arrogant and coquettish

Su Qinghe didn't expect Xie Ran to drive the car directly to the hospital, he didn't really want to see that person right now.But it was already here, and he didn't bother to escape.

Mr. Zhou seemed to have been waiting for him for a long time, and when he saw him, he immediately came up to meet him, "Qinghe, it's okay."

Su Qinghe looked up at him, his eyes were full of complexity, but he just smiled and said, "It's okay."

Zhou Yi only felt that Su Qinghe went into the police station, and now he looked like a different person when he came out, but he didn't look different, so Mr. Zhou just thought it was because he was thinking too much.

Jin An has almost recovered. He is sitting on the hospital bed reading a book at the moment. He raised his head when he heard the movement at the door, and smiled slightly when he saw someone coming, "You are here."

His smile was light and gentle, and there were two faint dimples on his cheeks.The scene in front of him seems to be no different from the past. During the period when he just woke up, every time Su Qinghe walked over, he would see this person smiling at him very gently, and he said, "You come here gone."

Just what has suddenly become different?Looking at his gentle eyebrows, Su Qinghe felt that his breathing suddenly became a little short, and everything around him seemed to become unreal, even the person in front of him seemed vaguely strange.

He has waited for so many years, but what he waited for was a completely different person from the memory?Su Qinghe always felt that he should be dreaming.

"I have something to tell you." He collected his expression and took a slight breath, trying to make his tone sound as normal as possible.

Jin An froze for a moment, then nodded, "Okay."

Xie Ran and Mr. Zhou walked out with extra sense of humor, and closed the door very considerately.

"Have you seen Song Shi?" When the door was slowly closed, Jin An looked at Su Qinghe's unconsciously wrinkled face, and sighed softly.

Su Qinghe hadn't figured out how to start, but Jin An did not expect to speak first.The movement of his hands paused slightly, and then he lowered his eyes so that he could not see his expression, "There is still news."

"Are you blaming me?" Jin An closed the book in his hand, looked at his bowed head, and asked softly.

Su Qinghe's brows frowned even more.Does he blame him?He didn't know what to say. Hearing the warm and clear voice of the person in front of him, he realized that he couldn't say a word.

After a long silence, Su Qinghe shook his head, looked into the man's deep eyes, "No."

"Do you think I've changed?" Jin An asked lightly, taking in the tangled look that flashed across his face.

Su Qinghe was speechless for a while.This man always seemed to be able to see through his mind very easily, he seemed to be a transparent person in front of him, and any changes in his mental activities could not escape the eyes of that man.This is an experience that Su Qinghe has never had before, so he is a little uncomfortable at the moment.

He didn't speak, but Jin An didn't remain silent like before. He cast his eyes on the camphor tree outside the window, "Do you know how many leaves it lost today?"

Su Qinghe looked at him in a daze, until the huge camphor tree came into his eyes, he looked back at him incomprehensibly, and unconsciously stuck out his tongue and gently licked his dry lips .

"The past few days have been very boring." Jin An's eyes were still fixed on the camphor tree outside the window, "Every day when I wait for you to come, I will count the leaves here, how many leaves it drops every day. And then One day I suddenly realized that I thought it would grow more leaves, but the leaves are falling every day, how can new ones grow?"

"Because it's winter." Su Qinghe didn't know what was wrong with him, so he subconsciously blurted out this sentence.

Jin An laughed when he heard what he said, "Yes, winter is here."

Su Qinghe looked at him quietly, as if he could see the deep nostalgia on his face.

"When I was left to do my homework before, you would wait for me outside. Whenever I came out, you would tell me how many leaves the tree lost today. Later, when winter came, the leaves fell off. When I came out, I saw you standing under the tree in a daze." Jin An moved his eyes away from the tree, and quietly fell on Su Qinghe's face.

Su Qinghe remembered that there was a ginkgo tree planted in the yard at that time, and he liked to look at the leaves of the ginkgo tree, so when Jin An told other children to do their homework, he would count the leaves in the yard, and the time passed before he knew it .But in winter, all the leaves of the ginkgo tree fell off, and he could only stare at the bare trunk in a daze every time, and then felt that the time had passed so long that he couldn't believe that he had waited so long. Multiple such a long time.

At that time, he was not Jin An, he was just a good-looking little boy who didn't want to talk in the orphanage, he was just his dumb.

"Actually, there are still some trees in this world that don't lose their leaves." Jin An's eyes seemed to have some deep emotion overflowing, "I really wanted to tell you at that time, but I couldn't."

"Why?" Su Qinghe asked in confusion.It was only after a long time that he realized that his dumb was not unable to speak, but unwilling to speak, and he still knew these things from others.Thinking of these, he felt particularly uncomfortable in his heart.

"I am an illegitimate child, and my mother is a mistress. I only found out about this later." Jin An still had a faint smile on his mouth, but there was a faint light flickering in his eyes. Spending time in fear, my mother told me not to talk to others, because if I said something wrong or said too much, it might lead to death. But I still didn't listen to him, and then my mother was in Dead in front of me, she kept telling me not to say my name to people, not to talk to people."

An unknown emotion flashed in Su Qinghe's eyes.He once wanted to ask him, why did he pretend to be dumb at that time, why didn't he tell him his name, why did he have to wait for so long?

They clearly agreed that they would always be together.

"Later when I arrived at Jin's house, I realized why I must pretend to be dumb and hide my identity. Because I am not strong enough to protect the one I love. But Qinghe, I want to protect you well." The seriousness in his eyes made him startled.

"If anyone bullies you in the future, tell me, and I will avenge you!" The immature child's voice rang in his ears through distant time and space, like a sudden thunderstorm, which caught him off guard.

He once said to protect him well, but not only failed to do so, but also reversed the identities of the two.

"Qinghe, I know you don't like it, so I don't want you to know." Jin An's brows were stained with distress.He thought he could hide the truth, but he forgot that that person was Su Qinghe, he was Su Qinghe, how could he keep him in the dark?

Thinking of this, he still felt a little regretful, obviously thinking of such an ending, he might as well have confessed to him from the beginning.

Su Qinghe didn't know his mental activities at the moment, those childhood images flashed through his mind quickly, the past events that he could ignore during this period, the past events that he was most afraid to face, countless times The past events that appeared in his dreams, the fragments of memories snowed heavily in his heart, and fell on the ground to piece together a complete picture——

The boy who handed him steamed buns with a serious face, the boy who squatted on the ground quietly watching the ants move, the boy who held a four-leaf clover and smiled at him, and the boy who hooked up with him under the sky lit up by fireworks In the end, he turned into the annoyed man in the bathroom, the narrow-faced man leaning against the door of his house, and the gentle man who kept smiling at him, all of them were the man in front of him.

What is he struggling with?Obviously, it was only this person who was by his side all the time.

"If I don't do this, you will be the one who gets hurt." Jin An looked at his stunned expression and said slowly.

In order not to hurt you, you can only hurt those who might hurt you.This is my most selfish and naive protection for the one I love.I know you don't want to pick up a knife, so I choose to be the executioner, I just hope you can always be safe and happy.

What Su Qinghe didn't know was that in Jin An's eyes, he was actually the one who had been radiating warmth and saving him.From the day when he introduced himself with a smile for the first time, to the kindness he inadvertently revealed afterwards, it was all because of him that he was able to put together the truest self slowly.

There was a bitter smile on the corner of Su Qinghe's mouth, "This is not an excuse."

He opened Weibo and saw the overwhelming amount of hurtful words on the Internet like arrows, which caught him off guard.He didn't even dare to click on the picture, let alone the video.He thought of that young man in his early twenties who appeared in front of his eyes with scars all over that morning. The fleeting embarrassment could not be a fake.

Su Qinghe knew that this person's life was completely ruined up to this point.

There was also the man crying to him with a hoarse voice and scars all over his face. Their lives seemed to be ruined because they were involved with him.

He's not the one with the knife, but he can't escape the relationship.

No wonder the man told him that he deserved it all.

"I know what you're thinking." Jin An looked at his blank expression, his tone was still calm, as if with the power to comfort people's hearts, "I won't tell you that it's not your fault, but ours must be protected For myself, in order to live my own life well, I must go step by step slowly. His choice, your choice, are all your life. These are the most objective factors, just like that tree, even if it will wither , but it will still be reborn. Shouldn’t you be more aware of this truth than me?”