miss a useless name

47.

When I went to meet Fang Kaifeng for the second time, Yu Yan's resistance obviously faded a lot, and he was able to take the initiative to chat with Fang Kaifeng.

Fang Kaifeng changed the medicine according to his condition, and told Cheng Shen that there will be a period of discomfort after changing the medicine, so please pay attention to the patient's emotions.

Yu Yan looked very happy when he came out of the hospital. Cheng Shen asked him what he had talked with Dr. Fang, and he said as if offering a treasure: "Dr. Fang said that I have made progress."

Yu Yan is wearing a warm down jacket today, short black, looking very energetic.When I said this, I could vaguely see the brilliance of the past in my eyes, and everything seemed to be developing in a good direction.

After getting in the car, Cheng Shen fastened the seat belt for Yu Yan: "It's been so cold recently, I don't know if it will snow."

Yu Yan childishly breathed on the window, and drew a heart on it with his fingers: "Can I go to have a snowball fight when it's snowing?"

Cheng Shen turned on the light and turned around: "That depends on your performance."

"Doctor Fang has praised me."

"It doesn't matter what he said," Cheng Shen turned the steering wheel carelessly, the ring on the ring finger of his left hand gathered a cluster of light, like a diamond dotted on it: "If you can eat a whole bowl of rice every meal for three consecutive days , not only snowball fights, but also snowmen.”

"Cut," Yu Yan didn't fall into the trap: "I'll just talk casually, who will hit me in such a cold day."

·

It's the end of the year, and Cheng Shen's visits to Financial Street have increased significantly recently.But he was worried that Yu Yan was alone at home, always running around, going back and forth four or five times a day, just in time for the strong wind to cool down, and several of his staff had caught a cold, Cheng Shen lived up to his hard work, and honored to join the army of colds.

He was afraid of infecting Yu Yan, so he stayed away from him when he spoke, and only hugged people from behind, and he didn't dare to kiss anyone for several days.

After drinking cold medicine at night, Cheng Shen was sleepy while working at his desk, and his tears flowed down. Yu Yan asked three times and four times to ask someone to go to bed but was rejected. It was just in time for him not to adapt after changing the medicine. In a fit of anger, he closed Cheng Shen's computer forcefully. , grabbed the other person's arm and dragged him back to the bedroom.

Cheng Shen was still in shock, and almost lost his work all night, and was about to wake up from the fright: "Damn, luckily I saved it in advance!"

Hearing his strong nasal voice, Yu Yan couldn't help frowning, and retorted: "If you don't come here, I'll close the lid."

Taking off his shoes and going to bed, Yu Yan pulled the quilt up to Cheng Shen's chin: "No matter how bad it is, I'm not allowed to come back at noon."

Cheng Shen's throat was sore, and he begged Yu Yan for water rustlingly.

Yu Yan waited and fed them, and was a little tired after taking the medicine, so they simply lay down together.

Cheng Shen turned his back to Yu Yan, and gave him the back of his head coldly: "I can't bear it anymore, I'll go to bed first, call me if you need something."

Yu Yan tucked him in the quilt, and within 2 minutes he heard Cheng Shen's even breathing.

He rubbed his temples, the side effects of the new medicine hadn't fully appeared, he was always tired these days, his chest felt tight, but it was hard to sleep in bed.Yu Yan turned over and counted Cheng Shen's messy hair in the dark.

In fact, he couldn't see clearly at all, he panicked in idleness.

I don't know how long it took, but the dark room suddenly lit up.

Yu Yan poked his head from Cheng Shen's shoulder and neck, it was Cheng Shen's mobile phone on the bedside table.

Someone called, and the name in the note was "Special Assistant Ruan".

Yu Yan had never heard of such a person, but Cheng Shen was stabbed by the bright light and turned over.

He was unconscious after taking the medicine before, and Yu Yan had done a lot of bad things, but this time he was sober, and he didn't dare to randomly answer Cheng Shen's phone call.The phone flickered for a while and then stopped, Yu Yan didn't know if it was urgent, he hesitated to wake up Cheng Shen, before he could figure out why, the phone turned on again.

Probably in a hurry, Yu Yan poked Cheng Shen's chest: "Cheng Shen, call me."

Cheng Shen struggled to open one eye, and grabbed his hand in a daze: "...what?"

Yu Yan pulled out his hand and patted him: "Phone, someone is calling you."

Cheng Shen sighed heavily, turned around to answer the phone impatiently, and said in a hurry, "Who is it?"

The other party didn't know what to say over there, Yu Yan felt that the aura around Cheng Shen quickly sank, and then he spoke in a cold voice: "I see, the original plan."

After speaking, I hung up.

Yu Yan lay on the pillow, using the light of his mobile phone to see Cheng Shen's furrowed eyebrows: "What's the matter, what happened?"

Cheng Shen paused, as if he had been called back to his soul by Yu Yan.He put the mobile phone back on the bedside table, and he didn't know why he was going crazy, he hooked Yu Yan's waist and carried him on his back.

He hugged Yu Yan from behind, put his forehead against Yu Yan's shoulder and neck, took a deep breath, and said with a smile: "Honey, do you drink too much milk, you always smell of milk on your body."

Have it?Yu Yan grabbed the neckline of his pajamas and sniffed it, only smelling the smell of citrus shower gel: "Aren't you having a blocked nose?"

"When I see you, I can understand everything."

Yu Yan was speechless: "You also poured it."

"Oh," Cheng Shen suddenly realized, his tone sounded like he had won a big deal: "So I made you so sweet, give me a quick bite."

"oops……"

Yu Yan twisted his waist and struggled, and Cheng Shen's neck was covered with saliva: "What are you... don't you have a cold!"

Cheng Shen's drowsiness was wiped out by a phone call. He clasped Yu Yan's waist tightly, sprayed his scorching breath on the back of his neck, and then pulled off Yu Yan's pants.

"Don't move, come from the back." Cheng Shen squeezed himself in: "If you move again, be careful not to catch a cold."

Yu Yan gripped the pillow tightly, feeling strange and something was wrong, but Cheng Shen was too hard, he couldn't help but think about those thoughts deeply and couldn't hold on anymore.

·

The advantage of exercising is that most of Cheng Shen's cold recovered the next day, but Yu Yan looked like a wilted eggplant in comparison, not very energetic.

Before leaving in the morning, Cheng Shen rubbed Yu Yan's hair and said to him, "I'm going to be a little busy today, and I might not be able to make it back by noon."

Yu Yan half-hid his face under the quilt, and responded in a daze: "It's okay, you are busy with your work, An Ning is coming to sign an agreement with me today."

"Okay, then you can leave her at home for lunch, and I will try to get off work as early as possible."

"Know it."

After Cheng Shen left, Yu Yan fell asleep again.It's terrible, I can't sleep normally, and I can't wake up after doing bad things.

At about 09:30, he dawdled to get up.

After resigning, Yu Yan never went to the magazine again, and many personal belongings are still stored there.An Ning came to him today mainly to sign the gift agreement for the third book, and to help him bring things here.

An Ning didn't arrive until eleven o'clock. At that time, Yu Yan was stewing beef in a pot. The girl yelled that it was delicious as soon as she entered the door, and she wanted to get into the beef pot.

After a few dishes were cooked, the two sat down and had dinner.

An Ning said: "Teacher Yu, the editor-in-chief let me take my lunch break an hour earlier, it's all for your sake."

There was only half a bowl in Yu Yan's bowl, and all the big fish and meat were pushed to Anning's side, and a stack of light fried spinach was placed in front of him.Hearing this, he smiled: "I don't have any face."

An Ning ate the meat unceremoniously, with steam in her mouth: "Really, the editor-in-chief often mentioned you to me, saying that it's a pity that you left." She was filled with righteous indignation: "Oh! It's all because of that crap!"

During the recent period, Yu Yan has rarely thought about the cyber violence back then.Drug effect is one aspect, and deliberate evasion is also another aspect, just like he still dare not surf the Internet after getting his mobile phone, subconsciously put that piece into the danger zone, and dare not touch it easily, for fear of stepping on thunder.

Cheng Shen has always been careful not to mention these things to him, but An Ning doesn't know about Yu Yan's illness, and only knows that his resignation happened after the cyberbullying, so she takes this as the only reason.

Yu Yan looked a little unnatural, and the hand holding the chopsticks trembled slightly.He quickly squeezed it tightly, and put a piece of spinach into his mouth.

An Ning's eyes were wide-eyed and his heart was careless, so he changed the topic and said, "Teacher Yu, I actually admire you a lot."

Yu Yan glanced at her.

An Ning said: "I think you are too courageous. You resign when you say you are at work, and seal your pen when you say it. How much confidence do you have! Little people like us can only hope to catch up."

The fact is exactly the opposite, it is precisely because of lack of courage, lack of confidence and inability to face up that one can withdraw from the vortex so readily.This is a typical "chicken" approach and not commendable at all.

Yu Yan gave An Ning a piece of beef: "Work hard, don't learn from me."

An Ning couldn't hear the voice-over, but finally realized that she was eating the meat.She looked at the rice in Yu Yan's bowl: "Teacher Yu, you are thin enough, do you want to lose weight?"

"Recently, my stomach is not feeling well. I'll eat something light. The meat is made for you. Thank you for helping me get things."

After lunch, An Ning argued with Yu Yan for a long time on the grounds that he needed to wash the dishes, but he finally stopped him by saying that he came from a long way.

After Yu Yan finished washing the dishes, it was almost time for An Ning to leave. She took out the documents from her bag and said, "Mr. Yu, the agreement is in triplicate. After you sign it, we can prepare for the follow-up work."

Yu Yan took a pen to sign and asked about the process by the way.

An Ning pointed to the cardboard box that was brought in: "A total of 500 copies of "Hui Yin" were printed, and I left two copies for you in the box according to your request, and the rest are not so complicated. They are free anyway. Open a forwarding lottery, and also promote the website by the way."

Yu Yan nodded and had no opinion.

After signing, Yu Yan left an agreement.

"By the way, Teacher Yu, I almost forgot..." An Ning said, "Didn't the previous signings be cancelled? Because it was our fault, it involved a little bit of compensation. But don't worry, the editor-in-chief said. The money comes from the website, but you signed the contract directly with the organizer at that time, and the website is not archived. Now I want to scan a copy of the contract in your hand, and I just happened to take it back with me.”

"Contract?" Yu Yan frowned, they moved here in a hurry, only brought some clothes and daily necessities, and all the work documents were still in the apartment on the outskirts of the city: "The contract is not here, when do you want it?"

"It's best to give it to me before I get off work today, the organizer is urging me."

Yu Yan's face darkened, and he said, "Okay, I see, I'll take a picture and scan it so I can send it to you."

Seeing An Ning away, Yu Yan was a little flustered.He couldn't tell if the feeling was real or if it was a side effect of the medication.

Yu Yan wants to call Cheng Shen, it has become a habit to rely on him after illness.He dialed the number and became anxious while waiting.The phone was picked up when it was about to hang up automatically. Cheng Shen had been busy for a long time, his throat ached more and more, and when he spoke, it felt like a saw had been cut: "Hello, Yanyan?"

The moment Yu Yan heard the hoarse voice, he swallowed everything he said.He felt Cheng Shen's hard work and exhaustion: "It's okay, let me ask if you have lunch, don't forget it."

Cheng Shen laughed on the other side: "Did you miss me?"

Yu Yan picked at the sofa and said softly, "Yes, I miss you very much."

"Wait a little longer, it will be much easier after these two days of busy work."

After hanging up the phone, Yu Yan sat alone on the sofa for a long time.After going out last time, Cheng Shen took him for a walk around the neighborhood a few times, and even went downstairs for a walk when it was dark.

When it is dark or when Cheng Shen is by his side, he will feel more secure, but Yu Yan occasionally feels that he is spoiled. He can still go out alone before seeing a doctor. Before he is convinced that he has such a disease, he It is clearly possible to stand alone.

There are no scourges outside the door, and today is even a sunny day.

On a sunny afternoon in winter, the string of these words became the driving force for Yu Yan to step out of the threshold.

He couldn't always rely on Cheng Shen, since the other party had given up too much for him since his illness, even Doctor Fang said that he was making progress, so, is going out from here a big step forward?

Thinking about this, Yu Yan went back to the house and changed his clothes, carefully put on his hat and glasses, and put on the car keys.

From home to the garage, Yu Yan kept his head down, like a lone ranger lurking in the dark night.

It wasn't until I got into the car that the panic gradually subsided.He took out a paper towel to wipe his sweat, and found that his palms were sticky, dull feeling and beads of sweat rolled from his forehead.

Yu Yan tried his best to take a few deep breaths, lay down on the steering wheel for a moment to adjust his emotions, and set out on the road only after he felt better.

As soon as the car drove out, he seemed to be a different person again, with a calm face and familiar movements. He even lit a cigarette while waiting for the red light.

During this period of time, he was under strict supervision, and Yu Yan never found a chance to smoke.At this time, in order to relieve anxiety and cheer up, the closed compartment and a cigarette gave him a great sense of security.

After the Mid-Autumn Festival, Yu Yan has always regarded this apartment as a thorn in his heart, untouchable, untouchable.Here that night, he broke a glass vase, and the shards cut his foot, intertwining with cold water and flower petals into a strange scene.

Yu Yan later relived it in his dream more than once, and each time it made him feel heartbroken.It wasn't just the vase that was broken that night, but also his self-esteem.Not only flowers and water are left on the ground, but also a heart that has been whipped into rotten flesh.

The mess had already been sorted out, the vase was gone, the wooden frame was lifted up, and a plush doll was put on it in a funny way.Only that door was closed tightly, becoming a scar that neither Cheng Shen nor Yu Yan dared to touch easily.

Yu Yan has been sweating since he entered the door, the acrid sweat flowed through his fair forehead and narrowed into his eyes, giving birth to sour tears.

Yu Yan's feet were as weak as that night, and he knocked on the ground with one knee after taking a step. He supported the porcelain white floor tiles, the icy cold surged, and a drop of unbearable tears hit the ground, as if throwing a thousand weights into the lake. stone.

A huge splash of water wet Yu Yan from head to toe.He gritted his teeth, propped himself up on his knees, and broke into the study almost like running away. The moment the door closed behind him, Yu Yan collapsed to the ground.

So useless, he thought.

He leaned against the door, pinched his fingers into his palms, and leaned his neck back to the extreme.Yu Yan smiled in a trance, his Adam's apple wet with sweat rolled up and down, swallowing the empty air in front of him.

Fang Kaifeng said that he has made progress. He resisted the first wave of side effects of the drug. He is gradually getting better and can already drive here alone.Who knows, a door knocked him back to his original shape.

Yu Yan felt that he was still being brave, and that he should ask Cheng Shen directly for help in this kind of matter. He gradually learned and adapted to ask Cheng Shen, and he was better at this point than anything else.

"I shouldn't have come." Yu Yan said silently.

After a few minutes, the sweat gradually subsided. He wiped his face and stood up while holding the door. He later realized that his knee hurt because he fell when he entered the door.

He rubbed it randomly and walked towards the bookcase.

Due to their hobbies and occupations, they have too many family books to put down, so they have to sort them out every once in a while, and put some in the storage room.

Yu Yan had a lot of books, and Cheng Shen had a lot of documents. The two divided the bookcase into three or seven, and put the documents in the third and fourth rows.

After Yu Yan took the medicine, his memory declined a bit, and sometimes his reaction was slow.For example, now, among the rows of documents displayed, he couldn't remember where the contract he needed was probably located.

The time to sign the contract is not long, so it should be on the sidelines.Yu Yan flipped through the documents from left to right, his memory deteriorated but his analysis ability did not deteriorate, and he quickly found the contract.

Yu Yan took out his phone to take a picture, then scanned it with software, and sent it to An Ning after processing, and the other party replied quickly.

He breathed a sigh of relief, he just broke out in a sweat, and now his underwear is a little cold against his back.Yu Yan couldn't help feeling that it was finally over, and now he just wanted to get in the car and go home quickly, and he wanted to smoke a cigarette on the way.

Putting the files back to their original place, Yu Yan was about to close the cabinet door.With a glance, he saw that there was still a copy on top of the row of documents below, and he almost rolled his eyes. Only Cheng Shen could do such a frivolous thing.

This person has always been careless in his work, and he does as he pleases. Everything is messed up, and Yu Yan often follows behind to clean it up.

Yu Yan sighed, guessing that this document was recently taken out to look through, the bookcase was still tidy when he left home last time.

Resigned to his fate, he helped Cheng Shen deal with the aftermath, picked up the document and prepared to insert it in the middle.When I moved, I felt that the color of the paper was wrong, the corners were curled, and it was already turning yellow. It looked like it was old and hadn't been well preserved.

It shouldn't be, Cheng Shen has done a good job in this regard, keeping all useful and useless documents properly, and will not deal with them lightly to prevent future needs.

What about this...

Yu Yan paused, took back the document that was about to be placed, and gently opened a page.

Life is full of ups and downs like this. People are driven by fate to overcome difficulties, walk through rough and thorny roads to the flat ground, and go to destruction because of accidentally touching a button.

After 30 seconds, Yu Yan's expression suddenly went blank.

After 1 minute, Yu Yan's vision suddenly blurred, he couldn't read the text clearly, so he had to hold the document up close to him.

Maybe it was too close, he began to feel dizzy, his fingers trembled uncontrollably, his lower abdomen twitched, and he had a strong desire to vomit.

Yu Yan didn't even have time to go to the bathroom, so he dropped the document on the floor with a shaking of his hand, and retched a couple of times while supporting the bookshelf, but he couldn't spit out anything.

There was a roar in his ears, and he stood in front of the cabinet for a long time like a fool.Until his eyes slowly focused on the ring on the ring finger engraved with Cheng Shen's initials, his heart finally burst into unbearable pain.

But the pain was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

Yu Yan subconsciously held his breath, the incoming call showed a series of unfamiliar numbers, the place of origin was Beicheng, it didn't look like a real estate sales call or a scam call.

The phone hangs up automatically at the last ring, and before Yu Yan can relax, the other party calls again.

They confronted each other in silence for a long time, the ringing of the bell was like the devil's sharp claws, engulfing Yu Yan's body from all directions and pervasively.

Fingers running through the fine hair, Yu Yan is like a beast that has been persecuted to the edge of a cliff.He stared, gearing up, he wanted to break through the wind and clouds and trample the abyss under his feet, he wanted to live.

Finally, Yu Yan swiped the screen to answer.

The other party showed no anger or dissatisfaction, and introduced himself unhurriedly: "Hello, my surname is Cheng, and I am Cheng Shen's father."