look back again

Chapter 1

Lin Chen did not expect that five years later, he would still see Lu Yuanhang, and it was still in such an undefended situation.

That day, the weather was fine, the sky was clear, and the white clouds hung leisurely in the sky, wandering leisurely, so carefree, he who had been living in a small house was forcefully kicked out by his mother, euphemistically saying: " If you don't go out for a walk, you're going to rot!"

In fact, everyone understands where the problem is, but no one is going to pierce the wall. In the eyes of the Lin family's parents who thought time would heal everything, after five years, their worries have changed from being relieved at the beginning. uneasy.Because the former unsmiling but still optimistic Lin Chen is gone. Although he has grown along the path arranged by them now, the more he gets along, the more he understands that some things have changed. Since five years ago, he has only one The body, for those so-called worldly things, lives like a walking dead, but they have been deluding themselves that he will get better.

Mother Lin was particularly distressed. For five full years, she thought that time was a good medicine, and she thought it had succeeded at first, because since that day, his son was still living as before, as if that person had never appeared at all. She thought everything was back on track, and her son was still the one she was proud of before.But gradually, her heart ached, Lin Chen would still smile at them, but there was no joy in the smile, his body seemed to be empty, without soul, he became unwilling to go out and make friends, he seemed to be It was as if he wanted to lock himself up in this besieged city to rot. Even if he was sent abroad to study for three years, it still didn't work. The only result was that they became more alienated.

They can't be blamed for being cruel, they really can't accept the love of two men, not to mention that they are not real men, what can teenagers understand, their precious son must have been seduced by others.But this idea is slowly deteriorating day by day, perhaps, they are wrong.

So today when Lin Chen finally finished his studies and returned to China, Lin's mother decided to let him go out for a walk, no matter what he was doing, even if it was to bask in the sun.Yes, whatever it is.Now Lin's mother can finally understand how cruel they were at the beginning, not only killed a love, but also pushed her son far away, and she still doesn't know where he pushed him, but she But she was already powerless to stop it. When she thought of her old man who was getting older and more stubborn, she really had nothing to say.

But her son is slowly rotting, and one day, he will disappear completely...

The sunshine is really good. Lin Chen walked slowly on the street with people coming and going, without any purpose. He just walked like this, looking at this increasingly strange world. But in his eyes, it was strange as if he had just arrived. Many memories were buried by him, and even his parents, who he tried desperately to please, became strange because of the years when he went out to study. .

He knows that his parents are old, and what they need most now is his care. He knows that no one can replace him in their hearts. Now let the time alienate them, even if they just stay with them and talk.

However, he couldn't do it. The problem of resisting communicating with strangers has always been his heart disease. As far as he remembers, it was cured in just one year, and it was that person who strongly participated in it.But how difficult it is to meet such a person, so difficult that he still remembers it vividly.

Lin Chen felt that he had become so clumsy. There seemed to be an invisible barrier between him and his parents, which restrained him from the beginning to the end. He couldn't move forward, he could only retreat.This place is like a black hole, all his youth is buried here, including his heart.No matter how far he went, he couldn't open his heart again.

Lin Chen has never told anyone about it. Up to now, he will be awakened by the scene five years ago, and then he cannot fall asleep all night. His mother's screaming and crying, his father's blood on his hands and those two disgusting The entangled body will always entangle him until dawn when he dreams back at midnight. Then, Lin Chen, who has always been ignorant of the world, understands many things. Mu Naru, he was forced to taste betrayal and despair, youthful persistence and love. Love disappears overnight.

When the wind blows, even standing under the sun or in the hottest afternoon, as long as there is a little wind, it can make Lin Chen tremble. He is timid. It has been five years, and he is still so timid and afraid A little wind and grass around me.

He was a little tired before walking far, so he casually sat down on a bench by the side of the road, and then looked aimlessly at the pedestrians coming and going like countless times.

This kind of blankness will also make him feel at ease, letting time pass by his side aimlessly. At the longest time, he can sit in a strange place for a whole day.

Then, his eyes were attracted by a man walking slowly, and just like that, he couldn't look away anymore.

***

It's been five years, Lin Chen thought his heart was already dead and rotted in his chest, but when he saw him again, the suffocating pain still existed, Lin Chen had to clench his fists hard to hold back He cried out in pain, he was still the same him, still radiant like that, even if he was walking on the street, the most dazzling person was still him.

It's just that the hair has become much shorter, less handsome and more capable from the inside out. He and his memory have changed a lot. What remains the same is that the eyes are still so big, but they are no longer overbearing. , It became black and deep, squinting slightly in the sun, and strangers are not allowed to enter.Now he has completely transformed into a mature and stable young man.Lin Chen had imagined countless times what he would become in the future, a man who could touch people's hearts with a smile?Will it make him feel uneasy about his excellence countless times?Will he be fascinated by his big and bright peach blossom eyes forever?meeting…….

This is the distance in the past five years Lu Yuanhang, you are still the same you, and I was crushed five years ago.You can live unrestrained and unrestrained, but I, who was played by you, lost my smile forever in your shadow. Your reckless behavior ruined my entire youth and my stable home. How ironic it is.Do you still remember that Lin Chen who liked to follow you silently, that idiot who believed in you like a fool, and was even willing to turn against his family for you?

Time seemed to have stopped, and even the sounds from outside could not enter Lin Chen's ears at all. He just forgot to cover up and watched Lu Yuanhang walking slowly across the road, turning a corner, almost In an instant, it was out of his sight.

Another second, even if it is just one more second, this is the first time Lin Chen met Lu Yuanhang in five years, and he finally understood what is so close and far away. Seeing this person again, Lin Chen found that besides hatred, What I miss more is that for so many years, this is the first person who walked into my heart, the first person who would call my name loudly, the first person who likes to hug me tightly and say I like it, the first person who He would put his cold hands on his chest in the cold winter... Too many first times made Lin Chen forget everything at once, and acted recklessly according to his own will.

He stood up from the chair suddenly, and almost hurriedly ran towards the direction where Lu Yuanhang disappeared. He didn't want to do anything, he just wanted to take another look, but he didn't know whether he stood up too hastily or sat down. It's been too long, and I felt dizzy when I got up, and it was too late to stop the strides, and Lin Chen fell to the ground hard.

Severe pain came from his hands and feet. The hand that was supporting the ground pressed on a stone, and it was scratched, and a faint bright red blood flowed out. Lin Chen stared blankly at his palm, but no matter how much Even the pain couldn't resist the pain in his heart, his heart seemed to be whipped hard by a thorny whip, which completely woke Lin Chen up.

five years?So what can five years be, it's not enough, Lu Yuanhang, I can't forget you at all, even if I deceive the whole world, I can't lie to myself, I can't forget you at all, the tears that I thought had been shed already fell down again , the next five years, there are countless five years, how should I get through it...

***

"Are you OK?"

A man with glasses squatted down in front of Lin Chen, frowned after seeing the injury on his hand, and then took out a band-aid and a wet tissue from the shopping bag beside him.

Lin Chen subconsciously withdrew his hand the moment he held his hand, but was pulled back forcefully by that person. His hand was so big that it completely wrapped Lin Chen's hand, with an unquestionable strength , his palms were warm and dry, and did not make people feel offended, I saw him carefully wipe the dust on Lin Chen's hands with a wet tissue.

"No matter how small the wound is, it must be treated well, otherwise the small wound will become a big wound or even kill you."

Having said that, he pasted a bandage with a faint smell of disinfectant on Lin Chen's palm.

"Thank you..." Lin Chen could only thank him subconsciously, it was always difficult for him to refuse such a familiar person.

"Good boy, fortunately, you know how to say thank you, so you won't fall into a fool."

Lin Chen could clearly feel the man's kindness. Behind his glasses, there was a pair of warm eyes with a smile, but what he said made Lin Chen feel a little embarrassed. He completely treated himself like a child.

"Okay, little lost lamb, I'll go first, goodbye."

The man simply stood up, picked up the shopping bag and walked away as if nothing had happened. Lin Chen sighed, "Little lamb, what adjective is this?"He was in his late twenties anyway, and he didn't bother to entangle this issue with a stranger, so he stood up and continued to walk the path he should go.

Everything just now has settled down, just like all the previous memories, Lin Chen is used to this, isn't he?I hide all these deeply in my heart, like a small wound in the palm of my hand, ignore it, let them slowly deteriorate, even if it is rotten and painful, I will not take it out. This is what he has been doing for the past five years. Learn something.

It's getting late, let's go home.

Lin Chen looked at the sky lazily. The sun had already hidden in the clouds. If he didn't go home, his family would be worried.I can no longer worry them. After losing love, the only thing I have is family affection...

***

"Mom, I'm back."

As soon as he entered the house, Lin Chen could smell the food, and Mother Lin was already waiting in the living room.When she heard the sound, she immediately walked out from inside.

"Hungry, the meal is ready."

"Ah."

Lin Chen responded in a low voice, turned sideways and prepared to go back to the room to change clothes before coming out.And Mother Lin stood awkwardly, as if she wanted to say something, but facing such a silent Lin Chen, she couldn't say anything.She always felt that Lin Chen erected a high wall between them, pushing them further and further away.

"Mom, is there anything else?"

Seeing that Mother Lin didn't move, Lin Chen added a question.

"Oh, it's okay, it's okay, your father won't be home for dinner today, he has to work overtime."

After finishing speaking, she quickly turned around to hide the tears she was about to shed. As a mother, she always thought that they could get out of that time and start again, but after five years, she found that she was wrong.Her child has been bleeding and has never stopped. They can use family affection to prevent him from giving up their love, but the pain in their hearts is beyond their power. They think that the time to help them is five years later. Today, it is no longer a good medicine...

Son, are we doing something wrong?

It's not that Lin Chen didn't see his mother's tears, he just didn't know how to comfort her, he couldn't think of what else he could do to make them feel at ease, he didn't know like a child who did something wrong What should be used to remedy.

Lin Chen, who came out after changing his clothes, decided on one thing.

"Mom, I found a job, the place is far away from home, I want to move out."

This is the only way, just like five years ago, he chose to study abroad, away from this familiar and scary place.

"You've only been back for a few days..."

Lin's mother sighed lightly, this son has only been back for a few days, and he is about to go out again. Does staying at home make you suffer so much?

Mother Lin looked at Lin Chen's slightly pale face, and all her reluctance turned into a sigh.

"Okay, you, have you chosen your house? Do you want to prepare something for you? We still have a little money to—"

"No, no, I'm ready."

In a word, all the concerns that Mother Lin could think of were blocked in her heart. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad that her son was so independent. In the end, she just said something blankly.

"Lin Chen, are you blaming us?"

Lin Chen looked up at his guilty mother in a panic, and found that she had aged rapidly in the past few years, and her temples were all white, but he still vaguely remembered her beauty, fragrant and gentle, like a flower.Lin Chen was silent for a moment, then spoke lightly.

"No, I'm just blaming myself."

I fell in love with someone I shouldn't love...

***

The author has something to say:

I haven't written for a long time, my hands are a little rusty, please forgive me

This is the first time I write an article here, it is still very fresh, and I will update it slowly~~~