In a trance, Jiang Wenluo felt that he had spent a long time.

He rode in a small boat, weaving through the reeds, and the sharp edges of the grass cut his skin.The sound of the water under the boat is obvious, it is rattling, flowing and quiet.

This is a very novel experience, like entering a fairy tale world, the boat follows his consciousness, and Jiang Wenluo can control everything.He wants the boat to swing to the left, and the boat swings to the left.

He thought, to find the moon, the boat will get closer and closer to the moon.

The tall reeds almost covered him, forming a small boat path. Jiang Wenluo stood up staggeringly, bent down to hold the moon, and when the white moon was held up by him, suddenly It shattered through his fingers.

This made Jiang Wenluo feel a little sad.

It's not cold here, the wind is warm, and the aroma of plants and trees is coming from all directions, which makes Jiang Wenluo feel very familiar, but he can't remember where he smelled it before, but he still smells it all at once. I feel relieved.

It was as if Jiang Wenluo's memory had been emptied. The little boy was locked in a closed glass container, and his viscous and noisy memories fell on the glass cover, isolating him from Jiang Wenluo.

Jiang Wenluo sat on the bow, took off his shoes, put his bare feet into the water, and played in the water a few times, feeling very novel and interesting.

"Jiang Wenluo!"

Someone screamed at him, it was an extremely angry roar, and Jiang Wenluo felt very scared. He shrank his neck, and suddenly remembered that this voice belonged to his mother, a beautiful and sick woman.

"You bitch!"

"Whose child is it?"

The male voice was hoarse and rough, roaring angrily.

With the help of his voice, Jiang Wenluo could tell that the angry man was his father.

Jiang Wenluo raised his head in a daze, and the scene that had been buried in his memory suddenly reappeared. He recalled that it was when he was four years old.When his face was destroyed—

Ever since Jiang Wenluo became conscious, his family was very poor. His father always wore shabby clothes, would stroke Jiang Wenluo's head kindly, would comfort him when he was being bullied by children, told him many heroic stories, and taught him the future. Be a brave and generous man too.

But his mother has always been unkind to him. That woman always wears exquisite makeup and often doesn't see anyone all day long. When Jiang Wenluo makes mistakes—for example, when she breaks the porcelain plate while washing the dishes, she will He would slap little Jiang Wenluo angrily, but wouldn't let him cry.

His father would quarrel with his mother, saying that she could not treat the child like this, and the frightened Jiang Wenluo hugged his father's leg and hid behind him.

"Why are you so worthless!" His mother often scolded him, "How could I marry you!"

But his father was not angry either, he just lowered his head and sat helplessly on the sofa smoking a cigarette, wiping Xiao Jiang Wenluo's tears to coax him.

Xiao Jiang Wenluo could see that his father was unhappy, so he took the paper for himself sensiblely, wiped away his tears and smiled at his father.

It looks like a very cute little angel.

—Things changed overnight.

That day, the sleeping little Jiang Wenluo was woken up by the sound of quarreling. He got off the bed and went out barefoot. He saw his father, drunk for the first time, and gave his mother a hard slap on the head. Loud insults: "You bitch!"

"Whose child is Jiang Wenluo?!"

"Why the hell are you so shameless!"

Little Jiang Wenluo hid behind the door. At this time, he didn't know much, and he didn't know the meaning of "whose child is it?"

His shadow was spotted by his mother, and the woman grabbed his pajamas and pulled him out, "Jiang Wenluo!" She screamed, venting all her anger at the child, and gave him kick.

Jiang Wenluo was trembling with fear.

Watching his own parents huddled in front of him, they attacked each other with the worst words, his mother kicked his father's legs in high heels, pulled his hair, his father stood up again, and grabbed her mother's waves hard With long hair, she slammed her head hard against the wall.

"boom!"

"boom!"

Little Jiang Wenluo couldn't forget this sound, and it appeared in nightmares countless times.

He subconsciously hid, and was dragged back by the woman like a chicken, forcing him to join the chaotic battlefield, the boiling water beside him humming——

The handle of the kettle was hooked by the woman's hand, she immediately avoided it swiftly, but the boiling water splashed directly on Jiang Wenluo's face.

Jiang Wenluo screamed immediately.

"Lolo!"

His father woke up immediately, pushed the woman aside forcefully, picked up Xiao Jiang Wenluo, and was about to send him to the hospital.Little Jiang Wenluo's consciousness gradually became blurred, he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes, at the last second when he closed his eyes, what he saw was the woman sitting on the floor tiles in the kitchen, looking at the two of them laughing softly .

With all the makeup on, lipstick rubbed onto her cheeks, she looked bonkers.

Jiang Wenluo has been disfigured since then. When he was in the hospital, he was looking forward to his father coming to see him, telling him the story of a great hero, and comforting him to be brave and strong.But neither of those two people showed up, and Jiang Wenluo was taken care of by a strange middle-aged woman.

When fetching him hot water, he would look at him with pity.

She said, "Poor kid."

——From then on, his mother stayed out at night, and his father was drunk all day long.

Such two people did not get divorced or separated. On the contrary, when Jiang Wenluo was eight years old, they gave birth to another little boy.

That little boy regained his father's love, got the heroic story that he told Jiang Wenluo before, accompanied by occasional care from a woman.

Jiang Wenluo became a fringe person through and through.

He took the paper with full marks and handed it to his father in favor, "Dad, Dad." He wanted the man to touch his head like before, but the man stopped looking at him and tried his best to restrain himself to Jiang Wenluo. disgust.

No one in the family loved him, and after school, his classmates would exclude him and give him ugly nicknames, calling him "little monster" and "ugly monster".

For Jiang Wenluo, this was a nightmare that lasted for more than twenty years.Although the family of four lives under the same roof, he is used to living alone. When he gets sick, he finds medicine by himself.

After Jiang Wenluo grew up, he no longer remembered what it was like to be loved before the age of four.

Even when memories from before the age of four occasionally appeared in front of him, he still wondered if it was his own imagination.

Anyway, he was used to it, Jiang Wenluo felt that even if he lived like this for the rest of his life, there would be nothing wrong with it, he must live, right?

If counting from the time when his consciousness was clear, the first ray of light in his life appeared when he met Liang Yaowen.

Having been in love with Liang Yaowen for a long time, Jiang Wenluo can clearly recall every detail of their relationship.Under the sun, Liang Yaowen held his hand and turned his head to look at him intently. Liang Yaowen kissed him for the first time, on his forehead and cheek.

The first time I dated Liang Yaowen, I ate at a delicious western restaurant. On that day, Liang Yaowen was wearing a dark gray trench coat and looked at him obsessively at the table.

"Why don't you eat it?" Jiang Wenluo blushed and looked up at him cautiously, "I think it's quite delicious."

Liang Yaowen looked at the dinner in front of him indifferently, and said to Jiang Wenluo, "I want to eat you even more."

This is a metaphor that all adults understand.

Jiang Wenluo buried his head very low at once, and whispered, "Okay."

"I'm serious."

"I mean it too."

Jiang Wenluo looked at Liang Yaowen's Adam's apple sliding up and down, and repeated to him: "Okay."

"I'd like to," he said.

No matter what the metaphor of this sentence is.

When Jiang Wenluo looked at Liang Yaowen, he would have a thought: I really love this person, but I still want to work harder, to make Liang Yaowen happier, and it would be nice to really integrate with him.

Liang Yaowen leaned on his chin with one hand and did not respond.

The wicks of the white candles were dancing and shaking, illuminating Jiang Wenluo's ugly cheeks.

"You are so cute." Liang Yaowen said.

"Only if you like me, you will feel this way." Jiang Wenluo was ashamed by his own words, and stuffed the cut steak into his mouth at once, looking like a red hamster.

After dinner, Liang Yaowen took Jiang Wenluo out, and walked hand in hand with him by the river. The reeds were not far away, and there was a small boat floating on the river.

Jiang Wenluo was courageous, clasped his fingers tightly with him, and leaned his head lightly on Liang Yaowen's shoulder.

"Look at that ship—" Liang Yaowen raised his finger, "Human consciousness is actually like riding on a ship, floating and can be easily torn apart by wind and waves." He lowered his eyes again, expressionlessly Looking at Jiang Wenluo.

Under the magnolia tree, Jiang Wenluo looked up at him. After a long while, he raised his face, closed his eyes, and asked Liang Yaowen for a kiss in a reserved and shy manner.

Liang Yaowen hugged his waist and happily kissed his lips.

When Jiang Wenluo wanted to open his eyes, he felt Liang Yaowen kissing his scarred eyes again.

And his ugly profile.

Jiang Wenluo's heart was full all of a sudden, and being held in Liang Yaowen's arms relyingly, he turned his ugly face to the side and was speechless for a long time.

"If one day." Liang Yaowen's words echoed in his ears.

He said, "You saw this ship, remember not to be silent in it, you have to think of me and call my name."

"Whether it's making a sound or saying it silently in my heart, it doesn't matter, I will know."

"Jiang Wenluo, you must let me pull you ashore."

"Believe me."

The words seemed abrupt then.

——At this moment, Jiang Wenluo who was on the boat opened his eyes suddenly, tears streaming down his face unconsciously, and he silently gave the same answer as before: "Okay."

He stood at the bow, looking behind——

Behind him is the dark and depressed river.

"Liang Yaowen..." Jiang Wenluo raised his head, looked at the boundless darkness ahead, and repeated, "Liang Yaowen—"

"I miss you... I want you to take me out." Jiang Wenluo choked up and said.

After finishing the words, a unique light appeared in front of Jiang Wenluo's eyes.

The boat came to an end without warning.

Jiang Wenluo's fingers trembled. He wiped his face, calmed his breathing, and finally stepped forward firmly.

His feet hit the ground.

The scene immediately changed before his eyes, and noisy voices appeared in his ears.

Jiang Wenluo actually heard a shout in his ear: "Cheng Yun!"

The author has something to say: sorry for a little stream of consciousness x

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