Don't you say I'm a substitute

34.

Lu Haoze has recently fallen into an inescapable nightmare.

Almost every night when he closes his eyes, he can dream that Zheng Zaochun slumped his shoulders and said to him with humiliated and struggling eyes, "Okay, I will sign".Every time he would go over it again, the clear starlight in that person's eyes dimmed little by little, and finally formed a dark abyss.

"No!" Every time he wakes up here, his heart hurts even more, because in the dream, he knows very clearly that the one who wiped out the brilliance in that person's eyes is the one who made his careful love The one who was smashed to pieces in front of him was himself.

Two months have passed, and he has been to City C several times, but each time he left with hope and returned with disappointment. It is too much to find someone who has just arrived here in a city with a population of more than 400 million. Going through hardships, Lu Haoze sometimes even has the illusion that he will lose Zheng Zaochun forever.

"Zaochun, where have you been..." Lu Haoze murmured while holding the painting book.

"Teacher, where are you from?" Zheng Zaochun was stopped by a girl after school that day.

Looking down at the child around his waist, Zheng Zaochun smiled softly, "I came from the other side of the mountain."

"What's over there?"

"Well... there are big cities, wide roads, skyscrapers, and many cute children like Huahua."

"Like the one you drew for us?"

"Correct."

"Then can I go to the other side of the mountain and have a look?" Huahua opened her dark eyes, full of yearning for the world that Zheng Zaochun described.

"Okay, when you grow up, you can go to university after taking the exam."

"Really? But my grandma said that our family has no money, so we can't go to college..." Huahua said dejectedly.

"It's okay, the teachers will figure out a way, don't worry, okay?" Zheng Zaochun kindly touched Huahua's yellow and thin hair due to long-term malnutrition.

"Okay! Thank you Teacher Zheng! I like Teacher Zheng the most!" Huahua ran away shyly after finishing speaking.

Zheng Zaochun watched the child skipping away, he walked around to the back of the house, walked slowly up a small slope along the path, and looked at the rolling mountains that seemed to have no end.Zheng Zaochun sighed heavily.

It has been almost two months since I applied to work as an art teacher in this remote Hope Primary School. It is said that the school, three bungalows, a flagpole and a small piece of sand in front of the bungalow are the entire construction of this school.If you want to go out from here, you have to climb over two mountains on foot first, and then you have to take a three-hour ride to the county seat after arriving in the town. It would take four hours to get to town...

When Zheng Zaochun first arrived, he didn't even have a place to live, so he had to borrow a quilt from the villagers at the foot of the mountain. After school at night, the four desks in the classroom were put together to make a temporary bed.Later, the principal was really sorry when he saw it, and mobilized the villagers to build a wooden house for Zheng Zaochun on the open space behind the school. Only then did Zheng Zaochun really solve the housing problem.

Because of the remoteness, there is a shortage of teachers here. Four teachers, including Zheng Zaochun, are responsible for the teaching of all thirty or so children.Every teacher has to take on several subjects, so Zheng Zaochun, in addition to being in charge of the children's art class, also takes charge of Chinese and mathematics in the lower grades.

Huahua is the youngest child in his class. He is just five years old this year. Because his parents go out to work all the year round, the elderly grandma at home doesn't have enough energy to take care of him all day, so he was sent to school.Every time he sees Huahua who is about the same age as his daughter, Zheng Zaochun can't help thinking of the children who are thousands of miles away. He doesn't know what they look like now, maybe he has forgotten him...

The wind on the top of the mountain got stronger, and Zheng Zaochun retreated after not standing for long.Mr. Zhang, who teaches senior Chinese and mathematics, told him that it will rain tonight, and he has to harvest the vegetables he planted in front of the house.

At the same time, Lu Haoze stood in the study and stared at the pouring rain outside the window.Today he received a call from his eldest sister. After such a long time, the eldest sister of the Lu family also felt that something was wrong. When she asked someone to inquire about it, her younger brother was actually doing everything possible to find that Zheng Zaochun!

"Aren't you stupid, Lu Haoze? Just leave when he leaves! Why don't you hurry up and marry a serious wife to take care of your children?"

"Wait until I get Zheng Zaochun back."

"Why are you looking for him back?! Get married?!"

"He is my child's mother, and I want to be with him."

"Lu Haoze, you are crazy! Because of this unmasculine thing, you can't go to class well, and you can't take care of your children, why? You want to live with such a freak for the rest of your life? Crazy! I will never allow it! You give up as soon as possible! This heart is dead!"

"Sister, did you know that Zheng Zaochun suffered from depression before she became pregnant with twins? In order to give birth to my son, he didn't even care about his own body, and he almost killed himself later on. It's not enough for you to say hello, Do you think it's appropriate to be called a 'freak' by you?"

"I, I don't care if he's suitable or not! He agreed at the beginning! I didn't force him, anyway, you can't be with him! No, I'll start arranging blind dates for you tomorrow. When you get married, you won't get married God thinks that some of these are gone!"

"Sister, I will only say this for the last time. In this life, I will only recognize Zheng Zaochun. I will not marry anyone but him. If you insist on interfering, don't blame me for turning my back on him."

"Silly X!" The eldest sister of the Lu family dropped the phone in anger.

Lu Haoze made a phone call and asked the secretary and the driver to go to the elder sister's house to pick up the children.The house soon became lively again, but the excitement was only the excitement of the children. Aunt Zhou and Xiao Li had gloomy expressions on their faces. They knew that Zheng Zaochun was still missing.

"Father, where's Dad?" Qiuqiu suddenly asked while eating dinner.Sitting at the dining table and looking around, I found that the father who often sat at the far end of the dining table was gone.

"Dad, he's on a business trip and hasn't come back yet." Lu Haoze didn't expect his daughter to ask about Zheng Zaochun as soon as he came home.Looking at his daughter's clear eyes, he felt very bitter in his heart.

"Oh, when will he come back then?"

"Well, I don't know yet. Is Qiuqiu looking for him?"

"Yes, Guoguo from the kindergarten said she wanted my father to draw a picture for her too," Qiuqiu said.

"Oh, let's draw when he comes back."

"it is good."

"Knock knock." After dinner, Aunt Zhou knocked on the door of Lu Haoze's room.

"Come in. Ah, it's Aunt Zhou, sit down quickly." Lu Haoze invited Aunt Zhou in.

"Boss, if you're not busy right now, can you listen to me a few words." Aunt Zhou thought over and over outside the door, and finally found Lu Haoze.

After Aunt Zhou cried in front of him last time, he felt ashamed to explain anything, and Aunt Zhou usually seemed to avoid him on purpose, and this was the first time the two of them sat down to talk seriously since then.

"Well, tell me. I saw that you hesitated to speak several times during dinner. I think you must have something on your mind. Tell me."

"During this time, I see that you have never given up looking for Xiao Zheng, so I want to ask, what do you really do to him..."

"I like him, not someone's substitute, I like him." Lu Haoze said slightly bitterly.After saying it, Lu Haoze discovered that it was actually not difficult to say the word "like", but why did he always forget to say it when Zheng Zaochun was around?

"Both of you are men, have you thought about your future life?"

"No matter how many years it takes, I will find him and bring him back. We can go abroad to get married, and we will have a happy family." Lu Haoze choked up as he spoke.

"I don't know whether I should believe you this time..." Aunt Zhou was a little embarrassed by the confession, "I think it's good for him to leave, but at the same time I'm very worried. I've heard Xiao Li say in the past two days I heard that Xiao Zheng did not take any money from his family when he left, and he may not have much money on him, and I don’t know what kind of life he is living now, whether he will suffer a lot..."

"Aunt Zhou! Do you know something?!" Lu Haoze sensitively caught the strangeness in Aunt Zhou's words.

"I, I can't tell, I just have a feeling... I don't know if he went somewhere..." Aunt Zhou rubbed her hands back and forth, her tone hesitant.

"It's okay! Say it! Say it!" Hearing this, Lu Haoze almost knelt down for Aunt Zhou.yes!When I first found out that Zheng Zaochun was leaving, why didn't I ask Aunt Zhou and the others, they were obviously talking at home from time to time.

"I don't remember when. It was probably last year when Xiao Zheng was still in college. He came to me one day and asked me what kind of jobs can be found in the society after graduating from American University. I said that now you are young. I don’t know about people, and my old lady who is engaged in art is even more incomprehensible. I just saw on TV that some students who graduated from their school went to mountainous primary schools to work as art teachers. Well, I just told him like this, and he didn’t ask me again later, so I didn’t take it seriously. No, I heard that you’ve been running to City C recently, so I just remembered that the support teacher said on TV The event is jointly organized by our city and City C..."

"!" Like a beam of bright light suddenly shining in a dark room, Lu Haoze blinked his eyes because of the huge hope in front of him.Although it is true that he has been to City C many times, what if Zheng Zaochun is not in the city but in the nearby countryside?Thinking of that haunted face, Lu Haoze wished he could fly to City C right now.

"Thank you! I, I..." Lu Haoze held Aunt Zhou's hand tightly, and I didn't know what to say for a long time.

"Boss, don't be too happy. This is just my guess. What if Xiao Zheng didn't go there at all..."

"It's okay, I'm already very grateful that you can tell me this!"

Lu Haoze couldn't wait to grab the phone and call an acquaintance in Meida.

Three days later, the good news came. A person in charge of the Hope Project Office in City C wrote back, saying that about two months ago, a young man came to his door and said that he wanted to support education. The staff in the office were very happy to meet such a person. He was introduced to a prefecture-level city under the jurisdiction of City C. Although he was not asked for his name, based on the description of his appearance, he was probably the one Lu Haoze was looking for.

Lu Haoze couldn't hide the ecstasy in his heart, and immediately decided to set off for City C again, accompanied by Jin Jiajun and Tian Cong.

The night before his departure, Lu Haoze suddenly received a strange call.

"I heard you found someone?" He came up without any greetings, straight to the point.

"Now we can only determine the general direction, and we can only find out the specifics by going to the local village committee." Hearing the voice of Jin Jiajun, Lu Haoze paused and said.

"If you have time, let's find a place to sit."

"Now?" Lu Haoze glanced at the wall clock on the wall, "It's already this time, I have to get up early tomorrow to catch the plane, let's talk about it when I come back."

"It's only twelve o'clock, it's not too late, you're not afraid that even if you find him, he won't come back with you?"

"How can..."

"Why is it impossible?"

Jin Jiajun's preemption made Lu Haoze's mind a little clearer. Thinking of the agreement that there would be no retreat, Zheng Zaochun might really have the resolution to never see him again in this life.

"Okay, where to sit?"

"Grey Tower Bar, my shop, waiting for you at the bar."

"it is good."

Lu Haoze came faster than Jin Jiajun imagined, when he turned around to make drinks for the guests, there was a man looking around at the counter.

"Lu Haoze?"

"it's me."

"It's pretty fast."

"My house is not far from here."

"Oh, I see. What would you like to drink?"

"Whatever. Say something if you have anything to say."

"Don't panic, it's so noisy here, let's go upstairs to the box." Jin Jiajun waved to a waiter not far away, "Dada, take a fruit plate and two cuties from my collection. The innermost box on the second floor, thank you!" After speaking, he patted Lu Haoze on the shoulder and walked ahead to lead the way.

"Well, it's really much quieter here." Lu Haoze rubbed his temples that were sore from the noise of the music just now.Dada, who was greeted by Jin Jiajun just now, came in with wine and a fruit plate, and left silently after setting it up.

"Look at what you said, I use the best and most sound-proof materials for this wall!" Jin Jiajun reached out and knocked on the wall.

After hearing this, Lu Haoze was noncommittal, picked up the wine on the table and drank it.

"Before talking about me, can you explain why you can understand the matter between me and Zheng Zaochun so clearly?"

"There's nothing to explain. I hope to know everything related to my children." Jin Jiajun raised his wine glass and shook the amber liquid inside.

"In that case, why do you..."

"Why did you neglect him a while ago? Hahaha, where can I find a reason to educate him if he doesn't want to die?"

Lu Haoze looked at Jin Jiajun who suddenly laughed like a fool.

"Okay, okay, let's not talk about us, let's talk about you. If you find that Zheng this time, what are you going to do?"

"His name is Zheng Zaochun." Lu Haoze emphasized, "I will bring him back."

"How to bring it? Plop down on your knees, with tears in your eyes, 'Please come home with me', this kind?"

"If necessary, I will do it." Lu Haoze's face blushed slightly when he was told that he was thinking in the center.

"Huh? Are you really going to do this? Hey, I didn't say, can you not be so straight? What's the matter? If people don't agree with you, you are still going to kneel down? Forget it, tell me about the relationship between you." Come on, let me see if I can give you some advice."

Lu Haoze leaned his head on the back of the sofa, staring fixedly at the spotlight above his head, maybe it was because of the effect of alcohol, maybe he didn't have much confidence in this trip, maybe it was because his recent state really needed such a person to listen , Lu Haoze hesitated for a moment, and slowly talked about his past with Zheng Zaochun.

"So, after he returned the agreement to you, he left without a word?"

"To be precise, after he decided to leave, he planned to send me the agreement." Lu Haoze had to admit that Jin Jiajun was really a good person to confide in. He felt like he was listening carefully.

"Well, it means the same thing anyway. I think even if you find him, he won't come back with you."

"why?"

"It's not appropriate to say something. I guess he doesn't have any feelings for you. I blame you for doing things too badly in the early stage. Now it is very difficult to change his view of you in his mind."

"In his mind, your view of him can be a child-bearing machine, or a substitute for first love. In short, you can't be a single-minded lover. Even if you say you love him now, he probably won't believe it. "

"why?"

Looking at the distraught man in front of him, Jin Jiajun couldn't help but rolled his eyes, "Why do you keep asking why? You did it yourself, why do you say?"

Lu Haoze was left speechless, he actually wanted to ask "what should I do".

"You don't need to be too hasty about this matter. After all, he has already run away once. Maybe he will see you chasing him. If he can't say a word, he will scare him. He runs faster. It won't be so easy for you to find him next time." Yes. In short, let’s talk in person first.”

"I have another question, why did you help me?"

"Don't you understand? I said how bad your brain must be? I didn't realize that I was thanking you. I didn't have Congcong trying to force the tyrant of your family to the bow, but I could abduct him Going to bed? Of course, if you say this, you are a little sorry for your family. After seeing Zheng Zaochun, I will take Cong Cong to apologize to him face to face."

"Being targeted by someone like you, I don't know if it's luck or misfortune..." Lu Haoze felt chills in his heart.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm happy and don't want to get up every day!" Jin Jiajun picked off his nails facing the light, smiling harmlessly.

"..."

The next day, at the airport, Lu Haoze watched Jin Jiajun walking towards him with the sleepy Tian Cong in amazement, and suddenly felt a headache.

"Hello! Cong Cong suddenly said that he wanted to go to City C, what a coincidence that everyone took the same plane!" Jin Jiajun threw Tian Cong on the chair next to him, and greeted Lu Haoze with a smile on his face.

For the two couples who insisted on following, Lu Haoze was completely speechless.

The author has something to say:

It's Friday!good morning everyone!

Recently, the teaching assistant professor is on a business trip, and the research room has been released. It's amazing!

Yesterday I left school early and went to the shopping mall~ I bought a honey-flavored hand cream and body lotion, and now I feel like I’m covered in the smell of food while typing (cover my face)

Thank you for your unwavering support as always, I was moved to tears!