sunspot said

Song Hailin made a phone call to Pan Shicheng. As soon as the color bell rang, he subconsciously wanted to hang up.What are you doing on the phone?Pan Shicheng is the same as him, a high school student, a child, it was already difficult for him to investigate the matter before, and the information he obtained from the traffic police brigade before must be all he can do, and it is impossible to find anything. Hide something.Digging something that deep is, after all, not an easy task.

Before he had time to regret it, Pan Shicheng immediately picked it up.

Song Hailin rubbed his face, and it wasn't until Pan Shicheng said "Hello" a few times that he seemed to have found his own voice, and said, "Fucking Pan."

"If you don't speak for a long time, I thought you were kidnapped!" Pan Shicheng shouted on the phone.

"Is there anything to tie, dig out my kidney?"

What Song Hailin originally wanted to say was swallowed by him, and he could only bite the bullet and talk nonsense with Pan Shicheng, lamenting the destruction of the city by modern industrial civilization, lamenting lamenting lamenting life, lamenting lamenting the evil exam-oriented education.Finally, when he had almost nothing to say, Pan Shicheng asked in a calm voice, "What exactly do you want to say?"

"I miss you, don't you?" Song Hailin said.

"Come on, the No. [-] cold-blooded person in Tianzi is talking about you," Pan Shicheng said, "You can't remember who I am even after the world is turned upside down, so tell me what's wrong with you."

Song Hailin sighed.

"What's the matter, what are you trying to tell me?" Pan Shicheng felt nervous for no reason, subconsciously glanced at the toy box under his bed, and shook his head.Impossible, Song Hailin himself could not find out about this matter.

Song Hailin sighed again, and said, "Fucking Pan, I'm in love."

"I...you..." Pan Shicheng stumbled for a long time before choking out two words.

"Talking, falling in love? Men and women, falling in love, did you hear me wrong, did you misunderstand the sentence, it's a carbon chain, oh well, are you asking me a chemistry question, a carbon chain, right? Fuck, man Girl." Pan Shicheng muttered very fast, as if dictating the process of the brain's operation, Song Hailin always felt that his ears were full of his chanting, and he couldn't drive it away no matter how hard he tried.

"Dating, I, the man." Song Hailin said.

"I..." Pan Shicheng just opened his mouth when Song Hailin interrupted him in time, "If you sigh again, I will hang up the phone, believe it or not."

"male……"

Song Hailin hung up the phone.

He pressed a few times on the phone randomly, Luan Jingnian's words were still rolling in his mind over and over again, the true and false sentences, the messy speculations, and the gradually darkening sky around them all reminded him, How alone he is now.

It was also the first time that he realized that standing here, he had nothing to do but naively want to chase his so-called dream without hesitation.

Powerless.

he thinks.

Perhaps Song Hailin himself didn't realize it, but when he thought about it many years later, he was holding the mobile phone in his hand, watching the evening with the black and black wind passing by before him. The beginning of a hooded journey on a completely different path.

After returning from the county seat, Su Shen didn't have much energy, and Tian Zhe was not surprised. After the hospital's examination, even individuals would feel uncomfortable for a few days and would not want to move.

Su Shen lay on his back on the bed, smiling in his heart, seeing Qu Shiran, it was psychological torture, and going to the hospital for an examination was physical torture, when the same thing came, it was uncomfortable, let alone together.

Song Hailin came into the house with a big bun stuffed with fennel, wrapped in the smell of sunshine.

The sky gradually warmed up, Song Hailin changed out of his thick clothes early, Su Shen sometimes looked at him with squinted eyes and a smile, and couldn't help being dazed.

The school uniform has never been issued to Song Hailin, so he just wears his own clothes all day long and mixes with a bunch of classmates who are out of place.Su Shen originally wanted to describe him with words like handsome and long legs, but the most intuitive word that caught his attention was incompatibility.No matter how much time passed, he always felt that Song Hailin didn't belong here.But he is doomed to be tied to this place for the rest of his life, and cannot escape for the rest of his life.

The feeling is excruciating.

Knowing that two people holding hands are destined to rush straight into the darkness, but they are still reluctant to let go, the feeling.

Waiting slowly, a certain day will come.

That day, on the road, will come, but I don't know when.

Wish it was slower.

Su Shen has something that he doesn't want Song Hailin to know, and Song Hailin has it too.The two covered each other, and the two collided with each other, resulting in a temporary peace.

The county hospital was procrastinating, and the test results hadn't come out for several weeks. Su Shen was busy preparing for the math competition and didn't care.

He squinted his eyes and yawned, exhaling white breath one after another, until his eyes were full of tears.

Song Hailin pushed him to the school, and said as he walked, "Did you stay up late again?"

"You yawn even if you don't stay up late." Su Shen said and yawned again, rubbing the tears that came out.

"Then it's better to stay up late, you know who is prone to sudden death."

"Hey, I'm so young and strong." Su Shen tightened the sleeves of his school uniform, "Besides, I have to prepare for the competition."

As soon as he talked about the competition, he stopped talking and didn't continue talking.

Be it this math competition or the last physics competition, he took it very seriously, very, very seriously.But he somehow didn't want Song Hailin to experience his feelings.It's not just about being considerate and not making him feel guilty about the last physics competition, but the deeper reason, maybe he doesn't want to admit it in his heart.

He didn't want Song Hailin to catch a glimpse of his desperate struggle for a little score in the college entrance examination.

He has low self-esteem.

Really, inferiority complex.

Perhaps he is proud on the surface and even deep in his heart as if he doesn't know how to write these two characters, but he knows that the more he flaunts in his heart, the more scarce it is in the most hidden place.Similar to Toad puffing up his stomach pretentiously, the infinitely swollen arrogance and conceit in his heart is actually a cover for his inferiority complex.

The more you ask for nothing, the more perfect your fiction will be.

Especially in front of Song Hailin.

In front of someone who seemed to have everything he had asked for countless days and nights.

But for that person, he couldn't be jealous, couldn't have any bad thoughts.Because, he likes that person.

like very much.

He couldn't help but look back at Song Hailin.

"Brother, I will accompany you to this math competition." Song Hailin suddenly said this without thinking, which made him startled.

He frowned and said, "This time the test center is in the city."

"I know," Song Hailin said, "I just want to accompany you and wait for you outside the examination room."

After saying these words, Su Shen understood a little bit. He rubbed the little string on his wrist and said, "Don't worry about that physics competition."

Song Hailin didn't speak.

"I always feel that some things in the world are predestined. The result is there. There is always some power in the dark that will guide people to the end. I can't change it." Su Shen lowered his eyelids, he was not only comforting Song Hailin, but also reminding himself, "So, even if it wasn't because of Qiao Bin, there would be other accidents that would prevent me from getting the award."

Song Hailin stopped suddenly.

I don't know where the anger came from, and it rushed to Tianling Gai all of a sudden, together with the original, suppressed in my heart these days, it flooded into an uncontrollable posture.

"Su Shen!" He yelled, startling Su Shen, "Can you not do this! What kind of fate do you accept! What do you say is destined! Do you know how well you should have lived? Don't complain, why are you still happy and happy, do you know! Do you know..."

what do you know?What did he almost say?

Song Hailin was shocked, and there was a bang in his head, and the alarm bell was loud.

His voice suddenly weakened, and the words he was about to blurt out were trapped in the middle of his throat by his remaining rationality, and slowly sucked into his stomach.

Song Hailin covered his eyes with one hand.

After taking a few deep breaths, he turned around and strode away.

Su Shen was stunned for a while on the road, and then sighed softly.

He... knows.

Knowing that he is excellent, knowing that he can be even better, knowing that fate is unfair to him, knowing that even if God has such pity for him, he will be [-] times better than he is now.But what is the use of knowing?I would rather be a fool and not understand anything.

Knowing this, if you feel sorry for yourself and think about complaining about some illusory things all day long, then it will be even worse.

It was bad enough.

Hey……

He sniffled his nose a few times from the cold, and slowly turned the wheelchair.

Sure enough, I am used to being pushed by others, and now I don't want to do it myself.They are all used to it.

He took a sharp breath and felt that the surroundings seemed to be a lot muddied.A little stuffy.

When approaching the school gate, the feeling of being out of breath became more and more serious, and even hurt the trachea a bit.Startled him.

His lungs have been bad.

It's the aftermath of a car accident.In fact, there are many sequelae. If you have to count them one by one, you really can't count them in a while.The most dangerous time was the complication of paralysis, bed sore infection in summer, fever over 40 degrees, and he took medicine for heatstroke and stayed in the classroom for exams. If Tian Zhe hadn't sent him to the hospital in time, he probably wouldn't have died. Opportunity to survive until now.

His lungs were damaged in a car accident, and it wasn't serious, but he has been passively treated for these years, and he committed it once a few years ago. After he gradually recovered, he didn't take it seriously.He has a lot of illnesses, how old are you?

In fact, when he had respiratory symptoms a few days ago, he should have paid attention to it, but because there were a lot of things going around, he had no time to think about it, and now he felt uncomfortable. Looking back, he suddenly felt that dangerous.

Life is fucking hard.

He covered his eyes and sighed heavily.

Sigh, sigh sigh.

Sighing does not know when it has become his daily routine.

God, it's not fair.

I'm afraid that such an excellent person will provoke the jealousy of God.

Su Shen took out his mobile phone and dialed Song Hailin's number without hesitation.

"Hey, come and find me at the school gate, I'm sick." Su Shen's voice was a little aggrieved, mixed with slight gasps because of poor breathing.

He couldn't hear what Song Hailin said on the other end of the phone, he just knew that his consciousness was getting more and more confused, and his lungs were getting more and more painful. He was covering his nose to warm the air rushing into the trachea.

What's this called? He didn't have a clear consciousness and laughed at himself, as if he was pretending to be sick after a quarrel.

Don't call it a quarrel, they are like this.He didn't even know why Song Hailin reacted so suddenly.

why?

He felt a little heavy in his head, and he didn't have the strength to think any more.

A second before his vision was about to blur, he saw Song Hailin striding towards him with the phone stuck to his ear, as if he was sprinting towards him during a sports meeting, with the sun on his back, stepping on his feet. with clouds.

Su Shen smiled.But I'm not sure if I laughed or not, it's boring.

It turned out that it wasn't that he didn't hear what Song Hailin said on the phone, but that Song Hailin didn't say anything at all.

That's right, this is Song Hailin, even if he was angry, he wouldn't be willing to turn around and leave, he must have been following him not far or near.

"You're here." Su Shen said.

In fact, Su Shen didn't say anything.

He didn't even make a move to laugh, and just closed his eyes and fell into Song Hailin's arms.

Song Hailin's fingertips were trembling. If, if, he didn't dare to think, if he hadn't followed behind, and Su Shen fell down like this, and fell directly to the ground, he might not be able to forgive himself for the rest of his life.

When Su Shen woke up, the tip of his nose was surrounded by the familiar and disgusting smell that he had been familiar with since he was a child.

Stuffy air mixed with the smell of urine, stinky feet, rice, and disinfectant.

It smells so fucking bad, in the ward.

He moved his fingers, and Song Hailin immediately grabbed his hand and said, "Brother."

Su Shen smiled habitually, and said, "This time, he didn't die again."

Because I just woke up, my voice was still so hoarse that I couldn't even make a sound for the first few words.

After saying this, he clearly felt Song Hailin's hand tighten.He rolled his eyes at Song Hailin, Song Hailin's lips were covered with small dry skin, his complexion was frighteningly bad, he just sat on the edge of the hospital bed and grabbed his hand regardless.

He pulled the corner of his mouth to laugh.

Song Hailin suddenly stood up and rushed towards him, because he just finished the operation, Song Hailin didn't dare to use any strength, so he propped himself up weakly against his chest, rubbed his head lightly, and said in a low voice: "I'm sorry. ,elder brother."

Su Shen reached out and touched his head, and said, "I am the one who is sick, why do you look worse than me?"

"That's because you didn't see what a bear you are!"

Tian Zhe's voice was caught off guard in the ward.

Although he deliberately suppressed his voice, it was still a bit abrupt in the originally quiet room. Immediately, all the family members of the patients around looked at him.

He pressed the fire, put the water glass on the bedside table vigorously, and said, "Drink water!"

Song Hailin quickly straightened up, brought over the water glass, tested the temperature with the back of his hand, worried, took another sip himself, and then handed the straw to Su Shen's mouth.

Tian Zhe snorted on the side.

"Don't slump your face anymore. People think you have a lot of hatred against me. Seeing that I took my life and came back, I am so angry." Su Shen laughed a few times while talking, and suddenly smiled. After coughing a few times, my lungs hurt again.

He leaned against the pillow, it hurt so much.

"Tell you to come early to check if you don't come, you have to go to the hospital like this, I'm fucking... I'm going to stand outside the operating room and prepare to die for you, how many times have you been fucking, can I bear it like this?"

Tian Zhe pressed his voice below his vocal cords, holding his breath and said viciously.

Song Hailin held the water that Su Shen had finished drinking in his hand, and sat on the edge of the bed, unable to see his expression clearly.

Su Shen originally wanted to say a few more words, but the pain was really unbearable, the pain was so dull, and the pain was so painful that she couldn't breathe.

It hurts.

It's not that he can't bear the pain, but the premise is that this pain can have a definite duration, he can know when he can see the light, and how long he needs to hold on, instead of drowning in the deep sea with no exit and no sight hope.

It hurts so much.

This kind of pain, not only will continue to accompany him in the past few days.In the next unknown number of years, there will be at any time, and once it comes, it will not leave easily.

Why.

Su Shen shrank her chin into the quilt, and secretly flattened her mouth.

He closed his eyes and said in a muffled voice, "It's okay, I'm fine."

Song Hailin stared straight at him, and after a long time, gently embraced his shoulder, and whispered into his ear: "Brother, just say it hurts, I'm here."

Su Shen opened his eyes and stared at him blankly.

At this moment, his grievance couldn't bear it.It was as if a wave that had been suffocated for hundreds of millions of years opened its gates, and the snow-capped mountains that had been frozen for a lifetime were broken by magma.

He flattened his lips at Song Hailin and said, "I'm in pain."