[Psycho-Pass] Princess Disease

" "I remember," said the old man, "that I knew you didn't leave because you suspected me. "

"My dad told me to go. I was a kid and I had to listen to him.""

The girl read a paragraph of text on the thin book in front of her, then raised her head: "This is the reason."

"Please speak more clearly."

"You asked me why I didn't grow up with him in a welfare institution since I like Mr. Fujima so much. This is the reason."

Makishima nodded: "Compared to the harsh environment of welfare institutions, it is of course wise to choose to be adopted as one's own child."

"Mr. Makishima won't understand my feelings. After the fire, my face has become horrible. Only he treats me well as if he can't see the ugliness of this face at all. And this is still Not a tenth of the whole reason I trust him so much. Besides, do you think ten year olds have a choice for themselves. If I could be with him, of course I would. I think Fujima can too You completely understand how I feel."

"It's not that I don't know about him. He teaches in the same girls' school as me, and seems to be troubled by a student who is interested in him. It seems that he doesn't have much time to understand your mood." Faced with her calm attitude, Makishima couldn't help telling her with a little sarcasm that she was the only one who was still standing still in the original time.

No matter how you look at it, she is far from Fujima's world.

"If you hadn't bumped into us last night, I wouldn't need to explain to you why I knew him. Since you are not a homeless bum, please get out of here before the sun goes down."

"Don't jump to conclusions." Makishima waved his hand nicely, "So you only met him after he entered the welfare institution?"

"So what. I think I already know him very well." With her bluish-white fingers, she stroked the spine of the novel with a dark blue cover in her hand, which was "The Old Man and the Sea" by Hemingway.

"But you don't know what happened to him before that, do you?"

"Could it be that you already know?"

"I do know his past. It wasn't a deliberate investigation, but he told me himself."

There was a look of loss on her face that had hurt her self-esteem.Although the disappointment on her face was fleeting, the girl understood that what she had always believed in might just be her unilateral wishful thinking.Maybe in that person's heart, she is not as important as the person in front of him, because he never mentioned her past to her.

I have always been extremely satisfied with the world because I know that there is a half of her somewhere.As long as you think of this, you can drive away all the loneliness and continue to live with expectations.

She regards him as her world, but after so many years, she may be just a tiny mayfly in his world.Who would take childhood jokes seriously, and which normal person would insist on the desire to marry someone that he said when he was young and ignorant.

"What's the use of you saying this to me? Are you trying to show off to me that compared to you, I'm nothing more than a piece of dust for people to laugh at?" The girl sighed helplessly and lowered her eyes.

"I'm not someone who needs to compare with others to gain a sense of superiority. I just think you and Fujima are more suitable, so I think it's necessary to give you some pointers."

"That is to say, you are very interested in observing my tragedy?"

"Would I be such a superficial person who loves philosophy and art?"

"Come on, it's not that I can't imagine the mentality of a person like you."

"Whatever you want to do, I will help," Makishima promised meekly. "Scissors to cut off the leaves you hate, or insecticide to kill the pests that erode the roots."

"Please tell me the address of the so-called Yingshuang College, and other things you know that I don't know. I don't need scissors or pesticides. This is about human dignity. When I think of using strong means to solve it, I will explain it. You've already lost."

……

...

"It's so rare that you can still find this book." Sitting at his desk, Fujima looked at the dark blue cover with a little emotion at the lonely and simple fishing boat at the junction of the dark clouds and the deep sea.

"If you don't return the borrowed books, you will be struck by lightning. I deeply believe it."

There was a strange smile on his face: "Even if someone borrows my book and doesn't return it, I won't care about it."

"Could it be that you have been taken care of by others?"

"of course not."

She suddenly moved closer to his face: "Look, I won't be ridiculed for being ugly now. Now that I have regained my confidence, I can justifiably come to see you."

"Well, sure. I'll tell people you're my sister."

There was a look of contempt on her face: "You are really fickle."

"I already have someone I like."

"What... what?!"

"Think about it carefully. You just spent a year with me in a welfare institution when you were young. How much do you know about me? Maybe what you like is just a certain feeling."

"You can deny yourself, but how can you deny my thoughts..."

"I know your wish." He pulled a tan bottle from a drawer.

"I won't force you to like me, I just want to prove that I'm right. I've always been afraid of incomprehensible creatures like people. I imitate them and play a role that doesn't match me. Even if grandpa taught me Said, the most basic element of the human heart is sympathy, and I have no way to feel sorry for any disasters and tragedies. Only you have made me feel relieved that there is at least another me in the world... At least admit it, admit that you and I It's the same, those people who are behind bars in the world are as incomprehensible as mental patients."

If the world she has seen so far is like this, it is no wonder that she is willing to spend her life in a church isolated from the world.After all, there are no madmen to be seen there.

"Since it's the last time..." He poured half of the liquid in the bottle into lemonade and handed it to her, smiling modestly, "We are all disgusting filthy monsters locked inside the bars. Only this sentence If so, I promise to be sincere.”

"That's enough. I'm very happy." She picked up the cup and let the transparent liquid mixed with potassium cyanate slowly slide down her throat. A better ending."

……

...

She woke up from a long dream.What caught her eyes was the familiar castle walls.

I had a dream of being adopted by my aunt, and I also dreamed of growing up in a monastery.There are also such huge dreams intertwined with various possibilities.

What an exhausting dream.

She walked to the dilapidated sink, and saw that the faucet hadn't been turned off, and the pouring water stopped there with a time-freezing attitude.

She walked out of the gate, and the world outside was gray and dark, except for her, there was no aura of any living creature.

She walked back to the room full of glazed tiles, and found something she hadn't noticed just now.

The living room was filled with unbound white pages with stories about her.

The top stack tells the story that ended with her drinking potassium cyanate to her heart's content.

If it was the handwriting of the person she thought it was, how long had he been alone in this timeless world to write such a mountain of paper.

And now, where did he go?

She hugged the white papers in her hands tightly, but she didn't expect them to burn up, and the strange golden flame immediately scorched her hands black.

But the speed of self-recovery is also very fast, and the light-colored tender flesh immediately grows out, and the white skin covers it again.

She directly turned the story to the final chapter.

Then I realized that here she is no longer just a doll with personality, but the real soul of Kamesumi who has awakened from the maze of death.

After she died, he would drink the other half of the potassium cyanate.Maybe it was to make up for the regret that his sister wanted to kill him and then committed suicide but was strangled to death by him instead.

She picked up the pen beside her.The pen also hissed her skin like a cannonball.

She made up the ending faster than paper could burn.

"But after seeing the Hemingway book returned to him by the maiden, he dropped the poison.

Since after his sister died, he did not commit suicide.Then this time it's even more impossible.

Because no matter which world he is in, he must complete the work called the specimen event in order to preserve the existence of him and his sister. "

The paper gradually turned into light smoke, and disappeared into the palm of my hand without leaving any traces.

The papers in the room also turned into burning golden butterflies, flapping their golden wings in the colorful castle.Make it more than ever the unreal world of a fairy tale.

"Is this okay? It is precisely to pay for your death that he kept writing the past. Because you only wanted to break free from the prison of your body, but you didn't want your spirit to die. He worked so hard to wake up your soul from the sea of ​​death , exchanged positions with you, but you rewrote the ending."

"Although my elder brother has truly fulfilled my desire to liberate my soul from the prison of my body, in a world without him, what use is my soul..."

The author has something to say:

At this time, I decided to play Rilke's Song of the Stone Statue:

give up your precious life

Who can love me so much?

Willing to sink into the deep sea for me

If there are people who die for each other

At that time

I will be free from the stone statue

And life... life will come back

but

In the journey of life carrying the most important things

If one day I can return to the world

that time

i'll cry alone

Will weep that I was once a stone statue

Even if my blood is as red as wine

What is the use?

That's it

want to love me

Awakened from the depths

still can't do it

===========================================

According to legend, this poem is based on the tragic story of Hero and Leander in ancient Greek mythology, expressing the loneliness and sadness of a stone statue.The lonely stone statue standing on the sea cliff regains life because of the sacrifice of her lover who sinks into the sea; but once the stone statue who loves the fresh sense of life gains life, she can only cry alone on the stone body, because she has lost her love forever. the most beloved.

In this way, the stone statue gained life because of love, and lost love because of regaining life.

Love and life cannot have both.

iron stone intestine