Rabbit's Murder Memories

Before Yuqing's operation, I had a surgery with him, a real one.

His thing, big, hard, but just the right size for me, my bottom was so wet like it was the night I hugged Miyuki.

During orgasm, enjoying the spasms of excitement below, I hugged him tightly and said:

"Yuqing, no matter what, you must live on..."

"Why?" He asked like a fool.

"Because I haven't gotten enough with you, how can you die? How can you die like this?" I grabbed his collar tightly with my hands, and suddenly burst into tears of grievance.

"Fool, everyone is going to die, no one can stop it."

"I don't, I don't, I don't want you to die, even if I exchange my life for yours, why do you let me stand in front of the crematorium and watch you being burned to ashes bit by bit , don't you think it's cruel?"

"Okay, I got it..." He smiled, and suddenly poked the thing that had lost its hardness slightly.

I shuddered and slapped him with a smile.

He laughed hey, like a child who has just done something bad.

·

After Yuqing finished the operation, I accompanied him to start the reciprocating life from home to the hospital.

As expected, he kept his promise, showed no resistance to treatment, and acted positively and courageously.Every time after chemotherapy, he always smiles, like a general who has narrowly won the battlefield, while I often have a sad face, like a deserter who has abandoned his armor.

Maybe women are born to be such tangled animals.

At the beginning of his illness, I was afraid that he would be weak, that he would resist the treatment and leave me; but when he was very calm and cooperative, I felt that he was too brave and too indifferent.

Is there anyone who is not afraid of death?

Finally one time, I couldn't help but ask him: "Yuqing, are you really not afraid?"

He thought for a while and smiled. This time, he didn't ask me to lip-sync or gesture. Instead, he pulled a piece of paper and wrote a line:

The joys and sorrows of human beings are like the withering and flourishing of vegetation; the sorrow and joy of human beings are like the flickering of fireflies

In the moment of living together, there is no major event except death and life; the breeze comes slowly, envy the long waves and not the past and the present.

Facing that line of writing, I read it for a long time, and finally understood the difference between me and him—he had already detached himself and seen himself clearly, leaving me alone in the world, still clinging to this nostalgia.

People always see the world from different perspectives. He sees his death as a feather floating in the water, but I see his death as the end of the world, and Mount Tai is about to collapse.

I hugged him suddenly, no matter how he pushed, rubbed, and comforted me, I still refused to let go, I just hugged his neck tightly, from dusk to dusk, like a sloth hugging a lone tree.

·

Since his operation, I feel that the days have passed quickly. Goodbye Miyuki, it is already mid-December.

It was a morning when it was snowing lightly, she knocked on the door suddenly, the moment I opened the door, I hardly recognized her.

She was wearing a thick down jacket and a hat, standing outside the door shivering, her skin was still so white, but not as crystal clear as before, but a kind of sickly pale.

After she entered the room, she took off her down jacket, and I found that she had lost a lot of weight, not only physically, but also mentally.

"Where is Ji Ran, didn't you come with me?" I asked.

"No, there is something wrong with his company. How is Mr. Lou recovering recently?"

I turned my head to look at Yuqing, Yuqing smiled and gestured OK.

She put down the supplements with a smile, didn't even sit down, said a few more words, and then excused herself to leave.

When I sent her to the car, I asked, "Are you okay recently?"

She froze for a moment, then smiled faintly, "It's okay, what can I do!"

·

The next afternoon, I went to a hospital in the old city to get medicine for Yuqing, and met Miyuki again.

She was driving the red Martha not far in front of me. Recalling her strange behavior yesterday, I couldn't help calling her.

"Miyuki, where are you?"

"At home," she said.

"Oh."

"what happened?"

"It's okay, I just felt that the meeting yesterday was too hasty. Because of Yuqing's illness, I haven't gone shopping with you for a long time."

"Well, I'll call you another day."

"Can't you do it today?"

"Today... I'm a little uncomfortable."

I laughed, "Okay, then I'll wait for your call."

After hanging up the phone, I drove behind her car. She didn't drive the car to her home, or even to the city. Instead, she drove the car along an outer ring road to a small town in the suburbs. Town, and finally parked in the parking lot of an express hotel.

I parked the car on the side of the road and looked at the dirty express hotel in front of me strangely, feeling extremely surprised in my heart.

Not to mention that the hotel is extremely old, and even the parking lot is potholed, even if she really needs to stay in the hotel for something, why not go to the free Ji's Hotel?

Taking a step back, if she came here to meet her lover privately, so it is not convenient to go to Ji's Hotel, then with her financial resources and cleanliness, she should choose a better place instead of living in such a messy place. In the express hotel.

While analyzing various possibilities in my mind, I stared at Miyuki's red Martha.

Miyuki hadn't gotten out of the car since entering the parking lot. She didn't open the car door until a man came out of the hotel door and greeted him.

The man was short and wretched, as thin as a monkey.When he saw Miyuki, he suddenly laughed, put one hand around Miyuki's waist, and rubbed her buttocks with his hands, but Miyuki did not resist at all, standing like a wooden figure, letting him move her. ·alley.

Not long after, he entered the hotel with Miyuki in his arms.

I suddenly felt the bitter cold in the car. While shivering, I found a place with a wide view and parked the car. Then I called Yuqing and told him my discovery and my location.

"I may not be able to go back until very late, is it okay for you to eat alone?"

Because he lost his tongue, he could only listen quietly, so after asking, I hung up the phone directly.

Soon, I received his WeChat reply:

"I'm fine by myself, you must be careful! Don't break in, and don't call the police rashly. I feel like she is poisoned."

My heart skipped a beat. In my impression, Yuqing's senses are always slender and sharp, like an ant's antennae. As long as he makes a judgment, he rarely makes mistakes.

I moved the seat back, lay down on the seat, and stared intently at the hotel door.

Several hours passed, but Miyuki didn't come out. It wasn't until night fell that I turned on the air conditioner and slowly closed my eyes.

But after not sleeping for a long time, I woke up suddenly, and found that the top of my head was covered with dark clouds, and the surrounding area was a vast expanse of whiteness. I don't know when, the sky suddenly began to snow.I turned on the windshield wipers and took a look outside the car. Michelle's car was still there. I let out a sigh of relief and fell asleep again.

The light snow stopped in the early morning of the second day, and the bright sunlight quickly shone through the clouds, and the residual snow on the ground reflected light, making it as transparent as sugar.Miyuki didn't come out of the hotel until dusk, and she was accompanied by several couples of men and women, all of whom shrunk their heads listlessly, and when they reached the hotel entrance, they all squinted their eyes.

I picked up my phone and took a few photos. In the photos, Miyuki had empty eyes and vacant steps, like a puppet walking on clouds.

After she started the car, I slowly followed her. She drove fast and slow, and almost hit an electric car that was cutting the road. When she was about to enter the city, she even ran a red light.

I spotted a road section with few vehicles, accelerated the speed, honked the horn, and forced her Martha to stop by the side of the road.

She got out of the car first, with an angry and flustered expression. The moment I got out of the car and looked at her, her expression was mixed with some confusion.

I was not polite to her, I just clenched my fists and gave her two slaps in the face.

She covered her face, her eyes were wide open, filled with long-lost tears, she didn't speak, as if she was instantly stunned by me.

"Don't you want to live anymore?" After the frightening chase just now, I was both worried and disappointed in her, and I even felt a little bit of grievance in my heart.

I really want to tell her: "You can cheat, but you must not find such a wretched and ugly man; you can take drugs, but you must not gather together for prostitution, there is no bottom line; you can also degenerate, but you must not degenerate to the current level .Because after all, you are the girl whom my mother had secretly loved and waited for for many years. While you insulted yourself, you also insulted the past between us, the past that I cherish and carefully collected for many years."

However, I didn't say a word of these words in the end.

Instead, I hugged her tightly and lay on her shoulder, crying like a lost child.

After Miyuki was silent for a long time, she finally burst into tears.

As the crowd of onlookers grew, I dragged her into the car and slowly drove the car towards the embankment of a reservoir.

Beside the embankment, she confessed everything about herself after high school.In that long story, it mainly contains the relationship between her and three men.

She said she wanted to escape but didn't know how.

I said you go back to Japan, never come back, there is only one way.

She said that Ji Ran said that he would not divorce her unless she died.

I thought about it, didn't say anything, sent her back to the place just now, and then drove home alone.

·

When she got home, Yuqing was playing the piano, the melody was like water, deep and serene, probably an impromptu performance.

Hearing the sound of my closing the door, his piano sound stopped abruptly, and I heard the sound of the piano chair moving, he walked over, and the moment he saw me, he smiled warmly.

He pointed to the kitchen, and I suddenly smelled a fragrance. I opened the casserole and saw that it was steaming Chaoshan fresh shellfish porridge.

Suddenly, my heart felt hot, and I couldn't help but turned around and kissed him, then filled two bowls and put them on the dining table.

While eating, he listened to me rambling about Miyuki.Originally, this matter was complicated and embarrassing, and it would be difficult for me to talk about it normally, but because I was facing him, I said it extremely calmly, without any concealment.

Yuqing also listened very carefully, most of the time he kept looking at me intently, occasionally lowered his head to eat porridge, and occasionally frowning, when I finished speaking, he took the initiative to clean up the dishes, still without saying a word.

Of course, he had his tongue cut out, so he couldn't speak now if he wanted to, but even if he still had his tongue, usually in this situation, he didn't speak very much.I don't know when we started to adapt to each other.I'm used to his silence, and he's used to my noise.

After dinner, I took out the violin that hadn’t been moved for a long time, first tuned the strings, then put rosin on the bow, washed my hands and sat on the chair for a long time without moving. The bow was only picked up after the emotion, from Beethoven, Lao Chai, Sibelius, to Saint-Saëns' "Introduction and Caprice Rondo".

It was past midnight when I stopped.

I raised my head and found that Yuqing was listening quietly in the shadows in the corner of the living room. He was wearing only a white shirt and was leaning against the wall with his hands crossed.

It wasn't until I adjusted my breathing and picked up Ciprian Polomboscu's "Ballade", that he suddenly stepped forward and sat in front of the piano to accompany me.

After chemotherapy, compared with the original amount of training, he was slack in practice, but a genius is a genius after all. He poured that innate strength into gentle notes, stabilized the rhythm, gave me guidance, and made me feel better. This tear-jerking tune becomes less sad.

I looked at his thin back under the moon, and suddenly felt inexplicably heartbroken. I felt like a Cinderella who suddenly ran into a fairy tale, but my prince was about to disappear.

At the end of the last note, I put down the violin and hugged him from behind. I put my head in his elegant neck, overlapping him in the shape of a swan in the dark night.

I said, "Yuqing, will you go to the hospital with me tomorrow?"

He turned his head in confusion. I knew he wanted to ask why he was going because tomorrow is not the day for chemotherapy.

I said, "I want to have a baby with you, let's go and freeze the sperm."

He trembled, then smiled, and scratched my nose with his hands.

I said: "This house is so big, I'm afraid that if you die, I will be alone."

He looked at me quietly, stroked the keys casually with one hand, and finally nodded.

I slowly retreated to the chair, he pushed the notes, and I started to play alone.Playing from Chopin, in a few hours, he used the piano as a sword to waste his illness and time.

Today, he is uncharacteristically, his whole body seems to be completely burned, and he specializes in playing music full of war rhythms. Almost every note is full of murderous anger, until the morning light outside the window, he When I put on the violin cover, I realized that my whole back was covered with cold sweat.

I walked towards him and said cautiously: "Yuqing, pianists' hands are not for killing..."

He glanced at me, smiled slightly, but didn't answer anything, but untied his watch and adjusted the time on his phone.

I said again: "The matter of Michelle is not in our control, and we can't control it. It was her fate that she met Ji Ran, and it was her fate that she got involved in drugs. Whether it is this fate or this disaster, we can't control it. "

He still ignored me, staring at the Beijing time on the screen of the mobile phone in a daze.

"Anyway, I don't allow blood on your fingers, even if the blood is for me, it's not okay, I don't agree."

He still ignored me.

A few seconds later, he suddenly picked up the watch, pushed down the crown, and wound up the mainspring. He put the watch back on his hand, straightened the collar of his shirt, and then took out a note and wrote: A line of words, I went forward to make up together, and saw what he wrote:

"If I die, let her love you for me."

·

Although I don't want to, but to some extent, there is nothing I can do.

Facing my entanglement, he suddenly spread a piece of inspection results in front of me, and told me in a note that he was running out of time, and this was his last wish.

A few days later, after much negotiation, the concert called "Farewell" was held as scheduled.

The moment Ji Ranyin Hong's blood spilled out, I left my seat and walked towards the exit.

Because I don't want to see him fall to the ground, be arrested, or see him holding the scalpel tightly and smiling all over his face.

I know he doesn't want me to see it either.

In the process of leaving him, I stood up all the way, pocketed, and kept my eyes on.Because I know that I must be strong, I must grow up, I must clenched my fists, and become what an adult should be, because just now, the only man in this world who still treats me as a child has left forever.

I came out from the exit and stood in front of the concert hall, looking at the fleeing crowd, I could not help squatting on the ground, letting the tears flow freely, I felt extremely wronged.

Because I don't understand anyway, why did that little hedgehog, that little hedgehog who obviously hasn't grown up, suddenly have no home?

Didn't you make an agreement with me, that you would hold me in your arms forever, why did you just let go of it all of a sudden?

You said that after you die, let Michelle stay with me forever, but do you know that from the moment you hugged me, I am no longer a lesbian, I have already become a complete woman, a woman who only belongs to Your woman, why do you suddenly don't want me?

I obviously haven't gotten enough with you yet, I obviously haven't said that sentence to you properly, why do you suddenly not get along with me?

I slowly wiped away my tears, stood up, and walked against the flow of people to the concert hall.

When I stood in front of the bandstand again, Ji Ran had long since disappeared. In the hall that was still full just now, there were only a few spectators left.

Because the police hadn't arrived yet, Yuqing was still pressed down by the bodyguards, unable to move at all.With tears in my eyes, I walked slowly to the stage and returned to his side. I sat on the ground, looked at his puzzled eyes, wiped the corners of my eyes, and said:

"Yuqing, I forgot to say a word to you. I wanted to say this to you a long time ago, but I was always embarrassed. When we got married, and because we knew each other too well, I was even more embarrassed. "

He opened his mouth and wanted to speak, but in the end he could barely make a series of strange sounds. I knew he was trying to drive me away, and he didn't want me to get involved.

Seeing that I was indifferent, he suddenly struggled violently, but the bodyguard's hand was so strong that he was pressed firmly.

he's changed!

He has become completely demeanorless, looks funny, and is described as embarrassed.

I continued to look at him with tears, looking at the ordinary man in front of me who had nothing to do with handsomeness, and finally said slowly: "I love you."