Don't you say I'm a substitute

38.

Zheng Zaochun woke up from his sleep, unable to realize where he was for a long time.Blue curtains, white walls, and a TV hanging from the ceiling, Zheng Zaochun couldn't remember how he got here.

In my impression, I seem to have passed out. Before I passed out, I...

!

Lu Haoze!Lu Haoze found himself!Zheng Zaochun sat up abruptly from the bed, but accidentally got up in a hurry. For a moment, stars appeared in front of his eyes. When he was about to raise his hand to support his head, he found that his left hand was being held back. When he looked down, Lu Haoze was lying on his back. Beside him, Zhengxiang was sleeping with his eyes closed.

Pulling out his hand slowly, Zheng Zaochun quietly got off the bed from the other side.It was only after seeing the name of a certain county hospital printed on the sheet that Zheng Zaochun realized that he had arrived at the county seat for some reason.After asking someone at the nurse station, Zheng Zaochun learned that he was sent to the hospital by Lu Haoze. In the medical record, the doctor wrote that the chief complaint was that he fainted suddenly, and the examination advice he gave was to strengthen nutrition.

"Does this mean that I'm fine?" Zheng Zaochun frowned and asked, pointing to the doctor's diagnosis on the case.

"Well, looking at it this way, there is really no big problem, but you still have to ask the doctor for details." The little nurse replied very enthusiastically

"Is the doctor here now?"

"The doctor who saw you last night is not here. He is off the night shift and won't come until tomorrow morning. But you can take the case to the doctor on duty now, and he will show you. The duty room is over there. "The little nurse pointed to the doctor's duty room.

"Well, thank you." Zheng Zaochun nodded and went to the doctor.

After getting the same positive answer from the doctor, Zheng Zaochun felt relieved.

"Doctor, can you prescribe me some, er, medicine for depression? I think this sudden fainting may be related to the relapse of my depression." Zheng Zaochun hesitated outside the duty room for a long time and finally asked.

"Depression? You can't take medicine casually. If you doubt it, why don't you go to the psychology department on the fifth floor now?"

"No, no, no, no, I understand my illness. It is said to be depression, but it is not very serious. The medicines I used to take are these kinds..." Zheng Zaochun hurriedly wrote down the names of several medicines on the paper Pass the name to the doctor.

"I can prescribe this medicine, but I can only prescribe one box of each."

"It's okay, it's okay, one box is enough, enough." Zheng Zaochun said, "Doctor, can I be discharged from the hospital after I finish the prescription? I am a teacher of Hope Primary School in Zhangwan Township, and it takes several times to come to the county to see a doctor. God, it's quite a delay."

The doctor learned the reason, and seeing that Zheng Zaochun was really fine except that he was malnourished and would not be able to make up for it for a while, he agreed to discharge him from the hospital.

However, the doctor was still talking to Zheng Zaochun about the precautions after being discharged from the hospital, when a nurse rushed over and interrupted their conversation.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Liu, something is wrong in the ward. Is this a patient in bed 3?" the nurse asked panting.

Before Zheng Zaochun could speak, the doctor at the side turned to the first page of the medical record and took a look, "Yes, what's wrong?"

"Oh, the patient in bed 4 woke up just now, and saw that there was no one in bed 3, and they are making a fuss in the ward!"

"Do you know Bed 4?" The doctor turned to look at Zheng Zaochun.

"I..." Zheng Zaochun really didn't want to have anything to do with Lu Haoze, and this was the reason why he was in a hurry to leave the hospital.

"Anyway, can I ask you to go over and have a look first, the head nurse probably can't persuade him alone." The little nurse stood at the door and saw the doctor and Zheng Zaochun talking calmly, feeling very anxious.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Zheng Zaochun silently followed behind the doctors and nurses, wanting to take the opportunity to leave directly, but he was discovered just as he turned around, so he had no choice but to follow to the ward.

"Zaochun! Zaochun! Where are you?! Where are you?!" The roar of Lu Haoze in the ward could be heard from a long distance in the corridor, and Zheng Zaochun suddenly stopped when he heard that he was being called on in such an aggressive manner.

"Doctor, you go in first, I, I won't go in." Zheng Zaochun dawdled at the door.

The doctor and nurse gave him a strange look.As soon as the door of the ward opened, shouts that were three times louder than before exploded in the ears of the three.

"Doctor, doctor, where is the patient in this bed?! Did you see him?! He, he is my brother! He was still sleeping here last night, and he disappeared when I woke up! Did you See him?! Zaochun! Zheng Zaochun!" Lu Haoze saw a doctor coming in after the door of the ward opened, and hurriedly tugged at his clothes and asked.

"Let go first!" The doctor was also a little annoyed by such a noisy patient, he pulled away Lu Haoze's hand and said, "The patient in bed 3 was discharged early this morning, and is no longer here."

"What?! Gone?! You said he's gone?! How did he go?! He hasn't rested yet! No, I have to chase him back!" Lu Haoze was about to lift the quilt and get out of bed.

"Calm down, I don't think he's sick, but you are very sick! This foot is fractured! Do you know the fracture?! You can't just get out of bed!" The doctor stopped Lu Haoze from getting out of bed.

"Get out of the way, get out of the way, I'm going to find him! He has depression! I'm afraid he'll do something stupid if he can't think about it! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! It's too late!" The human roar made Lu Haoze's eyes turn red, and he struggled desperately to get out.

"Be careful! The needle will break!" The nurse watched in horror as Lu Haoze pushed the doctor who stopped him with his dripping hand.

"Xiao Wang! Go get the tranquilizer!" The doctor couldn't bear it anymore and ordered.The little nurse who got the order ran away quickly.

"You dare! You dare to calm me down! I'll kill you! Get out of the way! Don't stop me!" Hearing the tranquilizer, Lu Haoze was completely irritated. He struggled vigorously, and in the confusion, he swung his fist at the doctor. face.

"Uh!" The doctor was punched unexpectedly, stepped back a few steps and fell on the hospital bed.

"Doctor Liu!" The nurse came back just in time to see the scene where the patient hit the doctor, "Come here! You beat me! You beat me!"

"Get out of here! Get out!" Lu Haoze rudely tore off the infusion stickers on his hands, and stood on the ground with his support on the bed.

"Call the security guard, give him some stability!" The doctor said while holding the bed while gritting his teeth.

"Who would dare?!" Lu Haoze glared angrily, staring fixedly at the nurse holding the needle in his hand.

"Have you had enough trouble?"

A clear but not too loud voice suddenly came from the door of the ward. Although the voice was not loud, it successfully made Lu Haoze, who was yelling and threatening the nurse just now, shut up instantly.

"Zaochun!" The anger on Lu Haoze's face instantly dissipated when he heard Zheng Zaochun's voice, he turned around and looked at Zheng Zaochun at the door with joy.

"What do you want to do?" Zheng Zaochun, who was standing at the door, watched Lu Haoze bite everyone at sight like a mad dog, and finally injured the doctor. He had no choice but to show up.

"That's great, so you didn't leave! They said you were discharged from the hospital, but I was terrified!" Lu Haoze laughed stupidly. Compared with the angry look just now, this smiling face is so permeable no matter how you look at it.

"If I left, would you demolish this hospital today?" Zheng Zaochun asked coolly.

"I..." Lu Haoze looked at the doctor who was still covering his face with his hands, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Go back to bed and lie down." Seeing that Lu Haoze wanted to move towards him again, Zheng Zaochun immediately stopped him.

"Okay, okay, it's all up to you," Lu Haoze grabbed the bedside railing and moved back to the bed.

"Zaochun, why have you been standing at the door, come in, come in..." Lu Haoze waved at Zheng Zaochun, Zheng Zaochun had been standing at the door of the ward since just now, and had no intention of coming in, he was afraid that if he was disobedient , he might turn around and leave immediately.

"Sorry, I scared you yesterday. I didn't mean it. I, I didn't think you would suddenly get sick. I wanted to wait for you to wake up today and take you to the psychology department, but I was too tired and overslept , I woke up and they said you were gone, I, I was afraid that something would happen to you, so, so..." Lu Haoze lay on the bed, staring straight at Zheng Zaochun, explaining messily.

"I don't go to the psychology department, so you don't need to worry about my affairs." Zheng Zaochun looked down at the upper of the shoe.From Lu Haoze's words, Zheng Zaochun understood that he already knew that he had suffered from depression. Don't the world hate mental illness?Why did Lu Haoze still say that he would take him to see a doctor?What does he want to do? !

"Zaochun, I'm sorry, I, I said the wrong thing, don't be angry, don't be angry, I'll listen to you, hiss..." The nurse at the side slipped the sedative into Lu Haoze's arm.

"How dare you..." Lu Haoze yelled until the nurse almost couldn't hold the needle, and then he lost consciousness.

"Well done! Treating this kind of manic patient is to be so decisive and resolute. Let Corey give you a bonus this month!" Dr. Liu praised the nurse's wit, but neither of them noticed that Zheng Zaochun walked away silently. He came in and stood beside Lu Haoze's bed.

"Um, are you still leaving?" Dr. Liu asked.

Zheng Zaochun shook his head slowly, "I won't leave now, I'm afraid he will trouble you and the hospital after he wakes up. I'm sorry, I caused you to be injured." He sincerely apologized like a doctor.

"It was him who hit him, you don't need to apologize for him." The doctor left without comment, and took the nurse away after speaking.

The effect of the tranquilizer lasted for six hours, after six hours Lu Haoze woke up leisurely, the first thing he did when he opened his eyes was still to find Zheng Zaochun.

"Shh, don't make noise, don't make noise!" Lu Haoze woke up as soon as he went out to smoke a cigarette, and Jin Jiajun who heard the noise hurriedly pinched his cigarette and ran back.

"Huh? Why is it you? Where is Early Spring?" Lu Haoze asked in a daze when he saw Jin Jiajun who pushed the door in.

"When I heard that you were in the county seat, Congcong and I rushed over. We just arrived. Congcong and Zheng Zaochun went out to buy toothbrushes and toothpaste. Don't worry, you haven't left, don't go crazy!" Jin Jiajun moved a chair Sitting in front of the hospital bed.

"Oh." Lu Haoze lay back on the bed with peace of mind.

"Hey, tell me, what's going on here? Didn't you mean to bring him to see a doctor? Why did you also live there?" Jin Jiajun poked the plaster cast on Lu Haoze's foot and jokingly said.

"Hey, don't mention it, I slipped and fell when I came out of the mountain, and the two of them almost rolled down the mountain." Lu Haoze looked up at the ceiling, pretending that he didn't want to talk more.

"Okay, I won't ask anymore, as long as you are safe and well." Jin Jiajun raised his hands to express that he would not ask again.

"Ah."

If the atmosphere in the ward is not bad, the air in the rest area of ​​the hospital lobby is a bit dignified at this moment.

Zheng Zaochun and Tian Cong sat facing each other, with the same serious expressions on their faces.

Tian Cong had lost contact with him since the club trip.Looking at his former senior friend across the street now, Zheng Zaochun felt as if he had passed away.

Tian Cong almost didn't recognize Zheng Zaochun when he saw him in the hospital.Zheng Zaochun was much thinner than before, his complexion was not good, his face was pale, and the blood vessels under his neck were clearly visible.

"Ahem, Zheng Zheng, I came to you this time because I wanted to apologize to you face to face..." After a stalemate for a while, Tian Cong took the initiative to break the silence.

Zheng Zaochun looked straight into his eyes and didn't speak.

"The person who came with me this time is my uncle. Hey...I'll tell you directly, he is actually my boyfriend. Uncle, he always ignored me before. I don't know if he likes me too. Later, I met you at school, and I wanted to get close to you to see if he would be jealous. I'm sorry, I used you... And that time, I knew your expectations for the club trip, Also, I did bad things to you... You have always regarded me as a good friend, but I failed you... I apologize to you, I hope you can forgive me..."

"Tian Cong." Zheng Zaochun interrupted Tian Cong's apology, and directly called out his full name, "As a friend, have I ever done anything excessive to you?"

"No, you are fine, you are a very good friend." Tian Cong shook his head without thinking.

"Then why do you take me as, as a test between you and your uncle? Have you asked my opinion?"

"I regard you as my best friend, but my best friend just regards me as a trial stone. If it were you, what would you think? Would you forgive such a person?"

Tian Cong was speechless.

"Tian Cong, people's hearts are fleshy, and I have hearts too. You ruined my friendship like this, what else do you want me to say?"

"I didn't do anything wrong, why did you both treat me like this?"

As Zheng Zaochun spoke, tears rolled down his face.Since meeting Lu Haoze yesterday, the old scars on Zheng Zaochun's heart have been torn open again and again with flesh and blood.It's just that he used to always want to escape and was always on the run, because he felt that as long as he escaped, he wouldn't have to stay and face these embarrassments. In his opinion, as long as he left, maybe the world would be peaceful.But since he's already gone, why don't they let him go?After seeing him, everyone said sorry to him repeatedly, but how much sincerity was there in the sorry?Do they really want his understanding, or is it just because they have a hurdle in their hearts that they can't get over?Or should he choose to forgive just now?Will they be able to walk away contented?

Tian Cong couldn't help crying when he saw Zheng Zaochun crying.He knew that no matter what he said at this moment, it was too pale, and all the words that came out of his mouth were like unreasonable excuses.

"Zheng Zheng, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Tian Cong repeated "I'm sorry" mechanically.

"Let's go, I don't want to see you again." After saying that, Zheng Zaochun wiped away the tears on his face, stood up and walked to the ward.

"Zheng Zheng! I'm sorry!" Zheng Zaochun walked a long way and heard Tian Cong saying sorry loudly behind him.

As soon as Zheng Zaochun returned to the ward, the eyes of the two people inside were all focused on him.

"Zaochun, you're back!" Lu Haoze looked at Zheng Zaochun, and it's no exaggeration to describe his mood as exuberant.

"Ah."

"Where's Tian Cong?" Jin Jiajun looked behind Zheng Zaochun at the beginning of the film, didn't Tian Cong come back?

"I don't know, let's go downstairs." Zheng Zaochun put down the things in his hands and went into the bathroom.

Jin Jiajun looked at Lu Haoze, both of them felt that the atmosphere was not right.Jin Jiajun got up to look for Tian Cong, while Lu Haoze lay quietly on the bed and waited for Zheng Zaochun to come out.

Zheng Zaochun washed his face with cold water and looked at himself in the mirror. At this moment, he realized that his life had been an unprecedented failure. He used to be just a waiter in a small restaurant. Although he was tired and exhausted, he was better than simple and calm.But now?In the eyes of others, the love that you want to pursue is just a substitute, and the friendship that treats each other wholeheartedly is just a play on the spot.He didn't understand why every time he worked hard, he would get such a ridiculous result. What did he do wrong?If God gave him another choice, he thought he would definitely choose not to know Lu Haoze and Tian Cong.

The author has something to say:

Sneaky post... There should be one or two updates this week, I think...

I have been busy for the past half month, so I haven't had time to deliberate and revise it. Maybe next week I will revise and modify the content after chapter [-]. It is estimated that it is a small change, so it is okay if you don't read it...

The ones who chased here are basically pure true love, thank you for your support and encouragement, every time I think about it, I am very moved! ! !