miss a useless name

21.

"mom!"

Yu Yan's infusion hand clenched the bed sheet tightly, the needle pierced the fragile skin, and soon smeared red blood on the medical tampon.But he used all his strength as if he didn't know the pain, his eyes were red, and he was aggressive, like a cornered beast.

"That's enough," Yu Yan tremblingly raised the corners of his lips, and gave Lin Qiuhua a sneer: "My perfect life, my happy family, which one is not imagined by you? You said that Cheng Shen ruined me, but when I know Cheng Shen has already felt unlucky before, do you know this?"

Yu Yan's elegant and handsome face is actually not suitable for such a fierce expression, but when he really shows it, the stubbornness and stubbornness in his bones can be seen at a glance. This is a very contradictory sense, different from the appearance, which brings The impact is even greater, almost depressing and deeply depressing.

"What you want is an obedient, sensible son who can obey you unconditionally. As long as I can remember, you and my father have asked me to be the best. You want me to be the first in everything, and the first in the exam. Don't let me read extracurricular books, don't let me go out, don't let me make friends. In order to realize your own wishes, force me to study science and change my college entrance examination aspirations."

Yu Yan still remembered that summer, the cicadas were louder than in previous years.When he got the admission notice, it seemed like the whole sky had collapsed.

"I listened to you, and I did it according to your requirements, but have you ever been satisfied? You once asked me if I was happy or not? Do you know what kind of life I want to live? You They don’t even care about me. They don’t even know that I have a cold or a fever. When I fight with others, the corners of my mouth are swollen. happiness?"

Lin Qiuhua was stunned, and finally there was a slight change on his indifferent face.

"Why did I become like this, why did Wenwen become like this, have you ever thought about it? We are too rebellious? We are shameless? We are shameless? What about you! You are glamorous and dignified, you want to be a master, So it's all our fault!"

Yu Yan's questioning was like a sharp knife, he suppressed it for too long and remained silent for too long.This is the second time in his life that he has contradicted Lin Qiuhua, and it is more intense and more direct than the last time.

He tore himself apart, tore apart, and spread out the old sores for his mother to see.

"It's not Cheng Shen that ruined me, but your unrealistic expectations of me."

"Forget it, Mom." Yu Yan's eyes gathered water, he wept calmly, and put away all the extra expressions: "Even if you don't understand, don't bless, and don't hurt each other, then just be strangers." .I'm not the perfect son you imagined. I'm just an ordinary person. I can't meet your requirements. As a mother, you haven't given me the love I want. I can't change this problem. I will still give money If you get on the card regularly, it will be regarded as repaying your kindness of upbringing. I am doing very well now, as for the others, let’s just leave it at that.”

·

Lin Qiuhua left without saying a word.

She may still be unable to accept that her son is gay, and for many years to come, she will not even be able to accept Yu Yan's 20-year silent accumulation of resentment, and even today's unbearable accusations and venting.

But that doesn't matter anymore, whether she understands or doesn't understand is no longer important to Yu Yan.

The ward returned to calm, Yu Yan sat between the white sheets and quilts, his face almost blended with them.

Cheng Shen sat down and hugged him, Yu Yan's face was still wet with tears, but he smiled easily: "Ms. Lin is probably very angry with me."

He spoke innocuously as if nothing had happened.Cheng Shen patted his back, tilted his head and kissed his ear: "Yanyan, don't be afraid, I'm here."

Yu Yan choked suddenly, grabbed Cheng Shen's clothes corner, and buried his face into his neck.

Tears flowed down his cheeks, he wept silently, all his strength fell apart, his fragility was only exposed to Cheng Shen.

"You know," Yu Yan said after a long time, "When she came in, I thought she was here to see if I was okay."

Cheng Shen's heart ached, and he hugged him even harder.

·

The last bottle was hung up quickly, and Cheng Shen held Yu Yan's wet clothes, bent down to tie his shoelaces, and asked, "Want to see Wenwen?"

Yu Yan shook his head: "Another day, I'll go back and give her a call."

"Okay," Cheng Shen picked up the phone that was flooded by the bedside, pressed it twice to turn off the light, and simply said, "Let's go home, and I'll buy you a new one on the way."

After tossing and tossing for a long time, Yu Yan still sat in Cheng Shen's co-pilot.He was still dazed, sitting next to him lazily and didn't want to move, and naturally waited for Cheng Shen to come and fasten his seat belt.

It was still early, and Cheng Shen hadn't had a vacation for a long time. After driving out of the hospital, he drove straight to Financial Street. There is a job paradise that graduates dream of. There are rich businessmen, elites, all kinds of luxurious and high-profile pleasure centers, entertainment venues for luxury, It's also where the rich spend their money.

Cheng Shen's company is also nearby. It stands to reason that he has only graduated a few years ago, so he is not qualified to be in this place.But it doesn't prevent him from having a strong and capable strong woman mother, and a father who collects rent in the Mars shopping mall on the financial street.

Mars shopping mall has three floors, and Cheng Peishuang belongs to it from top to bottom.The third floor is the office building. It is said that Cheng Peishuang himself lives on the top floor of the office building, and that floor is his home. Standing there, he can overlook the entire Financial Street.

In the year of graduation, Yu Yan and Cheng Shen came out to their families respectively, and were kicked out of the house at the same time.

They were cut off from their sources of income by their parents, and it was extremely difficult to support a precarious company.How to fall down and how to stand up at that time, only the two of them knew the hard work.

After the company got on the right track, Cheng Shen's mother, Yue Muyun, softened at first, probably because she felt that she had been busy with work and neglected to accompany her son, but Cheng Shen had never complained, not to mention that he was so outstanding.It doesn't matter whether it's guilt or compensation, or maybe it's because of homosexuality after being in the business circle for a long time, in short, Yue Muyun compromised like this, and accepted it bravely.

So he used his connections to push a lot of resources to Cheng Shen, and even contacted his ex-husband in Beicheng, asking him to remember to take care of his own son.

There was no cheating third party when the two divorced back then, and there was no evil mother-in-law interfering in it. They were purely incompatible, and they were too strong on each other.They got married because of work, and finally broke up peacefully. The process was not vigorous, and the end was not embarrassing. When they were in the same circle, they would always bump into each other. They could still calmly push glasses on the wine table and call them "friends .

In this way, Cheng Shen went smoothly and became a top performer in the financial street.

Yu Yan looked at the increasingly luxurious buildings outside, and asked doubtfully, "Are you going to the company?"

Cheng Shen leaned on the window sill with one hand, and leisurely turned the steering wheel with the other. Hearing this, he glanced to his side: "This is the third time to tell you, I asked for leave today."

"Then why did you come to Financial Street?"

Cheng Shen's face suddenly became a little strange, and his mouth moved, as if he was upset: "Shopping."

One minute later, Cheng Shen parked the car in front of Mars.

"Wait for me in the car, and I'll be back after I do some shopping."

"Ah?" Yu Yan paused and looked around. No one in Financial Street dared to park their private cars on the road: "Can I park here?"

Cheng Shen rubbed his hair: "It's okay, I'll stop for 10 minutes after I said hello."

After he finished speaking, he got out of the car and strode into the mall.After entering, Cheng Shen had a clear goal and went straight to a high-end men's clothing store.

The decoration inside the store is simple and elegant, and the clothes are from well-known foreign designers, and the colors are limited to black, white and gray.

Cheng Shen quickly picked out items, mainly casual wear. He took two three-color T-shirts each, selected a few lapel shirts, and took three pairs of black slacks.He handed the clothes to the clerk and said, "Take the number 180."

While waiting, he found the black and white striped shirt on the model, and Cheng Shen troubled her to make another trip.

After buying, he went out and passed by the mobile phone shop. Cheng Shen took the latest model and left.When I got in the car and started the engine, exactly 10 minutes had passed.

Holding the new phone that Cheng Shen threw over, Yu Yan stared dumbfounded at the shopping bags piled up in the back seat, and said in shock, "What motivates you to go shopping like this?"

Cheng Shen supported the seat to turn on the light and turned around. When he turned around, his eyes lingered on Yu Yan, but he couldn't make out his tone: "I bought you clothes."

Yu Yan was even more shocked: "Why are you buying so many clothes for me? I can't even wear them..."

Cheng Shen frowned, and his lungs were about to explode after holding it for a whole day: "I bought it for you and you put it away, and when I got home, I threw it away."

"..."

Yu Yan leaned back on the chair, and slowly unpacked the phone.If it weren't for Cheng Shen's words, he would have almost forgotten the previous argument in the corridor. This person is really boring, and old vinegar can be so sour.

Yu Yan laughed, put the phone card away, turned on the phone and downloaded a few apps, and immediately received several messages after logging on to WeChat.

He took a cursory look and found that the editor of the publishing house had just sent him a WeChat message: "Teacher Yu, the new show will be due tomorrow at the latest."

When an online novel is published, it is necessary to add a few episodes that are not in the online novel as usual, Yu Yan replied: "Okay."

Scroll down a few lines and see Zhou Fang's: "Xiaoyan, I'm sorry, I was too impulsive today, I hope I didn't cause you any trouble."

Yu Yan's fingers paused, and he seemed to see Zhou Fang's restrained face through the screen.He pursed his lips, drooped the tails of his brows relaxedly, and pressed the words after a while: "No, when will you be free recently, I will treat you to dinner."

Putting away the phone after sending, Yu Yan turned his face and whistled at Cheng Shen: "Hey, do me a favor when you go home."

An hour later, Yu Yan changed into pajamas and lay on the leather sofa at home, his legs were held in Cheng Shen's arms, an unsealed bag of potato chips was placed on his stomach, and he could reach the hot chocolate on the coffee table with his hands. Milk.

Yu Yan read while eating, and Cheng Shen's hand quickly typed on the keyboard.

He has almost finished writing the extra episode, and there is only one last point left to finish. It is difficult to type with his arms hanging. Anyway, Cheng Shen is at home, so of course the free labor must be used well.

But gradually, Yu Yan's voice lowered.Waiting for Cheng Shen to hit the next full stop, he couldn't wait for a reply for a long time. Looking back, he found that Yu Yan had fallen asleep holding potato chips.

He put the computer aside, gently hooked Yu Yan's leg, leaned half of his body over, took away the unfinished potato chip bag, lowered his head, and bit the half piece in Yu Yan's hand into his mouth carefully. picked him up.

Yu Yan moved in Cheng Shen's arms, becoming sticky from sleepiness: "Ah Cheng..."

"Well," Cheng Shen tilted his head to kiss his forehead, and said softly, "Go to sleep."

Yu Yan whispered: "...haven't finished writing yet."

Cheng Shen put Yu Yan on the bed, stroked his cheek with his thumb: "Good boy, get up and write."

Yu Yan groaned, turned sideways and curled up with legs and feet, and fell asleep.

After Cheng Shen covered him with the quilt, he didn't leave immediately, but sat quietly beside the bed.He looked at the face that had been with him for nearly ten years, the years hadn't left any traces, it was exactly the same as when he first saw it.Back then, he was able to say love and love with full confidence, but now, for a moment, Cheng Shen realized that he might not be good enough for him.

·

Yu Yan slept until the afternoon.

The thick curtains block the strong sunlight, Yu Yan thought it was early morning when he opened his eyes.

He sat up, feeling that his headache had eased a lot, and his skin wasn't as hot as it was in the morning.There was no one else in the room, Yu Yan twisted his neck, put on his shoes and got out of bed.

The study door was open, and Cheng Shen was working on his work with his back facing him.He didn't look back after hearing the movement, and said, "Are you awake? There is hot food in the pot, you go and eat first, I'll come over right away."

Yu Yan walked to the kitchen, there was a warming cabinet on the table, and when he opened it, there was Bai Shengsheng's rice and two simple vegetarian dishes.He put the food on the table, and as soon as he put the bowls and chopsticks away, Cheng Shen came out of the room with an empty cup.

"The dishes were fried at noon. I didn't call you because you were sleeping all the time. I know you don't like porridge. Are you hungry?"

Yu Yan paused at the table, staring fixedly at Cheng Shen.

He hasn't felt this way for a long time. Cheng Shen has to go on a business trip every now and then, and works overtime six days a week. Even at home, he always shuts himself in the study, working endlessly.I don't know when, this house became Yu Yan's alone, and Cheng Shen seemed to be passing by in a hurry, and would not stay here for a long time.

Yu Yan went home alone, faced with the emptiness of the room, and lost interest in cooking, Chang stopped by to pack a takeaway.The top-level apartment is fully equipped, and he has looked at the kitchen utensils, beds, and daily necessities countless times. Any words related to "fireworks on earth" will bring great loneliness and loneliness.

It's been a long time since they sat down calmly and had a good meal.

"Why are you staring blankly? Sit down." Cheng Shen pulled the stool away: "Aren't you going to write something after eating, so take advantage of me while I'm at home. Let's find a movie to watch at night, we haven't watched a movie at home for a long time, you What type do you want to watch? Suspense or art?"

Yu Yan smiled, walked to Cheng Shen's side, and put his left hand around his neck.He couldn't hug Cheng Shen completely, the plaster was in the way in the middle, so he could only hug half of it.

"I want to watch..." Yu Yan leaned close to Cheng Shen's ear, and said in a vague way, "Action movie."