gentle and affectionate

Chapter 33.

I never knew that my hands are cooler than water—when I slid my eyelids, the tears that didn't come out of my eyes were hot, so I started to shiver because of such a strong difference.

Begging to die for many years, I originally thought that I would not be afraid, but when that moment really came, my heartbeat also accelerated sharply along with the feeling of coldness from the head to the soles of the feet.

It turned out that I would be afraid too.

……

Such a soft place probably has never been subjected to such a strong impact... It is the first time that the eye sockets have been filled to this extent, and it is just now that the eyeballs are so elastic that they are squeezed into the bony crater with nowhere to go The embarrassment, probably it didn't expect to experience it one day, so it was probably as surprised as the heartbeat.

I don't know if it's because the body feels the danger, everything around me can no longer be perceived, can't hear, see, or feel; but I can hear the sound of heavy breathing and heartbeat, as if all senses are Being mobilized, listening to the voice in my body, it seems that there is only one person left in the whole world.

Probably, it is precisely because of this that the feeling of cold fingers stirring can be so clear, and unexpectedly, you can hear the sticky eyeballs and blood tears entangled, and even hear the sound of nerves breaking like rubber bands, and feel the blood rushing. It spewed and flowed in an instant... felt the warmth from my body, filling the sudden emptiness in an instant.

If it weren't for the sharp pain that was so clear, I would have thought it was still there, like in a terrible habit.

……

I am used to indulging in this happiness, forgetting that I am the source of misfortune.

The first time I watched the country be destroyed, and the second time I watched the king turn into a demon, but I had to wait until I saw another misfortune happen before I could finally realize this fate that was fixed from birth, and then I could make up my mind to end it; In the midst of trying to change beyond one's ability, you finally realize that nothing can be changed, so you can understand.

——It would be fine if I were dead.

Had he died earlier, many things would not have happened.

Why don't I die?

...The unbearable pain of the body made it support to the limit. When the consciousness faded into chaos, some feelings were differently clear.I don't know if this has anything to do with my dying, or if it's a flashback... The water seems to have disappeared suddenly, and the body was probably held upside down, so the blood in the eye sockets finally flowed out. His face was like tears, but much thicker than tears... It didn't take long before his body was lifted up again, and his other eye was squeezed, but because the pain was so numb, he wouldn't feel afraid again.

Or maybe, because I decided to end it, there was nothing to lose; however, when I patiently waited for death to come, the hand suddenly stopped moving.

——Even with your eyes closed, you can still feel the monstrous anger.

I think it wasn't Kamui who tried to save me just now, because he wouldn't have such strong feelings for me; but I don't know who he is, and the piercing pain made me have no energy to think, let alone a sense of direction , I can only feel the hand holding me shaking and shaking, which makes me very irritated; then the next moment, I feel that I am being snatched by another hand, that hand, with a familiar yet strange breath, even His fingertips were full of anger.

The next moment, the body was wrapped in an embrace, which made me more sure that the person was not someone else.

Because that body is too warm, and the chest seems to be too broad... And the most crazy thing is the unspeakable familiarity, the smell of blood mixed with the smell of man's sweat, all senses are overwhelmed by his breath Filled, even the chest vibration brought by speaking loudly will remind you of the past——

I think of the same embrace in the past, holding me tightly to my chest, running and shouting anxiously... At that time, his voice was so loud that his ears were almost broken, but he was extremely careful when holding my arm, just like treating a cat. gentle.

It's not like today, actually hugging so tightly.

Immediately afterwards, no matter what kind of vibrations or changes occurred after that, I just pressed against that chest, listening to his words, listening to his deep and powerful breathing, and listening to his heartbeat beating the same as mine Intense...feeling his wrath to destroy everything as close as possible, and laughing at him for holding me tight like a child, like a fool.

The strength of his hands was so strong that his shoulders hurt, but I knew that this person would never be so careless—the reason why he dared to use so much strength was because the wound was not on his body this time, so he didn't need to deliberately restrain him strength.

I know,

Because this is the person I am willing to protect with my life.

……

However, he is also really stupid.

I am an irrelevant person who is willing to risk my life from the bottom of my heart. I will be laughing and joking all day long. I will keep saying that he will never have peace. Going into the water caused him countless troubles, but he couldn't even tell him the truth... There are so many disasters and disasters, and the average person may wish that I die to be at ease.

What's more, the blood couldn't stop.

……

What was that feeling like? ——You are lying on the bed in a semi-consciousness, surrounded by many people, you know and don’t know, but all eyes are on you, and all languages ​​are talking about you; listen to what they are talking about, it turns out that It is your life and death.

So, you feel that things suddenly become very strange, why these people are working so hard to find a way to keep you alive even though you want to die.

"no……"

I struggled to open my eyes while Mokona was crying, and the active eye muscles pulled the severe pain in the wound, but that was no longer important... I looked at the gray ceiling, and the smell of blood was entangled with the smell of corruption in the air Together, it feels like there is nothing more disgusting than being alive.

Let me go, okay?

Living is the hardest thing in the world, you don't understand, you still drag me by force.

So, just like that, with such a slight anger, I raised my breath to ask them to stop; but the ninja, who has always been expressionless, suddenly showed an expression of extreme anger, and the hand that snatched me back was still as strong .He grabbed my neckline and lifted it up, his fist was about to drop...Mokona was so scared that he cried and stopped him, but I suddenly hoped that he could punch me down.

Hit me, if that will appease your wrath.

Better, kill me.

……

Maybe it's because people like to remember when they are dying, so they let their thoughts drift away from reason, and drift back to that cool night when the cherry blossoms were colorfully falling. He blamed me for risking my life.

His face was hidden in the shadows that day, perhaps as blue as it is now...Thousands of thoughts are chaotic in my mind, I want to know why so much guilt surges up in my chest at this moment, even though it is me who is at stake, I don't know. Knowing why I want to say this is like not knowing what I was afraid of when I was dying.

"Sorry……"

Excuse me, let me go.

Don't let me burden you any more.

I begged him so in my heart, but he was as stubborn as I knew, stubbornly insisting on going his own way, wanting to let me survive, even becoming bait for vampires.I insisted on rejecting him, but this person who arbitrarily decides the lives of others is actually justified... Then, this ninja, who was calm before Mount Tai collapsed, stared at me with his dark red eyes. At that moment, anger, Stubbornness, firmness, remorse, sadness, heartache... so many complicated but sincere emotions rushed in like this, and I had nowhere to escape to my whole body and mind.

I finally understood——

It turns out, Heigang, you were serious from the beginning.

……

In an instant, I understood why I was so stiff last night, but I was still able to sleep all night under the blanket he put on; I understood why he kept asking me about the past, and every time I couldn’t ask, I was so irritable His brows are tightened... Thinking back to the protection of the Night Demon Kingdom, thinking of the drunken night in the Yingdu Kingdom, and the suspicious redness of his ears the next morning-in fact, I should have found out a long time ago.

……

The moment the blood dripped into my mouth, it was as if my whole body was shattered into pieces. I almost gritted my teeth, but my body still arched involuntarily. A pair of strong arms grabbed me, preventing me from tearing myself apart with both hands. Just like every time in the past, he reliably protected me, pulled me back from the death line wishfully, and was so firm that he cherished it as if he was saving his own life.

It turned out that the night he said he hated me, he also lied; it turned out that he really didn't hate me, so he scolded me like a child, and finally took me back gently, just hoping that he would take care of me Don't give up when it's not mine.

……

It's as if the bones and flesh are about to be crushed inch by inch and put back together again, as if even the internal organs are melting, but just because I rest my head on that chest and listen to his heartbeat, I don't feel so flustered... Both hands desperately grasped him, and were also grasped by those hands at the same time, as if afraid that I would break myself, the big hand pressed hard on the back that was probably not broken, it was extremely warm, and I couldn't help but think of him. Tight embrace, thinking of those extremely gentle black jade-like eyes, and——

That affectionate kiss.

Slightly drunk, pure black pupils that are gentle and almost bewitching, just because of this, there are tightly intertwined lips and tongues, which stop breathing and heartbeat, and open the world like an umbrella, with gorgeous fireworks above the umbrella and under the umbrella.

So, it became the first time I passed it, and it was extremely splendid.The blue butterfly he sent was flying in front of my eyes, broke into my world, entrusted his heart, and finally on this day, I have nowhere to escape, and I finally understand ——

It turned out that he had been so attentive since then.

……

When the pain subsided, I finally had a chance to catch my breath. I took a big gulp of air, but even the breathing was helplessly tearing my heart and lungs. A face full of distress, guilt and despair to the point where she couldn't let go——

Heigang, what virtue and ability do I have to deserve your love.