[1bitHeart] The closed world of you and me

"Hmm~ Is it an opportunity? If you want to make friends with people, do you need some reason?"

Hearing the question from the door, Nanessi didn't feel guilty or flustered, instead she just tilted her head in surprise, and asked back with some puzzlement.

"Huh? But..."

Although he guessed for a while what kind of answer Nanessi would give him, but the door really did not expect that Nanessi would have such a normal reaction like a normal person, which made him doubt for a moment whether he really made a fuss or not. I couldn't help but froze for a moment.

Originally, the door subconsciously wanted to ask why Naixi suddenly changed his mind, but when he thought about it carefully, even when he decided to go home, he didn't swear so clearly and firmly that he would never make friends with anyone again, but just imitated I vaguely feel that I should not get too close to other people in the future, maybe it will be better for everyone.But after the high school entrance examination and resumption of school, although he did not actively contact people as before, but if someone warmly and kindly extended the hand of friendship, he did not reject or resist getting close to others because of this, and he still Friends who also broke up after making a few.

Apart from this point, since Nanessi didn't know that the door was his future self, and he hadn't asked Nanessi much about this aspect before, and had a heart-to-heart talk between brothers, it was naturally impossible to say " You've said before, "how, how" and so on to confirm Nainaxi's thoughts, but it's not worthwhile to read minds and consume extra energy for this matter. Finally, after a pause, the door hesitated to take "every banmen" should only know information, and then asked:

"The things in your school were like that before, I thought you wouldn't want to make friends in a short time."

"Well—I had a similar idea at the beginning. After all, my peers in the neighborhood already know me, and no one wants to get along with me anymore, and I don't think it's particularly inconvenient not to have friends. It's just, After recuperating here for a period of time, although you are with me, Brother Men, you still have to work. Sometimes when you look back and see that the apartment is empty, you still feel a little lonely? I also want to say that I don’t know anyone around here Me, maybe I can try to challenge again and make some friends... I also want to say that if the brother who just moved here is also because of work, I will feel more at ease, so I want to say whether to Let's go make friends together."

Nanessi didn't deny the door's statement either, but just murmured 'uh', frowned slightly as if trying to sort out and express his thoughts completely, and answered while thinking, although the answer was not so careless. Thought-like and direct, but the tone is very calm, at least the door doesn't feel like lying, and this reason is also logical.

But... I feel lonely.Also, eight years ago, I was only a 14-year-old child, and maybe I can't help being lonely.

Thinking of this, the mood of the door is somewhat complicated.

Looking back, when I was 14 years old and just lived at home, because my parents also had jobs, even if they cared about him, they couldn't be with him all the time, and he was often alone.It’s a lie to say that he doesn’t feel lonely or uneasy at all, but he kept saying to himself in his heart, ‘It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m fine’, and in the end he succeeded in convincing himself, and gradually he didn’t feel anything. Although occasionally in the dead of night, his heart would suddenly be swallowed up by emotions, but the frequency gradually decreased, and he gradually forgot that feeling of loneliness. It was not until now when he heard Nanessi confessing his loneliness so frankly that he suddenly felt lonely again. It was recalled by him──and the feeling was unexpectedly vivid and clear, as if he had never forgotten it.

"Well... that's how it is. Why don't you tell your brother when you feel lonely? Even if you have a job, if you want to arrange it, it's not that you can't spend more time with you, Nanaisi."

This discovery made him feel a little bit like being shocked, and because of this, he couldn't help showing a little indescribable emotion on his face. He sighed silently, and asked warmly with a bit of a wry smile.

"Well, I'm sorry, because things like me have delayed Brother Men's work and so on...Although it's fun to be with Brother Men, but I haven't had contact with the outside world for too long, and I always feel like I'm being overwhelmed by the world. It’s like being abandoned, even if you feel relieved, you also feel a little uneasy at the same time, so you still need other friends to talk to, right?”

A little shyly showing a smile as if feeling embarrassed, Nanessi answered the question of the door, even though a small part of it was a bit difficult to understand, but after all, it was the same person, and the door intuitively understood what Nanessi wanted. express feelings.

"That's right, I roughly understand what you want to express. Although I haven't planned yet, and I probably don't have much time to make friends with you, if you encounter any problems in this regard, Just ask me, although I don't know if the experience of someone like me is useful, but if you need it, I am willing to contribute at any time."

Letting out a breath slowly, although there are still some remaining doubts, but basically accepted what Nanessi said, the door just said this gently, expressing his willingness to help.

"Hmm! Okay! Then if brother Men wants to make friends, tell me too, and I will help brother too!"

Nanessi probably felt the change in the attitude of the door who seemed to be not very optimistic about making friends, so she answered happily and energetically, and replied with similar words with a smile on her face.

Uh wow... You haven't given up yet and asked me to make friends too?

Aware of this, the door was a little nerve-wracking, but it was probably the conversation just now, but I didn't feel much troubled or minded in my heart. I just tapped Nanessi on the head, and said with a helpless smile:

"Okay, let's talk about these things later. Hurry up and eat, the pizza is going to be cold."

■

The conversation between the two brothers ended, and then they finished their dinner in a very ordinary way, and each of them was doing their own things to kill the leisure time after dinner. After taking a bath in a very ordinary way, the two of them returned to the room at the door almost at the same time Going to rest and go to sleep──Actually, Nanessi thinks that the room next to the door can almost be said to be the room of the two of them, and his original room can almost be renamed the guest room, so he has some serious consideration. Just move all your stuff here.

The door was probably tired, and after covering the quilt, he closed his eyes, and didn't intend to chat with Nanessi any more.And even though Nanessi knew that he would have to work tomorrow, he didn't close his eyes immediately to cultivate sleepiness, but looked at the face staring at the door in front of him in the dim light, a little lost in thought.

In fact, just now when he was indifferent and didn't bother to ask questions before the door was swept away, when he finally asked him about making friends, Nanaisi considered for a moment whether to show his cards──Confess to the door that he is Nanaisi from the future while taking advantage of the situation── ─, but then this idea was dismissed by himself, and he used another set of rhetoric to answer the door's question.

But the rhetoric that I said to the door is not a lie, at most it is a frank confession of my true 14-year-old feelings, at most it is a change of coping method after feeling lonely──It’s just that the self at that time is compared to the same time again If he takes the initiative to find a friend, what he really chooses is to continue to nest in the soft and comfortable comfort zone created for him by the door, which makes people unable to generate any dissatisfaction, and divert himself with entertainment such as playing games, watching TV, or reading comics. Pay attention, let yourself ignore the little emotions in your heart.

As for the showdown, he didn't expect to be able to conceal the truth to the end without any flaws. It was only a matter of time before he told the truth──Naisi chose not to show his cards just because the timing was not so much ripe, but rather It's mostly because Naixi wants to spend more time with 'Brother Men' out of selfishness. Once the showdown is over, Naixi knows that her future self may not be bothered to continue pretending to be someone else because she has already experienced it in the past. The 'older brother mode' that he had been maintaining before was also instantly lifted, so in order to maintain the status quo, he continued to pretend that he was still the same 14-year-old self.

Before knowing the true identity of the door, for Nanaisi, who was 14 years old at that time, besides his parents, there were two other people who were of special significance to him. The heart of things, the other is the door of being a cousin.

In addition to being his ideal type at that time and the "brother" he always wanted to have, he had another idea that made people laugh when he thought about it now—at that time he always felt that if he wanted to say something If anyone can stay with him for the rest of his life without finally cutting off contact with him because of feelings of disgust and disgust towards him, there is probably no one else except the door.

Even if his parents love him, he respects and loves them, but he is not unaware that his parents love him more because they are good people and responsible parents at the same time, so although they can't fully understand him, they still try to understand him. Forgiving him, worrying about him, worrying about him, treating him as if he didn't know how to deal with him correctly, and treating and nurturing him carefully and delicately, it's almost to the point where Nanaishi can't even think about it now. He felt a bit ashamed of the love he had let his parents push him so hard, even though he was also happy that his parents loved him so much for a weird son.

And Xin is the kind of person he envied and admired at that time, with firm and straightforward eyes, decisive actions, and an aura that is different from ordinary people. Worrying is not without fear, but she still has the courage to go straight to the determined path, which is very dazzling in Nanessi's eyes.And at that time, even if my heart suffered all kinds of spiritual pollution by his side, after the momentary emotions passed, it would not leave a negative impression on him like most people did, and stay away from him, but could still follow without the slightest reluctance. Those around him who still cared about him, Naixi couldn't help but have a good impression of her.

But the door is different, he also tolerates his weird personality, but it is different from his parents who tolerate it with all their hearts and love, and try to understand and accept it in their own way. He accepts everything about him with an ordinary attitude, and doesn’t think he’s weird, and doesn’t give him any special treatment when getting along with him—this kind of ordinary treats him as ordinary The attitude of a normal person once moved Nanaixi, who didn't know the truth at the time, inexplicably, thinking that apart from the door, there would be no other people who could get along with him and make him feel at ease.

Before he met Xin and was moved by Xin's true feelings, he thought seriously that it would be great if one of him and the door was a woman. In that case, he must be with the other party Marriage, it’s not even that I didn’t think that it’s okay to be of the same sex, as long as I can spend the rest of my life together──But the reality is always cruel, and after knowing the truth, these thoughts will naturally disappear, even though he was rational at the time Accepted this, but actually quite depressed, if it wasn't for the obvious abnormality of the heart that already had a lot of weight in his heart after the showdown between the door and them at that time, it distracted his attention to a certain extent, otherwise he wouldn't know himself How much time will it take to digest that indescribable emotion alone.

Sigh... Brother Men, why can't he just be Brother Men?It happens to be another self.How wonderful it would be if he was just a simple cousin──

Recalling all kinds of thoughts and thoughts when he was young, Nanessi looked at the face of the gate with the dim and soft light green hair in front of him, and felt a little sentimental, thinking so.

He sighed quietly, and moved a little closer to the door. For the first time, he reached out and hugged him when he was awake instead of drowsy. He temporarily forgot his real age in spirit, and he was still like a child Rubbing his head against the arms of the door, he finally closed his eyes, letting go of all the unnecessary emotions and getting ready to rest.

The author has something to say: In fact, when I watched the live show, I felt that although Nanaixi should also like girls, the subtle feeling is not very straight, and it feels like she can bend easily if she wants to bend...... .. I don't know if this is my illusion.