Just A Bit Ruthless

"You look different," James said, looking at him from across the table.

Luke shrugged and continued to eat his salad with his head down, not to be embarrassed by the pink flower pattern shirt and white pencil pants he was wearing.Anyone who thinks he's dressed like this is their problem, Luke doesn't care.He's tired of being embarrassed by who he is.The suit felt good to him, and that was all.

"Dude..." James said cautiously. "Is that man forcing you to dress like this or something?"

Luke blinked. "What?"

Realizing that James really meant it, Luke giggled.When he told James about his relationship with Roman, he knew that the other party was actually not optimistic, but Luke didn't expect it to be so deep.It's been almost a month, and this is the first time the two of them have met to go out together.

"Hey, no kidding," James said. "I'm worried about you, bastard. First you slept with the man who kidnapped and imprisoned you for months, and now you change yourself to suit him."

"I didn't change myself for him," Luke said with a wry grin. "This is who I am. This is who I am. The only thing he's changed me... is that he's made me realize that there's nothing wrong with who I am. I don't have to hide who I am anymore."

James frowned his pale eyebrows, his blue-green eyes full of doubt. "But why didn't you say anything before? I thought I'd say something to you?"

Luke met his gaze. "I distinctly remember you telling me how much you hated Fred for being flirtatious and effeminate."

James blushed. "I hate Fred because he's not Ryan, not because... I keep comparing him to Ryan, so everything about him annoys me—"

"If you like the macho type, you can like it," Luke said with a chuckle. "If you run on you with this matter, then I'm too hypocritical."

The two showed playful expressions tacitly, and then James said seriously: "I really don't care about that, you know, right? If I said something that made you think I was that kind of person, I apologize." He smiled cheaply. "I still love you in dresses, Lucy."

Luke rolled his eyes and kicked him under the table. "I don't like to dress up as a woman. I just like pretty things, and I've made up my mind not to care that some narrow-minded people think it's weird or effeminate. Besides, gender stereotypes are stupid stuff. Yes. What to wear, as long as I am happy."

"You look very happy."

Luke smiled slightly, reflecting on all that had happened over the past few months. "Because I'm really happy."

James eyed him concerned. "You're serious about that man, aren't you?"

Luke met his friend's gaze. "I've never taken it this seriously."

"Sounds a little crazy," James sighs. "You also realize it, right? He was the man who kidnapped you, imprisoned you, and forcibly attacked you."

Luke frowned. "I've already told you: he didn't force anything on me that I didn't want to do. Yes, Roman was no saint, but he was no rapist either. So please don't keep bringing it up , will it work?"

James shut his mouth tightly. "I just don't think it's going to last. He's going to break your heart."

Luke looked down at his hands. "Isn't everyone in love risking a broken heart? If we all live in fear of heartbreak, then we'll never have a chance to be happy."

"Yeah, but that man was—"

"That man," Luke interrupted, sounding a little impatient, "has brought me more joy than I've ever had. Please respect that, please."

"Sorry," James said, scowling uncomfortably. "You do look super happy, I just don't want to see you sad."

"I don't want to be sad myself," Luke said calmly. "Look, I know why you're thinking this, but I don't see any reason for you to worry about this. Roman—he..." Luke broke down, remembering falling asleep in Roman's arms and thinking about waking up. Sometimes the two are entangled together, and it is almost impossible to tell which is you and which is me.Luke smiled softly. "He cares about me. I know that."

James' expression was still full of doubts. "Then he told you himself? Said he loves you?"

Luke gave a short laugh. "I haven't even said that word myself. That's—that's not important—I mean, it's definitely important, but—" he broke off himself, not knowing what words to use To express my inner thoughts, I can't help being a little discouraged. "He's not the kind of person who talks about his inner feelings all day long, and I don't think it's that important whether you say it or not. I think what you feel from a person is more important than what you say in rhetoric. And I It feels..." He felt the warmth in his chest spreading to his face. "When I'm with him, I feel like I'm being pampered, as if I'm some priceless treasure. For me, it's better than any sweet talk."

"Well," James said, the expression on his face finally softening.He smiled slightly and continued: "Okay then. As long as he makes you so happy, that's the most important thing. But aren't you afraid? Not at all?"

Luke smiled at him too. "I'm scared to death, okay. But not for the reason you think. I'm scared to scare him away. You know what I've always dreamed of."

A line creased James' forehead. "Find a good man to build a family together, do you still think so?"

"I don't want nice guys anymore," Luke said with a sneer. "Since I met Roman, I've turned my back on all other men. I just want him." Thinking about it all the time. "But the problem is, I haven't given up on the other parts of this dream. I still want children and my own family. But after being with him, it's not just stupid ——It's dangerous. He is him after all. Whenever he goes out, as long as there is no news of him, my whole body is anxious. After I have a child, this anxiety will only increase. The premise is that Roman If you agree to have a child."

"Wait," James said, eyes widening. "Child? Is your mind jumping a little too much? Ryan and I haven't mentioned the child yet, and he and I have been inseparable since we were young!"

"Of course I'm not saying I want it now," Luke said with a big laugh. "Honestly, I don't think I'm ready for anyone else to join our relationship. I want him to be mine." Luke blushed.He never thought that his desire for monopoly could be so strong, it's a bit embarrassing to say it. "But you know me, Jim. At some point in the future, I'd love to have some of his kids." Just thinking about those dark-haired and blue-eyed little dolls makes him look silly Smile.Luke sighed: "I shouldn't think like this. Thinking like this is just preparing myself for a disappointment."

James showed concern. "I think you should ask him. It's best to test the waters now to see if he has that possibility. That way, even if he says no, at least you can be sure that possibility doesn't exist." It's pretty bad, yes, but it's always the best policy to tell the truth." James smiled slightly. "Not telling him what you want in your heart, or not telling him what you really want, will not work for many years, trust me."

"Don't you think that would be pushing him? I don't want to be too aggressive."

James scoffed. "As you are, that's the exact opposite of 'aggressive', okay?"

Luke almost laughed too.James has never seen him when he was with Roman, and he has never seen Luke's insatiable and demanding look when he was with Roman.Luckily, Roman seems to like him that way, but there must be a limit, right?When you start a relationship, you mention children, and you might touch them.

"I'll think about it," Luke frowned.James' suggestion made sense, but he couldn't imagine Roman giving an affirmative answer.

"Hey, chin up," James said, bumping their knees. "I don't want to be hunted down by your Russian boss just because I offended his little boyfriend."

Luke chuckled. "Don't talk about what's there and what's not," he said, blushing a little.He knew that if he saw that he was unhappy, Roman would really take it to heart. Thinking about it this way, he felt warm from head to toe.

Maybe Roman would say no, but maybe that's okay too.

That's enough for him.More than enough.