jealous tail

I went into rehab and was there for a year.

The dose that Jinyeyu gave me was enough and the concentration was high. At that time, my nerves were paralyzed and I was in temporary shock. If it was any later, I would have died there.

But I was still rescued by Du Tingwei.

He can always find me, anywhere, at any time, he can find me and save me.

Even though my answer to him was no, he still went to find me, in the rented house, in the department store, in the hotel where he worked, in the place he applied for, and finally at Jinyeyu’s house.

I don't know what Du Tingwei would think when he saw a room full of semen and blood, me lying unconscious on the floor, and Jin Yeyu kneeling on the ground dead.

But I dare not ask him, dare not look at him, he dare not see me, dare not love me, we all feel that each other will be hurt because of ourselves, and become sad, so we dare not touch easily, just To be able to stand at both ends of parallel lines all the time, looking at each other, unable to intersect.

Our nondescript three sides completely collapsed with the death of the golden leaf elm, but the remaining two lines could not become a circle.

Love is rooted deep in the soul, it is nourished by all our emotions, even hatred and disappointment, and it is incredible that the more we avoid it, the stronger it is.

I didn't give up on Du Tingwei because of Jin Yeyu. I'm not that great. When Jin Yeyu dies, I will always guard him like a jade to commemorate him. I have already ended with him. I don't hate him. This is the limit. I gave up on Du Tingwei because Myself.

When I was in a private hospital, I received a lot of inexplicable care, but he never showed up. I asked the nurse anxiously, and the nurse said she didn’t know. He never appeared when I was awake, even if I forced myself to be awake, but There were also times when he was forced to sleep by injecting drugs, and he appeared at that time.

After waking up, the back of my hand after the infusion would not hurt, my eyes would not be sore after crying, and my calves would become soft after being pressed.

And I no longer expect him to appear, it started from the first time I had withdrawal behavior.

I was inexplicably sick every day. The porridge I ate vomited all over the floor, staining the bed and clothes, and there were goosebumps all over my arms and back, which was so ugly.

When my stomach hurts, my spine bends, like a seahorse, with snot and tears streaming down my face, sometimes I wrap myself in cotton when it’s cold, and sometimes I rush under the faucet when it’s hot.

The most embarrassing thing was that sometimes I became incontinent, and even the pleasant-looking nurse refused to touch me in disgust.

Just like this, I can still endure it until I recover from illness, and then I can go to Du Tingwei, but it is not so easy to get rid of poison.

I became confused for the first time. I grabbed the nurse and asked her for drugs, and even pinched her. The doctor was shocked by me, because I was the least like an addict, but unfortunately he overestimated me.

I thought that I would only be physically addicted, not psychologically, but when I had that behavior for the first time, I was afraid, because I didn't have any strong willpower at all.

I was sober for a while when the golden leaf elm was injected, so I experienced that hallucinogenic pleasure soberly for a moment, and I was a little bit addicted.

Since this behavior, I have become taciturn. I began to be afraid of seeing Du Tingwei, more afraid than death. I was afraid that I would suddenly behave like Jin Yeyu, hurt him in an unconscious state, and even kill him. drop him.

When people are mentally confused, they can do nothing. I am afraid that even if I say die together, he will agree.

I don't, I don't want this kind of ending, even if he likes me, I don't want it, I don't want tragedy to happen to him, the two of us have been ruined, I want him to have a better life, it may be difficult to forget me, but always Hard to die.

I escaped, I know this private sanatorium was prepared by Du Tingwei for me, but as long as he is here, he can't help but look at me, his heart will soften, and his heart will be hurt by me.

I went to a very remote drug rehabilitation center. Although it was small and the conditions were not good, it was quite formal. It was not a mandatory drug rehabilitation center, but a profit-making place. After paying the money, there would be no dark plots like movies.

Only by escaping to this kind of place will he not be able to get in, and he will not be harmed by me.

Life in a drug rehab center is uncomfortable, but it’s not bad. It will make you forget a lot of painful things, and you can also experience a long-lost sense of relaxation and joy.

Since he wants to curb drug addiction for you, he will not let you be free. You have to live a step-by-step life, doing monotonous labor every day, picking beans, making plastic flowers, tearing cigarette butts, and making lanterns.

Sometimes we would compete, and the winner would give the other side the rare meat scraps from the dinner.

I can control it very well, and the instructor said that I am the best at it, and I have never had an addiction.

I have a coup, every time I want to be addicted, I tell myself that this is ugly, Du Tingwei will hate it, so I will calm down slowly, and a few times the hallucinations are serious, I will use a pen to write Du Tingwei all over my body, so that You can see it when you are in trouble.

In this way, everyone knew about Du Tingwei. Someone teased me and asked me if it was my wife's name. I was afraid that Du Tingwei's reputation would be ruined, so I said, that was my brother's name.

They asked me, after a long time, you are a reorganized family, and they asked again, most of the reorganized families have dogs, so do you have a dog?Your brother's name is really nice, what's the dog's name.

I said, there is a dog, the Chinese Pastoral Dog, named Xiadu.

They ate edamame and nodded in agreement, um, it was quite satisfying.

My body is much better than before. Every day, the institute will force me to exercise. I have two packs of abs. If this continues, I will become the first in Beijing.

I have a bead on my body, which you have never seen before. It contains an eyeball of Jinyeyu.

His body was disposed of. I heard from the police that it was not Du Tingwei who handled it, but a doctor. He asked Du Tingwei, who is a family member, to let him be buried. Du Tingwei agreed. I guess he didn't even want to look at Jin Yeyu. Can't wait for others to take it away.

The doctor came to look for me the day I entered the hospital. Rich people are really powerful, and they can find me anywhere. I was so naive, I thought Du Tingwei couldn’t find me hiding here. Now that I think about it, he can even find me in a small hotel. , I couldn’t find such a large institute, but he didn’t dare to see me, and I refused to see him.

The doctor looked very young, not as domineering as I imagined, and it was difficult for me to associate him with a mistress who was crying and fighting for favor on the phone.

He said that he was 32 years old, but I couldn't see it at all. I looked carefully and found that his eyebrows and eyes looked a bit like mine. It should be said that I resembled him, after all, he was born earlier than me.

He is very kind, and speaks warmly, unlike the voice on the phone back then, maybe he is just one of Jin Yeyu's harem, the kind who likes to keep himself in order, but Jin Yeyu should still like him more, otherwise he won't be always With a smell of disinfectant.

He told me about Jin Yeyu's death, and because the body was incomplete, he was cremated at the request of the Du family.

There are also two separate eyeballs, made of glass beads, he took them out without fear of scaring me, and I have been trained to be indestructible.

He gave me one, begging me, can I give him the other, I actually want to give him both, although I am not afraid of that thing, after all, it has been with me for so long and seen me so many times, I just don't think it's necessary, and I don't see things and think about people, so what do I do with this.

When the doctor looked at the eyeballs, he would show a unique tenderness. I have seen that kind of tenderness, so I feel sorry, so pitiful. I think the relationship between him and Jin Yeyu is not as heartless as Jin Yeyu said.

It would be great if everything in this world can be harmonious and beautiful. You only love me, and I only love you. No misunderstanding or miss will let true love go away.

"You take one, it's his last wish after all, it's good to live in peace, folks say that the soul is floating in the first year after death, if you don't do what he wants, his soul will not rest in peace, disturbing you every day. "

The doctor advised me so.

"Okay, then I'll take it for a year, and take both away. Doesn't he want to see me? Give him time this year. When he has seen enough, reincarnated, and reborn, I'll give it to you."

I answered him like this, although what he said was different from my custom, but it was enough to make Jin Yeyu feel at ease.

So I took two glass balls and pressed them under the pillow. Although he was the direct cause of my current situation, I couldn't escape the root cause. Both of us were blind, please forgive each other.

I probably can't forget Jinyeyu, but it's not because I can't forget it as a person I once loved, or because I can't forget it because of debts and longings, or sometimes I can't help but feel sad when I think about it.

Because in this world, there is no second golden leaf elm that can recommend myself for me.

I also regarded him as a family member, so all my memories of him, like all those who have lost their loved ones, will be sad, cry, and may be slowly forgotten over time, or may be remembered forever.

It's just that this memory has nothing to do with love, it's just the unforgettable light that shines through the dark clouds at a certain moment.

Tomorrow's grand finale, Kong: The grand finale will pull me into whoring for nothing