[Comprehensive] God's joke

"You two, it's been a month, why have you been following me?" Kong Lan looked back helplessly, sighed, and the voice from under the mask was a bit muffled: "I'm still practicing!"

Yun Tianqing folded his arms and smiled: "Huh? We just walked the same road, right?"

"...Okay, let's go together. It's better to go faster, this place is not suitable for overnight stay." Kong Lan turned his head and walked away quickly, and the lame leg that had been hidden very well was suddenly revealed in the eyes of the two of them.

Fang Xiao frowned: "Your legs?"

"It's been fine for a long time. The sequelae of the broken and not treated in time, it doesn't make any difference - I didn't know any spells before I came to the world, so I can only go to Qionghua to learn art." Kong Lan shrugged indifferently. .

"Eh? That Qionghua sect collects monsters? It seems that this sect is not bad!" Yun Tianqing leaned over and said.

"How is it possible!" Kong Lan's eyes widened, and he waved his hands again and again, "I haven't revealed my demon blood in the human world! Otherwise, I would have been chased and killed long ago!"

"You are such a beautiful and kind-hearted monster, I am reluctant to kill you!" Yun Tianqing said with a smile.

Chatting all the way, it was already dark when they came to a place suitable for camping, and asked the two men to go hunting. Kong Lan picked up firewood to make a good fire, and turned on the system that had been blocked since saving Fang Xiaoyun and Tianqing.

"Ding! The side mission - save Qingxiao (completed)! The main mission is open! The main mission - get to know Qingxiao, and the favorability has reached [-] points."

"Ding! The main task-acquaintance with Qing Xiao is completed! Open the friend column. The main task-guid Qing Xiao to join the Qionghua Sect (not completed)."

Kong Lan rubbed her chin, and asked curiously: "System, do you exist to change the plot or follow the plot?"

"Sorry, your input is wrong, the system cannot recognize it, please re-enter."

"If it fits the plot, that Fang Xiao, who became Xuan Xiao's boy after getting started, seems to have been changed by me? What should I do?"

"Sorry, your input is wrong, the system cannot recognize it, please re-enter."

Kong Lan became melancholy: "Could it be...you have been unwilling to talk to me all this time?"

The system was silent for a while, then said coldly: "No more blocking."

Kong Lan's melancholy look immediately flew away: "So you are angry! So the Lord System cares so much about me? I'm so happy!"

The system suddenly felt that the soft-hearted me just now was an idiot!The biggest idiot in the world! !Why on earth would he think that this guy whose heartless thought frequency breaks through the sky would be worried!Yu!Disaster!Pass!since!responsibility!recognize!wrong!ah!

Afterwards, no matter how much Kong Lan teased the system, she resolutely stopped talking.

snort!This system is not arrogant!

After molesting the system, Kong Lan felt refreshed (hey), and Yun Tianqing and Fang Xiao also came with their prey, such as pheasants and hares.

Yun Tianqing put the things beside Kong Lan and asked curiously: "Since the law of heaven is equal, what should we do about eating? I will be sentenced to 200 years for killing a chicken? Wow! Isn't it that I should be punished too?" Imprisoned for thousands of years?"

"Those who were reduced to the animal way in their previous lives were those who were not enough to be hacked into pieces, but had enough crimes, and were reduced to the food of the mouth to pay for their sins." Kong Lan suddenly fell into a trance as he spoke, and giggled: "Ah, so Can you still eat it? Maybe the rabbit we roasted in our hands was a human in its previous life~!"

Yun Tianqing shook her hand, and the rabbit leg she had just torn off was thrown into the fire, her face was blue and white, it was really pretty.

Fang Xiao calmly turned the roasted charred rabbit over, and said in a deep voice, "Don't be kidding."

Kong Lan curled her lips: "The truth~! All kinds of sins are repaid and repaid, who can explain clearly except the way of heaven? It's better not to think about anything and live according to your own will! Hurry up, eat !"

Yun Tianqing struggled for a moment, then smiled: "That's true, I don't know what my life will be like until the end, so I'd better take advantage of the present and live it according to my heart~! It will be fine if you have a clear conscience." Then he was very natural He tore up half of the whole chicken that Kong Lan had just roasted and stuffed it into his mouth: "Kong Lan, you are really good at cooking! Whoever marries you is lucky!"

Kong Lan scratched her head and smirked: "Really? To tell you the truth, I also think that whoever marries me will be very lucky!"

"Cough, cough, cough!" Yun Tianqing was almost stuck to death by the chicken bone, after coughing for a long time, he regained his breath, and said dumbfoundedly, "Are you going to boast so much?"

Kong Lan looked at him innocently and purely: "Huh? Didn't you praise me? Fang Xiao, are you right?"

Fang Xiao silently moved a seat to the side, away from these two bastards whose IQ suddenly dropped.

"Sitting so far away will make you overheated." Kong Lan said.

"It's okay." Fang Xiao silently tore off a piece of the scorched rabbit, but before he put it in his mouth, the rabbit meat in his hand was gone, replaced by half a roasted chicken, the crisp girlish voice It sounded in my ears: "Compared with chicken, I still prefer half-raw rabbit meat, this is for you~!"

Fang Xiao raised his eyes, and the lively monster girl had already sat back beside the fire, and the girl had already eaten a big piece of the charred rabbit he roasted, and the handsome young man in Tsing-cloth smiled lazily and beckoned him to sit down.The orange flames were dancing, making everyone's figures so warm.

With vermilion lines on his forehead, the young man who had always been as cold as ice, finally had a touch of warmth in his eyes at this moment.

Seeing the young man who sat down again without a trace, Kong Lan sighed in his heart, no matter what the future holds, these two people are still only 15-year-old boys!

"By the way, why are you two in Nvluoyan? If I didn't know where to go after practicing, I'm afraid you would have died there!" Ordinary Taoist priests would kill monsters that had already given off a foul smell. However, people who are infested by filth are prone to resentment, which is not good for the practice or the future path.

"That's right, Brother Fang Xiao doesn't look like the kind of person who would wander around." Yun Tianqing looked over gossipingly.

"...Homeless people are just wandering around." Fang Xiao obviously didn't want to talk more.

Kong Lan didn't ask much, and turned to look at Yun Tianqing: "What about you?"

"Ah~! Bad luck, originally I heard from Liu Shifeng, the new county magistrate of Shouyang, that there are some exotic flowers and plants on Nvluoyan that can be sold for wine, but I didn't expect..." Yun Tianqing's face was mournful and sad. The expression shook his head again and again.

Kong Lan's eyes lit up immediately: "You also love wine?"

"Also?!" Yun Tianqing keenly caught the implication of Kong Lan's words: "Could it be..."

The monster girl had a wicked smile on her face, she took out a gourd from the cloth bag at her waist, and said, "Hey hey hey hey hey hey..."

"This?! Could it be—?! It's the legendary—?!" Surprised, exclaimed, surprised.

"No ~ yes ~ wrong ~ oh ~!" Wretched, wretched, wretched.

Fang Xiao felt that he was so close to the fire that he was about to get into the fire, but he still felt a deep chill, and couldn't help but silently moved away from the two bastards over there again.

A pair of star-eyed teenagers excitedly opened the gourd lid with a solemn and sacred expression of reverence, and a scent of wine slightly mixed with the scent of sweet-scented osmanthus came out. Yun Tianqing quickly took a deep breath, smelling the wine and was deeply intoxicated: " Oh~! That’s how it feels~!”

Kong Lan picked up the wine gourd and poured it into her mouth, and the elegant fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus wine remained in her mouth. She narrowed her eyes happily: "Oh~! That's the taste~!"

Yun Tian waited greedily for her to finish drinking, and couldn't wait to snatch the gourd. After drinking, his eyes lit up: "Good wine! Fang Xiao, you come too!"

"No need..." Fang Xiao frowned, and before he finished speaking, he saw a black shadow coming towards him. When he stepped back, he realized that it was a wine gourd. He quickly reached out to catch it, but some of the wine still poured into the fire In the middle, sparks splashed.

"Man, what are you afraid of if you drink some wine? You didn't expect Kong Lan to drink too?" Yun Tianqing smirked.

"Yes, yes, this taste is very good, very light and not drunk." Kong Lan also smirked.

Well, those who don't know how to get drunk are just fooling people. Yun Tianqing and Kong Lan reached a tacit understanding when they just drank - get Fang Xiao drunk!Think about it, what a sense of accomplishment it is to see a handsome Bingshan abstinence guy suddenly become a bastard...

Fang Xiao looked at the expectant eyes of the two, and finally took a sip of wine with a cold face. The light taste dilutes the smell of meat in his mouth, and his expression slightly eased.

Facts have proved that pouring Brother Xiao down is a very unscientific thing!

Fang Xiao just realized that his mind was a little dull from drinking, so he stopped drinking and continued to drink, and the two idiots over there, one is a new body and the alcohol capacity has not been trained, and the other is still young, already drunk to the point of intoxication , The enthusiasm for grabbing the wine gourd reminded Fang Xiao inexplicably that when he passed by the village before, he saw two little dogs jostling for favor inside...

Fang Xiao silently handed the wine gourd to Yun Tianqing who was asking for wine, and it was wrong to criticize himself for slandering his companions like this.

After taking the last sip of wine, Yun Tianqing's eyes straightened, showing a happy smile of "Sajia's life is worth it", slowly prostrated himself under Fang Xiao's white robe, then hugged his feet and put them under his head as a pillow , Fang Xiao kicked him away calmly and lightly.

Kong Lan is completely sober and calm in her heart, and she has never drank alcohol but shares the same body system with Kong Lan. She has already sang "Flying Freely" in her head, and went to "Qinghai-Tibet Plateau" out of tune, and even added a few lines Qiong Yao's love words, which are quite European and American, did not make her sick.

Please ignore the fact that she hugged Fang Xiao's thigh and cried more miserable than her dead father...

So when Tianlan and Yuntian Qingmeimei woke up after a nap the next day, they saw Fang Xiao's pale complexion and dark circles around his eyes, and his whole body exuding the air-conditioning of "I'm very upset", that's understandable~!These days, are you allowed to be drunk and not allow the harassed people to be sulky?

Kong Lan coughed seriously: "Well, let's continue to slay demons!" Then she ran away with cold eyes - she felt that Fang Xiao was about to go crazy!

Yesterday Yun Tianqing did make a very good proposal, which was to exchange some herbs for money.

"By the way, Tianqing, did you hear about looking for herbs in Bagong Mountain, or Nvluoyan?" Kong Lan suddenly thought that Nvluoyan was full of monsters!Most of them are the kind of monsters who have a strong sense of territory and are full of hostility towards human beings. However, they cannot enter the demon world because they cannot have a sense of normalcy, just like people who blindly kill monsters and eliminate demons without distinguishing between good and evil cannot cultivate into immortals.

'The way of heaven is telling us that racial discrimination is outrageous~! Kong Lan sighed inwardly.

But it was also because of his hostility that Nie Yan appeared here, right?Fortunately, Yun Tianqing and Fang Xiao were only at the entrance of Nvluoyan, if they went inside, Kong Lan would not be able to find them.

Yun Tianqing tried hard to recall: "Oh, let me go to Nvluoyan to gather herbs. They said that although it is dangerous there, there is a kind of herb worth ten gold..."

Fang Xiao said coldly: "You were still drinking when I met you, maybe you are so drunk that you can't tell the difference!"

Kong Lan and Yun Tianqing looked him up and down with amazed eyes at the same time, Kong Lan said: "So you can say more than ten words in one sentence! It's so shocking!"

Fang Xiao's face darkened, he flicked his sleeves and scolded angrily: "Nonsense!" He turned and left.

"Hey, shake your sleeves again, it's very imposing! It looks much more handsome than master and senior brother!" Kong Lan limped after him, and said very weakly, as if he couldn't feel Fang Xiao at all. The cold air emanating from his body.

Yun Tianqing followed behind and wiped his sweat silently, um...he wouldn't collect the corpse for this monster girl, would he?a ha ha ha……

After arguing for a while, Kong Lan continued: "The cave plants at the entrance of Nvluoyan are baptized by the evil spirit in the cave, and are of limited benefit to humans. Who would need this kind of herbal medicine? Are you deceived?"

Yun Tianqing frowned suddenly, trying to recall: "I remember Liu Shifeng told me that from there, you can find a thing called Li Xiangcao, which has the effect of calming the mind."

"Li Vanilla? This is the food of the Huai Yao, and it is also planted by the Huai Yao. It is true that rubbing it into incense and lighting it will calm the mind, but if it is used for medicine, it is a healing medicine, and it is also effective for the primordial spirit. With the majority of Huai Yao Living in seclusion, Li vanilla is becoming rarer and rarer in the world now, so it's hard for anyone to know that it exists here." Kong Lan frowned: "What is the origin of that Liu Shifeng?"

"He is the magistrate of Shouyang County. On the way, I met him who was robbed and saved his life. He asked me to help find this herb. He is willing to buy it at a high price."

"I always feel a little weird..."

"No matter what the other party wants, just look at it." Fang Xiao said.

"It just so happens that I have some li vanilla here, let's go to Shouyang."

——Shouyang City——

As soon as Yun Tianqing entered the city gate, his sensitive nose immediately smelled the smell of sweet-scented osmanthus wine, and his face suddenly became intoxicated, and he said in a dreamy tone: "I smell the smell of fine wine! You talk slowly and work hard. Let's talk, don't worry about me! Oh oh oh oh oh..."

Kong Lan trembled when he heard the weird laughter, touched the money in his pocket, and turned his head to show a bright and loving smile, but luckily it was blocked by the mask, otherwise it would scare people to death: "Fang Xiao..."

The veins on Fang Xiao's forehead twitched, and he interrupted coldly: "Let's go."

"Eh?"

"Buy wine." Fang Xiao looked sideways at the monster girl wearing a mask, her handsome but stern eyebrows were somewhat blurred under the backlight, which actually gave people the illusion that his iceberg face had thawed.

Kong Lan raised her hands high and cheered, and ran to the wine shop, her wobbly back looked so clumsy, yet so cute.

But soon Fang Xiao didn't think so.

"Hey, don't grab my gourd! Get it yourself! Boss, I want sweet-scented osmanthus wine!"

"Don't be so stingy. After all, you and I are companions who share life and death together. What's the big deal about borrowing a gourd? Boss, don't listen to her, get a good Zhuyeqing!"

"No, no, no! Osmanthus wine, I want osmanthus wine!"

"Bamboo Leaf Green!"

The boss looked at the two people crowded in front of the window where he was drinking, and sighed helplessly: "You two, what kind of wine do you want?"

"Osmanthus wine!" "Zhuyeqing!" They stared at each other!

Fang Xiao stood gloomily behind the two of them with the blue veins on his forehead: "You guys, give it to me, right! Yes! And! Stop!"

The cold wind was howling, the ice and snow, the two bastards shivered at the same time, Kong Lan turned her head first: "Okay, I don't want the sweet-scented osmanthus wine, but I can't want the green bamboo leaves either!"

"Okay, then come to Fen Bar? The small shop Fen Liquor has a long-lasting fragrance. It has a long mouthfeel, a sweet aftertaste, a lingering aftertaste, and a long aftertaste. How are you two guests?"

"Then come to Fen Bar, here is the money." Yun Tianqing handed over the money before Kong Lan, and Kong Lan didn't snatch it from him.

The two took the wine, and quickly gestured to Fang Xiao with flattering smiles. Fang Xiao gave the two of them a cold look, then turned and walked towards the government office.

Kong Lan has loved wine for thousands of years, she can do whatever she likes, only the gourd that holds the wine is made of top-quality Lingyu, and the wine will be more fragrant and mellow, which is why Yun Tianqingfei and her use a gourd.In other words, this is a veteran alcoholic.

Liu Shifeng, in the eyes of all Xiansi players, should be a kind, fat, cute old man, and Aunt Liu is also a kind, gentle and amiable wife, although these two are a bit talkative...

But when Kong Lan first saw Liu Shifeng, she felt that the way she blinked just now must be wrong.

What a cheat!Who is this gloomy fat man!The stiff and rigid smiling face hides something sinister and sinister, and the expression is so gloomy!Even if you are a ghost, you can be more dedicated to your work!Don't be so perfunctory, okay!Rein in the ghost energy!

"So it's little brother Yun, did you bring Li Xiangcao?" Liu Shifeng went straight to the point when they met.

Kong Lan silently patted Li Xiangcao in Yun Tianqing's hand.

"Good! Good! Good! Hahahaha!" Liu Shifeng looked up to the sky and laughed loudly, waving his hands: "Come here, hand over the silver tael to little brother Yun. Brother Yun, I have urgent needs to get away the vanilla right now, so I can't keep it any longer." You, when the matter is resolved tomorrow, I will talk to you about the old days, okay?"

"It's okay, you are busy with your work, alas~! But I am exhausted, Brother Fang Xiao, Kong Lan, let's go, go to bed at the inn~!" Yun Tianqing stretched his waist and greeted the two of them Let's leave Liufu together.

A sneer suddenly crossed Liu Shifeng's gloomy, fat face.