[1bitHeart] The closed world of you and me

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After answering the question about the door here, Naixi played a little bit of the game that hadn't been fully cleared as usual, and took the clothes to take a shower. When entering the bathroom, just hang the sign of "in use" and the door No matter how bored he would never suddenly break into the private space, he sighed softly and didn't rush to take a bath, but sat on the toilet thinking about what just happened.

Brother Men already knows that I already understand the rules of our self-created programming language... Although it seems that there is no doubt now.

In fact, Nanessi was not surprised by this, at least knowing that the door seemed to have spoken to the deer today, he probably guessed that he would have a high probability of knowing about it──and since he dared to use this in front of the deer The number converted from the law is written in my own hand, and I generously copy it down for the curious deer to study, but I am not afraid of knowing it.

To be more correct, this is actually a loophole deliberately left by Nanessi.

Right after he was reborn, Nanessi realized that he also had a "future memory" that was completely different from the door. It was impossible to hide it from the other party for a lifetime, especially since he planned to make the door change in this life, and promised to stay with him to see it. Another hopeful future after his change - that is to say, he hopes that another future self can accompany him for the rest of his life as the cousin of "Feng Sakamen". It would be even more impossible to keep it a secret, so after almost thinking of this, Nanessi has been thinking about how to let the door know about it.

Although it is said that after being caught so obvious that even he himself can't find a flaw in his self-justified explanation, it is also an option to directly explain the matter to the doorman on the spot──but after all, this method feels like tearing face If possible, Nanessi would like to let him know this message in a gentler and more acceptable way.

So after thinking about it, he decided that while he was lying in wait for the door to communicate with people, he also left more or less a little trace, which could hint and lead the door to notice that he was not simply '14-year-old Nanessi'. clues──In this way, even if the door does not immediately suspect and guess this point, he will not be too abrupt when explaining it later, and the previous clues can probably make the door somewhat psychologically prepared, so that he will not be confessed The content was caught off guard.

Just like the creation and deciphering of their self-created language, even though it is because of the management program, Nanessi is often praised as a genius. The type of people who can turn faster, but even if there is a door that uses the number sequence as a reminder and reference first, compared with the door that completely figured out this law and created the language by itself, Nanessi has already got a little As a cheat sheet for the sample, it took him two or three years to finally figure out the core law and fully understand success.

Although it is very fast compared to other people, just like what Lei said at the beginning, even Lei, who claims to be a genius and is very proud of it, admits that if he did not find the relevant information from his younger brother The information is used as clues, and it will probably take a lifetime to analyze it by yourself without prompting—but if he is really just a simple 14-year-old self, even if it doesn’t take so long to decipher, It's also completely impossible to understand everything in just a few months.

Although the door seems to be a little doubtful about the clue he gave, it is not serious enough to suspect him as a person. Nanessi knows that this is also thanks to them all, unless the flaw is really big enough for him to ignore. He is not very good at taking the initiative to think deeply and doubt the type of person, but as the door knows more clues that he deliberately left behind, one day he will eventually notice something strange about him that is so obvious that it is difficult to ignore──and When the time comes, it is probably the right time for two people to sit down and explain.

Although I don't know when my brother will start to feel that something is wrong, but if there is a real showdown, I am still a little nervous──

Regarding the fact that he is "another future reborn Seven Seven Four" in the showdown, Nanessi believes that the most appropriate time should be after the door begins to change, and he takes the initiative to reveal the identity of the "Aisaka Gate" to expose his real body Before, because he was not sure how his attitude would change after the door knew about it, even though he had already begun to prepare various doubts and clues for the door to discover, but while making these arrangements, he also had a somewhat contradictory hope that when that day came, he could The later the better -- not only the door needs corresponding psychological preparation before sitting down to talk, but he also needs to be awakened and prepared to break the peaceful and peaceful daily life in front of him.

As for the clues left by him on the deer side, he found the door first. On the one hand, Naixi felt comforted—at least this is the most gentle message among them, but at the same time, he was a little nervous when he thought of taking another step towards the time point of exposure. with worry.

The response was so natural just now, but it was the result of Naixi's extraordinary acting skills in such a tense state, and he didn't suspect him to the point of being suspicious, and he deliberately paid attention to any flaws──otherwise Nana Xi may have to make a frank and relative secret confession in advance.

But aside from the fact that he was somewhat psychologically prepared for this, the conversation just now actually has other things that Naixi cares about—that is, the door is completely unimpressed about his birthday, and he is not even in a good mood when he talks about it. This made him have some doubts.

Although I did have similar thoughts in the past, I didn't expect Brother Men to seem like he hasn't celebrated his birthday for a long time... Even if there are no friends to congratulate, are there any parents?Although I said that when I grow up, because I am often away from my hometown, it is true that my parents did not prepare birthday activities like when I lived at home when I was a child, but I have always sent birthday gifts and blessings, and Brother Men should not be concerned about this kind of thing. Things are so unfamiliar that you can't even react to receiving a gift?

Thinking about the subtle attitude of the door just now, Nanessi is actually a little worried—although he thinks it shouldn't be like that, but he is still quite worried that in the future of the door's world, will their kind and gentle couple be included? His parents have given up on him?And thinking of the plans he decided to make in his previous life, when Naixi grew up, he put himself in the situation and realized many details that he hadn't thought of or noticed before, and he also noticed how much the door was at that time. With a feeling of self-destructiveness, he is particularly worried about the current level of mental health of the door.

"Nainaxi? Haven't washed yet? Don't just play the game app and forget that there are people outside who need to use the bathroom──"

When Nanessi was seriously considering whether to try to prepare a lively and grand birthday party for Men to change his view of his birthday a little bit, to see if it could stimulate some positive thoughts in him, he heard the entrance There were a few light knocks, and then the door sounded from outside—probably because he hadn't heard the sound of bathing water, and mistakenly thought that he was so addicted to the game that he forgot what he planned to do, so he reminded him.

"Okay - I got it! Wait a minute for me!"

It was only then that she realized that she seemed to have been wandering in her thoughts for too long, and after Naixi responded, she collected her emotions and hurried to take a shower.

But because of the other party's birthday, Naixi was thinking about it almost the whole time when he was taking a shower──As a result, he found out that he wanted to hold a birthday party that was so lively that the door regained his liking for his birthday, excluding money The biggest problem with all the preparations that have been spent on the birthday is that there are not many people who can be called friends who can make this birthday noisy and happy.

This is difficult to deal with. Although according to our previous thinking, as long as someone is willing to celebrate our birthday, we will feel happy, but such a shallow joy that is superficial and may be forgotten by him in a blink of an eye cannot be truly happy. It is really meaningful to want the kind of sincere blessings from friends that can make me feel warm and happy from the bottom of my heart.

As soon as she thought of the invitation list for the door's birthday celebration, Naixi was a little troubled, probably under the impetus and guidance of her heart, she finally woke up slowly and slowly, and untied the various natural emotions and reactions of being a human being that she had been sealing all along. No longer just relying on the distorted theories I came up with to deal with other people's contacts, words and deeds, whether they are benevolent or malicious, before rebirth, except for those places that are still a bit weird but basically harmless, Nanessi is already very close to the so-called normal As a person, he is more aware of what he once lacked.

In the past, it was not so much that he valued others too much, and that everyone could like and praise him, but that he never really cared about and cared about anyone—probably because of his unique ability that he was born with. The problem is that although he is not aware of it himself, he actually looks at the people around him like he is watching characters in a game. Although he has preferences or feelings, they are all irrelevant to him.

At the same time, he also regards himself as an existence that also belongs to the NPC, rigidly and conscientiously abides by the "rules of life" taught to him by his parents, but he doesn't know how to adapt appropriately, so he uses this kind of "rules of life". The clumsy way of contacting people, and because of his clumsiness, he used to be envious of other people who obeyed his own rules and showed himself strongly, and hated his own uselessness from the bottom of his heart, and underestimated himself. Find the empty existence that belongs to your own shape and simulates ambiguity.

He can 'understand' many things because of his ability, but he doesn't understand the emotions of others as he thought he could truly empathize with them. Even if he seems to respond, it's just based on experience and hearing. And make the response that should be done.But he doesn't know that imitation like this is the real fatal wrong response, even if he sincerely hopes that he can help others, but his misplaced performance like a child's play makes it difficult for people to recognize this—and therefore Before he met Xin, those ex-friends who broke up with him were unable to bear this kind of caring and reaction that appeared to be superficial at first glance, and could not feel his performance-like words and deeds that he wanted to convey but failed to convey. It was only because of his heart that he felt disgusted and unhappy, and finally chose to leave him.

Also because of these interpersonal failures and traumas that he himself is completely unaware of the real reasons, he can only choose to accept the various reasons that are almost venting out of revulsion from those people who may not be able to figure it out at all── That is to say, I am disgusting and people don't want to get in touch with me, so I have been alienated and hated by people like this.

And in order not to let himself be hurt by these words, he is an unusually late maturer in this respect, and he is naive in dealing with it. He constantly raises his tolerance to a level where he will not suffer from it, and creates a theory that can convince himself to accept such a situation. At the same time, in order not to be annoying and to protect himself, he kept making concessions and retreating, and finally retreated into a small closed world that only belonged to him.

Such a closed world is both protection and restraint. It tightly seals all human touch and emotion, making it difficult for him to feel too strongly about what happened to him—whether it is good or bad. ──, but because of this, it pushed him farther away from the result he wanted, and the further he went, the more he closed his own world, and he entered such a vicious circle unconsciously, and finally he was trapped in a cocoon. I slowly gave up my attachment to everything.

Fortunately for him than the door, the heart from the future came to him, and the strong push had almost closed his world at that time, so that there was almost no exit. It is right to point out what he should do, and gradually turn his gaze back from the focus, allowing him to see clearly his true desire and mood, allowing him to admit and face up to his cowardice and pain ──Saved him like a goddess, like an angel descending a miracle.

On the contrary, it was obviously the reason why he wanted to save the person "July [-]" in the first place, but in the end he seemed to understand something, but he also seemed to understand nothing, accepting that Naixi was no longer with him After I was completely the same as another person's 'new Seven Seven Four', I chose to leave, and finally became an existence that only existed in the memory of Nainaxi and Xin.

If it is true that Nanaixi is like what the door once predicted, it will be fine if he forgets all the memories of being with "brother door" when he disappears, but I don't know why, even if the heart goes back to the future where she should be, Everyone gradually forgot and distorted the memory related to the door, but he still remembered everything.

As the years grew and gradually awakened more and more previously frozen feelings, every time Naixi missed the two people who were closest to him during that time, he would feel a little lonely and uncomfortable, especially when his heart was still there. The romantic expectation of being able to meet in the future and kiss in front of the [-] tower, but the door is really never seen again.

Every time he realizes this, he regrets not being able to insist on keeping the door open, so that he can witness with his own eyes what his changed future will be like.Anyway, the door himself said that after the change, Nanessi and him can already be said to be two people, and if the door has the heart, they may not be able to stay and do things in a way that is acceptable to the absolute rules of this world. As a witness, I have been living with him, and maybe during this period, the door can also change and be saved by someone.

Also because of this regret, before his death in his previous life, Nanessi decided to use an incomplete analysis of theories to mess around in a way with a high probability of causing problems, and then he was lucky enough to be reborn.And after his rebirth, he also had a special attachment to changing the door and planned to keep the door this time. He has been trying to put in a lot of effort to implement it this time.