone: "There are still feet."

Cheng Shen leaned down to look, but the injury was not serious, the ankle was a little torn, and it was red at the moment, as if it had been blown apart by the wind and snow in the cold winter months.

"I'm really going to be mad at you!"

Cheng Shen simply picked up Yu Yan, put him on the sofa in three steps at a time, and said, "I've only been away for a few days and you made yourself like this? Where's your phone? Why don't you call me?" ? If I didn’t just come back today, you still don’t intend to tell me, do you?”

He asked so many questions in one breath, Yu Yan didn't know how to answer.

Before Cheng Shen's business trip, they had a big quarrel, and they left the next day. They left for half a month. who to contact.

Yu Yan didn't know if Cheng Shen didn't come back today, would he look for him first, after all, he would fall on the stairs because he was distracted while holding his phone.But what's the use of looking for it, they are no longer the age when they quarrel and run to each other regardless.So, after Yu Yan stepped on the ground, he grinned and stood up in pain, and before he could take pictures, he deleted a few words in the WeChat editor.

That was the message he had struggled with for several days before making up his mind to send Cheng Shen. He originally wanted to ask him when he would go home.

Yu Yan didn't know what to say, so he chose the simplest answer: "The phone is out of battery."

Cheng Shen ran back to the bedroom with a "patta pata", and brought Yu Yan's pajamas over: "Come on, change your clothes first."

He helped Yu Yan take off his pants, and took off his shirt to avoid hurting his hands. Yu Yan took a light breath when putting on his pajamas.

"Does it hurt?" Cheng Shen looked at him nervously: "Let me take it easy."

Yu Yan didn't even need to say anything, Cheng Shen didn't dare to move when he frowned.It took a quarter of an hour to change into a pajamas. After finishing the work, Cheng Shen went to the bathroom and twisted a towel to wipe Yu Yan's face, turned up the temperature of the central air conditioner, dipped a cotton swab in red medicine and rubbed it on Yu Yan's ankle.

Yu Yan didn't feel pain, but rather itched.His toes shrank disobediently, and they rubbed against Cheng Shen's lower abdomen, and he grabbed it.

"Don't move around, just wipe it off."

"Oh." Yu Yan didn't move, tilting his head to look at Cheng Shen.

This person's concentrated appearance is still so good-looking, exactly the same as when he was in high school.They have known each other for ten years, and many things are changing. Love is marked by the years, deep and shallow, cutting off those enthusiasm and passion, and polishing it into the ordinary and trivial life that should be.But Cheng Shen's appearance has not changed, he is still as young and handsome, and even the look in his eyes when he cherishes himself is the same as before.

If even love can be faked, there is probably nothing in the world worth believing in.

"You've been waiting for me for so long, are you hungry?" Yu Yan was defeated, and asked proactively: "I packed a spicy fish and prepared to eat by myself. If you are hungry, fill up first, and I will order takeaway .”

Cheng Shen threw the cotton swab and scratched Yu Yan's feet: "You mean it, I can't eat spicy food." He scratched Yu Yan's nose, his eyes fell on the plaster hand, and softened again: " Does it hurt?"

"It's okay, I'm a little hungry."

Cheng Shen rubbed Yu Yan's soft hair, stood up, and took a look at the medicine on the coffee table: "Anti-inflammatory medicine, take it later." Then, he took off his dark suit and unbuttoned the two pills on the top of his shirt. Button, take off the watch, roll up the sleeves, step into the open kitchen, grab the apron and tie it on, and turn to open the refrigerator: "Don't eat spicy food if you have a broken bone, and the takeaway is not clean. I see there are... eggs, mushrooms and vegetables in the refrigerator." Potatoes. Vinegar potato shreds, mushroom egg soup, okay?"

"Ah... good." Yu Yan replied, touching his nose a little uncomfortably, the busy figure in the kitchen made him feel strange and familiar.

Cheng Shen hasn't eaten at home for a long time, and he can't remember the last time he cooked was a few years ago.This kind of scene reminded Yu Yan of the cheap single room they rented when they just graduated from college, and they used the public kitchen. No matter how tired Cheng Shen was at work, he still had to cook dinner for him every day.

Later, Cheng Shen became more and more busy, until now, the person who buys vegetables and cooks every day has become Yu Yan.

Cheng Shen beat the eggs neatly, washed the potatoes and shredded them.His slender fingers slid around among the kitchen utensils. He was busy, complaining without raising his head: "I didn't mean you, the refrigerator is empty, I'm not at home, do you eat takeaway every meal? Or just eat a meal Stop for a while, if you don’t eat well every day, if someone falls and slaps your butt, you will get up, and your small body will be broken directly.”

Yu Yan listened, but didn't make a sound.He took out the phone from his trouser pocket. He didn't lie, the phone was really out of battery.

After charging the battery and replying to a few messages, Cheng Shen'an lay quietly at the top of the WeChat list. That was his only top contact, and the last time he had a conversation was half a month ago.

Yu Yan turned off the screen, took the book on the coffee table to his lap to read.Before reading the two lines, Cheng Shen's cell phone suddenly "ding", and the faint blue light was hidden between the sofa pillows, and then fell into Yu Yan's eyes.He didn't think much about it. The intimate relationship between the two has been maintained for so many years, and both life and career are open and bright.

Yu Yan fished Cheng Shen's cell phone to see if there was any important information, and if it was urgent, he had to return it quickly.Unexpectedly, as soon as he put his thumb on the Home button, the phone was taken away before he pressed it.

A drop of water fell into the empty palm, and Yu Yan became stiff for a moment. In the summer, he seemed to be frozen by the drop of water, and his whole body was filled with chills.

Cheng Shen didn't know when he came here. He had just washed the vegetables and hadn't dried his hands, so he took the phone away in a hurry.

"Who is it?" Yu Yan gathered his palms together, the water stains faded away, and he was uncomfortable with the dampness, so he wiped his body indiscriminately.

"It's about work, you can continue reading." Cheng Shen put his phone into his trouser pocket, and instead of replying in a hurry, he lowered his body and kissed Yu Yan on the cheek: "I made your favorite steamed eggs, and I'll be back in a while." Good, good."

Before the warmth on his face dissipated, Cheng Shen had already walked away again.Yu Yan slowly leaned towards the sofa, with a book spread out in the bend of one of his crossed legs, his head slightly bowed, a small piece of bone lay between his thin white neck.Sweeping across the paper with a low gaze, I saw a line of words: "From the beginning, we knew that there will always be an end."

Fingertips suddenly pressed against the margin, Yu Yan sat in this position for a long time.

When he sat down at the dining table, Cheng Shen put the steamed eggs dripped with sesame oil in front of him: "Is this the home-grown egg my mother sent me last month? It's not much in total. Why haven't I finished eating it for so long?"

"Alone, can't remember to eat."

Yu Yan had a plaster cast on his right hand, and it was inconvenient to use chopsticks with his left hand. Cheng Shen thoughtfully handed him a spoon, and asked with a smile, "Do you want me to feed you?"

Yu Yan refused, glanced at the table, and replaced the shredded potatoes with vinegar, mushroom and egg soup with stir-fried vegetables: "Where's the spicy fish?"

Cheng Shen sat down beside Yu Yan, put some vegetables in his bowl: "Why are you still thinking about spicy fish, I threw it away."

"Throw it away?" Yu Yan is usually a gentle person who can't speak loudly, but now he raised his voice as if he had been poked in a certain nerve: "I bought it with money, why did I throw it away?"

Cheng Shen didn't expect his reaction, he was stunned for a moment and said, "I don't eat spicy food, and you can't eat it now, why don't you throw it away."

Yu Yan cherishes things, and immediately went to look for them: "I'll be able to eat in two days, where did you throw it, at the door?"

Cheng Shen pressed him down: "Can you still eat it after two days? It's not expensive. You can buy it after you want to eat it. Do you have to pick up the trash?"

Yu Yan's body paused, and his thoughts began to jump uncontrollably. He suddenly realized that this uneasy seed had been planted in his body at some time, and he was still unwilling to admit it or believe it.

He remembered a long time ago.

At that time, they had just graduated from university, and they did not hide their homosexuality from their parents, and both were kicked out. At that time, Cheng Shen needed money to start a business, and life was very difficult without the support of his family.

Yu Yan accompanied Cheng Shen to eat clear soup and side dishes for more than half a year, and he was so skinny that he didn't say "bitter" in a daze.Cheng Shen was both distressed and guilty, and it happened to be Yu Yan's birthday. He was thinking about Yu Yan's love of spicy food, so he took out 50 yuan from his tight wallet and bought a large portion of spicy fish, hoping to give him a surprise.

As a result, Yu Yan felt bad when he saw it. Not only was he not happy, but he wanted to beat someone anxiously.A good surprise turned into a fright, and Cheng Shen knew why, Yu Yan couldn't bear to part with the 50 yuan.

Cheng Shen felt sorry for Yu Yan who was too sensible, always thinking of him, and wronged himself so badly.

That night, Cheng Shen coaxed Yu Yan for a long time before he convinced Yu Yan. The two gathered around a simple dining table, found the candles that had been used in the power outage and cut them in half, and had a candlelight dinner without turning on the lights.Later, it was hard to say whether it was because of the chili choking or the pain in his heart. Cheng Shen cried while swearing that he would treat Yu Yan even more when he became prosperous in the future. Yu Yan loves spicy food, so he will cook him spicy fish for the rest of his life.

Yu Yan stared at Cheng Shen's face, and slowly sat back bit by bit, even letting go of his tight heart.

He smiled, his face under the light had an almost gentle sadness, the remaining smile looked pale and helpless, and finally condensed into an unspeakable silence.

Yu Yan picked up the spoon to eat, the hot egg custard boiled all the way into his heart, he swallowed it unconsciously, but felt tiny blood bubbles appearing all over his body.

"Yu Yan."

Cheng Shen couldn't stand Yu Yan's silent look, like a clam that couldn't be pried, making it impossible to get a handle on it.

"Are you sure?" Cheng Shen said in a cold voice, "I finally came back for a meal, and you're going to throw me some face for a spicy fish?"

Shake face?Yu Yan guessed that his face was not good-looking now, but he really didn't have the energy to lose his temper.

Yu Yan lowered his eyes and pushed the food towards Cheng Shen: "Eat, it won't taste good if it's cold."

Cheng Shen frowned, Yu Yan's low-browed and pleasing expression somehow pierced into his heart like a thorn.He almost couldn't remember what it was like for Yu Yan to smile at him sincerely.

"Yu Yan, I see that your hand injury has never bothered you. I cook for you and coax you by licking your face. It's not to hear that you are acting weird here."

He was probably saying that he didn't care about the fact that he hadn't contacted him for half a month. Yu Yan understood it and thought it was funny. He couldn't slap him, and Cheng Shen didn't contact him, so it was his fault.

Yu Yan rubbed his eyes tiredly, and asked in a puzzled way: "What else do you want from me?"

"Snapped--"

Cheng Shen threw the chopsticks on the table.

Yu Yan's words completely rekindled the fire that had been accumulated for half a month.

Cheng Shen pushed away the chair and stood up, and went into the bedroom without looking back: "Eat by yourself, I'll take a shower."

Yu Yan heard the footsteps from the bedroom to the bathroom, and the shower was dripping water.Suddenly, I felt that the pain in my arm became unbearable in an instant.

He took two painkillers and took them.In the dog days, thick clouds piled up outside the window, and it was likely to rain heavily, and the weather was very muggy.Yu Yan was sweating all over in the air-conditioned room.

After taking the medicine, he returned to the dining table, wrapped the food in plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator.

The author has something to say:

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!