poppies in the attic

51.

Wu Pengzhi has been away for a long time, but Xiang Jin has been standing in the middle of the attic. There is always a buzzing sound in her ears, her head is heavy, and it may be pain.Her rage had turned to cold air, wandering the attic, lifeless, unsupported, unconscious.

Xiang Jin's gaze finally fell on a scrap of paper on the ground, and then his thoughts gradually converged on this scrap. On the scrap of paper was an eye, empty and lifeless.

Xiang Jin squatted down, picked up the piece of paper, and looked at it carefully.Xiang Jin knew that this was Wu Pengzhi's eye in his own writing, the Wu Pengzhi's eye in the mirror, the eye without any smile.

Xiang Jin unconsciously began to pick up the pieces of paper on the floor, picking them up carefully, smoothing them out piece by piece with his hands, and pinching them neatly between his fingers.Until the floor is restored to cleanliness, there is no longer any piece of paper.Just stood up.

Xiang Jin felt a little dizzy, squatting for too long.So he sat down on the chair, and the paper was carefully placed on the workbench.

Xiang Jin went downstairs again.The cups and saucers on the coffee table were knocked over and fell into pieces.Xiang Jin picked up the sketchbook from the mess, ignoring the broken porcelain pieces.Go back to the attic.

Xiang Jin flipped through the sketchbook one by one. She was very familiar with her own works, and quickly determined which works she tore up.What is certain is that Wu Pengzhi's sketch was torn up.

Xiang Jin began to flip through the shreds of paper one by one, and then quickly picked out some. Puzzles are easy for Xiang Jin, let alone Wu Pengzhi, who was drawn by himself.The painting was quickly assembled.

In the portrait with cracks in front of him, Wu Pengzhi's already serious expression appeared more serious and sad.

"I'm sorry, Pengzhi, these are actually not my intentions." Xiang Jin stroked the folds of the paper, talking to Wu Pengzhi in his heart, but there was no sound, only tears.

Xiang Jin was angered by Wu Pengzhi.She was angry that Wu Pengzhi shouldn't be so ignorant of her painstaking efforts.

She can only warn Xiaoqin with cruel words, and she doesn't want her to go further and further down the wrong path.Xiang Jin herself has come step by step, and she has a deep understanding of all kinds of hardships and despair.Also, Xiaoqin reminded her of Fang Ming.

Fang Ming used to work very hard and had some talent, but he ended up like that in the end.Xiang Jin always knew that Wu Pengzhi looked down on Fang Ming.

So Xiang Jin felt that those laymen were truly indifferent and heartless.They take it for granted that artists dedicate their efforts and talents, and they pick and choose their works.When the works can be sold for a good price, or can satisfy vanity, they will praise the artist to the sky.When artists are unknown or lose their inspiration, everyone despises them.

Now everyone praises Van Gogh to the sky, almost no one dares to say that they don't like Van Gogh's paintings, but compared with the time when no one bought Van Gogh's paintings, is it true that people understand art better now?Or is it just people's kitsch?

Taking another [-] steps back, if Van Gogh lived around us, would everyone still think he was a lunatic?Will everyone like his neuroticism and his poverty?The answer is almost self-evident.

Xiang Jin disdained to argue with others, but she hoped that Wu Pengzhi could understand herself.

Xiang Jin is not a cold person. It is definitely not an easy and pleasant thing for her to hurt a little girl in such a tone. On the contrary, she is very uncomfortable and hurt in her heart.

Wu Pengzhi's accusation almost kicked Xiang Jin's wound again.

As for the latter words, they were Xiang Jin's thoughts, but they were actually angry words.

Everyone will have their own judgment and understanding of the world, but civilization and upbringing will allow us to exercise restraint and not express our opinions without scruples.

More importantly, language is limited.Xiang Jin's thoughts were not fully and accurately expressed.

For example, Xiang Jin said that she doesn't sympathize with these impetuous city people at all, but why is she not sympathetic, if not deep sympathy, why would she think about Xiaoqin's future?Why is this exhibition of newcomers still held?She really wants to use the little experience she has accumulated to help young people find a way out in this difficult business.If there is something wrong with it, it is that Xiang Jin understands people who make art better than people in shopping malls.This is purely personal preference, neither good nor bad.

Xiang Jin was really uncomfortable in drawing these sketches of urban figures.When she carefully pondered the expressions of these people, she would let herself fall into a sense of helplessness and emptiness that she could not extricate herself from. Whether it was the helplessness behind the exhaustion, or the emptiness and numbness behind the drunken faces, Xiang Jin felt depressed. .She instinctively wanted to run away.Not because of indifference, but because the oversensitive mind cannot bear these tragedies.

Xiang Jin stayed up until today just to stay here and spend more time with Wu Pengzhi.

But Xiang Jin knew with certainty that she had to leave here, and she felt that the only way she could repay Wu Pengzhi's love was to maintain her own personality.

If one day she becomes a mediocre person, she doesn't know what else she will use to attract Wu Pengzhi.Will Wu Pengzhi regret his current choice?Regret the 15-year wait?

However, Xiang Jin loves Wu Pengzhi, and after coming back this time, she feels that she loves Wu Pengzhi even more.Perhaps she has been wandering for a long time, but she yearns for nature while enjoying a stable and sweet life.For Xiang Jin, Wu Pengzhi is full of worldly enjoyment skills, eating delicious food, drinking fine wine, watching movies, watching performances, and having sex in bed.

What the city is to Wu Peng is what nature is to Xiang Jin.In other words, the city is Wu Pengzhi's nature.