Flight of the Bumblebee

There is an ancient stone wall beside the path, branches stretch out from the decayed courtyard wall, and gray and dilapidated roof tiles can be seen when looking up.They are all old houses that no one lives in. When he was a child, He Qi didn’t dare to pass by at night. He was afraid that a dark shadow would suddenly appear in a place where there was no one, or that the door that had not been opened for many years creaked, and he would be frightened immediately. To be wiped out.

When I grew up and looked at it, I only felt gloomy, but there was no feeling of terror in my heart.

Xing Yan was walking on the ancient road for the first time, looking around curiously, He Qi told him that some houses were owned, but they just moved away.Some houses have been vacant for decades and have never been cleaned, probably because they really have no owners.

When they passed a courtyard, the inside was covered with tall miscellaneous shrubs and weeds that rose from the ground. It had not been repaired for many years, and it was impossible for people without tools to walk in.When I passed the open courtyard door, I couldn't see the original appearance of the house. It can be imagined that the house has been empty for many years.

Xing Yan thought that He Qi's house was also such an old house. When he saw a single-family two-story bungalow, he realized that he had imagined it wrong again.

There is a flat-roofed house in front of the gray and white house, the stairs are open-air, and the yard is empty, only a bare old tree, the branches and leaves have been cut off, and only the thick branches are left there, like a tree with limbs cut off. Only the torso of the human body remains.He has a not-so-small yard surrounded by red brick walls. The gate to the yard is a sliding iron fence with a silver metal lock hanging on it. A decoration hanging on the fence, as long as a person can easily climb over the wall and enter the yard of his house.However, even desperate thieves would not take a fancy to this unoccupied empty house, it was too desolate, and it was obvious that there was nothing at a glance.

The neighbor's house is a tall four-story new building, which rises close to the wall of his house, covering an area of ​​about two hundred square meters. , and even the balconies imitate European styles, and each floor has huge French windows and beautiful arched railings.Comparing the hatchback, He Qi's house is too miserable to bear to look at carefully.

How can it be said that people around have built new houses, and his family doesn't use it, because he and his father don't live here, so there is no need to build another house, anyway, this place has been vacant for a long time.He took out a key from his pocket, opened the tasteless metal lock hanging on the fence, and struggled to pull open the rusty fence.The rust that fell off stuck to his hands, He Qi clapped his hands, cleaned off the rust, and said to Xing Yan, "Go in, this is my home."

This is what He Qi said, where he lived with his mother.

When Xing Yan stepped into the hospital, his heart beat uncontrollably, and his hands trembled a little under his body.He turned around and looked at He Qi, who was just hanging the lock back on the fence, and put the key he took out back into his trousers pocket.On the third floor of the house next door, a woman poked her head out to have a look, exchanged glances with He Qi, and returned to her own house indifferently.A woman is a creature with strong curiosity. She probably heard the movement outside, maybe she was looking forward to seeing something, but after seeing what happened, her imagination was shattered.

There is an old-fashioned hand-pressed water well in the yard. He Qi tried to hit the handle several times, but no water came out. He raised his head, smiled wryly at Xing Yan, and said, "The rubber in the piston is dry. Go to the next door to get a basin of water and pour it in to wet it, just wait for me." He ran to the next door and stood in front of the golden door to call for someone, the woman just poked her head out again, and now she is Another look.

They may have exchanged a few words, and He Qi explained to her the purpose of coming, she stood upstairs and answered him very enthusiastically, and it didn't take long for He Qi to come over with a bucket of water and pour it into the piston mouth of the well.

He tried to pull the handle a few more times, and finally some water came out. It was yellow and full of impurities, but He Qi's face was very happy. He called Xing Yan to help him take the hand, and told him to wait until the water became clear. stop.Xing Yan agreed, while watching him run out with an empty bucket from the neighbor's house.

The tapped water is groundwater, and the house has not been lived in for a long time, and of course there is no water or electricity.For the rest of the day, they depend on this groundwater to clean out a place to stay overnight.Xing Yan didn't know what the house was like yet, he was looking forward to it, but also at a loss.What a hometown this is, where he spent his whole childhood, maybe he can still see the graffiti left by him when he was seven years old on the wall of the room, or secretly wrote the names of people he likes under the carpet.If they had more time to stay here, Xing Yan would search for every trace of childhood that He Qi left inside like a treasure hunt.But they are running out of time, before long the whole house will be toppled by the excavators and everything will be reduced to ashes.He Qi kept saying that he was not ready to say goodbye to this place, and now Xing Yan could understand his feelings.

What a pity, he hasn't seen enough, this place is going to disappear.

He Qi returned the bucket and came over, and said to Xing Yan: "I was dragged by the neighbor outside and listened to complaints for a long time. She kept saying that the house had not been enjoyed for many years after it was built, and it was demolished when it was said to be demolished. Now it is still in trouble. But I heard that their family took a lot of demolition funds, several times more than mine, so I don’t know what to complain about.” The water from the well looked clear, so He Qi washed his hands and feet casually, and then let Xing Yan stopped.Xing Yan also imitated him by rolling up his trouser legs, taking off his shoes, and standing on the smooth stone platform, letting the cool water from the ground wet his feet and palms.

On a hot summer day, this temperature is very comfortable.What a pleasant environment this yard would have been for a child if the adjacent trunk had been a large tree with luxuriant foliage, sheltered from the harsh sun.From this, it can be imagined that He Qi spent his childhood here should be very happy, not to mention that he also has a gentle mother who gave him meticulous love and care all the time.

This is what Xing Yan couldn't beg for half his life, a beautiful childhood.

He Qi stood in the courtyard paved with red bricks, with his back facing the balcony on the second floor, not knowing what he was thinking at the moment.Xing Yan looked at his back and felt envious.In his heart, there has never been a place that can be called home.The house in Germany is a prison, a cage that his mother used to trap him. The cold walls and gray furniture all hurt his eyes.The old courtyard house in Beijing lived too short a time, and the tin hut in S City lived even shorter than there.Looking back, his childhood was like a kite in the sky, his mind was not fixed, but his body was held in the hands of others.

When facing this house, in He Qi's head, memories rolled towards him like a landslide of mudslides.

The sapling planted by my grandfather has grown into a tall and towering old tree in his childhood. My father would build a shed in the yard and plant loofahs or grapes in summer. On the night when mosquito bites are the worst, the family of three Also move a table to eat in front of the stars.Sometimes there was a power outage at night, and the electric fan didn't turn on. He couldn't sleep in the sweltering night, so he spread straw mats on the balcony.His mother sleeps on the left side, singing a lullaby softly for him, and his father is on the right side, although his face is expressionless, his movements are very gentle fanning him.

At that time, he was still very young. Others thought that such a young child would not remember anything, but he remembered that the only memory left before the age of three was this.

There are many empty flower pots on the tin house, and there were all kinds of beautiful flowers in the past. Under the careful care of my mother, there are flowers blooming in his house every season.But how could it be impossible for him to take care of him in the future?The plants died one after another, as if they had an infectious disease. No matter how much information he checked, how carefully he took care of them, watered and fertilized them, they still gradually withered in front of him.

Do you think it's strange, Xing Yan?Plants seem to know something too.

After the plain statement, he suddenly turned his head and asked Xing Yan in a relaxed tone.

Facing his question, Xing Yan couldn't answer it.

He could see that He Qi was forcing himself to laugh.He said it last night, didn't want to watch the fucking house cry.Xing Yan thought bitterly: He Qi's mother must be a woman who puts a smile on her face all day long, gentle and kind.If she was still alive, He Qi wouldn't have so many sad memories, then he would be a warm and smiling boy, just like his mother.

Thinking of this, Xing Yan felt that he might shed tears one step earlier than He Qi, and he couldn't help but want to rush up and hug the sad boy.

He Qi lowered his head, avoiding his gaze, and said with a self-deprecating smile: "Xing Yan, don't look at me with that expression, I've endured enough, don't let me fall by the wayside."

He turned around, walked to the iron house, and pushed open the door. Except for a brick stove, there were some miscellaneous things inside, and there was nothing left.

When Xing Yan couldn't see it, he quietly wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.He felt that he was too unsteady, He Qi was clearly still patient, but he started to cry first, no wonder He Qi called him a crybaby every day, it was really not wronged at all.

He followed behind He Qi, and when he was about to go in, He Qi came out head-on, the two almost bumped into each other, He Qi showed a surprised expression for a moment, and then he said: "Go out, there is nothing to see inside."

There is a wooden door on the first floor, which is fastened by a large iron chain and locked with only a small lock.This kind of lock, even Xing Yan can gently pry it off with a piece of wood and leverage, it seems useless.He Qi remembered that he didn't seem to find the key to the lock, so he searched around, dug out a brick from the crack in the ground, and broke it with all his might.The thick chains parted at the sound, and he threw his head on the ground casually, and pushed open the wooden door.

The first floor was also empty, save for the dusty rattan baskets and a handmade wooden cabinet, both of which were old and old, which had been left by his grandparents.

Xing Yan saw an old picture pasted on the wall, which showed fireworks, and the villains in it were all dressed thickly, dancing with fireworks in their hands, standing around and laughing together.Half of the painting was covered with black mold and dust, and the expression of the villain on it became very blurred.

Tiny dust fluttered and danced in the twilight, and was agitated by the airflow the moment the door opened, rushing toward them.He Qi frowned and covered his mouth and nose, even Xing Yan turned his head and sneezed twice.

He Qi said, "There's nothing left here, let's go upstairs."

They walked up the stairs on the outer edge, and Xing Yan saw many empty flower pots stacked together, piled up in the corner of the middle platform of the stairs and on the iron roof.The balcony on the second floor is also full of dust. The ground is always wet during the rainy season in recent days, and the moss almost climbed all the way along the wall to the ceiling.In this 30-year-old building, the railings of the balcony and the transom of the house are beautiful stone carvings of flowers and birds, which are very classical Chinese.

The room on the second floor seemed to be their bedroom.

He Qi searched in his pocket, found another key, and opened the door with great effort.Xing Yan stood beside him, He Qi didn't open the door and walked in, he called softly: "Why?"

He just came back to his senses, held the doorknob, turned his wrist, and opened the door that had been dusty for months.

There are more furniture inside than in the other two places. A wooden board makes the house a partition, and the outside is probably a living room with rattan chairs and tea tables. There is a layer of gray dust on the glass door of the bookcase.A simple large chandelier hangs from the top directly above the tea table. Xing Yan can imagine that He Qi's father used to sit on this rattan chair more than ten years ago, holding a newspaper and reading under the chandelier. and happily watching TV programs.What about his mother, where will his mother be at this time?

He Qi looked back at him and said with a smile: "I refused to let them throw away these furniture at that time. It's stupid. They will be thrown away as construction waste in a few days."

"How..."

He Qi interrupted him: "You don't have to think about comforting me, I'm thinking about it, really." He said with a smile: "Anyway, life is a process of constant loss. It's been 11 years, and I should try to accept it all. If I'm still crying, my mother won't worry about me." He tried his best to pull out a smile, which didn't make Xing Yan feel any better.

The bedroom was on the back of the partition, with a small door covered by a curtain.There was a Chinese landscape painting on the door curtain. He Qi opened it and explained to Xing Yan: "My dad changed this one later, and the taste is terrible, right? On the previous door curtain, there were two cranes embroidered by my mother herself. It’s beautiful. I’m afraid of getting it dirty, so I put it away, and I’ll show it to you next time.”

Before Xing Yan could say yes, he was surprised by the furnishings in the bedroom.

Except that every piece of furniture was covered with dust, there seemed to be all the furniture that should be there, and all the spaces were crowded. A large wooden bed was placed in the middle, and a large wardrobe was at the foot of the bed. Leave just a little extra room for action.A desk and a sewing machine table were side by side by the window, where his parents worked side by side.Xing Yan asked He Tong where he slept, and He Qi said that he slept with them in this bed when he was a child, and moved downstairs to sleep alone when he was in junior high school.After his mother died, his father used this room alone, but the previous furnishings have not changed, and it is still the same as when his mother was alive.

"However," he laughed again: "My father hasn't been back for several years. If it wasn't for the demolition, he might not even remember this house at all."

Before Xing Yan could see his expression clearly, he turned his face away.He Qi walked slowly in the bedroom, walked to the desk along the aisle under the bed, stretched out his body and forcefully opened the wooden window, and the light in the room suddenly became much brighter.

With his back turned to Xing Yan, he began to say to him in a pleasant tone: "When I accidentally fell asleep watching TV outside, my mother would ask my father to carry me from the carpet to the bed. Most of the time, I would wake up as soon as I touched the bed. Now, my mother has to leave the sewing machine table and lie down to put me to sleep. She can knit sweaters, and she knitted many clothes when I was a child. I still have the last one she knitted for me after junior high school in my closet. Sweater vest, I thought it was dirty at the time, and I refused to wear it..."

His voice became smaller and smaller, until finally Xing Yan could barely hear it.From behind, I saw He Qi's fingers gently caressing the surface of the sewing table, pulling out long trails of dust.He opened the secret compartment of the sewing table and pulled out the old Butterfly sewing machine.Under the sun, countless fine dust flies around the black body, just like the stars in the Milky Way are miniaturized on this table, and the memories of years are flooded here.

His hand suddenly clenched into a fist and hit another table. Xing Yan ran over quickly, held his hand in distress to see if there was any injury.

He Qi was trembling, he clenched his teeth, showing resentment and aggrieved expression, Xing Yan couldn't help but put his head on his shoulder, and gently comforted his back.He Qi shook his head in his arms, almost gnashing his teeth and said: "He lives so happily, he doesn't remember anything..."

Xing Yan clearly knew who the "he" He Qi was talking about, and he really wanted to tell He Qi—"People should look forward", but Xing Yan didn't say anything, He Qi would definitely not want to get it from him now. Hear this sentence.

So Xing Yan said to him softly: "We can move this table away, move it to a place that will not be demolished, and let it stay there quietly."

He Qi chuckled softly in his arms, and said: "Xing Yan, you are also stupid. Aunt Li would not want to see my mother's relics appear in her house. No matter how generous a woman is, She will never allow this kind of thing to happen to her." He raised his head, left Xing Yan's arms, looked into his eyes and said, "Besides, even if all her belongings are moved to my room, people I can’t come back either. Do I want to hold a table for the rest of my life and recall the past?”

At this moment, Xing Yan felt that He Qi was never far away from him.He seemed to suddenly lose sight of him, and he didn't understand what was going on in this man's heart.

This is the deepest side of his heart that He Qi has never shown in front of others.

He said that he is not a person who likes to look back on the past.

In He Qi's heart, the death of his mother left him with an indelible scar, which no one can make up for.Even Xing Yan couldn't make him feel better at this moment.

He Qi said that he would leave all the furniture here and let them turn to ashes along with the whole house.He even turned his head and said to Xing Yan with a smile on his face that he is actually a negative person. Even if he keeps these things around, he will always think of them gradually disappearing one day in the future.If I were like my mother, leaving the world without warning, leaving only a room full of useless objects, which would be cleaned up by future generations as garbage.Isn't that scene ten times sadder than now?What do you say, Xing...

He didn't have time to finish the sentence, and the rest of the words were blocked in his throat.

Xing Yan's face was still in a daze, until he saw He Qi's astonished expression, he felt tears falling down his face.

In He Qi's eyes, his expression must be terribly sad.

Emotions gradually surged, and more and more tears appeared on his face, He Qi froze in place, suddenly at a loss.

He has cried too many times, but never like today.Tears are like a dark river flowing to the sea, and the neck is wet together.

When He Qi said that he might leave this world without warning, at that moment Xing Yan realized that his feelings for He Qi were so crazy that it could even be described as irrational.

If there was such a day in the future, he would not even want to live alone for a second.