The ghost king wants to walk the road of flowers

After the mortal world was occupied by the rapid development of technology and general materialists, Shi Fangxuan, the current ghost king of Beiluofeng, rarely traveled in the human world.

It came out this time entirely because ghost mouths have risen sharply in recent years, and Hades is full.A group of little devils shouted and shouted, they must learn from the reform of the mortal world, reorganize the system of the underworld, optimize the internal structure, and issue policies to the outside world.It is better to formulate a "planned death policy". Human beings who are about to die of old age or disease should give them a few more years of life as soon as possible, and the average age of human beings will increase by 80 or [-] years.You can’t accept more than two people for a day of suicide. Don’t come to other suicides. Let them think about it.

A few ghost officials couldn't do anything else. They wrote more policy papers with their toes every day than ordinary people's college entrance examination homework. They came to Shi Fangxuan with stacks of papers to offer advice.Seeing that Shi Fangxuan's head is splitting into eight petals and it hurts, he might as well walk in the world himself. It is best to be able to learn from "humans" to control "ghosts". enlightenment.

Shi Fangxuan was sitting at the soybean milk stand at the street corner, dressed as a modern person.Wearing a black turtleneck sweater, a camel woolen coat, straight trousers that set off his slender legs, and shiny leather boots gleaming in the sun.The ghost king who often lives in the underworld has snow-white skin and a glamorous and beautiful appearance. Even if he is dressed as a mortal, it is enough to attract the attention of everyone passing by.

It's a pity that Shi Fangxuan miscalculated the season when dressing, and forgot that it was summer.Therefore, the passers-by who looked at him looked more or less like they were looking at a psychopath.

Shi Fangxuan rested his chin on his chin and leaned his elbows on the rickety, rickety table of the soya-bean milk stand. He heard the surrounding aunts urging their children to marry and raise their children, and he sighed secretly.

Ordinary parents can't hold their grandchildren, so they make fun of their children at home, go out to temples to pray for blessings, and make fun of the Emperor of Heaven.The emperor of heaven holds meetings every year, shouting to improve fertility, and making fun of the underworld.But the fertility rate is against them, going backwards year after year.In the third and fourth years, I ran backwards.

It's not that Shi Fangxuan is not distressed.

Now the underground is not easy to manage, and all kinds of ghosts and ghosts run into it.The speed of coming is so fucking fast, it doubles every day, the samsara disk is almost limped by them, and there are dense ghosts, big and small, in the back.The speed of life cannot keep up with the speed of death, no way.Some people say that it is too tiring to be a human, and it is better to be a ghost. Lai refuses to leave in the underworld, and becomes a professional nail household.

The old man of the Emperor of Heaven deliberately made things difficult for him, asking him not to increase his growth rate in the next year, but to roll into the world to be a horse and let people ride him for the rest of his life.

Shi Fangxuan let out a cold snort from his nose: "Want me to be ridden by someone for the rest of my life? It's your Tianji first year dream." He drank the soybean milk in one gulp, threw down two dollars, got up and put it in his pocket and left .

The people on the street suddenly retreated into two rows, making way for someone.Behind Shi Fangxuan came a car decorated with white flowers, followed by a band and a howling team.

The float moved forward smoothly on the road, but the tire ran over a piece of watermelon rind and slipped suddenly.It stands to reason that such a small accident should not be taken to heart by drivers who are familiar with driving experience.But this unlucky driver was a novice, subconsciously wanted to step on the brakes.Excited, he stepped on the gas pedal, and the white float rushed out with a swish.

Passers-by on the street screamed and ran around without a trace.

There was a curve ahead, and the float was about to hit a store.The driver punched wildly, turned the steering wheel quickly, and accidentally hit and bumped into a rapid drift.

Shi Fangxuan stood at the exit of his drift, walking slowly with his back to the car, the driver honked his horn, urging him to get out of the way.

He fears the current ghost king of the underworld.Born in the world thousands of years ago, he has to be hit by a car every time he returns to the human world. He has already engraved his dodging skills in his heart.

Shi Fangxuan took a deep breath, stood up on his toes, and jumped up, leaping quite high.Based on his knowledge of this type of car, he knows how high the jump should be easily avoided.He was sure that his jump, not more than one centimeter and not less than a millimeter, was able to pass over the roof of the car and land perfectly behind the car.

Unexpectedly, a large wreath was placed on the white float, a few inches high.

The car crashed like an arrow from the string, directly hitting his spine.

Shi Fangxuan stared wide-eyed and flew 30 meters in the air.At that time, a truck that violated the rules and ran a red light was speeding, turned around and hit him for a round, and then flew tens of meters in the air.

Suffered in two consecutive car accidents!

Shi Fangxuan was sure that he had eaten the fruit of luck given by Mrs. You, and the double-kill gift came as a surprise.

His landing hit a stall by the way.

When he fell into the stall, he was eager to know who was the culprit of today's "car accident".He quickly searched for the root cause of today's car accident in the law of development of all things.

He recalled the piece of watermelon rind that the float had run over. According to the rind of the watermelon, he saw a girl who ate the watermelon this morning and threw it on the ground.The girl was holding a fashion magazine with the cover of one of today's top idols in her hand.Back home, the girl carefully cut off the cover of the magazine with a knife, pasted it on the wall, and stared at the wall for ten minutes.Immediately afterwards, the girl walked to the bed, threw off the slippers on her feet, and threw herself into the bed.He took out his phone and swiped Weibo.

I don't know what content was swiped, the girl's face gradually turned blue, and she was panting with difficulty.She pressed her fingers quickly on the phone, typed a word, and sent it.

Shi Fangxuan carefully looked at the keys her fingers pressed, and saw that she pressed: "ni, ma, ling, che, piao, yi!"

Shifang Xuan was a little dizzy, and the image in front of him trembled violently like a TV ten years ago without wires.The screen sizzles and disappears.He shook his head, trying to use mana again, but he felt as weak as a deflated rubber ball all over his body, and he couldn't use any force.

"This... this gentleman, you, are you alright?" The middle-aged man dressed as a butcher poked his head out to observe Shi Fangxuan who was slumped on his stall.His complexion looked worse than Shi Fangxuan's.

The business stall was smashed up, and the person who fell to the ground did not know whether he was dead or alive. Even if the culprit was not him, the business would not be easy to do in the future.

At this moment, Shi Fangxuan noticed that the hundred meters around him were full of people stopping to watch the excitement.Discussing whether he died, why he didn't move, and where he flew here from.

Shi Fangxuan got up from the ground, and the people around him screamed in fright.Shouted: "Blood! Blood!"

The butcher wiped the sweat from his forehead: "First, sir, do you want to call an ambulance for you?"

"I'm fine, what ambulance to call?" Shi Fangxuan patted the dust off his body.Suddenly, he felt his body wet, and a hand was slapped with red blood.He frowned and gave a suspicious "hmm".

Naturally, it couldn't be his blood.

He brought his blood-stained hand to his nose and sniffed it. His already white face suddenly turned whiter, and his lips instantly turned blue frost.

He asked the butcher, "What is this?"

The butcher tremblingly asked, "Isn't this your blood?"

"It's my blood, can I still stand here and talk to you?"

The butcher's breath suddenly relaxed: "Then it should be my bowl of dog blood."

Shi Fangxuan's nervous expression softened by two points: "It's just dog blood?" It's just that dog blood is fine, his magic power disappears for two hours, and he will come back.It's just that after being hit by a car chain and flying into a bowl of dog blood, it's a terrible thing.

The butcher shook his head and said "more than that", and smiled: "There is also cinnabar for suppressing ghosts and demons in it. A Taoist priest who passed by gave it to me this morning, saying that it can ward off evil spirits and attract wealth."

Shi Fangxuan was dumbfounded suddenly, a beating heart seemed to grow out of his chest.Soon, he comforted himself: small problem, don't panic.

The cinnabar refined by Taoist priests who are not deep in practice can suppress him for two or three seconds at most, and it may not be enough.It's not as fierce as a bowl of dog blood.

Shi Fangxuan took a deep breath and asked curiously, "Did that Taoist tell you where he came from? Can cinnabar work?"

The butcher thought for a while: "I don't know where he came from. But he said that this cinnabar is from the Temple of the Emperor of Heaven, and it is effective. Hehe, I think so too. Look at you, you didn't die after flying so far." The butcher smiled as if thanks to his cinnabar blood, Shi Fangxuan was able to "recover a life".

In Shi Fangxuan's expression, in an instant, the ice and snow covered the ground as if it had solidified.

After a long time, his body swayed, as if the emperor of heaven suddenly split a hole in his body.

It took him a long time to start working in his heart: I'm fucking dying!The Emperor of Heaven played me in circles in different ways!

His hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't say a word for a long time.

Pulling on the collar of the sweater, Shi Fangxuan began to feel that this ghostly day was getting a little hot.