contract marriage

In the calm darkness, wavy water patterns pass by the fingertips.

Tang Rui slowly opened his eyes, the soft light emitted by the chandelier on the ceiling, as if an invisible gentle hand gently brushed away the wet and cold water vapor and haze in London outside the window.

"I'm married." He half-lyed in a comfortable chair, his tone was calm, and it seemed to burst out the most beautiful notes and verses from the tip of his tongue.

"Oh, this is really surprising. Two months ago, you were still upset about a crazy admirer. Can you talk about her?" The psychiatrist's gentle and peaceful voice was full of curiosity and concern. The patient brought up marriage, and she knew that her handsome and kind patient needed to be heard.

The corner of the mouth raised a slight arc, Tang Rui looked out the window at the gray city that was drenched in rain, his eyes were soft: "It's not her, it's him."

After staying in Fernanda with Sherland for two days, Tang Rui flew back to London by plane. After meeting his friend Ralph, he went back to the hotel to rest for a day. On Tuesday, he met with the psychiatrist at the agreed time.

"He must love you very much." Dr. Johnson has been Tang Rui's psychologist for several years. Tang Rui is not only her patient, but also her friend.

She appreciates this young man with outstanding character, and as a mother of two children in her early fifties, Tang Rui's terrible childhood and missing family life made her more patient and gentle with patients.

"I don't know..." Frowning, Tang Rui's Adam's apple slid up and down and swallowed hard. In Dr. Johnson's office, he didn't need any disguise. He unreservedly released the fear and anxiety deep in his heart, The two lips trembled slightly after being frozen for a long time, and said slowly and with difficulty, "He needs me, longs for me, but I don't know if this counts as love, I don't know..."

I don't know what love is, and I don't know what it's like to be loved.

His father abandoned him and his mother did not love him.

He has real parents and family but never owned either of them, he has half-siblings and half-siblings who never acknowledge his existence.

Li Dongming said he loved him, but when he sat on the cold steps outside Li Dongming's apartment all night, Li Dongming didn't even open the door.

This was more like a short and sweet lie, a glass of sweet wine mixed with poison almost killed Tang Rui.

And Victoria's love for him was too crazy and selfish, even persecuting him at all costs.

Dr. Johnson stood up, she got up and handed a cup of black tea with maple syrup to Tang Rui's hand, then returned to her original position and sat down: "Then do you love him?"

"Yes, I love him." The restless eyes gradually softened, holding the teacup to his mouth with both hands to moisten his dry lips, Tang Rui answered almost without hesitation.

The change in Tang Rui's expression was noticed by Dr. Johnson. She gently guided her patient: "Tell me about him? Your husband."

husband?

Yes, they got married, that's what he told Dr. Johnson himself.

Regarding the matter of his and Sherland's marriage, from the calm and indifference of only benefit transactions at the beginning to the increasingly intense emotional interweaving, the weight of the word "marriage" is also deepening. Tang Rui held the hot teacup in both hands, What kind of person is Sherland?

Speaking of character?Sometimes it's naive, sometimes it's calm.

Speaking of appearance?The handsome man who is cold and gorgeous, and the majestic momentum in control of the overall situation is fascinating.

Tang Rui counted a bunch of Sherland's advantages, with a proud light in his eyes: "everywhere is good, I have never seen anyone better than him, this is what made me fall in love with him, but not The only one. The way he looked at me...it felt like a light from me, illuminating his world, and I was his salvation and everything to him."

In the past years, Tang Rui had never seen such a hot gaze from anyone.

"I don't know if it's my delusion or something else... But I just couldn't help falling in love with him. At first, it might just be a feeling. As I get along with him every day, the deeper I understand, the more I feel about him. The deeper his love and attachment grows."

"Even though you're married, you're still not sure he loves you?" Dr. Johnson asked.

"I'm so eager to be truly loved by someone. Now that this person suddenly appears and even married me, I feel as much joy as panic..." Tang Rui had to pause for a moment and do a few Only after taking a deep breath did he have the strength to support himself to continue speaking, the cold transparent glass drenched by rain in his field of vision seemed to be broken into tiny pieces.

"I dare not tell anyone, it's too unfair to him, I know he is not the one who hurt me," Sherland is not Li Dongming, Tang Rui knows, but he just can't help being afraid, "I'm afraid that one day He will leave me and abandon me like everyone else, and if that happens, there is nothing I can do."

His vision gradually became blurred, and the broken water mist inevitably covered his dark caramel-colored pupils. He needed to face the fear in his heart, so he had to dig out all the dark memories that he didn't dare to touch in the secret room.

When my father drove them out of the house with a cold face and closed the door, no matter how much he cried outside the door, the door was never opened;

After the mother remarried, she gave birth to a cute little girl. She shed tears of happiness while holding the baby in her arms, and Tang Rui could hardly remember the last time his mother smiled at him;

When I was young, I couldn't understand many things. I always wondered if I had done something wrong. It wasn't until Tang Rui grew up that he realized that even if he knocked on his father's door back then, he would never return home because there was no such thing as "home".

Many years later, when Tang Rui was sitting on the cold stone steps outside Li Dongming's apartment, he recalled that when he was a child, he seemed to be waiting outside a house for the people inside to open the door.But the person has changed after all, he will no longer cry heart-piercingly like when he was a child, and he will no longer foolishly wonder if he did something wrong to be abandoned by others.

He learned to accept it because he had to.

When a person doesn't love you anymore, there's not much you can do.

If one day Sherland wants to leave him and stop loving him, all Tang Rui can do is accept it.

"But I don't want to accept it. I'm too afraid to lose again, to be abandoned and hurt again and again...but I'm even more afraid because I'm afraid of losing and being hurt, so I dare not love again." Tang Rui couldn't control his emotions He was thinking wildly, and he couldn't control the figure of Sherland that popped out of his mind whenever he was thinking wildly.

No matter how rough the waves are, they are calmed down by the gentle sunshine.

"That's good." Dr. Johnson showed a reserved and gentle smile. She didn't often show too much personal emotion during working hours.

Today's treatment is more like an emotional conversation, or Tang Rui's one-sided confession. After two months since the last time he had to receive psychological treatment due to excessive pressure, what Tang Rui needs more now is precisely There is a safe place where a safe person can listen to him and guide him appropriately.

That's why Tang Rui was eager to go back to London.

He should follow Dr. Johnson's advice and try to trust Sherland's love for him.

It is still raining in London today, and a black umbrella stretches a small sky above the head. After leaving the psychological clinic, I took firm steps along the road in a certain direction, and finally stopped at the entrance of a jewelry store with a history of [-] years. pace.

Tang Rui put away the umbrella, and put the black umbrella dripping with rain into the umbrella bucket at the door. He squeezed his hands vigorously and then let go of each other. His slightly pursed lips showed a cautious nervousness. When the person came towards him, the tightness at the corners of his mouth eased, and a small pink flower emerged from the soil after the winter snow melted.

"Good afternoon, I want to see the ring."