last love

When Xu Jiale opened the door and came back, he smelled a smell of smoke keenly. He didn't find Wen Ke at first. After scanning the living room twice, he saw Wen Ke curled up on the floor in the small corner next to the sofa. .

Wen Ke only wore one slipper, the other slipper was kicked aside, and his head was buried between his knees.

The glass ashtray next to the slender and pale soles was full of cigarette butts, and an empty beer can was lying crookedly on the ground, showing a dejected look.

Xu Jiale was also taken aback for a moment.

The Wen Ke he knew had always been amazingly resilient. Even if it was such a big blow from divorce, he could still face it with a calm and restrained attitude. This was the first time Xu Jiale had seen Wen Ke give up on himself in so many years.

"Hey……"

Xu Jiale walked over and squatted down, and found that Wen Ke was holding two pieces of drawing paper tightly in his hand. Before he could take a closer look, he patted Wen Ke on the shoulder first, hesitated for a moment before saying: "I just came in I saw Han Jiangque in the elevator before, and when he saw me coming back, he left without saying anything."

Wen Ke raised his head from between his knees, his hair curled up a few bunches, his eyes were a little dull: "He was still there before you came in?"

After he finished asking, he fumbled to light a cigarette again without waiting for an answer.

"Damn Wen Ke, you have to smoke all my cigarettes - if you want to smoke, buy it yourself, don't take advantage of me, an unemployed person."

Xu Jiale's expression was exaggerated and authentic. Seeing that Wen Ke didn't respond to his joke, he could only sigh, and sat side by side with Wen Ke on the ground: "Should I say——Actually, I know you liked Han Jiangque. Just know."

"I know you do."

Wen Ke's voice was very low.

After he was with Zhuo Yuan in high school, only Xu Jiale asked him indifferently, "Have you really thought about it?"

Xu Jiale never talked too much, and he seemed too lazy to gossip about other people's emotions, but his insight was so sharp that it was terrifying.

"Looking at the way you look today, you haven't reached an agreement."

Xu Jiale asked directly: "Is it because you don't want to? Just now I saw Han Jiangque's appearance outside the door was lost, as if he had lost his love for the first time. But you don't think you don't like him at all, do you?"

Wen Ke couldn't answer, so he lit the lighter with trembling fingers, but failed to hold down the lighter with a "click", and tried again, but it still failed.

"Xu Jiale, I don't know what to do."

Wen Ke finally spoke. He grabbed the almost empty cigarette case and smiled miserably: "My heart is in a mess, it's so uncomfortable, even thinking of his name..."

"If it's a mess, it's not difficult to sort things out a little bit."

Xu Jiale neatly took the cigarette case and wine bottle aside, sorted out a clean area, then sat down solemnly opposite Wen Ke, and asked, "I'll start with the most basic and most important question, Wen Ke ——Do you still like Han Jiangque?"

Wen Ke was stunned.

Perhaps this question was too straightforward, and he was silent for a long time before hesitatingly said: "Ten years ago, I really liked Han Jiangque, and you, you all knew it."

"But I'm asking now."

"It's been ten years now, and I think... I, Han Jiangque, and I shouldn't cling to the past anymore. And..."

"Wen Ke, I didn't ask if I should."

Xu Jiale interrupted him unceremoniously again.

Wen Ke's lips trembled, but he continued with all his strength: "And at this point in time, I have just divorced Zhuo Yuan, and I am with Han Jiangque. It seems that I can't do it. He said, if there is If it’s stressful, even if we’re not really together, it’s fine to spend the estrus with him just like being his client, but I, I..."

Xu Jiale pushed his glasses: "Wen Ke, why do you think this time is special? Shouldn't you be more free after divorce? He didn't even put any pressure on you."

"because……"

Wen Ke found that he couldn't help but follow Xu Jiale's way of thinking. He thought for a while, and finally his expression gradually became depressed: "Because, I am not as good as I was ten years ago. I am a failure and mediocre... Wen Ke, whom he fell in love with back then, Not who I am now."

When he said this, he buried his face between his knees again. After a long, long time, he finally said the words in his heart almost to himself: "I'm not good enough for him."

"I've been marked, Xu Jiale, I think, I..." Wen Ke almost squeezed out a few words between his teeth: "I seem to be dirty, and I seem to have depreciated."

After he finished speaking, his shoulders couldn't help shaking violently.

"Hold."

After a while, Wen Ke said suddenly.

Sad and irritable, he punched the sofa heavily. He raised his voice, but repeated it with a weaker expression: "Fuck."

Xu Jiale was a little surprised, and a trace of distress flashed in his eyes.

Since the two of them met, Wen Ke has been an obedient and good student. He has never heard Wen Ke scold anyone. The sudden burst of dirty words at this time seems to be a kind of breakdown, and it also seems like a kind of Jedi anger.

"Wen Ke, you have not depreciated, and you never will."

Xu Jiale said seriously.

Like a drowning man grabbing a straw, Wen Ke silently nodded vigorously.

Of course he knows how people depreciate.

People are not objects, not currency.

He shouldn't have thought this way.

But there was a surge of anger and pain from the bottom of my heart——

for himself.

He has never been an ignorant and weak Omega. He is smart, hardworking, educated, and he once believed that he could create wealth and value in his own life.

But the words he said now had really been rooted in some dirt-filled corners of his heart at some point.

In the Zhuo family's repeated and tough demands on fertility, in the value emphasized and instilled time and time again by the outside world.

He is domesticated.

Even he himself began to feel that his value lies in the glands at the back of his neck, in being healthy and fertile, in giving the most complete self to an Alpha.

Xu Jiale suddenly reached out and pressed Wen Ke's shoulder. He was always lazy, but his expression was serious at this time: "Wen Ke, your problem is that you always use your brain to think about everything. Use your brain to deal with everything. Of course it’s a good thing, it can make people sober. But the answers to some things in life flow out from your heart, it just depends on whether you are willing to face it. What is your value, don’t let others tell you. You The confusion now arises because you didn’t see what you wanted in your heart, and you ignored your own wishes first. But these can all be changed, and it’s not difficult at all, as long as you are honest.”

"I just asked a very simple question. Do you still like Han Jiangque? Do you want to be with him? So Wen Ke, do you really have no answer in your heart?"

"I..." Wen Ke heard the sound of her nervous heart beating, as if it was about to come out of her chest——

The afterglow of the evening sprinkled on the floor of the new home, it was golden.

……

In the evening, the Beicheng District has not yet started to be noisy, and white-collar workers shuttle through it, some will stay to continue the nightlife, and some will drive home in a hurry.

The B1 floor downstairs of the LM Club is a huge open room with a tall square boxing ring illuminated by the central incandescent lamp.

Some small boxing matches are usually held on weekends, sometimes Western boxing, sometimes Muay Thai.Usually during the day, it will be rented out for interested people to learn boxing, which is considered a relatively niche and high-consumption place in City B.

At this time of evening, the venue should have been closed, but between the four bright red ropes, there was a tall figure in the middle beating the sandbags tirelessly.

The sound of "bang bang bang bang" was heard endlessly. Han Jiangque was naked on the upper body and wearing a pair of fiery red boxer shorts on the lower body. Beads of sweat dripped down his muscular back, making him even more eye-catching under the incandescent light.

I don't know how long it took, but the mechanical punching finally stopped, and Han Jiangque stood there blankly, as if he was thinking about something.

After a while, he threw away his boxing gloves and lay on his back in the middle of the ring with his eyes closed.

When I lay down like this, I felt as if I was back in high school, lying on the red plastic track with Wen Ke, the summer wind was blowing lightly, and time passed by like this.

When Han Jiangque opened his eyes again, he happened to see Fu Xiaoyu, who was wearing a pink casual shirt, had just jumped onto the boxing ring, and then lay down beside him lightly, with the fragrance of flowers on his body rushing to his nostrils.

"I heard from the receptionist that you were boxing alone downstairs—what, are you in a bad mood?"

Fu Xiaoyu turned sideways to look at Han Jiangque, her light brown eyes were quite round, and the distance between them was relatively wide, making her look like a cat, with a kind of blurred feeling.

He is an Omega with A-level advanced pheromone, which means that for Alpha, he is almost irresistible without being marked.

When Han Jiangque first went to the United States to go to college, the two schools were only across the street.

Fu Xiaoyu often came to watch him play basketball by himself, and Han Jiangque always felt that Fu Xiaoyu's smell was too strong and greasy.

Later, Fu Xiaoyu told him that his smell was the floral fragrance of ketone, and he also found a photo of ketone for Han Jiangque——

Big rock ketone really pays Xiaoyu.

The leaves are thick and the corolla is bright and round. The flower language is: gorgeous, desire.

"fine."

Han Jiangque said, "I've given the car keys to your assistant."

"You are very careful."

Fu Xiaoyu smiled: "You want Zhuo Yuan to check my car?"

"He will check your car, at most he will find LM, he will not check anything else, he will only think you are my boss—the Zhuo family is very smart, but Zhuo Yuan may not be."

Han Jiangque said with gloomy eyes: "Zhuo Yuan always thought I was a fool."

"do not you?"

Fu Xiaoyu blinked: "So what did Wen Ke tell you today...?"

"He," Han Jiangque was silent for a while, turned his head away, and said hoarsely, "He doesn't want me."

Han Jiangque's voice sounded a little low.

He wasn't going to lie about dealing with Kohane.

Fu Xiaoyu has been his best partner and friend from college to graduation.

After a while, Han Jiangque sat up, and he continued as if answering himself: "It's okay, I can wait."

"Han Jiang Que,"

Fu Xiaoyu also sat up immediately. He looked into Han Jiangque's eyes, paused for a moment, and then asked with a relaxed expression, "Wen Ke is so good in the end? Does he look like that? I've seen photos. Although she is very pretty, she seems It’s not very good-looking. Or is it a very good personality that you can remember for ten years?”

"Ah."

Han Jiangque responded casually, not knowing what the "um" was responding to, and after a while he said slowly: "Wen Ke is very smart."

Fu Xiaoyu nodded, just when he thought this was the answer——

Han Jiangque suddenly continued: "But Wen Ke is also very stupid sometimes."

Fu Xiaoyu looked at Han Jiangque's expression. Although those narrow and dark eyes seemed to be looking at him, they seemed to see something better through him.

"In my freshman year of high school, I hated Wen Ke very much. He was a good student sent by the teacher to follow me. He babbled nonsense every day. He was more annoying than Tang Monk. He always told him to go away. Once, I was caught by some gangsters outside the school. I was stuck in a small alley asking for money, and I said I had no money—anyway, I was never afraid of fighting, so I just rushed forward and did it."

"There were a lot of people on the other side. I was short at the time, half a head shorter than Wen Ke. Later, I got a little anxious and took out a knife from my trouser pocket to try my best. At this time, Wen Ke appeared out of nowhere. The son threw me down on the muddy ground, and as a result, he blocked me and was beaten and kicked by people around me. After beating for 5 minutes, my arm was broken—”

"Do you think he is a bit annoying. I was about to win, but he hugged me and pressed me there. It's a fucking embarrassment. He doesn't know how to fight. Who wants him to protect me?"

Although Han Jiangque's tone was blunt, when he lowered his eyes, his eyelashes trembled slightly because of a smile.

With such an expression, he was as shy as a young boy in his teens.

"and after……?"

Fu Xiaoyu asked, this is the past that Han Jiangque never mentioned to him.

"Later he went to the hospital to get bandaged, but he didn't say it was because I was fighting, he just said that he was beaten by a bad boy. The school didn't pursue anything. I scolded him for getting in the way, and then said harshly that I brought a knife. Wipe the necks of those trash. Wen Ke lay on the bed, and told me pitifully that it was because he saw my knife that he wanted to rush up. Because I stabbed someone seriously, I might be arrested—— Can't go to school, can't be friends with him."

"Damn it. So later, I drew a picture and gave it to Wen Ke who was in the hospital, as an apology and a thank you - the picture was a giraffe. The picture was ugly on purpose, because I thought...it looked like him."

"Fu Xiaoyu," Han Jiangque raised his head to look over, his eyes seemed to be glowing faintly because of being immersed in memories: "Only Wen Ke has protected me that much."

Fu Xiaoyu looked at Han Jiangque, but didn't say anything for a moment, he thought, Han Jiangque would not give up.

The word love is not mentioned in the whole paragraph, but it probably really is love.

Absurd, and a little ridiculous.

Alpha is born to be strong and aggressive, while Omega is born to be weak, but the relationship between Han Jiangque and Wen Ke seems to be reversed in essence.

Han Jiangque didn't speak any more.

Even after many stories are told, the current mood will still be sealed in my heart forever and ever.

Because no one will understand, even when you secretly recollect it, you will feel sick.

That year, when Wen Ke pressed him on the muddy street and took those heavy fists for him, there was a drop of blood on his face——

Wen Ke's blood.

He was stunned suddenly, and for a moment it seemed that billions of electric currents converged on his body, it was an ignorant throbbing almost like an orgasm.

After that incident, he never refused Wen Ke, a good student, to talk about and follow him.

The Alpha, who was born strong, was protected, so he realized how sweet it is to be protected.

From then on, he fell in love with his protector contrary to nature.

"Han Jiangque...it's my birthday today."

Fu Xiaoyu stood up suddenly. He was tall and slender in Omega. He was dressed in a tailored shirt and trousers, showing off his demeanor even more.

He continued: "I have received your gift, but this is not enough, the old rules, you have to go to the pub with me to dance for a while, you should also relax, how about it?"

"Ah."

Han Jiangque understood Fu Xiaoyu's habits, he took the towel from the rope, and then jumped off the boxing ring: "I'm going to take a shower, see Zeus later."

Zeus is the Pub next door to the LM Club, and he used to occasionally go there for a drink and chat with Fu Xiaoyu.

Just when Han Jiangque was about to walk to the elevator, Fu Xiaoyu suddenly whispered behind him: "Han Jiangque, in fact, in this life...you don't have to love only one person."

Perhaps because the voice was too soft, Han Jiangque turned his head and showed a questioning expression: "What did you say?"

"It's okay." Fu Xiaoyu immediately showed a bright smile: "See you later."

……

Wen Ke stared at the golden spot on the floor.

"I..." He hesitated.

At that moment, the living room of this little new home seemed to become a battlefield where thousands of troops galloped.

It is such a difficult thing to face your true desires.

Xu Jiale just stared at him quietly, neither urging nor anxious.

finally--

"I think."

Wen Ke closed her eyes and said softly.

I want to be with Han Jiangque.

After saying those two words, all the emotions seemed to burst out of the embankment——

He tremblingly asked: "I, but I... should I tell him now, should I, should I wait a little longer?"

"Wait for what?"

Xu Jiale asked.

"I do not know."

Wen Ke's whole mind was in a mess. He seemed to be floating upwards, feeling dangerous and anxious: "Just wait, wait until I get better, settle down, or find a job...I..."

"Wait another ten years? But it's up to you."

Xu Jiale shrugged, and at this time he returned to his lazy look: "28 years old is not young, and 38 years old is not old. You can talk about love whenever you want. Anyway, there is still a risk of failure and a mess. Just lie to yourself again."

When he said this, he took away the drawing paper from Wen Ke's hand, and couldn't help squinting his eyes when he saw it, "It's so ugly, this giraffe. Did Han Jiangque draw it?"

"Yes." Wen Ke blushed a little, and hurriedly snatched it back.

Xu Jiale didn't grab it either, he stretched and stood up, before leaving, he suddenly said meaningfully: "But I think wait a little longer, you are definitely not the saddest one."

"why?"

"The first step in psychological counseling for some factions is to ask people to draw trees. To me, not only trees can explain the problem, but all the recurring picture elements are actually people's psychological projections."

"Look carefully, the two giraffes are almost as high as the sky, the giraffe is you—"

Xu Jiale bent down and tapped the drawing paper with his finger: "Wen Ke, Han Jiangque doesn't just love you."

"He adores you."

Wen Ke was stunned for a moment.

"Also, the time of these two paintings should be different, but he will always look like a five or six-year-old boy in it, which shows that part of his heart has never grown up."

"Sometimes he hugs your neck, sometimes he hides from the rain under your protection-why is it always such a composition, why do you think?"

"He, he relies on me..."

Wen Ke tremblingly leaned on the armrest of the sofa and stood up. Holding the painting in his hand, as if holding a map leading to Han Jiangque's heart, he murmured repeatedly: "He needs me...Han Jiangque You need me to protect him, you need me to love him."

When he said this, he suddenly raised his head: "Xu Jiale, I'm going to find him."

Tears glistened in Wen Ke's eyes.

A cavity of loneliness and courage, in a single thought.

In the eyes of others, this is such an insignificant hesitation, a decision.

But in his heart, it was earth-shattering and earth-shattering.

Love is a rope hanging in mid-air.

At one end is timidity and at the other end is courage.

Only when you have groped and wandered on this rope, can you really see the charming appearance of love.

The giraffe, which had been standing in the wilderness for a long time, finally decided to run hastily tonight——

Just because the beloved teenager really needs him.