Reserve the sun

"What did you say?"

If you want to describe Ji Yu's expression at this moment, a recent popular word is obviously appropriate - bewildered face, although it sounds not very elegant, but Ji Yu's expression at the moment is indeed very similar to the expression named after this word.

To put it a bit exaggerated, Ji Yu has lived for 27 years and has always been a person who takes the steering wheel of life, study and work in his own hands. Although he is not conceited, he has never doubted his IQ and logical ability.This was the first time, he felt that his brain was not enough, he could understand every word of Jiang Liu, and he could even translate it into English without barriers, but he felt that he could not understand the meaning of the other party at all.

"You think? What do you mean?"

With the help of wine, Jiang Liu said something that was infinitely close to a confession. He admitted that everything that happened today was developing in a completely uncontrollable direction, whether it was bringing Ji Yu to the Donald's family gathering, or discovering that the two I met him when I was a child, or took him to the piano room where I felt most at ease when I was a child, or even told my true desire under impulse.

Jiang Liu was nervous, but she didn't regret it.Ji Yu's face was within reach of him lowering his head, and there was a wall behind him. It would be a waste to say one more word at this moment. Only actions can truly let the other party understand what he is facing.

Like every time a decision is made, Jiang Liu never hesitates in the face of important decisions.He didn't want to scare Ji Yu, so even though those lips were under his control, he didn't rush to kiss them, but turned his head a few times when he was about to touch them.Jiang Liu closed her eyes slowly, and kissed the corner of Shang Ji Yu's mouth lightly with her last rationality,

This time, both the person kissed and the person who initiated the kiss were both sober, so Jiang Liu was not as trembling as when he stole the kiss before.He has already made a plan in his heart that this is the last time to get close to Ji Yu. If possible, he hopes that this moment will last forever, and the sea will dry up...

Jiang Liu's lips were stuck to the corner of Ji Yu's mouth, and he was always aware of the other's reaction and feeling.Obviously, Ji Yu was out of shape at first, and he didn't understand what he was doing at all. Then, Ji Yu became stiff little by little, and he could clearly feel Ji Yu's movements of pursing his lips and swallowing.And then, Jiang Liu felt Ji Yu tilt his head to avoid it. Although he was extremely reluctant, he knew that it was time for this beautiful kiss to end.

It was the first time to accept a kiss in a passive position, and Ji Yu was surprised that he didn't feel much discomfort, he was just flustered, so he instinctively wanted to escape.

Ji Yu looked at Jiang Liu who had taken a step back, and was silent for a long time.

"Jiang Liu, if I misunderstand, please correct me in time."

"Okay." Jiang Liu nodded obediently.

Ji Yu took a deep breath, closed and opened his eyes again, "You mean, you like me, don't you?"

"Yes." Jiang Liu replied without hesitation: "To be more precise, I love you."

As his eyes darkened, Ji Yu felt his heart beating faster for no reason, "You're not joking, you're serious." There was no question or suspicion in his tone, and he spoke in a straightforward, calm and sure way.

"Yes."

Ji Yu heaved a sigh of relief, yes, he has always been meticulous, caring and gentle, and carefully treating his kisses as treasures, all of which he has personally experienced, how could it be fake.

"Thank you for your love, no, thank you for your love. But, I can't respond to you now." Ji Yu is a man, he will not ask 'Why me like the heroine who is suddenly confessed in an idol drama ? ’ or ‘When did you start liking me? ' Such meaningless words.If you like it, you like it. Many times, you can’t tell the reason and process. Since you already know the result, the process is not that important.

From a work point of view, the cooperation between Yuzhou and Donald has just begun. Jiang Liu is the person in charge of this project, and he does not want to have an antagonism with him; from a life point of view, he and Jiang Liu get along very happily. He admired his self-cultivation, and he didn't want a friend to leave like this; from a personal point of view, at the moment when he suddenly wanted to poke Jiang Liu's cheek just now, he felt that there seemed to be something wrong with him, at least he had been in love I didn't feel that way at the time.

Although he is Chinese and influenced by traditional education, Ji Yu has never felt that liking the same sex is such a strange thing. Even though he has always thought that he is straight, he has never attributed gays to an ethnic group different from himself. .

More importantly, Ji Yu is also eager to find out what is going on with him.

Hearing Ji Yu's answer, Jiang Liu's expression dimmed instantly, and the pink color on his face disappeared completely, showing a kind of helpless paleness, which was particularly abrupt in the dim room.He took another step back, afraid that his approaching Ji Yu rashly would cause Ji Yu's disgust, or in other words, 'disgusting'.

"It's okay, I never thought you would accept it from the very beginning, if not... I'm not even going to confess to you. I don't intend to disturb you, please believe this no matter what." Jiang Liu's speech speed has never been slower As fickle as this sentence, the first half of the sentence is slow and low, and the second half of the sentence is suddenly accelerated and eager to explain.

"Jiang Liu, don't do this, I have to tell you clearly." Ji Yu spoke quickly, and moved his body to the door, blocking it firmly, blocking the only exit that Jiang Liu might escape. "I know the next words may be torture to you, but I still have to say it."

Ji Yu's eyes were indeed facing Jiang Liu's direction, but his focus went beyond Jiang Liu's body and looked further away. "I'm not sure about my feelings for you. We are friends. I appreciate your character and recognize your abilities. It's easy to stay with you. But obviously, when I'm with you and Wei Qiu It's different, to be more specific, I never took the initiative to touch him, even if I hooked up with him, I did it casually. But today, just now, I don't know why I made such a move."

"Maybe it's the reason I gave you. I just want to, but I can't tell if I'm thinking about it suddenly or thinking about it day and night." Ji Yu's focus slowly focused on Jiang Liu's face, "Jiang Liu, even if you have a crush on me once Girlfriend, I have no such experience. I need time, I have to figure out what I really think about you."

"I know this rhetoric sounds scumbag, as if I'm deliberately hanging on to you. But I really don't know if there is a better choice. Of course, you can also completely draw a line with me from now on, because I The final result of the entanglement may be that we can only be ordinary friends. This choice is in your hands."

After listening to Ji Yu's words, Jiang Liu also fell silent.Suddenly, he raised his footsteps and walked to the window, stretching out his hand to open the heavy curtains.The dust was blown up by the wind, and the orange-yellow sunlight in the afternoon completely poured into the room, reflecting the flying of dust in the air became more and more obvious.Jiang Liu leaned on the piano, turning her face to Ji Yu little by little.

His eyes are like the Mediterranean Sea when the sea is calm, and his expression is reminiscent of the bright sun after the heavy snow. Until many years later, this scene makes Ji Yu feel as clear as yesterday.

The delicate and elegant thin lips opened and closed, Jiang Liu said: "I planned to have a crush on you for the rest of my life. If you can think about it, I can wait. It doesn't matter how long it takes, it will never be longer than a lifetime."

I don't know when that person moved. When Ji Yu found out, he had already walked to the window and sat down in front of a black grand piano.He doesn't know the piano, he just thinks that the black paint on the surface of the piano is as bright as a mirror, which can reflect the angle of Jiang Liu, which is usually invisible.Ji Yu tried to get closer, but probably because he hadn't moved for a long time, his legs were a little numb.

Jiang Liu took off the watch on his wrist and put it on the piano, opened the cover of the keys, and lightly pressed a few keys with his left hand, as if to confirm the pitch.

The crisp sound of the piano echoed in the room, unable to connect to the tune, but exuded a wave of joy.The movements of his fingers are light, not strong and fierce, and feel closer to touching.Whenever the fingertips release force, the wooden keys will rebound quickly.A long string of notes flowed between chasing each other and influencing each other.

When Ji Yu knew that Jiang Liu could play the piano, he had imagined how he would play the piano. What kind of appearance would such a person sit on the piano bench?Such a pair of well-defined, well-proportioned and powerful hands seem to be born for playing musical instruments. When it dances, will there be phantoms and illusions?He used to really want to see it with his own eyes, but now, this wish is realized effortlessly, even dreaming is a more difficult way compared to it.

The music passed into his ears was very strange, and Ji Yu didn't know its source and background, and of course it was impossible to know its author.It just feels refreshing, smooth and relaxing.He suddenly regretted a little, and missed the best time to ask Jiang Liu 'why he likes himself this question'.

In his eyes, Jiang Liu is like a bug that God misplaced in the world, it shouldn't have appeared.He is so good, he seems to be omnipotent, but why would he fall in love with someone like himself?It's really not that Ji Yu looks down on himself or is modest, everyone will secretly rate himself in his heart.But Ji Yu's score for himself is actually far lower than everyone thinks.

He is self-willed and conceited and rarely attends unnecessary dinner parties outside of work, and he leaves all human relations to others, which is considered irresponsible; he is a level nine disabled who takes care of himself, does not work hard, and does not distinguish between grains and grains. Except for takeaway, he eats fast food Products, laundry and mopping the floor are even less sticky; he acts as he pleases and is self-centered. The appointment time in the morning may change in the afternoon. If you are not in the mood today, you will never go to an appointment.

From Ji Yu's point of view, he has big problems everywhere.

Jiang Liu, apart from the only defect that can be regarded as 'hypermemory' and his indifferent attitude towards ordinary people, Ji Yu feels that he can't find any other shortcomings.

Just like the online survey, 'If you were the opposite sex, would you marry yourself? '

Ji Yu felt that if he was a woman, he would never marry 'Ji Yu', but he would like to marry Jiang Liu.

But the current situation is that, no matter whether he is a woman or not, Jiang Liu will say that he will wait for him for the rest of his life.

From the perspective of biological evolution, any behavior that is not conducive to the optimization of species reproduction will be gradually eliminated in reproductive behavior, and same-sex unions obviously meet the criteria for being eliminated.However, it has been 35 billion years since organisms appeared on the earth. After such a long time, the phenomenon of same-sex unions has never stopped.From a biological perspective, this is an unsolved mystery.In addition to humans, there are almost 1500 species of homosexual or bisexual animals in the world, and there may be more that have not been found.There are also many "dew love affairs" among them that did not happen on a whim, and a large part of them have been with each other for many years, life and death, and are more consistent than human beings.

Some people say that homosexuality is determined by genes, and some people say that homosexuality can also be cultivated. Ji Yu doesn't think he is born, but he doesn't seem to be nurtured either.If it had been another man who had just kissed him, he would probably have felt very sick.

But, just because I don't reject his closeness, I'm going to take the road of bending myself...

His eyes were fixed on Jiang Liu, but his thoughts flew far away.Ji Yu seemed to be in deep thought, or in a daze.He didn't even notice that the song was over, just like he didn't notice when Jiang Liu walked to the piano and sat down.

"Don't think about it, it's not worth worrying about this matter." Jiang Liu's expression was so soft under the sun that it made people feel distressed, and her voice was calm like the warm wind in June, blowing Ji Yu's heart trembling.

Pulling out another piano bench, Ji Yuban lay on the piano cover, the look in his eyes still hasn't returned. "I don't want to procrastinate, it's not fair to you."

"My psychiatrist told me that love is inherently unfair. There is always one party who pays more, and this party is often the one who is tempted first. I have already been the one who is tempted first, so I can no longer expect fairness. Otherwise, I will not be fair." There will be no unrequited love." Jiang Liu was not so depressed, his emotions had basically calmed down after the song, and waiting for an answer that might be granted was not considered tormenting.

Ji Yu couldn't refute Jiang Liu's words. Adults who have entered the society know that there is no complete fairness in the world. "But the advantages of being earlier always outweigh the disadvantages. You think, I will give you the answer earlier. If it is yes, our relationship will come earlier. If it is no, you can also have more time to let go and heal."

Jiang Liu shook his head, "Ji Yu, if it's no, I'm just back to unrequited love, and it's probably impossible to let go."

"Jiang Liu..."

"You only have to think about yourself and don't think about me. I will never put pressure on you about this matter." Jiang Liu said frankly, "You are willing to love me because we are in love with each other. You don't want to love me because it is I'm going my own way."

Completely buried his face in the crook of his arms, Ji Yu's voice was muffled in his sleeves. "Then let it be..."

The sound of the piano is melodious, and the vibration of the air is transmitted from the fingertips to the strings and hammers, and it hits the wall and is reflected back.Ji Yu didn't look up again, he was very tired, just thinking about it for a while had consumed most of his energy.The combination of Jiang Liu's breathing and his melody made Ji Yu feel relaxed, and when he was sleepy, he fell asleep quietly lying on the piano like this.As the breathing rate slows, each exhalation and inhalation becomes extra long.Jiang Liu couldn't see Ji Yu's expression, but he had been paying attention to the other person's movements. At this moment, the strength in his hand was getting looser, and the sound of the piano was getting smaller and smaller, until it was completely silent.

Holding his breath for a long time, Jiang Liu didn't dare to let out the breath he had been holding until he was sure that Ji Yu had really fallen asleep.He looked at the snow outside the window, but felt very warm on his body. This was the first time Jiang Liu felt that Christmas could be enjoyed after losing his parents.

He just told Ji Yu that he would love him for the rest of his life not to put pressure on him, nor to show his loyalty. He is almost 30 years old, and even if he is a little emotional because of love, it will not be to the point of rambling.Before Ji Yu told him that he would think about it, Jiang Liu just had a premonition that he would always keep him in his heart, but after that sentence, Jiang Liu felt that he couldn't let go no matter what.

After returning to the UK, he went to see a psychiatrist several times. Sean told him that such sudden heartbeats mostly come from the deep desire in his heart, because the brain often arranges information independently and makes choices without going through "you" agreed.It's like a tidy program running hidden in the background.After that, the more you understand and the more information you get, the brain will make appropriate additions and subtractions based on the data you have already obtained, and finally decide whether it will change from goodwill to love.

Jiang Liu's own situation is special. The time of losing his parents and the time of illness are in the critical period of human growth. Like those children who were abused and abandoned in childhood, he lacks care extremely.Over the years, Jiang Liu has learned to hide his demands, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need them.Once you give him a rope, he will hold on to it, even if it is bloody.

And Ji Yu became this rope after giving Jiang Liu an amazing feeling.So in Sai'an's view, Jiang Liu's love is actually somewhat morbid.

Everyone's favorite type is related to the key experience of their own growth. If you are wrong, Jiang Liu is not wrong.Sean only hopes that this relationship can end peacefully, no matter what the result is, as long as it does not cause mental stimulation.

At that time, Jiang Liu thought for himself that he would not confess his love for the rest of his life, and if there was no response, there would naturally be no excitement.But today he realized that Ji Yu's character has determined that he will not let himself be stimulated.

Maybe the way of wording is far from being euphemistic and roundabout, but Ji Yu is expressing his seriousness and thoughts in his own way.He didn't put the person who was tempted first in the lower dock than himself to wait for his own trial. On the contrary, he put the other person on the opposite or even above him. To be honest, let the other party decide for themselves.

Jiang Liu really wanted to look at Ji Yu's face, but he didn't move, he just closed his eyes and recalled what happened just now in his mind...

In the dream, Ji Yu was still in the piano room, and it was still snowing outside.He walked to the window, and saw the magnificently decorated Christmas tree outside at a glance. The stars at the top shone dazzlingly in the sun, making it impossible for his eyes to stay on it.

Closing his eyes and turning back into the room, he felt that the position of the piano seemed to be different.Ji Yu didn't know those pianos, but only remembered the appearance of the one played by Jiang Liu. His steps were very light, leaving no sound on the ground.The piano room without curtains to block the sunlight is very bright, and there is almost no dark corner at a glance, but I don’t know the reason, maybe it can be said to be intuition, or someone summoned it, Ji Yu felt that he should go to that corner first look inside.

It was only a few steps away, but Ji Yu walked cautiously. With every step, the heel landed first, and the whole palm and toes gradually dropped.Soon, he found that the piano in the corner was the one used by Jiang Liu, and curiously walked to the piano bench, he suddenly saw a little boy lying on his side in a ball.

He obviously has long hands and long legs, but he insists on shrinking himself to the size of a piano bench.

Crouching down to look at his face, Ji Yu stood up hurriedly in shock.

The child was not asleep, his eyes were wide open, the whites of the eyes were densely covered with red blood, and the gray-blue irises were almost squeezed out of place by the dilated pupils.The eyes that should have been beautiful and energetic lost their spirit and were lifeless.

But this was not the reason why Ji Yu was so surprised that he was dumbfounded. The real reason was that this child was Jiang Liu from childhood.The facial features that are extremely similar to the present and the aura similar to the slightly blurred figure in the photo album all tell Ji Yu that this handsome boy who looks like a doll must be Jiang Liu.

Just as he was about to speak to Jiang Liu, Ji Yu heard a hasty knock on the door. The person who knocked on the door was very anxious and was about to rush in in the next second, but it was obvious that the other party did not have the conditions to rush in at this moment. .The solid wood door is exquisite and thick, and it cannot be opened unless it is mechanically assisted after it is locked from the inside.

"Master William! Master William! Are you in there? If you are, let me know!"

Perhaps it was because he was in a dream, the extremely clear shouting sound rushed into Ji Yu's ears, and he immediately recognized the owner of the voice as the housekeeper.

Turning around and taking another look at Jiang Liu, he was still in that posture, without even blinking his eyelids.Ji Yu walked towards the door. He wanted to unlock the door and let the housekeeper in. He was really worried about Jiang Liu's state, and he had to let someone familiar with his situation solve the problem.

Stretching his hand towards the door lock, Ji Yu had just grasped it when he realized that he had passed through the metal doorknob directly. He retracted his hand reflexively and let his hands clasp in the air to confirm whether he could touch it. Own.The touch of his fingertips wasn't quite real, but he did grab his hand.After taking a few deep breaths, he stretched out his hand again. This time, Ji Yu didn't hold back his hand, and passed through the metal handle and the thick wooden door very calmly.

Quickening his pace, Ji Yu stepped out of the piano room and stood in the corridor he had walked through.

The butler stood at the door with an anxious expression, his fists clenched tightly, his white gloves were almost smashed to pieces, and there were creases everywhere due to excessive force.He kept calling Jiang Liu inside while turning his head to the side, as if he was waiting for someone.

Ji Yu now understands his identity as a bystander. He seems to have entered a memory, and he can only watch it, unable to change it.

Before he saw the person, Ji Yu had already heard footsteps not far away, and he opened his eyes wide, hoping to distinguish the identity of the other party at the first time.Living up to expectations, he recognized the man as soon as he showed his head. It was Grandpa Donald.

"Master! You are here, and Master William is inside, but he won't open the door no matter how you call him." The butler hurried up to meet him, and quickly explained the situation. "We didn't find the spare key. Master William should have taken it himself. But please rest assured, master, I have already contacted the locksmith, and I will be there in 10 minutes."

The fast walking made the elderly Grandpa Donald a little out of breath. After calming down his breathing, he nodded to the butler, signaling him to stand aside, while he walked to the door.

"William, it's okay to want independent space and freedom, but you have to prove that you have the value to make me compromise! Do you think you can have these by shutting yourself in, I tell you, it's a big mistake! Do this What you have is definitely not peace, but a cage that you think is peaceful!"

Grandpa Donald's words were resounding, he narrowed his eyes and his lips trembled slightly, "William, you have to learn to face it from the time you lost your parents. I will not force you out, but you must understand that I will never let you be like this." People who only know how to escape rot and stink in this significant piano room!"

After the thick voice resounded through the hearts of the people, it finally returned to calm. Ji Yu stood there with his head down, unable to see his expression clearly, but his hands were fisted, and his veins protruded a lot.

Suddenly, the sound of the piano came out of the piano room overwhelmingly, as urgent as calling for help, mourning as shouting, and angry as roaring.The person playing the piano seems to burst out all the negative emotions that he suppressed in his heart at once, using the strings as his own voice, roaring, whistling, and using all his strength...

Ji Yu knew this piece, it was called "Yellow River Cantata".

Jiang Liu frantically pressed the keys inside, while Ji Yu silently recited the lyrics outside with red eyes: the wind is roaring, the horse is screaming, the Yellow River is roaring...

Realizing that Ji Yu was not sleeping soundly, Jiang Liu quickly withdrew his hand and stood up from the piano bench and walked to him to check.Before he could see Ji Yu's face clearly, he heard Ji Yu's muttering, carefully distinguishing that he was reciting the lyrics of the Yellow River Cantata.After struggling beside him for a while, Jiang Liu patted Ji Yu's back and called him in a low voice: "Ji Yu, Ji Yu! Wake up!"

The gentle shaking made Ji Yu withdraw his consciousness from the dream, he slowly raised his head, rubbed his eyes, and took away a drop of clear tears with his fingertips.Suddenly, he saw a vague shadow.

"Ji Yu?"

"Jiang Liu?" Ji Yu knew from the sound that the person standing in front of him with his waist hooked was Jiang Liu, and the scene in his dream that hadn't gone far made his eyes turn red again, and the next second, Ji Yu stretched out his arms He hugged Jiang Liu, clasped the back of his head with one hand, and buried his head into his neck.

"Ji Yu? What's wrong with you?" Jiang Liu, who was hugged, was surprised and at a loss, with both hands raised in the air, not knowing where to put them.

Putting his face on his body, Ji Yu's voice was muffled and indistinct in the air, but it was clearly heard in Jiang Liu's body.

"Jiang Liu, I dreamed of you. When you were a child, you locked yourself in the piano room and refused to open the door, lying on your side on the piano bench without moving."

"Jiang Liu, you play the Yellow River Cantata inside, as if you are hitting the piano with your fist."

"Jiang Liu, Grandpa Donald said that you need to prove your worth to make him willing to compromise. I think his method is too radical, but I can't give him a better choice."

"Jiang Liu, I know this is a dream, but to be honest, I love you very much."

"Jiang Liu, I know you can't forget the past, so keep it forever, and take it out once in a while to savor it, so that you can know how good the present is. That's not bad, isn't it?"

Letting go of his hand, Ji Yu faced Jiang Liu again.The two looked at each other and smiled, and Jiang Liu rubbed his fingers against the red mark on Ji Yu's face from sleeping on his stomach, "Ji Yu, since I met you, every time I recall it is you. Only satisfaction, No more pain."

"Don't feel sorry for me, I will be upset."

"Ji Yu, I'm fine now."