Schrödinger's straight man

"Hey, you spent the whole afternoon with Sakura Chuixue in the skating rink? You fell and crawled all over the ground like a bastard, and you couldn't even stand up?" Yutou lay on the hospital bed and typed on the keyboard. His sick leave was almost over. Resumed part of the programmer's work on the hospital bed.While modifying the new code, Qin Shaoyou suddenly came to see him with supper, and chatted with him about what happened today.

"Speak seriously, don't be joking." Qin Shaoyou looked at his mobile phone while talking about fans, and at the same time had to blame Yutou, "Isn't it all a bad idea from you bastards? I want to know that he can skate, and the skating rink paid me for it." Don’t even enter! What can we do now? The first step of planning, failure will open the door to failure—failure is at home!”

Yutou imagined the scene of Qin Shaoyou hugging Ying Chuixue's thigh, crying to his father and mother begging him to take him off the ice, and almost couldn't help spraying the Coke he just drank on his face, and said with a suppressed smile: "Plan No. What about the second step? Ying Chuixue is not afraid of ghosts? You were dragged out while hugging someone's thigh again?"

Qin Shaoyou corrected with a black face: "Hold your waist! Who hugged his thighs? Am I that short? I'm a few centimeters taller than him!" Yutou quickly admitted his mistake and coaxed him to say that you are taller and you are taller before he continued Said: "He is not afraid of ghosts, but he actually has night blindness! He became blind as soon as he entered, grabbed me and kept calling 'Qin Shaoyou, Qin Shaoyou'. Look at how he caught me from behind..." He lifted his coat and the clothes underneath On the T-shirt, dark red nail scratches were clearly intertwined. Those who didn't know it thought he did something indescribable at night and was scratched out by the person below.

Yutou felt that it looked more and more like that kind of mark, so he stretched out his hand to press it, and Qin Shaoyou raised his brows in pain, and said, "Did nothing else happen to you in the haunted house?" The haunted house where you can't see your fingers is a good place for young lovers to sneak around and seek excitement.

Qin Shaoyou felt uncomfortable being stared at by him, and it took him a long time to realize his implication, and said with a straight face, "Ying Chuixue is actually a man."

"What... what?" Yutou opened his mouth wide in surprise, his fingers trembled, he pressed a wrong key, and almost turned off the computer.He carefully saved the code, closed the screen of the notebook, sat upright and said, "The man? The one with the handle? The same body structure as you? Fuck... he really is a 1.8-meter sissy!"

Qin Shaoyou snorted heavily, not knowing whether he was angry at Ying Chuixue for being a sissy or Yutou calling him a sissy.Yutou touched his chin maliciously again: "You don't beat him up when you find out that you have been cheated. It seems that he is quite beautiful." He has known Qin Shaoyou for many years, and he has summed up one characteristic, only gentleness like water The opposite sex and natural beauty can make Qin Shaoyou have an indelible affection.

"It's not bad, it looks better than a stinky man like you." Qin Shaoyou thought of Yao Ruolin's diamond-shaped lips that turned up like petals every time he spoke, and his eyes that were always shining like stars, it was easy. His mind wandered, and he answered indiscriminately.

Seeing him smirking and dazed for a while, Yutou leaned forward and snapped his fingers: "I remember it's still autumn, right? Winter hasn't arrived yet, so why are people thinking about spring?" Qin Shaoyou restrained his expression and refused to admit it. Pretend to say, "Then how does Su Qianxun compare with Ying Fuxue?"

Qin Shaoyou said contemptuously without hesitation: "How dare the light of fireflies compete with the bright moon!"

Yutou wanted to say something later, when Qin Shaoyou received a WeChat message on his mobile phone, the fan stopped talking, and reached out to touch Yutou's pillow: "Did my medical insurance card overwhelm you?"

"You have run out of money for your medical insurance card." Yutou took out his own, "Take it, just spend it, Dad treats you to a doctor."

Qin Shaoyou took it and went to the pharmacy to buy medicine. He was really rude to him and bought a bunch of medicines for trauma and burns.Yutou teased him, are you going to be caught by Sakura Chuixue again?How will I get the money for these medicines next time?Qin Shaoyou put away the medicine like a treasure, took the marker next to his notebook and wrote smelly hooligans on his plastered feet, and then ran away without a trace.

In the evening, he and Yao Ruolin went to have a self-service barbecue. In the newly opened restaurant, a thin piece of paper must be spread on the oven, which is called barbecue on paper.Yao Ruolin seemed to be seeing a barbecue for the first time, spread the paper on the fire and turned on the fire, scalding himself.Qin Shaoyou went to the seafood area and dug a glass of crushed ice for him to put his fingers in to apply. He accidentally found a bandage close to his skin color on the ring finger of his right hand. He teased him and said, "You are such a delicate flower in a greenhouse. Come out!" One day, both hands were injured."

Yao Ruolin put the bandage on his lips and pressed it, blowing air to relieve the pain like a child, and said sullenly: "It didn't hurt today. It's because I wanted to confess the truth to you on WeChat a few days ago. Dropped the phone and got cut by the screen fragments."

Qin Shaoyou remembered that he seemed to have dropped his mobile phone during the few days when he was not online, so he fell silent, immersed himself in brushing oil on the oven, put a white paper on it and brushed another layer of oil.Yao Ruolin doesn't know how to cook, but he knows how to eat. Qin Shaoyou helps him everywhere; he is not picky at all, and even eats roasted coriander with relish.I just reasoned that I had a cold from staying up late, my tonsils were inflamed, and I couldn't eat spicy food. After eating some of everything, I sat across from Qin Shaoyou and ate cupcakes to fill my stomach.

He thought to himself that Yao Ruolin was afraid of spicy food.I was going to sprinkle more chili powder on the chicken wings, but after thinking about it, I just smeared salt and cumin.For Qin Shaoyou, who eats spicy food, it's actually boring.

Before entering the underground parking lot, Qin Shaoyou returned Yao Ruolin's WeChat.When chatting with Yutou just now and trying to cheat him of his medical insurance card, he also chatted with Yao Ruolin about hiring part-time workers.Yao Ruolin mentioned it to him once in the side dishes in his private kitchen, and he forgot to order takeaway when his friends were away, so he was hungry.Qin Shaoyou said that you should hire an aunt to cook.Yao Ruolin showed a naive expression of why he doesn't eat minced meat, saying that there used to be an aunt in his family who took care of his daily life and food all day, but the aunt kept snitching on his mother, so he was fired and changed to a cleaning company to come to clean regularly.Is there an aunt who cooks and leaves when the time comes?

Qin Shaoyou didn't withdraw from him at all, thinking to himself, is the world of your rich people so extravagant and ignorant?After the show, I asked his colleagues for him, and taught him how to hire a part-time worker who does cleaning from [-]:[-] p.m. to [-]:[-] p.m. for dinner.

Facing such an enemy who lied to his feelings and poached his walls, it can be said that he broke his heart.

"I just came out of the hospital and I'm going to drive back right away. You really don't need some medicine?" Qin Shaoyou flipped through the most effective and expensive imported medicine he had specially selected. At the sound of Daniel's voice, he smiled perfunctorily at Yao Ruolin, and directly cut off the phone.Throwing a bag of medicine on the passenger seat at random, muttering, "Strange, why should I court a liar?" Driving home to sleep.

On Sunday afternoon, Yao Ruolin dug Fang Qilian out of the woman's bed and asked him to accompany him to the housekeeping company.Fang Qilian had never been in that kind of place where fish and dragons mixed together, and he said with disgust: "Why don't you ask your subordinates to go, and run away by yourself."

"Then let my mother call me every day to ask you why you are picky eater and don't eat carrots? You are not at home for dinner today? You are busy every day..."

He learned so well that Fang Qilian was also afraid when he thought about his mother's appearance: "Well, it's safe to do it yourself, and we'll leave now. What's the name of the housekeeping company? Say it again."

Yao Ruolin said contemptuously: "You don't know anything except playing and women. How can I know friends like you?" Inexplicably, he began to envy Yutou. Died of poison in the hospital.

Fang Qilian was scolded by him for no reason, and he sensed something unusual: "Which decathlon big shot have you been in contact with recently? Isn't it the dog president who asked to meet and fight yesterday?"

Yao Ruolin remained silent, and Quan assumed the default.He lowered his head and found Qin Shaoyou's WeChat, thinking that he might have to trouble him again, because this bad friend in front of him is really unreliable.Fang Qilian leaned over to take a peek, and while Yao Ruolin was chatting with him, he quietly informed the others.

Yaoxian'er was the first to reply to him in the WeChat group, proudly said: "I said earlier that the president of the dog does not care about meat and vegetables, and he does not care about men and women. It must be because we are beautiful neighbors, so we are reluctant to fight, and we are playing 24 filial piety." —to catch him!"

Mr. Huainan went on to say: "Then we can continue to use beauty tricks. Is there a big boss in his dormitory? Why don't we just poach him here too."

Fang Qilian put his phone back in his pocket, and when it vibrated again, he took it out and suddenly yelled strangely: "Oh, my girlfriend's place has been robbed, it won't work, I have to support her. Ruolin, you should go by yourself, anyway, I will I don’t understand, it’s a waste of saliva to go there.” Yao Ruolin had already seen the news in the group that they were urging Fang Qilian not to use him as a light bulb; he couldn’t help but stare at the latter, kick his ass and yell at him to get out.

And Qin Shaoyou is also talking about them here.Yutou spread the secret that Ying Chuixue is a big man in the Yin Yang Room. Apart from scolding him for being a liar, all the members were also very curious: How beautiful is this Ying Chuuxue?Forcibly forcing President Dog to lose his grievances at first sight.

Yutou regretted not taking him to take a photo yesterday, glanced at Qin Shaoyou who had almost got into his phone, and regretted: "Such a beautiful person, if you don't leave anything, I'm afraid you will forget it when you wake up."

Qin Shaoyou was immersed in Yao Ruolin's praise for him, his thinking ability was reduced by half, no doubt there was fraud, and he said truthfully: "I will never forget, I secretly took pictures of him while eating." Yutou became interested, and beat around the bush again share share.

In the photo, Yao Ruolin puffed his cheeks like a hamster, and was about to put the remaining half of the cupcake into his mouth.It is clearly an angle that is extremely easy to make people ugly, but Qin Shaoyou captures it just right, with cute movements and expressions, and the lighting is also perfectly coordinated.The finished piece is quite like a volume of watercolor painting with moderate shades, the background is illusory, and the color blocks are laid randomly, only Yao Ruolin, a dazzling figure, is carefully outlined and very colorful.

Yutou looked at the photo carefully, and then probed to see the meeting place where Yao Ruolin made an appointment with him. The sign was a minicooper, and his face was as pale as a patient who had been constipated for many days.Qin Shaoyou mistook Yao Ruolin for being unattractive, and asked fiercely, "What do you mean by acting like you're going into a coffin?"

"This person..." Yutou pointed to Yao Ruolin's photo and the model of his car, "It's the mistress I bumped into that day... Bah! The rich second generation I bumped into, please come and scold my companion."

The author has something to say:

Qin Shaoyou: This is embarrassing. Am I indebted to Yao Ruolin through this, or am I going to break with him completely?

Yutou (rolling his eyes to the sky): It sounds like a person like you who values ​​sex and despises friends is willing to break up.

Qin Shaoyou (deeply convinced): Alright, I'll take revenge on him right now!