i love you as you love me

In Zhou Fang's eyes, Xiao Zhuang is a subordinate personality with no social relationship, so Xiao Zhuang went to the door last night, which scared him half to death.

This subordinate personality should only exist on the Internet and WeChat.

Zhou Fang felt that apart from himself, no one would know that the Guan Gu split was a soft and cute fan.

Mama Guan is actually clear.

"When you two were still in high school, it should be the first semester of the second year of high school," Guan's mother said, "Your homeroom teacher contacted me and said that Guan Gu had fallen in love with you. Looking for parents, but in the mid-term exam, Guan Gu did not look good in the exam, and fell out of the top [-] of his age."

The midterm exam in the first semester of the second year of high school?Not long before that exam, Zhou Fang and Guan Gu had a showdown, saying that they liked boys and the classmate in the next class, and then they broke up.In the subsequent midterm exam, both he and Guan Gu got No.4, and he was the fourth from the bottom.He remembers that on the day when the grades came out, he was sitting in the last row of the classroom with his 24-point chemistry paper spread out in front of him, and he heard the students next to him saying, "Is Guan Gu's grade wrong? How could he be No. 4? "

Mama Guan adjusted the fire of the gas stove and said, "When I heard what your teacher said, I was a little anxious. High school is so important to my future life. How could Guan Gu make such a mistake at this juncture? He is sensible and understands Early, you have your own ideas and know what you want. Since he can eat, your uncle and I have hardly worried about him. He can do whatever we ask of him. From childhood to adulthood, in At home and at school, he is always excellent. So when I encountered a problem, I didn’t know how to deal with him. I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t even know what he was thinking. .In the end, I had no choice but to use the worst strategy and secretly read his diary.” At this point, she looked at Zhou Fang shyly, “I know you young people don’t like us doing this. There is no way, too anxious."

Zhou Fang understood: "You are also worried about him."

Guan's mother smiled helplessly, and continued: "After reading his diary, I realized that he and that girl were not in love. He liked a boy. He felt that he was abnormal and a pervert, and he couldn't tell others. , I didn’t dare to get too close to the person I like, so I had to be alone. At first, I thought it was unacceptable, how could a boy like a boy? As a result, the more I looked at the back of his diary, the more I could understand this His entanglement was let go, only worry and heartache remained, his condition became worse and worse, his diary became shorter and shorter, and his mood became more and more depressed. He said that because he was cowardly and dared not confess, he missed the person he liked, The other person fell in love with someone else, and his grades fell again, and he doubted himself, thought he was terrible, and felt that he was a failure."

Zhou Xin has mixed feelings in his heart. Is it really because of caring and cowardice that they failed to be together from the beginning?certainly not.

Guan Gu just didn't want to come and bend him. If Guan Gu wanted to, he would have bent him long ago.Caring is not cowardly, but just does not want to harm him.

It's like he has secretly fallen in love with Guan Gu all these years but dare not say it, it's not because he is cowardly, he just hopes that Guan Gu can walk a less difficult life path, marry a wife and have children smoothly, and live a safe and happy life.

Guan's mother said: "I was very distressed at the time. Why didn't he tell me about his life? Why did he push himself so hard? Is it because my father and I set too high demands on him?" The emotion she felt when she found out that she cared about the secret brought back, obviously until now, she is still blaming herself.

Zhou Fang said: "You and uncle taught very well, otherwise he wouldn't be so good, his personality is good, he is good everywhere. If you don't ask him for it, you can just look at me. I have been a scumbag since I was a child. My temper is not good, my own mother doesn’t want to see me, so when my father was alive, he called me a good son twice. If you didn’t help me later, I might go to read Lan Xiang, and now I’m cursing and talking What about the excavator?"

Mother Guan was amused, and said: "We didn't help you with anything, the main reason is that you are born with good conditions. At that time, your father was sick, and the care diary was full of worries about you, afraid that your father's condition would worsen, and also afraid of this incident. This will affect your college entrance examination. I thought about it, your uncle happened to know a few teachers from the film school, so I asked him to help you get in touch, see if he can help you with training, and make a surprise art test. But I never told him that he cares about you. Your uncle didn’t know about it until my birthday last month, and you asked Guan Gu to give me a birthday present. He wondered why you suddenly thought of giving me a birthday present, so I told him that Guan Gu was talking to you. He was surprised to be in love, but he is not old fashioned, after struggling for a few days, he accepted it."

Zhou Fang showed embarrassment. When Guan's mother helped him do those things, did she expect that sooner or later he would indulge in the beauty of caring?

As if guessing what he was thinking, Mama Guan said with a smile: "At that time, I didn't think so far, I just wanted to make Guan Gu happy."

Zhou Fang was a little moved, for a mother's heart.

He was still thinking about what Guan's mother said just now, and asked: "I heard from him that when we were in college, you found that his credit card had been charged for thousands of dollars, and you came to ask him what he bought. It was only then that I discovered that I had split my personality, did you also know about it at that time?"

But Mama Guan said: "That time I accidentally slipped my mouth. I really thought it was some electronic product he bought himself. I didn't find out that there were more clothes in his closet in time. Before he had time to put them away, he was caught by him." Discovered first."

Zhou was shocked in his heart, and said, "What do you mean?"

Mama Guan was calm and frank, and said, "Not long after your college entrance examination, I found out that he was sick."

Zhou Fang: "...Not long after the college entrance examination?!"

its not right!

It wasn't the winter vacation of junior year, Zhou Fang's ex-boyfriend approached Guan Gu to provoke him, and said something, and the two had a fight, did Guan Gu get mad?

That's what Guan Gu said!

Guan's mother went to the kitchen door and looked at the living room. The Guan family and his son were chatting about the regulation of the property market, and did not pay attention to the movement in the kitchen.She went back to the stove and lifted the lid. The pork ribs that were being stewed in the pot were beautiful in color and fragrant.

She closed the lid and turned down the fire a bit, then turned to look at Zhou Fang, and said slowly: "It was that summer, one day he went out very happily and said that you were accepted by the Film Academy and asked him to go with you. To celebrate, he didn’t come home that night. The next morning, your uncle wasn’t at home, and I went out too. When I came back around noon, Guan Gu was already at home. I asked him what he wanted for lunch, but he didn’t say a word. , I asked him what's wrong, he touched his neck and opened his mouth, his expression was very weird, I thought it was wrong, but I don't know what's wrong, he went to get the paper and pen, and wrote for me to see, on the paper Said: Sore throat, unable to make a sound. I hurriedly took him to the hospital. The doctor saw that the vocal cords were a little red and swollen, and it might be an inflammation that caused the throat. He prescribed some medicine and said to take the medicine and drink more water , It will be fine in a few days. From going out to the hospital for examination, his performance has been not quite right. At first I thought it was because he was unwell, so I didn't think much about it. But when I got home, he went to the bathroom , came out and said to me, Mom, you are back? As soon as I heard it, I asked him, your throat is healed? Does it still hurt? He said very strangely, how do you know that my throat hurts? I gave him the medicine , He actually doesn’t remember that I took him to the hospital and prescribed those medicines.”

Zhou Xin drummed in his heart, and asked uncertainly: "Is it his second personality who went to the hospital with you?"

Mama Guan said: "At that time, I didn't think about what happened. When I woke up from the afternoon nap, I came out of the room. He was sitting in the living room watching TV and turned to look at me. His eyes were very strange. He had never looked at me like that before." Passed me, I talked to him, he pointed to his throat, and shook his head again. He was already well at lunch time, but after sleeping, he couldn’t talk again. I was completely confused, and he replied Go to the room. He didn’t come out until the evening when your uncle came home. He greeted your uncle as if nothing had happened. The father and son also chatted about current affairs news. I think he’s fine, and I think he might be Joking with me. But on the second day, he was fine in the morning, and suddenly became like that again in the middle of the morning, unable to speak, and looked at me strangely. Then I thought, it’s broken, there is a real problem gone."

Zhou Fang: "...What happened next?"

"Later I took him to the hospital to have his throat checked. The doctor also found it strange that his vocal cords were fine. Why couldn't he speak?" Mama Guan said with a sad face, "Ask him what's wrong, and he wrote it down on the paper. , said that he just couldn’t make a sound, and felt a sore throat when he tried hard, and the doctor couldn’t help. I took him to see a Chinese medicine doctor, and the doctor said that it might be hoarseness caused by violent anger, but he couldn’t explain it. What happened? After leaving the hospital and returning home, he was fine again, able to speak, and everything was normal. I kept worrying about it, and sure enough, within two hours, he could not speak again, and his demeanor seemed to be a different person. I was anxious and scared, and asked him what was wrong, but instead he wrote to comfort me and said, Mom, don’t worry, it will be fine. I was also hoping that he would be fine, but it has been eight or nine years, and now , he is still not well."

Hearing the doctor say it was "the hoarseness caused by rage", Zhou Xin felt a little thumped in his heart.

... Guan Guan would be like this, but it was caused by rage.

Mama Guan didn't know what happened that day, but he did.

Guan Gu went to his house that day, the two drank, he confessed his love and called someone else's name, and even kissed Guan Gu when he was drunk.The next morning, it happened that his ex came to seek reunion, and was bumped into by Guan Gu.

Originally, he heard from Guan's mother that Guan Gu's illness was not due to the winter vacation in his junior year, so he thought there were other reasons.In the end, when he got to the bottom of it, he was still angry, a few years earlier than his ex-boyfriend ran to provoke him.

He asked: "He, I mean the second personality of Guan Gu, he called your mother?"

Mama Guan said: "He knows that I am his mother, but he doesn't know that I am Guan Gu. He thinks his name is Zhou Xiaozhuang, and he also thinks that he is a monkey. You are his senior, and he has always had a crush on you."

Zhou Fang was very embarrassed. Xiao Zhuang hadn't had a crush on him for a long time. Not only did he confess his love, but he was also teased by this scumbag.

"After two years later, he thought that he also studied at the university of Guan Gu. Guan studied finance, but he thought he was studying Chinese. After graduation, he became a freelance writer and wrote essays. and novels, as well as writing film reviews.” Mama Guan suddenly showed a look of frustration, and said, “But he told me these things on paper or on his mobile phone, because until now, he has never spoken to me.”

Zhou Fang was stunned and said, "Xiao Zhuang can't talk?"

Mother Guan nodded and said, "After he lost his voice for a short time because of a sore throat, he thought he was dumb. Later, he learned sign language according to the video tutorial, but the number of times he used it should not be many. He has no classmates or colleagues at all. .”

Zhou Fang: "..."

No wonder Xiao Zhuang never sent a voice message, no wonder he never answered Guan Gu's phone call.

Since Guan Gu moved to your place at the beginning of this year, Xiao Zhuang thought he was renting a house there, and he also felt that he moved after his idol. He occasionally sent me WeChat, saying that his roommate had a cat , he may regard Guan Gu as a roommate. "

Knowing the latter, Zhou Fang asked, "Didn't you tell Guan Gu about this? He doesn't seem to know what his second personality looks like."

Mama Guan said helplessly: "I have consulted with a psychiatrist, but there is no effective treatment method. This is not even considered a mental illness. It is more of a psychological problem, which usually occurs due to excessive pressure or external stimulation. Psychological counseling at the time of stress or irritation is useful and can be avoided. However, Zhou Xiaozhuang has already appeared, and there is no way to erase him. We can only rely on drugs to suppress his appearance, but those drugs have too many side effects on the body. The doctor's opinion is that if Zhou Xiaozhuang is a dangerous personality, such as manic behavior or antisocial tendency, drug treatment is necessary, but he is a normal personality, studying hard, living an active life, and sacrificing his health to Erasing this harmless personality is not worth it at all. I decided to hide it from my care. No normal person can easily accept another split self. It is better not to know than to let him know that it will cause psychological burden in the future. , Alas, it’s a pity I still couldn’t hide it.”

She looked at Zhou Fang and said, "He always thinks that you like someone else, and you finally got along well in those few years. He was planning to confess his love to you when you graduated from university. When he found out that he had this disease, he didn’t dare anymore.”

Zhou Fang was angry and sad, and said: "I don't like others, I just like him, and I have always liked him."

Guan's mother said: "Last year he wanted to buy a house. After seeing the real estate, he came back and asked me in embarrassment. Zhou Fang said he wanted to buy me upstairs, and said that he would have someone to take care of him when he got old. What do you think he means? Said, Zhou Fang must like you too. But he didn’t believe it, he smiled for a while and then sullenly, and said to me, Zhou Fang and Jian Ningchuan are speculating on CP, will he really like Jian Ningchuan? I said, How can Jian Ningchuan be as attractive as my son? He said listlessly, but Zhou Fang likes a little boy like Jian Ningchuan. He is so confident in himself, I don’t know why, but he can’t be confident in front of you. I keep urging him to hurry up Confession, he just didn’t dare, he was afraid that you didn’t like him, and he was afraid that you didn’t like him with this schizophrenia. It dragged on until the end of August, and I went to your place to see you and talked to you a few words before I realized that you actually I thought he and Yao Beibei were in love, I was so anxious, as soon as you left after dinner, I would scold and care about you, it was really worthless, while worrying that Zhou Fang would be hooked away by others, while I was still If you are so cowardly, if you don't confess your love, Jian Ningchuan will really hook you up and go away. He still talks back, saying that you can hook up and go away, he is not afraid. The next morning, he called me and said he confessed, you guys The two are on good terms."

Zhou Fang couldn't help laughing, Guan Gu was so cute in front of his mother!

"What are you talking about?" the lovely deity asked at the kitchen door with a serious face.

Zhou Fang didn't know how to answer, so he looked at Mama Guan.

Guan's mother said: "I'm teaching Zhou Fang to cook, go wash your hands with your dad, and fry two more vegetarian dishes to eat."

Guan Gu agreed to go.

Seeing him walking away, Guan's mother said to Zhou Fang: "You have to think about how to deal with this matter. You will be the one who will live with him in the future."

Zhou Fang nodded.

During the meal, Guan's father picked on the pork ribs stewed with firewood, but Guan's mother stopped him by saying "it was made by Zhou Fang".

After tidying up the dishes and sitting down for a while, Guan Gu took Zhou Fang to bid farewell to his parents and went back.

On the way, Consultant Guan said, "What did you and my mother talk about?"

Zhou Fang said vaguely, "Just teach me how to cook."

Guan Gu said: "My mother likes to teach people how to cook. When you go out to work, I'll learn from her."

Zhou Fang: "...Huh?"

Guan Gu glanced at him with a smile, and said, "It's fine if there is one who can do it."