last love

Wen Ke stared blankly at Xu Jiale, but didn't know how to comfort her for a while.

He is an Omega, with Omega's difficulties, Omega's confusion and pain.

But he seldom thought about experiencing Alpha's thoughts——

I learned Lu Xun’s words in Chinese class in middle and high school, “The sorrows and joys of human beings are not interlinked.” At that time, he was too young to understand the meaning of this sentence, but now he finally understands a little bit.

"Wen Ke, I started studying anthropology as an undergraduate, and then specialized in the study of AO bisexuality. I am an out-and-out expert in this field-but I still lose in the emotional world in a mess."

Xu Jiale did not continue to talk about Jin Chu, but patted Wen Ke on the back of the hand: "So failure is normal, whether it is career failure or marriage failure, it is too normal. You look out from this window, Ninety-nine out of [-] people have been losers, and that's no big deal."

Wen Ke subconsciously glanced out the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the pouring rain made the lights of Wanjia in the night seem ethereal and swaying.

He suddenly realized that behind every little light was a family.

Perhaps at this time, someone was divorced and someone was born.

"But Wen Ke, you still have to be careful about the glands."

Xu Jiale continued: "Less than [-]% of A and O in this world have a very late differentiation period. Some scholars have done research, and the self and gender identity of this part of people often appear to be different from others. It's more confusing. I speculated a bit later, you know, the differentiation period of Omega and Alpha is basically synchronized with puberty, which is a very important period-it is the second leap of self-awareness in the process of human growth Expect.

"During this period of time, the rapid physical development will cause the adolescent's psychological state to be in a disordered stage, and it will gradually stabilize after puberty. But the differentiation is too late and it will cause a problem. When your internal self-identity has already When it settles down, all of a sudden—the gender changes, everything changes, you don’t know who you really are, and that’s where the identity confusion comes from.”

Wen Ke nodded, his life was more than chaos.

When she learned that she was an Omega, it was accompanied by the contempt and disgust of the person she cared about the most.

Since then, he has fallen into a long, long-term depression.

He has never been really relieved, not referring to Han Jiangque's attitude, but referring to the fact that he is an Omega, it seems like a long-standing mistake.

Xu Jiale pushed the gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose: "Wen Ke, you have never been a Beta, you just differentiated late. Removing the glands doesn't mean you can become a Beta, and it doesn't mean you won't have troubles from now on. - I think more importantly, you should learn to face yourself and accept yourself."

Wen Ke stared blankly at Xu Jiale, feeling something in his heart was suddenly touched.

He suddenly thought of the last time he saw Han Jiangque——

Han Jiangque also said similar things, saying that over the years, he has learned to accept himself.

But what an excellent Alpha he is, what can't be accepted by such a "self".

In fact, it is very strange to think about it. After ten years, they are all men who are nearly 30 years old, but at this age, they still think about the same problem persistently. Is this a common problem in everyone’s mind? ?

How amazing is it to accept yourself?

Thinking about it, Wen Ke couldn't help being a little dazed.

At this time, Xu Jiale stood up, stretched lazily, and patted Wen Ke on the shoulder. His pheromone was grade A, and the faint mint smell was very refreshing.

"Now I'm going to bed, and you are responsible for cleaning up this pile of things. Because I just gave you a voluntary psychological consultation. Oh, by the way, if you feel unwell at night when you are weak, remember to call me."

……

After a night of torrential rain, the weather suddenly cleared up early the next morning.

Wen Ke stayed in bed for a while, which was rare, and he opened the window wider, smelling the moist and fresh rain in the morning breeze, and lay down for a while with his mind empty.

Sometimes it's good to be in a daze. There are still too many things to clarify in his life. Even if he is in a daze, it seems to be a process of slowly clarifying.

I don't know how long it took before I remembered to take out my phone from under the pillow to check the time, but I didn't expect that there were two unread messages from Han Jiangque.

Wen Ke, are you awake?

I'll wait for you outside your house.

There was about 10 minutes between the two messages, and the latter one was sent five or ten minutes ago.

Wen Ke was shocked and sat up suddenly from the bed.

He was in a daze, he ran out of the room and was about to open the door, but then he remembered something, turned his head and rushed into the bathroom, brushed his teeth quickly and wiped water on his face indiscriminately, making sure he After looking passable, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

Han Jiangque was standing in the elevator room.

He was wearing a white casual suit jacket very formally, his light blue shirt was ironed perfectly, and he was holding a folder in his hand.

"You, have you been waiting for a long time?"

Wen Ke couldn't help stuttering when she opened her mouth: "I got up late and didn't see the message, why...why didn't you make a call?"

"I know."

Han Jiangque came over and added: "I know you are sleeping, so I didn't call."

The two of them stood face to face at the door for a while, and finally Wen Ke spoke first: "Han Jiangque, have you ever looked for Zhuo Yuan?"

"Ah."

"Actually, it's not necessary." Wen Ke said hastily, "I can handle the divorce myself, really."

He said something, seeing that Han Jiangque didn't intend to respond, so he had no choice but to continue like this: "Yesterday...you said you had something to do with me?"

"En." Han Jiangque responded briefly again, but there was no more to say.

Wen Ke raised his head suspiciously: "Han Jiangque?"

Perhaps it was because the Han Jiang Que was too high, so it blocked the light coming in from the windows of the elevator.

In the mottled backlight shadow, all the colors become monotonous, so the beauty of the outline of his facial features is almost displayed to the extreme.

Elegant and high eyebrows, straight and straight nose, if the world is only black and white, then his pupils are the most extreme black.

But Han Jiangque's expression was almost nervous, his thin lips were pursed downward, he hesitated for a long time, and finally said slowly: "You said last time that you don't want to be with me anymore, is that true? "

"I……"

Wen Ke opened his lips blankly.

it is true.

Wen Ke thought he should say so.

"Wen Ke, don't you like me?"

Han Jiangque asked softly.

Wen Ke still gritted her teeth and didn't answer.

Han Jiangque didn't get a reply for a long time, and the light in his eyes gradually became lost. He lowered his eyes and was quiet for a while.

he got hurt.

Wen Ke thought of this, and suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart.

Even though Han Jiangque didn't say anything, even his expression didn't change, but he knew he was hurt.

Han Jiangque is a wounded, lonely little beast longing for love.

He has always known.

Even at an age where he is very ignorant of everything, he can always intuitively perceive Han Jiangque's fragility and needs——

At that moment, he seemed to be thrown into his youth again.

The young Han Jiangque was sitting at the door of his house with his knees hugged. He still had a red scarf hanging crookedly around his neck. He raised his head and asked him, "Wen Ke, let's run away. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go home either."

High school students don’t need to wear red scarves anymore, but Han Jiangque got into fights at school again in three days, so the dean tied it up for him personally, saying that he should be treated like elementary school students, so let him wear it for a week, so that other students can also see it .

It was summer at that time, and on Han Jiangque's exposed arm under his short-sleeved shirt, there were streaks of purple-red beating marks.

Wen Ke stood in front of Han Jiangque hesitantly, he was very flustered, he was a good student, good students always think a lot, thinking - where are they going to escape.

Seeing that he was silent, Han Jiangque stood up and said stubbornly, "Then I will go by myself."

So Wen Ke rushed up and grabbed his arm. He remembered saying, "Let's go see the sea, Han Jiangque."

In the swaying and hesitant night, the two teenagers fled in a hurry.

He was riding an old bicycle, and the wheels made a screeching sound when it turned around. Han Jiangque sat on the back seat and hugged his waist, drinking a bottle of ice soda.

On that long tree-lined avenue, Wen Ke let go of the handlebar, opened his hands, and let the sweltering summer wind blow on his face.

A bright red scarf flew up suddenly, twirled twice in the wind, and then drifted away without a trace.

Han Jiangque asked, "Wen Ke, how far is it from the sea?"

He said, soon.

"Wen Ke, how long will it be before summer ends?"

Han Jiangque leaned his face against his sweaty back and asked in a low voice.

He thought, soon too.

They'll see the sea, and summer will be over.

……

Wen Ke's eyes suddenly became wet, and the overwhelming emotion for the person in front of him swept him away again.

Of course he liked him, too much.

But until now, he still maintains such a strong liking, which is simply unbearable for him.

"Han Jiangque, why...?"

He twitched his nose, raised his head with red eyes: "Ten years ago, didn't you hate me as soon as you found out that I was an Omega? Didn't you even want to talk to me? Why are you coming back to ask these now? You Back then, didn't you really know how much I liked you? Did you respond to me?"

Wen Ke helped the door of the house——

He still said it to Han Jiangque.

No matter how many times he told himself, he didn't blame Han Jiangque.

But this is actually impossible.

He cared too much, caring that this hurdle almost never passed.

After the reunion, he repeatedly emphasized that they had grown up, but it turned out that he himself had never been relieved.

He liked Han Jiangque so much, he tried his best to like him.

He is also very young, but he still protected Han Jiangque with his instinct for three full years.

But why, when he needed support the most, Han Jiangque refused to give him the same protection.

"I'm sorry Wen Ke, I'm sorry."

Han Jiangque's fingers trembled slightly, he took out a picture from the folder, and handed it to Wen Ke.

"I drew this picture—"

He lowered his head, like a child who has done something wrong, and whispered: "The day you were in heat, I took this painting with me when I went to find you—I just didn't expect Zhuo Yuan to be there. The painting was crumpled into a ball and I wanted to throw it away, but I still couldn’t bear it later, so I kept it until today.”

Wen Ke lowered his head, and the drawing paper in his hand was a little yellowed and crumpled. It was obviously crumpled and then flattened patiently, and preserved for a long time.

On it is an ugly drawing painted with colored crayons.

An ugly giraffe almost as tall as the sky.

A little boy hangs from the giraffe's neck and ties it with a pink heart-shaped bow.

"I like you too."

Han Jiangque looked straight at her with dark eyes, and there was a hint of pain hidden in his eyes: "I don't hate you, Wen Ke, I fell in love with you ten years ago."