Baima Weiyang

I fell asleep all night, as if I had been dreaming, but I couldn't remember what I dreamed.As soon as the sky dawned, I couldn't sleep more soundly.Just as I was about to turn over, the bed sheet moved, and my sight immediately dimmed. The sunlight coming in from the window seemed to be blocked by something.

"Kuukou—" There was a sudden knock on the door, the tone was not high, but it seemed a bit abrupt in the sleeping environment.There was a slight sound of footsteps in my ears, the wooden door slammed, and a few rustling whispers came, but I couldn't hear them clearly.When the wooden door was closed, I woke up completely.

I sat up suddenly, my head was dizzy and swollen, I rubbed my temples, but my eyes narrowed because I couldn't adapt to the strong light all at once.Probably it was too late last night to talk to each other, even Tsangyang Gyatso, who is always used to getting up early, was a bit late, let alone me, I couldn't sleep all night, and I was exhausted physically and mentally.

After sitting blankly for a while, I finally got the strength to get up and wash up.After eating a few more pastries, I no longer feel hypoglycemic.Suddenly thinking of the whisper in his sleep, Tsangyang Gyatso seemed to be walking in a hurry, not knowing what happened.

There was a sudden jump in my chest, I was stunned, and the uneasy feeling in my heart became more and more intense.After wandering around the room several times, I decided to go out and have a look.As soon as he pushed open the door, he saw Ngawang Rinchen leaning against the wall with a blurred expression on his thin face.

I froze for a moment, and the anxiety in my heart seemed to be fulfilled.I couldn't see him in the past, but it happened at this juncture. Could it be... I didn't have time to make more guesses, so I ran up quickly, "Ngawang Rinchen, what did Master do?"

Ngawang Rinchen stood up straight suddenly, but just stared at me, with a faint light flashing in his eyes.I paused, and suddenly felt that my throat was too tight to breathe. I took a deep breath, and asked softly, "Is Diba here?"

Ngawang Rinchen was taken aback, his eyes fixed on me, and he nodded after a long while with a troubled expression on his face.Seeing him like this, I calmed down inexplicably, and raised my voice, "Where is he?" Ngawang Rinchen didn't seem to intend to hide it from me, so he told me without hesitation, "Tsochen Hall."

I heard this, and turned around to leave, but Ngawang Rinchen suddenly grabbed my hand from behind, "Dolma." A faint voice came from behind my head.I turned around and looked at him inexplicably.

The person on the opposite side smiled with a bit of distress, and there was a faint haze in his eyes, "I didn't intend to stop you. It's just that my father is not easy to talk to, so you must not confront him head-on."

When I heard this, a faint joy filled my heart instantly, and I grinned and said, "Thank you." Ngawang Rinchen let go of his hand when he heard the words. Although he was smiling, his eyes were still gloomy.I turned around quickly and regretted after taking two steps.After thinking about it, I decided to turn around.Seeing that I turned back again, Ngawang Rinchen looked at me in surprise.

I looked at him and made a big smile, "Ngawang Rinchen, I want to thank you again. Also, I know it's not you. I believe you." He stared at me blankly for a while. Only then did he suddenly realize that he laughed, and the faint haze in his eyes also dissipated.

I don't know when, I had a grudge with this man who used to have a drink and talk like a wind, maybe because of Tsangyang Gyatso's displeasure, he gradually became indifferent to me.

In fact, I understand very well that Ngawang Rinchen is extremely soft and kind in nature, and his estrangement is to avoid putting me in a dilemma.But I don't want to cut off the friendship between us. After all, in this special time and space, everyone who makes me feel warm is worthy of my cherishment.Whether it is hypocrisy or selfishness, I hope that the barriers will disappear.

Today, that's enough.

Smiling unconsciously again, I ran forward.Then I thought about Tsangyang Gyatso, and my heart felt like it had been sprinkled with chili powder, it hurt and burned.He stepped up his pace and ran wildly all the way.From time to time, monks and pilgrims cast surprised glances at me.I didn't pay attention to it at all, and I just competed with my feet.

I don't know if it was because I ran too fast, the wind rubbed my cheeks so painfully, and when I thought of Cangyang Gyatso's words last night, tears burst out of my eyes uncontrollably.When I saw the main hall of Tsochen gradually appearing, my vision slowly closed.

On the square in front of the hall, the flames in the mulberry furnace were jumping as usual, and the curling smoke enveloped the whole square.I slowed down my pace, slowly walked up the last few steps, bypassed the colonnade, and arrived at the gate of the main hall, but my steps were so heavy that I couldn't move anymore.

Although the scripture hall of Tsochin Hall is large in scale, there are no windows on the surrounding walls, and only a raised skylight is opened in the center of the top for lighting.The long yellow ribbons of the sutra flags and dense thangkas hang from top to bottom, making the already dimly lit sutra hall even darker.

In the entire dark environment, only a small beam of light is projected onto the huge Buddha statue through the skylight, creating a religious artistic conception of "the whole world is dark, only the light of Buddha".

I held onto the door frame and was about to step in, but there was a "clang" sound from inside.My heart tightened, and my nails sank into the soft wood.Resisting the uncomfortable feeling of the accelerated heartbeat hitting my chest, I adjusted my breathing secretly, and finally lifted my foot and stepped in.

In order not to attract attention, I deliberately turned around from the side.The densely packed prayer flag thangkas covered my sight, and I stretched out my hand to raise a corner, and the familiar figure came into view, and my heart skipped a beat.

Cangyang Gyatso was kneeling motionless in front of the huge Buddha statue, his body showing a bit of stiffness that he had only seen after kneeling for a long time.Slowly moving his gaze to the right, there was a butter lamp lying on the ground in Aga, the oil leaked out, and the weak flame had already been extinguished.

Standing next to the butter lamp was a pair of soapy black Tibetan boots, the uppers of which were stained with dried mud.I raised my head slowly, and what caught my eyes was a man in a dark blue custom robe, with sharp eyes and eagle nose, raised sword eyebrows, a hint of anger on Fang Zheng's face, and slightly trembling hands holding back patiently. Co-authored by Zhang Yi.

I couldn't help but froze. This should be the fifth Dipa Sangye Gyatso.He is nearly fifty years old, but his figure is so tall and straight that he doesn't look old. Just looking at him from a distance, he can feel a sense of oppression. He is indeed an extraordinary person just like the records in historical materials.

Seeing the anger in his eyes slowly solidify, I felt uneasy for a while.In terms of status, he is naturally not qualified to criticize the first lama, but as Gaila of Tsangyang Gyatso, he has full qualifications.Teachers have always been respected and respected since ancient times, not to mention that living Buddhas are different from ordinary people, so they are naturally more strict with them.

Sanjay Gyatso didn't notice me behind the Thangka, his eyes stayed on Tsangyang Gyatso all the time, trembling, mixed with a trace of heartache.Suddenly, he slammed the Buddhist beads in his hand towards Cangyang Gyatso's face, and a rough scolding sound filled the entire hall, "Have you forgotten all the Buddhist rules and regulations?!"

Cangyang Gyatso didn't dodge in the slightest, and let the beads brush against his forehead, and the scattered beads jumped to the smooth Aga ground in a panic.I felt a pain in my chest, and I held the prayer flag tightly with my fingers. It took all my rationality to resist the urge to run up.It wasn't until the dull pain came from my hands that I regained my normal breathing rate.

Cangyang Gyatso did not speak, but Sanjay Gyatso gave him a complicated look, then turned around and walked out the door.

The hall fell silent all of a sudden, and I stood there numbly, with bursts of stiffness in my calves.Just now I was anxious to go up, but now I have a chance, but I start to hesitate again.I want to know if Cangyang Gyatso is injured, but I don't know what expression to use to face him.

I stared blankly at his slender back, and that rainy night suddenly flashed in my mind.He stood with his back stiff, letting the icy rain beat against his cheeks.The dilemma between the holy life and the world of mortals, the contradiction in his heart, the pain of being torn apart... It turns out that for a long time, what he has endured is far beyond my imagination.

I sat slumped on the ground of Aga, feeling weak in my legs.Surrounded by long yellow belts of prayer flags, solemn and solemn, but it made my body feel chills.Looking at the azure light above the head, the dust in the air is floating like being controlled by gravity, and there is a feeling of remoteness.

Following the white beam of light and moving his gaze down, Tsangyang Gyatso was still kneeling motionless, as if he had no intention of getting up.Since you want to punish yourself, count me in too!I gently put down the prayer flag, moved my lower leg slightly, and knelt down on the spot.

In fact, I vastly overestimated my own capacity.Kneeling on the cold and hard Aga ground without the cushion of pulu pads, my knees started to hurt after a while.I resisted not moving, trying to push through, but the knee felt like it was covered with pins and needles, and the pain made me grin my teeth for a moment.I reached out to rub my knees, but unexpectedly the prayer flag was moved by me.