[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

By the time Garald realized that something seemed wrong, he had been standing in front of the landlord's door at the end of the corridor, knocking on the door for nearly five minutes.

The apartment Mr. Elf rented was found by Coulson for him. The landlord is a recently retired support staff from S.H.I.E.L.D., a very humorous old man.Although knowing that half of the reason for Coulson's arrangement is to keep track of his movements at any time, it is undeniable that Garald still has a good impression of the landlord himself, and he usually gets along very well.

Therefore, he naturally knew very well that the landlord would generally stay at home at this time, and the faint sound of music coming from the room also proved this.However, when he waited outside the door for almost 5 minutes, but no one responded or came to open the door, Mr. Elf couldn't help but frowned, and couldn't help but suspect that something might have happened inside.

"Mr. William, are you home?"

Finally, he yelled, but still no one answered, but the music coming from the room was louder, like a trap to lure prey into the bait.Garald hesitated for a moment, but still stretched out his hand to grab the doorknob. With a little force, he pushed the door open just like that.

Pulling out from his waist the short knife that the widow in front of the door insisted on bringing, he walked in slowly with his eyes downcast.

There was no sign of anyone in the living room.

The landlord, Mr. William, is a man who likes to keep his house in order, and Garald knows this very well.But now, the otherwise spotless living room is littered with overturned tables and stools, the floor is covered with fragments of glass and whatnot, and the walls are strewn with scattered marks of bullet holes.And beside the TV cabinet, a pool of dry and congealed blood was quietly hidden in the shadow of the corner. Even though a long time had passed, it still faintly smelled of blood, accompanied by the clear sound of music coming from the study. , there is an indescribably weird feeling.

...what the hell.

Looking at everything in front of him, plus the traces that his room had been invaded, Garald couldn't help but associate these two things together.Taking a deep breath, he followed the sound of the music to the half-closed door of the study, listened carefully, and could easily tell that it came from the landlord's old phonograph, with melodious and rhythmic jazz music , with one or two discordant hummings mixed in, although it was quickly covered by the sound of music, it couldn't escape the capture of elves' hearing which is much sharper than that of humans.

Someone is inside.

The moment his brain realized this, Jarod instinctively put the dagger across in front of him, and pushed open the door forcefully.But there wasn't any expected surprise attack or attack, only the wind blowing in from the window came oncoming, blowing a strand of black hair scattered on his temples.

However, the elves did not let down their vigilance.

"who are you?"

Looking at the stranger sitting on the window sill with his back to him, wearing a red and black combat uniform and carrying two long knives behind his back, Jarod couldn't help but frown.

"What? You don't even know me?"

Sitting by the window dangling his legs, he was still scribbling a stick figure.The man turned his head under the vigilant gaze of the elf, with the same red and black hood covering his head, and his tone was exaggerated: "Have you heard of Spider-Man?"

"I've heard of it." Garrod narrowed his eyes, "Are you?"

"Of course - no." Jumping off the window sill, he waved his hands vigorously: "How could I be that little virgin, I am Deadpool, and I have much more experience in life than him."

Before the words fell, it seemed that he remembered something again.He looked up at Garald at the door, twisted his waist, and straightened his hips forward: "I'm talking about experience in this area, elves should understand this too, right?"

"..."

After staying in the 21st century for a long time, I can always understand a lot even if I don’t want to understand some things.Mr. Elf, who had a yellow accent when he met someone, was silent for a few seconds, looking at Deadpool with complicated eyes, but soon, it turned into a more vigilant doubt and fear: "Why do you know that I am an elf?" ?”

"Yeah, why do I know?"

Tilting his head in distress, he glanced back and forth between Garald and the window sill, as if he was thinking hard about the answer, and then suddenly realized: "Look at this."

He held up the stick figure he had just painted casually in his hand.Although the lines are very childish, Garrod can still tell that it is obviously an abstract version of the portrait of Glorfindel in his room, with a golden head wrapped in a green cloak. Peeled oranges.

Garrod: ...

I really want to show it to Lord Jinhua, what should I do.

"You were in my apartment."

The expression on his face was frozen between wanting to laugh and wanting to be angry, and became a little distorted for a while.Mr. Elf was silent for a while, then he clenched his dagger tightly and took a few steps forward, his eyes fixed on the man's red and black hood:

"Why? What do you want to find with me? Where is my landlord now?!"

"So many questions, can't you ask them one by one?"

Glancing at the silver blade with curse patterns engraved in the elf's hand, Deadpool spread his hands and said in a helpless tone: "Someone wants to pay me to find an elf, although I prefer young ladies, but the pretty little brother It also looks nice."

As he said that, he also blew a kiss to Garrod: "As for this apartment, it was already like this when I came here. I don't know where they took that old man."

"Who are they?" The elf pursed his lips, and his eyes gradually turned cold: "Those who sent you here, what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know about that." He shook his finger: "Also, I'm not sent by them, I just want to take a look at the beautiful little brother, who cares what they want to do—"

"So, little brother, come and have fun?"

...Happy mother.

Rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, he just pretended that he didn't hear the last sentence.Garald was too lazy to talk nonsense with him, so he simply slashed at him, intending to teach this guy who broke into other people's houses a lesson first, and then throw it to the black widow, so that professionals can get his words out of his mouth.

"Hey, hey. It's fine if you don't make an appointment, why are you still making a move?!"

He reacted extremely quickly and dodged backwards, but he miscalculated the speed of Jarod's attack, and was almost slashed in the chest by his knife from top to bottom.Deadpool yelled, and jumped onto the window sill clutching his chest, his eyes were extremely frightened: "You hit your chest when you came up?!"

"..."

He had never seen such an unscrupulous opponent before. The corners of Jarod's mouth twitched, but his hands kept moving.The short knife swung towards his face with a whistling sound of piercing through the air, and with a 'clang' sound, it slashed with the long knife drawn by Deadpool, making a loud and piercing collision sound, and even a few sparks appeared at the junction.

It's pretty awesome.

After a few tricks in the narrow space of the window sill.Jarod dodged the knife from Deadpool backwards, turned over and landed firmly, and the way he looked at him changed.And Deadpool smiled, and rubbed his hands while riding on the window sill, not caring that half of his body was already hanging outside, and his feet were the height of a twelve-story building, if he didn't pay attention, he might fall down The half-dead kind.

"In the world I know, there are no elves here, and they are so beautiful and spicy."

He casually waved the hand holding the knife, and he said casually, with no seriousness in his tone: "So, which movie are you from? "The Hobbit" or "Lord of the Rings"?"

"……what?"

The dimensional wall is like a layer of paper to Deadpool, it can be pierced whenever he wants, that's why he is so curious about Garald, whom he doesn't know.But unfortunately, Mr. Elf is still somewhat different from him. He couldn't understand what he was talking about, but frowned slightly, with question marks all over his head.

"I'm saying there should be some necessary understanding between us."

After a haha, Deadpool changed the subject, and then opened his arms towards Jarod, his voice full of cheap laughter that made the elves want to go up and beat him up: "How about starting with a loving hug? Then we can work together one more time to change the distance between us from zero to negative..."

'Clatter——! ! '

"……of."

However, before he finished speaking, the two of them heard a loud sound of glass breaking at the same time.A bullet that flew from nowhere passed straight through Deadpool's right hand that was leaning on the window sill, and hit the window of the study room of this twelfth-floor apartment. Crashing off Deadpool, the sharp edge cut several cuts on his body, but only a little blood flowed, and within a few seconds, the skin healed up again.

"I rely on!!"

Jumping up from the window sill, he raised his right hand with a hole in front of his eyes, and Deadpool couldn't help but cursed: "Which bastard dares to sneak attack me?! I must explode his [beep——] today, and then Then [beep——], and finally [beep——] [beep——] [beep——]!!!!"

"..."

Shocked by the countless harmonious words in his sentence, Jialuode stood there in a daze, forgetting to check why the bullets were flying, just stood there, watching him jumping and cursing in a daze .

And the next second.

"boom--!"

Another bullet was shot from the side, directly passing through the temple of Deadpool who was chattering, and together with the gushing blood, fell to the ground with a 'clang'.Although he would not be killed so easily, when he was caught off guard by the huge impact and stood on the window sill, Deadpool couldn't control his balance at all. When his body tilted, he was about to fall straight from the twelfth floor. fall down.

"Hey!!"

I don't know what kind of terrible self-healing ability he has, even if he falls from the roof, he can't fall to his death.What Jarod saw was that Deadpool's soles slipped and he was about to fall off the window sill he was standing on, so he rushed forward reflexively, trying to pull him back.

but.

"I date him ×××××!!!"

The gunman standing on the roof of the opposite building has been seen clearly from the angle of leaning back.Seeing that he set up a big sniper and was about to shoot again, the elf had already rushed to the window, unable to avoid it.Deadpool simply grabbed Garald's outstretched hand, and with a sudden force, he even pulled the elf over, fell into his arms, and fell straight down together in a posture with their heads facing the ground. go.

What's even more exaggerated is that while they were falling, he kept nagging in Mr. Elf's ear: "Wow, little brother, we are going to die for love together."

Garrod: ... Nima! !

Get your fucking hands off my waist! ! !

He began to regret why he rushed forward so enthusiastically.

So, when Captain America and the Black Widow rushed through the door, they saw such a scene——

On the window sill full of broken glass, a pervert in a red and black tights hugged their elf tightly. jumped off the top floor of his apartment.

He was still shouting, "Little brother, let us die for love together hehehe".

Natasha:  …

Steve:  …

They felt that their posture at the door might be wrong.